The Trials and Tribulations of Lola Leola
by qarlgrimes
Summary: Lola is a Sixth Year Slytherin who is a total geek for Astronomy, has been labelled the shittiest Slytherin ever, has a Ravenclaw best friend, and a not-so secret crush on Remus Lupin. With her inability to hold a conversation without being a 'total bitch', there's no telling how she's going to woo the Marauder. REMUS LUPIN/OC. HIATUS, NOT ABANDONED.
1. Your Slytherin's Showing

_I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass_ \- **Maya Angelou.**

* * *

 _September 1st 1976._

 _10:50 AM._

* * *

I hate saying goodbye to my parents. Well, my mum more than anything. She gets this sad look on her face like she's sending me off to dance in a pit of lions who've missed a couple of days feeding. That was a stupid example. I mean...well, I guess that isn't an _awful_ way of putting it.

I do, you see, share a dormitory with a bunch of sixth year Slytherin girls. They're fucking _rabid._

'You _will_ write if anything happens, won't you?' My mum has this soft Irish accent that will forever remind me of home. I look quite a bit like her, really. Same hazel eyes, same dark and frizzy hair, same stupidly long legs and thick eyebrows. Do you know how much I have to pluck the fucking things for them to be passable? Being a girl and having all these bloody standards to meet is a fucking _hindrance._ 'I don't want Brant sending us letters to tell us you've been-been... _hexed_ again, Lola! We hadn't heard from you in days and then _that_ -' Fucking hell. She's growing hysterical and I haven't even got on the bloody Hogwarts Express yet.

I look to my father, who is twitching his moustache with a distracted look on his face. His hand is planted on my little brother, Charlie's, shoulder. Speaking of Charlie, he looks like he's about to piss himself. _Not_ Gryffindor, then. I always reckoned he was gonna be a Hufflepuff, anyway. 'Dad, make it stop. _Please_ '. I jut my chin toward my mother.

He jumps at my voice. He'd grown quite good at zoning out my mothers hysterics. He pats my brothers shoulder and brightens up, bald head glinting in the orange lighting. The noise of families saying goodbye and trolleys rattling against the concrete is growing louder and louder - it's almost time to go. 'Come on, Helen. She's fine! She's survived this many years with the snakes - sure she can handle two more!'

'Don't call them that, Brian!'

'Dad, what if _I'm_ in Slytherin? I don't wanna be a _snake_ like Lola! They all hate her!'

'Charlie, leave you sister alone! Nobody _hates_ her-'

'No,' I agreed easily, thinking of my terrible Slytherin Housemates. 'They do'.

'See! They hex her and charm her skirt to do funny things all the time - dad told me!'

'Brian!'

'I was _preparing_ him, Helen'.

Charlie is growing quite hysterical at this point. His black curls are flying about his face in a panic as he looks from my father to my mother, his blue eyes nearly welling with tears. I catch sight of a few seventh year Ravenclaws snickering as they pass. _Oh, piss off._ I want to tell them. _Like you were any better when you were a first year._ It is then that I catch the eye of Sirius Black - a boy who always found it just fucking _hilarious_ that someone like me was sorted into Slytherin. Stupid Gryffindor.

Still, he did aim a pretty good pus-squirting hex at Yaxley last time that bastard tried to call me a filthy little halfblood muggle-lover. Considering he comes from one of the darkest pureblood families around, Black ain't too bad.

'We've got to go, Charlie,' I tell him, having rolled my eyes at Black's ever amused face. 'Come on, dude. It's fine! You can sit with me and Brant on the train until you find some other first years, huh?' I blink suddenly, thoughts of my best friend swarming. 'Wait. Where the fuck is Brant?'

My mother (who, if you haven't guessed by now, is a muggle and cautious of _everything_ Slytherin because of everything my stupid _Gryffindor_ father has told her) snaps her mouth shut and widens her eyes at me in warning. I nearly _cower._ 'You're right,' she says, giving my brother a very soft smile. 'It's almost time to go, Charlie. Are you ready to go with your sister?'

'You don't _have_ to talk to him like he's an infant'. I, yet again, roll my eyes.

My father chuckles. I think he always knew I was going to be in Slytherin, you know. He always said I had a sarcastic way about me - he swears I used to even roll my eyes at him when I was a baby. He wasn't exactly _happy_ (hello, Gryffindor?) but he got used to it. If anything, my parents care more about the fact that all of my Housemates threaten to kill, maim or seriously injure me on a daily basis.

'Oh!' I gasp happily. 'There's Brant! _Yoo-hoo_!' I trill, watching his dark haired head snap in my direction. It also catches the attention of James Potter and Remus Lupin, both of who's heads turn to look bemusedly in my direction as they climb aboard the steaming red train. Although the latter stare makes me falter, I attempt to ignore them and stand on my tiptoes in my beat up converse, waving madly. I look back at my little brother, who is clutched in my mothers arms and roll my eyes again. 'Merlin,' I mutter.

'Let the boy go, Helen. Merlin'. I share a knowing look with my father. Some time away from mum will do Charlie wonders. 'C'mere, Charlie. Give dad a hug before you go'. I've always loved that about my dad; he doesn't shy away from affection.

Brant (or Brantley, but he'll hex you into next week if you call him that) is suddenly behind me, shoulder pressed hard against mine. I fling my arms around him as he greets my parents. Merlin, he's grown _again!_ What's with these boys shooting up all of a sudden?

'Brant! Oh, don't you look handsome!' My mum swoops in for a hug once I finally pull away from him, her voice wobbly and her cheeks flushed.

'No!' I snap. 'Enough with the emotional hellos and goodbyes - this is taking _far_ too long. We need to _go._ There aren't going to be any compartments left!' Brant's brown eyes smile at me and I can't believe how much I've _missed_ him since he's been in France. Jesus, he _bulked out._ The girls are gonna be fawning over him even _more_ this year. My mother steps away from Brant and curls her arms around me, whispering her goodbyes with wet cheeks pressed against my hair. 'Quit it,' I mutter. She knows I'll miss her.

'Your Slytherin's showing, sunshine,' Brant says and my dad lets out a booming laugh.

Sigh.

I hug my dad next whilst mum fusses over Charlie, making sure he has everything from his first year robes to the money she gave him to get sweets on the train. Brant nudges him. 'Wait 'till you try the pumpkin pasties, Charlie. They are to _die_ for, little dude!'

'Look after your brother,' my dad says, chin resting on the top of my head. 'And look after yourself. They hex you, you hex them right back. My ambitious, cunning, ball of love-'

I roll my eyes, pulling away. 'Slytherin's are other things too, dad'.

'Yeah. Sociopaths,' Brant butts in, earning him an elbow to the arm from me.

It is then that I realise how empty Platform 9 3/4 has suddenly become. 'Oh, shit!' I yelp, much to my mothers dismay. 'We gotta go - come on, buttercup. On to the train we go'. I waved one last time at my parents, promising to look after Charlie before Brant and I hurdle him quickly onto the train in record timing, nearly knocking over a fourth year Hufflepuff in the process.

'We made it!'

'Boom!'

Brant and I high five dramatically.

'Zaveri. Leola. _Excuse_ me'. We both turn, Charlie tucked neatly between us. Internal _sigh -_ it's Lily Evans, a fellow sixth year with flaming red hair and eyes as green as the stuff I'm sure Brant has tucked away in his jeans somewhere. 'Can I get through please? You're blocking the way'. Her almond shaped eyes blink at her, Prefect badge shining against her Gryffindor robes. Of _course_ she's already changed into her uniform. Skirt below knee length and everything - _Christ._

'Oh, yeah. Sorry, Evans,' Brant says quickly, probably scared that she can smell the weed on his form. He yanks me back and Charlie squeaks. _Hufflepuff,_ I think. _Definitely._

It's only proper and perfect and just my fucking _luck_ that Brant backs me up into Remus bloody Lupin. Why are there so many Gryffindors surrounding me? I should repel the brawny morons. Hiss hiss.

I look over my shoulder and _up_ (I have _long_ legs, what the fuck is happening to all these boys?!) and catch his gaze, offering a quick and sharp apology. _Don't blush. Boys don't make you blush!_ Why do his amber ( _who the fuck has amber eyes?!)_ eyes always look so hooded and tired but in a stupidly fucking attractive way? Those bloody bags under his eyes should scream _meth addict!_ not _screw me!_ Suddenly remembering my little brother is tucked under my arm, I back away quickly and scold myself internally for thinking such filthy things in his presence.

Lupin smiles lazily, looking me up and down with a quick flick of his gaze. I'm wearing dark jeans and a grey _Led Zeppelin_ shirt that Brant grew out of two years ago. I don't even like _Led Zeppelin._ He meets my gaze again. 'Hello, Leola'. Yes, okay? My name is Lola fucking Leola. Mum was too dosed up on muggle drugs to say no to my dad before he picked my name.

Lupin's not even trying to be smug, but I _hate_ the smile he gives me. It's like he _knows_ and he's _mocking_ me. Oh, bloody hell. Slytherin mask of indifference: on. I fucking hate the Marauders. 'Lupin,' I greet coolly.

'Remus - there you are!' Lily says brightly, a wide smile gracing her pretty face. So the scowl was just saved for myself and Brant? _Nice one._ 'You're late for the Prefects meeting. I know, I know. It was probably _Potter and Black_ distracting you'. She scowls and I bite back an eye roll.

Brant tugs on my arm and we're off. I slip past Lupin, eyes darting up his stupidly tall form and noting that he'd gotten a little stubble over summer. Not to mention _taller_ and- and _manlier_ and it looks like he's wearing a white, non regulation t-shirt underneath his robes. Jesus, I thought fifth year Lupin who had suddenly decided to chill out was tasty _._ Sixth Year Lupin was h o t-

 _Why do I care?!_

No. No, no. You don't fawn over guys, just because you-

'This one okay?'

I nod at Brant, allowing him to bundle myself and Charlie into the compartment. There's a first year in there and his eyes widen when he catches sight of myself and Brant. I push Charlie ahead and point. 'There you go. Friend'. He looks like he wants to stab me in the face as his pale features flush. The boy, though, sticks his hand out to Charlie and introduces himself quickly.

'Hi. I'm Elliot Smith'. Muggleborn. Good. Charlie would get on with him. He'd always felt more comfortable in mums muggle world.

Brant tugs me toward the window so that we can sit opposite each other and away from the nervously chatting eleven year old's. I smile at my little brother as he fiddles with his hands and nods at whatever this Elliot kid is saying. I hope they're in the same House-

'I boned a guy'.

I turn to Brant and nod, an approving look gracing my features. 'In France?'

'Uh huh'.

'So, you enjoyed it?'

'Uh _huh'._

'So, you like guys now?'

'Uh uh. _Both_. The world is my oyster, Lo'. He leans back happily in his chair, dark skin practically _glowing_ as he smiles smugly at me. Brantley Zaveri was the epitome of cool and good looking and effortless at fucking everything. Well, aside from Astronomy. That was _my_ forte. Still, how someone could drink and smoke as much as Brant and not be brain dead was a mystery to me. Though, I suppose the Marauders were still alive...

'You greedy bastard,' I joke, kicking my feet onto his knees. 'Does your sister know?' Luella Zaveri, a fifth year Slytherin and one of the girls that often shouted words such as 'halfblood' or 'muggle lover' in my general direction. I mean, how could I not be a muggle lover? My _mum_ was a muggle? Idiots. Although she outwardly hated me and tried _extra hard_ to live up to her fathers standards, she was Brant's sister. You see, Brant's mum and dad divorced when Brant was seven and Luella six. Brant's dad got a little too Pureblood crazy for Mrs Zaveri (she thought she could change him, but she thought wrong), so she called it quits and Brant went with her whilst Luella went with Mr Zaveri.

Which is why she turned out to be a fucking gremlin of a human being. Like, honestly, I've met piles of gnome shit with better manners than her.

Brant snorted loudly. Charlie and Elliot glanced over, before resuming their conversation on what House they wanted to be in. I ignored the fake retching sounds they made at the idea of being in Slytherin. 'Fuck no. You serious? She fucking despises you, and that's just because you're mums a muggle and you-well...' he trails off, an amused smile gracing his features. 'You did _very_ loudly say at the leaving feast at the end of last year that you thought every single Slytherin should retract their heads from Salazar Slytherin's arsehole because he was a - what was it?'

I pursed my lips, trying not to smile. 'A bigoted prick who's _own_ prick was probably the size of my thumb because, well, _why else_ would he be so obsessed with massive snakes if he wasn't making up for something?'

'Sirius Black and Frank Longbottom fell out of their chairs they were laughing so hard - I saw it myself'. Brant scoffed. 'You're gonna get yourself hexed into oblivion this year, y'know. You ought to be careful, Lo'.

I glared at him. 'Let them try'. I sighed. 'My House would be so fucking _good_ if it wasn't for all the Pureblood shit. I'm _sure_ all of them and their families support You-Know-Who'.

Brant glowered. 'Yeah. Luella mentioned it in her letters a few times - says he's got the right idea'. He rolled his large, dark eyes. 'She's doing it to fit in - I swear she _asked_ the Sorting Hat to place her in Slytherin, sometimes - just so dad would be pleased. She _so_ should have been in Ravenclaw with me'. He sighed and took my ankle in his large hand, giving it a quick rub. 'She'll learn - who gives a fuck? Anyway, this guy - Lo. He was _beautiful_ and he let _me_ top _-!'_

I glanced at Charlie to make sure his precious little ears were far away from this conversation. He and Elliot were sat comparing wands (oh, ha ha) and, once again, I smiled at the way his shaggy curls bounced around his face. He was such a little cinnamon roll. It was then that I glanced up at the compartment door and through the glass, the words of Brant fading into the black as I made eye contact with side of Remus stupid-face Lupin's head.

He'd shed himself of his robes and his Prefect badge - not that he'd been wearing his red and gold tie anyway. He was leaning against the door with one skinny shoulder, his slightly tan arms crossed over what looked to be a crinkled, plain white t-shirt. His hair was a sandy blonde mess and his mouth was tugged into a half smile as he stared at the animated and just _ridiculously good looking_ Sirius Black. Remus always looked so soft and hard at the same time - how was that even possible?

' _Please_ tell me you're looking at _Black_ with those 'do me' eyes, because you can do a lot better than Lupin, sweetheart. We've been over this'. I snap my gaze back to Brant, my glare already in place. 'C' _mon._ You've got me and Fabian Prewett on your Banged So Far List, and he was a seventh year when you were only a _fifth_ \- it's only up from here-'

I looked at Charlie. Still distracted. 'We do _not_ talk about _that'._

Brant leans forward and I drop my feet from his lap. Resting his elbows on his knees he grins at me, white teeth shining in the morning sun that filters through the window. Outside, the countryside whizzes by us. 'What? That I _popped your-'_

'I popped yours too!' I shoot back angrily.

He tilts his head. 'Touche'.

There is a brief silence in which I glance toward Lupin once again. His head is leaned back as he laughs at something Black has said, and now I can see Peter Pettigrew bobbing excitedly next to tall, dark and goofy Sirius Black. Potter was probably off hunting Evans or pestering Alice Lavier, Dorcas Meadowes and Marlene McKinnon as to where Evans _was._

'I told him I wanted to fuck him at the Gryffindor end of year party'.

I say it so lowly that I wonder if he has even heard me. When I turn back to Brant there is a positively _glowing_ look upon his handsome, dumb face. 'Oh,' he breathes, clasping his hands in front of him. ' _Do_ tell. I'm offended you didn't tell in the first place, but _do tell_ '.

I shrug. 'Nothing much to tell. We all were fucked, remember?'

'Kinda. I remember stumbling to the Dungeons with you and Edith and trying to roll a joint out of leaves'. He breathes in deeply. 'C'mon - spill it'.

I speak in a fucking _whisper,_ half worried that the Marauders will hear me. 'Oh, yeah. Ha. I'd forgotten about that. Anyway, before that I was with Emmeline Vance dancing and then - ugh, Merlin. And then Black stumbles over and starts necking off with _her_ , so I go over get another drink and _Lupin_ is there and you _know_ I've always had a boner for him, okay? And Regulus Black, actually. Even if he is a prick. Even when I had that thing with Fabian. Sorry! So he's drunk and he looked good last year, he's gotten _fit_. I mean, have you seen him today? The fuck happened? Right - sorry. Anyway we somehow ended up half way up the boys staircase in Gryffindor Tower and he was breathing really hard and his eyes were all _dark_ and I touched a scar on his face and he just fucking _attacked me._ I've never been kissed like that - oh, shut up! Me and you were practically babies. And then I told him...I told him I'd wanted to fuck him _bad_ for ages and then Sirius Black stumbled into us and I ran'.

I shake my head.

'He's seen me. _Weak'._

Brant blinks. ' _That's_ why you're so mortified?'

I kick his shin. 'I am _not mortified._ I don't _get_ mortified. I'm annoyed because now he's looking at me like he's seen me all gooey and girly and drunk and I'm Lola Leola and that doesn't _happen_ to me. He's so fucking _smug,'_ I grit the words out through clenched teeth. 'And I bet he's told the lot of them. The _Marauders_. Stupid bloody name'.

'I forgot what a freak you are with guys. Do you hate them all?'

'Fuck you,' I say, affronted.

'He's looking at you'.

My head snaps in Lupin's direction, only to find he has his wand out and is paying far more attention to something down the corridor than to me. Black is doing a funny little dance as he stares at whatever the hell Lupin is doing. Brant snorts. 'Jesus. You fancy him'.

'I do _not._ I barely know him'.

'Okay then, you wanna screw him'. He cocks a brow, arms crossed.

I blink. 'Shut it'.

'What are you guys talking about?' Charlie pipes up, wide blue eyes looking at me in interest. I pat his arm and shake my head, telling him it's nothing. After he goes back to chatting away with Elliot, I turn back to Brant.

'You breathe a word of this to anyone and I'll kill you'.

'Rude'.

'I'm serious'.

He rolls his eyes and reaches into his pocket for his wand. As he begins twiddling it between his fingers with grace, I glance secretly at the boys outside of our compartment. 'Endrew and Edith don't give a shit about your love life, Lola. Where _are_ they, anyway?'

I straighten up and blink, thinking of the letter I had sent to the two Ravenclaw twins. 'Oh, bugger. I told them we'd find _them. Whoops'._ Brant sighs in annoyance. 'What? You're the brains, not me. We'll go in a second, when-' I cut myself off at catching the deadpan look that Brant is sending me. I suddenly feel dumb.

'When the bumbling band of fuck-boys leaves? I thought you said you weren't embarrassed, Lola Leola-?'

'I'm not! Merlin, you're such a dick. Let's _go_ then'. I grab my bag as I stand, telling my brother that I will see him at the Sorting. 'Just look for me okay? I'll be at the table with the sour faced pale people. You'll be fine'. I pinch his cheek and and roll my eyes at Brant. 'Should we start at the front or the back of the train?'

'Front. Maybe we can catch the food trolley'.

'Okay. Nice to meet you, Elliot'.

I yank open the door with perhaps a little more ferocity than was needed. Black's grey eyes snap to my face and he smirks, catching Pettigrew's gaze before they both waggle their eyebrows at Lupin. _'Subtle,'_ I mutter, annoyed. Black smirks. Lupin stares stoically at me, arms crossed. I'm thankful for Brant's towering form behind me, his warmth close to my back. 'Can you move, please?' I say to Lupin, face blank and eyebrow raised. 'We need to go that way'.

I'm suddenly stupidly annoyed at him for telling Black, Potter and Pettigrew about my embarrassing and dirty drunk confession. I mean, of _course_ he would. _I'd_ tell Brant, Endrew and Edith. But still, fuck him.

 _...I wish._

His eyes flash to Brant before looking back to me. His jaw twitches. He shrugs and pushes himself aside. 'Sure'. Bored amber eyes travel to Black and Pettigrew, both of whom are play fighting with each other. I almost smile when I see Lupin grimace at them. 'We should probably go find Prongs, guys. Lily has probably hexed him a good fifty times by now'. He's got a nice voice. _Why_ does he have to have a nice voice? I'm a sucker for a deep voice _-_

I push past him but, hey ho, my shoelace was untied! Why the fuck _wouldn't_ it be tied? Luck is just _shitting_ all over me today. I stumble and straighten myself quickly, but not before Lupin's hand comes out to steady me, warm and big and right on my bicep and those honey eyes are boring into mine and-

I push away from him and blink with a quick nod. _Go you, Lola._ 'Thanks'.

Brant snorts.

Black smirks

Pettigrew stares at his own hand in interest.

And Lupin looks at me with those bloody eyes and I know that Brant was bloody right, the stupid bloody Ravenclaw know-it-all.

I fancy Remus Lupin and I want to screw the daylights out of him.

* * *

 **I've never written anything like this before - I'm normally pretty subtle with my dirtiness in fics. I started writing a marauders fanfiction a good two years, but it never quite flowed right. I love Lola and I hope you like her too so yeeeeah. Review!**


	2. Close The Blinds - Let's Get High

_If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun_ \- **Katharine Hepburn.**

* * *

 _September 1st 1976._

 _5:00 PM._

* * *

There's always that feeling of utter excitement when you hop aboard the Hogwarts Express and say farewell to your family. You're about to see all of your friends, go back to freely doing magic without age restrictions, back to partying and learning magic and _Hogwarts._

Then after six hours on a bloody train you want to top yourself.

Brant and I found Endrew and Edith in the end, after a good fifteen minutes of Brant mocking me by dramatically tripping over every ten seconds, that is. After I threatened to shove my wand up his arse (to which he responded with an eyebrow waggle and said, ' _please,_ do') he finally stopped being such an obnoxious git. The Ravenclaw twins were spread out in a compartment at the front of the train, surrounded by books and sweets.

'We forgot to do the Charms essay,' Edward had said, blinking his sharp blue eyes up at me.

' _Completely_ forgot,' added Edith, her equally startling blue eyes looking guiltily up at myself and Brant.

Endrew and Edith Bandini were from one of the least respected Pureblood families in Britain. Well, that's what most of my Slytherin classmates said, anyway. No one else really gave a shit about them - only that their dad dropped almost all of his families traditions and took up a job at the Muggle Liaison Office in the Ministry of Magic. Mr Bandini's family, historically, was almost on par with the Black family in old magic and dumb morals. Still, that didn't stop him from marrying a muggleborn Hufflepuff seamstress and inheriting his parents estate and money once they died.

Perks of being an only child, I guess.

I had scoffed at their pale faces and hopped between them in the middle of the compartment, ruffling both their blonde heads and cackling when Endrew complained that he had spent _ages_ making his hair presentable that morning.

Anyway, that was nearly five hours ago and at this point I feel like I'm about to drop dead from boredom.

'Well, we've already gone over our summers, congratulated me on getting laid, congratulated Endrew on failing his Care of Magical Creatures O.W.L _so_ spectacularly and congratulated Lo on making a dick out of herself in front of Lupin. Anything else?' drawls Brant, his feet kicked up onto my lap once again. Edith was cuddled up by my side and her shoulders shook with silent laughter.

'What N.E.W.T subjects did you guys end up picking?' Endrew sat on the floor of the compartment, still scrawling on a lengthy piece of parchment the essay Flitwick had set for those entering N.E.W.T level Charms. It wasn't exactly a secret that Endrew and Edith were the worst fucking Ravenclaws to grace the halls of Hogwarts. It's not that they were stupid - quite the opposite actually. They were just so bloody harebrained that it was a wonder the twins managed to tie their shoelaces without causing an accident.

The three of them all listed of their classes, realising quickly and happily that they had picked the same. Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Potions and Transfiguration. Brant, the fucking nerd, was also taking History of Magic.

'It's interesting, you dumb fuck,' he snapped at me when I snorted along with Edith. 'What are you taking, anyway?'

'Astronomy,' I start, holding up my hand and ticking off my classes for this year. It was nerdy as fuck, but I couldn't wait to see what N.E.W.T Astronomy would hold in store - not that I would share this with _any_ of my friends.

' _Duh_ ,' scoffs Edith, her eyes closed as she curled tighter against me.

I carry on with a roll of my eyes. 'Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Potions and Transfiguration. I was thinking about Muggle Studies, but I have a feeling that the the rest of my House would probably call the light hexing quits and just full on murder me. You know the second years have started on me now? Lestrange and Rosier bloody _sneered_ at me on my way here'.

'They did,' agreed Brant. 'It was quite funny'.

I promptly shove his feet from my lap, to which they _promptly_ knocks over the pot of ink that Endrew had lying on the floor next to his nearly finished essay. He yelps and yanks his work away, but not before the ink spills across the compartment floor.

'Nice one, douchebag,' deadpans Brant.

I scoff and slide my dogwood wand from my pocket, giving it a quick swish and muttering, ' _Scourgify!'_ The ink disappears with a light sucking sound. 'Happy, princess?' I ask Endrew, rolling my eyes as he cradles his parchment tightly to his chest.

'Choke on a dick, Leola,' he snipes, laying the parchment once more on the ground and brandishing his quill. 'This is gonna get an _O_. I can _feel_ it'.

I stared dully out of the window, watching the high mountains fly passed us. 'Merlin, we've still got over an hour left. When did this train ride get so bloody _boring?'_ Edith let out a soft little snore against my shoulder, illustrating my point 'Brilliant,' I mutter, wrinkling my nose at her small form. She was such a funny little thing, was Edith Bandini.

'Do you wanna smoke?'

Endrew's head snaps up, a large smile dashing across his features. 'Yes-'

' _No'._ I stress, wand resting between my hands on my lap. 'How you two are Ravenclaws I will _never_ bloody know. We'll get caught, Endrew - don't look at me like that!' I cluck my tongue at the boys when they share a knowing, exasperated look.

'Just because you're a fucking lightweight'. Brant kicks his feet across his side of the carriage, long legs sprawled across the chair cushion. 'You turn into Loopy Lola when you're high; all jittery and paranoid. Oh my Merlin, when you and Lupin get married you'll be _Loopy_ Lola Lupin-!'

Why is he speaking so bloody loudly?! 'You shut up, you lump of troll shit-'

It is, of _course_ , at that moment that the compartment door slides open with a loud cough and a flourish of Sirius Black's perfectly stupid dark hair, his mouth halfway open as if he is about to make a grand speech. Behind him I see the ever messy black hair of James Potter. Edith starts with a light snore and I have to grab her shoulder to stop her from falling on top of her twin brother.

There is a brief silence as Black's mouth forms into a wicked grin. Potter's head pops onto his friends shoulder, mirroring his expression.

'Remus didn't tell us - when _is_ the big day?'

'So _young_ -'

I wave my wand at them, suddenly very tired of all of the childish boys I have scattered around my life. 'I'm going to castrate the both of you if you don't shut up'. Brant is laughing loudly on his seat, hands clutching his stomach. I hate him - I really do. 'What the hell do you want?'

'Lola _Leola -_ my sweet Slytherin rose, why such words of malice from such a pretty little face?' Black practically _sings,_ pushing his dark hair over his shoulder. What a _ponce_. Potter grins even wider beside him. Can they just admit defeat and bang already? I scowl at him, wand still aimed high. Edith blinks at it before plopping her head right back onto my shoulder, wide blue eyes watching Potter and Black with mild interest.

I'm not entirely sure Endrew had even noticed their entrance. He seems more concerned with protecting his essay.

I blink back at the two of them, a blank stare on my face.

Black sighs dramatically, sending Potter an exasperated look over his shoulder. Potter purses his lips dramatically and shakes his head. I hate them. I hate the Marauders. Black eyes me with amused grey eyes. 'We were _going_ to invite you to Gryffindor Tower for the welcome back party, but if you're going to be so _rude-'_

'We'll be there,' cuts in Brant, having recovered from his short laughing fit. 'She's just being a Slytherin'.

The look I give him is bordering on manic.

Edith giggles lightly in my ear.

Endrew mutters something at his essay.

Potter claps his hand onto Black's shoulder, whilst the latter grins a grin that would have any girl in Hogwarts falling to their knees in more ways than one. 'Good!' he says, running a hand quickly through his ridiculous hair. 'You should be honoured, Leola,' he says, with that stupid Potter smirk. 'We _never_ invite Slytherins to our parties do we, Padfoot? You should be kissing our shoe-'

I narrow my eyes dangerously at him, my wand aimed higher.

Black chuckles and winks at me. 'See you later then! Zaveria, Bandini's'. He pushed Potter lightly out first, but not before calling over his shoulder just before the compartment door slides shut, 'Try not to leave Remus on a staircase this time, Leola! It's rude!'

I am _seething_ by the time they leave.

'I'm going to strangle that little _shit,'_ I grind out, fist clenched so tightly around my wand that blue sparks fly out. 'I bet he's had a right laugh about me to them. I am a _Slytherin_ and we do not fawn over stupid _Gryffindors._ We especially do not tell them how desperately we want to screw them - they should be telling _us_ that! Why do I care - _why?!'_

'Merlin, is this the first crush she's had on a bloke?' asks Endrew, legs crossed and eyes wide from his position on the floor. He looks uneasily from me to Edith. 'You're a girl. Do something'.

Edith huffs a little and straightens herself up for the first time in hours. With doe wide blue eyes she blinks at me, mouth shut into a straight line. I glower at her, my hands twisting around my wand and my stomach churning with-with...I'm _embarrassed._ How disgusting. Edith's lithe hand comes up to poke me once against the cheek. 'Cheer up, Buttercup. You know, they're probably going to tell Lupin that you were talking about marrying him. They're saw it _completely_ out of context'.

Endrew snorts very loudly.

My mouth falls open in mortification. Nope. 'Oh, fucking hell. This is _your_ fault, Brant! I look like an idiot and that is _not_ something I enjoy! Oh, Merlin'. I fall back into my seat, already quite done with this term. 'Oh, screw it. Close the blinds - let's get high. I'm gonna need to it to get through the Sorting Feast with all those new Slytherins piling in to hate me'.

Brant leans forward and grins. 'You sure? You're pretty fucking weak when it comes to weed, Lo'.

I glower. 'I know. Make it small. I'm going to go and get into my robes beforehand'. I stand quickly and grab my bag, slinging it over my shoulder. Sliding past Endrew, I turn back to the three of them (Brant is gleefully digging through his pockets) and raise my finger. 'Just to clarify, you're all horrendous friends. Like, you _really_ suck'. Brant, Edith and Endrew all stick their tongues out at me as I slide from the compartment.

With my legs stiff from sitting for so long, I make my way toward the nearest toilet to change into my Slytherin robes. The air down the train smells oddly like dungbombs and I'm quite sure the Marauders have something to do with it - that's normally the case, anyway. Last year they turned Lucius Malfoy's hair pink as a farewell gift from them before he graduated.

As much as they can be shits, they _are_ quite funny. Malfoy wasn't my... _biggest_ fan, to say the least. He was the leader of the little rag-tag group that used to hex and shout names at me. I often think it's because I turned him down at the Halloween Feast in third year.

I slip past a group of second years and, with a haughty glare in their direction, they scatter. _Some_ good things come from being a Slytherin - even if you are the shittiest Slytherin to ever exist. _Bugger._ There's someone in the bathroom. I roll my eyes and lean heavily against the wall opposite the bathroom door, noting that most of the other students are all already dressed in their Hogwarts robes. _Whoops._

The door to the bathroom slides open and Peter Pettigrew steps out, his chubby face and wide eyes staring down at me. Fuck - even _Pettigrew_ got taller? The world is all wrong, I don't like it. The blonde haired Gryffindor boy considers me for a moment, before a quick knowing smile darts across his face when he realises who I am. I scowl.

'Leola,' he greets, in that voice of his that has _definitely_ not broken properly yet.

'Pettigrew,' I shoot back, cocking a brow at him. 'Can I get through, please?' I said _please,_ you shit. Move. Anyway I was partnered with Peter last year for a Potions class, to which he had _epically_ fucked up our Draught of Peace potion. From then on, he had been on my shit list. Well, not _too_ high up on it, anyway. He _had_ been the one to tell Black to hex Yaxley for me last year. I couldn't fault him there.

He shrugs and steps to the side, his cheeks rounding with a slight smile. 'See you tonight, Leola. You gonna bring Bandini with you?'

I blink at him.

'The girl one'.

I sigh. 'Yes'.

He grins before bumbling off down the corridor, probably in search of his band of idiots best friends. 'Cool! See ya!'

* * *

'Shit. No. This was a terrible idea. Why did you allow me to smoke, Edith? You're supposed to look after me. I'm paranoid as fuck. Ah, shit'. I curl myself tighter in my robes, the Slytherin emblem heavy against my chest. Fucking snakes. It's really fucking ironic, actually. I've only ever told Brant, but I'm actually terrified of snakes. They _literally_ repulse me. The way they slither and unhinge their jaws...yuck.

This is why I should never get high. I sound a fool.

Brant is snorting into his hand. 'Oh, I love it! You actually sound like a normal person when you're high, you know? Not like a moody fucking gnome'.

'A _gnome?'_ say Edith and Endrew.

I laugh at their faces and, suddenly, the train is slowing down. Oh, no. Why did I think this was a good idea? I'm still _far_ too stoned to be in public right now. I can actually _feel_ how heavy and red my stupid eyes are. Bloody Brant. Bloody Lupin. This is all _his_ fault for making me feel...things. 'Oh, Merlin. How do I look?' I turn swiftly to Brant. His leans forward and narrows his dark eyes at me, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

'You look baked, my sweet'.

I groan. 'Merlin. I don't even know if I can walk'. I stand quickly. 'Never mind! C'mon. Let's avoid talking to people, okay? Thank _God_ no one ever talks to me at my table'. I tug Edith to her feet, drawing her attention away from the fluff on her brothers shoulders. 'Come on, dopey. Oh, I think Pettigrew fancies you, by the way. Okay. Do I sound okay? I feel like I'm being very loud right now'.

Edith blinks slowly at me. 'I think it smells like weed in here,' she murmurs.

I blink stupidly.

'Just shut up and go,' mutters Brant, nudging me against the back. The three of them have their Ravenclaw robes on and I feel a trill of jealously for a moment. I wish I could sit and their table with them - Ravenclaws always get the best chocolate pudding. 'You're a terrible student, Leola. I can't believe you forced this upon us'. He barely even looks that stoned. How unfair.

' _Me?'_

I stumble through the corridor and into Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon. Evans rolls her eyes and continues on whilst McKinnon pauses and sniffs, a devilish smile whipping across her slim face before she bounds after Lily, short blonde hair bouncing. Before hopping from the train, she sends me an amused smile. Oh, bugger, do I look that bad? I glance behind me as we walk single-file down the train and meet Endrew's eye. Shit, never mind. Endrew looks like a bloody troll. I think he's _drooling-_

I bump into yet _another_ person and, oh bloody hell, it's _Snape._ He narrows his beady black eyes at me and sneers at Brant before stalking away. Ah, I do love my Housemates - such friendly individuals!

God, I am _thirsty._ My tongue feels like a lump of rock.

'Merlin, Lo. Learn how to walk, will you?' Brant scoffs, pushing past Endrew to place a hand on my shoulder as I step off of the train. I glare up at him as he hops down beside me and a roguishly handsome grin spreads across his face. 'You feel better now though, right?'

I purse my lips and try not to smile. 'Shut up'. I look around and watch as students walk across the platform of Hogsmeade Station toward the main gate where the carriages await us. I blink lazily up at the late evening sky, suddenly very thankful for the dim light. I always look so bloody _rough_ when I smoke. As vain as it sounds, that's why I often don't join others at parties when they do it.

I thought for a moment that I had caught the eye of Lupin and my eyes narrow in preparation to send a well earned glare. His head _was_ turned in our general direction, amber eyes blinking slowly at us through the mass of students that piled off of the train. I follow his gaze and glanced up at Brant, who was helping an unsteady Edith off of the train. Merlin, _she_ looked like she was going fall asleep.

I suddenly felt a whole lot better about my state.

By the time I look back to Lupin, he's walking in the directions of the carriages with Black's arm thrown over his shoulders. I blink, chewing the side of my mouth in thought. Huh. Maybe Lupin was gay or bi or something? I mean, when most people looked at Brant with that kind of intensity it was usually because they wanted to bone him.

I was _really_ starting to get thirsty. I told Brant this as we wandered over to the horseless carriages. 'My mouth feels like a desert. Do we have to go to this party tonight? I just want to _sleep'._ I bump lightly into a third year Hufflepuff and glare a little too furiously. _Tone it down, Bellatrix._

'You guys are the shittiest people to smoke with, y'know,' drawls Brant, guiding us into a carriage. 'Shit, only room for two'. He sniffs at the third years inside and they literally _whimper._ 'Twinsies - you guys take this one. _Wait_ for me at the entrance to the Great Hall, alright? You two are so bloody obvious, you're gonna get me in shit'. With that, he steps down from the carriage and pushes the two of them inside. 'Be good. Don't be weird'. I peer into the carriage and watch the two of them blink at Brant with half offended pouts on their faces. 'Merlin,' mutters Brant, slamming the door shut.

'There's two over there,' he points, taking me by the crook of my elbow and guiding me over. 'You're a fucking liability, you know that?' He says, adjusting me when I trip.

'You're incredibly rude,' I shoot back, rolling my eyes when Filch starts shouting at everyone to hurry up and find a carriage. Moody old squib. 'I told you I was shit when I get stoned - oh, the carriage left'. I pull myself to stop. 'Let's go to the other one. I'm about to pass out from thirst. Oh! I forgot to say goodbye to Charlie before he went on the boats-!'

Brant drags me faster. ' _No -_ come on. This is taking _way_ too long already'.

I pull my most haughty look. 'You're being a right moody shit today, Zaveri. Come on, then. I can't be late - mum'll kill me if I miss Charlie's sorting. I reckon he's gonna be in Hufflepuff, y'know. He cried last week because I told him his spaghetti was worms. I was _obviously_ joking, the idiot. Dad thinks he'll be in Gryffindor, but that's just because-' I pause midway into the carriage, Brant's hand planted on my bum to help push me into the small space.

Oh, no.

Marauders. All of them.

' _Nope_ ,' I mumble, suddenly feeling very stoned and very exposed.

'That's a nice story, La-La!' trills Sirius Black, kicking his feet down from the chair opposite him and flourishing his hand. 'Please, sit!' The seat was next to Lupin. No. Nah. Nope. Potter and Pettigrew snicker on either side of Black. I'm too stoned to compose myself. This was a terrible idea. Fuck Brant. Fuck weed.

'Lola, move!' Brant shoves my butt and I'm suddenly plopping ungracefully into the chair beside Lupin. My shoulder smacks against his and he lets out a little huff of a laugh. 'Alright?' greets Brant to the boys, clambering through and falling back onto the chair on the other side of Lupin. He ignores my helpless gaze as he passes me, an obvious smirk gracing his features.

The carriage starts moves with a jostle and I feel like the walls are closing _in._ I breathe in deeply, feeling the heat of Lupin seep onto the left side of my body. Brant says something but I ignore it as I look out of the window, watching the pink sky turn to twilight and wishing that this bloody journey would be over with already. I flex my hand in my lap, wanting nothing more than to have a big glass of water and a very large sandwich in front of me.

'Wait,' laughs Potter, opposite me. His stupidly long legs knock against my knees. 'She's _baked_?'

The words tumble from my brain to my mouth. 'Like a cake'. Black slaps his knee and laughs outright, his dark hair whipping back and I swear I see Brant start to drool onto his robes. Pettigrew looks momentarily jealous, but soon starts laughing with Potter and Black. _I_ just feel very victimised. 'You are _too!'_ I shoot back, finally turning toward Lupin. I aim the words at Brant over his chest and his Prefect badge shines back at me.

' _I_ don't look it, Princess Pink-Eye'.

'You're fucking rude,' I mutter, and Lupin's shoulders shake with laughter next to me. The low chuckle that rises from his chest has my stomach doing some very unnecessary flips. Gross. Is this what having a crush feels like? I'd rather just have the need to screw his brains out like I did with Fabian. I think Black sees the pink rise on my cheeks, because his grey eyes glint when I catch his gaze and he smirks.

'So, are you two dating or screwing or what?' Black asks loudly and I feel Lupin stiffen next to me. Potter has a wolfish grin on his face as he stares at the boy next to me, but I'm far too concerned with the fact that people think Brant and I are _dating._ I mean, yes, we did take each others virginity's and _that_ wasn't exactly a secret after Brant shouted it out at last years Halloween party when he went as a fucking _condom._

The carriage jumps as we hit a rise in the road.

'Merlin, _no!'_ Brant practically yelps, holding up his hands and shaking his head wildly. He laughs and snorts and acts like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard. 'No. _No_ '.

I roll my eyes and stare blankly at him. 'Yeah, you could have just said no once, you dick'.

Pettigrew snorts.

'Ah,' drawls Black, kicking one foot up onto the space between Brant and Lupin. 'Good to know, that'. I narrow my eyes at him. 'Are you and those dopey Ravenclaw twins coming to the welcome back party tonight? _We_ have means of getting a load of firewhiskey and butterbeer'. He waggles his eyebrows at me and I shake my head, annoyed that I find myself smiling in amusement.

'Yu _p,'_ pops Brant.

I roll my eyes.

'Oi, Zaveri. Did you hear that Emma Vanity is Slytherin's new Captain? Looks like our teams are in trouble this year, mate'. Having _finally_ found people who give a shit about Quidditch (Endrew, Edith and I couldn't give less of a harpies shit that he's the Ravenclaw Chaser) Brant leaps for a chance to natter about it. And so, much to my despair, Quidditch becomes the topic of conversation from then onward. Without meaning to, I let out a noise of disgust at the sound of Vanity's name. The bitch. I've shared a dorm with her for the last six years, and the girl is worse than Slytherin himself.

Lupin shifts next to me and I stiffen. 'Not a fan of Quidditch?' he murmurs, low voice close to the top of my head. Oh, bugger. Why does being high make me want to latch onto his form and suck on his mouth about a billion times more than I normally do? I cross my arms and glance up at him, having slumped low in my seat. His face is angled toward me, his lazy gaze planted on my face.

As I stare, a smirk slowly graces his features.

 _Oh, Merlin, was I staring for that long? This is why weed is bad - it turns you into a bumbling, fumbling mess. You are_ not _a bumbling, fumbling mess, Lola!_

I cough and blink my tired eyes lazily. 'No. Nor _Emma Vanity_ ,' I snipe, ignoring the heat that rises on my cheeks as I notice the way his messy, floppy, bundle of sandy hair falls about his forehead in short waves. Merlin, _I loved_ floppy hair - nothing like Black's neat shoulder length curtains or Potters stick straight black styled mess. Lupin's looked like I could run my hands through it and it would still be the same-

I tear my gaze away and stare out the window. 'I share a dorm with her. She's not my biggest fan'.

 _You're angry at him! Quit being such a weirdo!_

I snap my mouth shut and Lupin chuckles that low chuckle again and I want to _die._ I bet he and his friends were _chuckling_ away when they were gossiping about my drunken ramblings to him. I cringe at the thought.'To be fair,' he starts, still talking in a low voice as the boys around us get louder and louder the more they talk about Quidditch. 'It doesn't seem like any Slytherin is'.

I snap my head toward him and realise he is making a _joke._ His eyes are hooded in that Lupin way and he looks like he hasn't slept in a week. _Why_ is that so fucking attractive?! I give a tight smile as my eyes dart to the two thin scars that run along his jaw and nod in agreement. My eyes land on his very light brown eyes (I'm trying to stop calling them amber and honey coloured because I sound fucking pathetic) and shrug. 'Very true'.

 _Last time our faces were this close, he was pushing me against the walls of Gryffindor Tower and sucking on my neck like he was trying to-_

I flush and look hastily out of the window. _What_ is with all of this blushing? I don't blush! I never blush! Merlin. I hate this. I hate having a crush on a person I want to strangle - it's bloody exhausting.

It is at the moment that the carriage comes to a sudden halt and, with a quick look out of the window, I see it. Hogwarts; shining above us in all of her glory, the windows of the castle glittering away like little gems. I almost sigh in relief, but decide that would probably be a little _too_ rude. Potter pushes open the door and holds out his arm dramatically. 'Milady,' he quips, a wicked grin on his face.

I roll my eyes and stand, ignoring the fact that I could have _sworn_ I felt Lupin's hand ghost against my lower back as I rose quickly from my seat.

I'm probably just stoned.

* * *

 **And another chapter! Thanks for the few reviews so far, they were great! I'm trying to write Lola as stubborn as she can possibly be. I mean, she's at Remus because she's too proud and what is a Slytherin without that haughty pride? Next chapter will be the welcome feast and Gryffindor party! Review and I'll get it up even quicker!**


	3. Wear Something Tight, Hot Stuff

_I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody's passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn't mind learning_ – **Amy Poehler.**

* * *

 _September 1st 1976._

 _7:15 PM._

* * *

There always comes this point with me when I smoke, as the heavy feeling of being _baked_ starts to fade, that I just get very... _giggly_ and _hyper._ Not in that annoying way that Alice Lavier gets when she drinks too much Butterbeer and tries to _mount_ Frank Longbottom (they've been dating for the last three years, so I guess it's okay) but I just want to _talk._

'Leola, Charles!'

I sit up straighter in my seat, glad for the width of space on either side of me. Some fourth years that I don't know the names of sit to my right, whilst Yaxley and his cronies sit a couple of spaces to my left. No one likes to sit elbow to elbow with me - I guess they're worried they might catch my 'craziness'. I couldn't give less of a shit about them, though, because at that moment my little brother is tripping toward the seat at the front of the hall and the Sorting Hat is being placed onto his head by Professor McGonagall.

I catch Brant's eye and he grins, giving me a quick thumbs up. Edith and Endrew sit either side of him, and it looks suspiciously like Endrew is falling asleep into his soup. I scoff an turn back to the front of the Hall. There is a good thirty seconds of silence throughout the Great Hall as the Sorting Hat makes its decision, most likely murmuring words into my brothers head. I see Charlie's dark eyebrows draw together just before the Sorting Hat opens its leathery mouth and booms out, ' _GRYFFINDOR!'_

Huh.

I _fly_ from seat, clapping as loudly as I can as I watch my little brother hop down from the seat and hurry over to the Gryffindor table, his cheeks pink and a wide smile thrown across his features. _Gryffindor!_ Dad's gonna fucking piss himself with happiness when hears - Merlin. I let out a quick _woop!_ (Black shakes his head in amusement whilst clapping away and Brant follows my lead and echoes my shout) before the glares from my table have me grinning wickedly and lowering myself onto the bench.

I glare at the fourth years next to me who are watching me with silent disgust. ' _What_ , you little turds?' I spit, brandishing my fork. Oh, wait...it's a spoon...

The Feast is a quick and uneventful - for me, anyway. I eat quickly and talk to no one, ignoring the one snide comment that Yaxley makes to me about 'blood traitor father'. I'm used to it by now, and a lot of the time my father takes it in his stride. 'Slytherin himself would have dropped if prejudice if he'd seen how your mother looked the night I met her,' he would say, as I pretended to retch into my lap.

'Fuck off, you ugly mug,' I shot back happily at Yaxley. I'm _far_ to overjoyed that my brother isn't a _Hufflepuff_ for anything to bring me down. After finishing my chicken and chips in record timing and downing a good four glasses of Pumpkin Juice, I rise from the Slytherin Table and hurry quickly over to where my three best friends sit at the end of the Ravenclaw table. Edith is talking politely to a first year girl opposite her, whilst Endrew and Brant are ducked together quietly.

'No, no. She's not _nearly_ fit enough-'

I stand behind them, my back to the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables. 'Who's not fit enough?' I inquire, lowering my head so that it hovers between the two of them. They spring apart suddenly, Endrew looking far guiltier than Brant. The latter cocks a careless brow at me.

'None of your business, Princess. Boy talk'. I narrow my eyes at the both of them. 'Actually, you can probably help'. I smirk and drop to my haunches as the two boys turn in their seats. 'Endrew needs to get laid'.

I groan and shoot to my feet. 'I thought it was something interesting!'

'Hey!' Endrew sputters, cheeks a little flushed. He still looks baked as a cake, whereas I feel slightly more airy and a _lot_ better than I had earlier. 'I _am_ interesting!' I smile tightly and nod with a believing look on my face and give him a swift pat on the head. 'You're a bitch, Lola,' he mutters, flattening out his blonde hair. 'You'll see how interesting I am at the party tonight'.

I cock a brow and cross my arms, looking down at him. 'Are you going to recite _A History of Magic_ to everyone?' Brant snorts into his goblet.

'Piss off'.

I roll my eyes up to the enchanted ceiling. 'You get yours, Endrew. If I see any girls your type, I'll push them your way'.

' _Thank_ you'.

'So,' starts Brant, placing his goblet onto the tabletop. ' _You_ look less like a ghoul, anyhow. You dads gonna spontaneously combust when he hears about Charlie. A Gryffindor and a Slytherin in the same family. You're like a way less exciting version of the Black family'.

I scoff.

'Onto even _better_ news, tonight you have another chance to ram your tongue down Lupin's throat'. I sush him quickly and lower my head closer to his, a furious look on my face. Endrew draws himself away from his food to laugh into his hand, his mouth full of chicken. Brant grimaces. 'Did you see his face when Black asked if me and you were going out? He looked like he wanted to _murder_ him - it was fantastic!' He looks _gleeful_.

I give him a funny look, my knees starting to hurt from crouching. 'Since when do you care about who I fancy?'

Edith suddenly joins the conversation, her voice much lower than the boys. This is why I love Edith - she actually has _some_ common sense. 'Because you don't just _fancy_ him, Lola. You have a _crush_. That's never happened! You're showing emotions beyond hunger, anger and drunkenness!'

'You're evolving!' Endrew cackled out.

'I _don't_ have a fucking _crush_ on him' I grit out quietly. I don't, okay? I want to screw him then murder him for telling his friends about me and laughing at me and making me all-all-

Oh, piss off.

'Oh, Merlin. Francis is coming over'. I automatically perk up and look to see Francis, Edith's on and off boyfriend, coming over from the other end of the Ravenclaw table. Francis was, quite possibly, the funniest human being I had ever met - even if he didn't _know_ he was being funny. Francis was a muggleborn seventh year from Chelsea with the poshest accent I have ever heard _in my life._ One time Brant and I got him stoned and he lectured us for fifteen minutes on how to eat spaghetti properly.

'Francis!' I greet as he slips beside Edith, placing a solid kiss on ether of her cheeks before landing on her mouth. 'How are you, man? How was your summer?'

'Quite well, Lola. My summer was fairly good - mummy and daddy took myself and Anthony to the South of France for three weeks, it was quite splendid. Endrew, I don't know how many times I have to tell you that is the _wrong_ spoon to eat your dessert with. One should _always_ eat their dessert with the smallest spoon offered to them. I've asked Headmaster Dumbledore why Hogwarts does not have a proper set of cutlery for each course, but he paid no mind to what I was saying'. He looked at Edith like this was the most _ludicrous_ thing.

'Can't bloody blame him,' muttered Endrew.

Brant buried his face in his arms, shoulders shaking with laughter.

As Edith and Francis went about greeting each other, I turned back to Brant. 'I'm going to go to my dormitory and unpack in a second. Shall we meet at the Fat Lady at nine o'clock, yeah?'

'Sure thing, sugar tits'. A devious look shone upon his face as he glanced over my head. 'Lupin's looking at you'.

I rolled my eyes. 'I'm not going to fall for that again, Brant. Oi, Edith, what are you going to wear tonight? I think I heard Lily Evans and Alice Lavier saying they were going to put a little effort in, what do you think?'

Edith nodded slowly, her hand tucked between Francis's. 'Yes. I think I'll wear something nice, Lola. Perhaps a nice top and jeans. Would you like to come to the Gyffindor party, Francis?' _Aaaaaand_ we've lost her. 'Lola,' she said lightly and suddenly, eyes cast beyond my head. 'Remus Lupin is looking at you'.

I stiffen, my head whipping around before I can even remind myself to be subtle. Shit, Brant wasn't lying. There, beyond the Hufflepuff table, I can see Remus Lupin chewing on his thumbnail and staring down at me from his place at the Gryffindor table. I furrow my brow at him, watching as he blinked in surprise before, slowly, letting a small smirk light up his face. See, he always smirked a little differently from Black. Whereas Black's smirk said 'I could do terrible, _terrible_ things to you', Lupin's said 'I know what you're thinking - you _told_ me you wanted to screw me, Leola'.

I looked at Brant desperately, my face hot. Edith was already immersed in a conversation with Francis, whereas Endrew had gotten caught up in talking to some pretty fifth year. 'My hearts going all fast. I feel all... _hot'._ I breathed in quickly. 'Make it _stop. Merlin,_ every time he does that bloody smirk I feel like my heart it going to drop out of my butt'.

'Kinky'.

'Stop it!' I whisper furiously. 'This is terrible. I don't like it. _I_ smirk at boys like that, they don't smirk at _me_!'

Brant lowered his head, a small smile on his face. 'Merlin, this is hilarious. You're all flustered. I've got to give it to Lupin though, he may not be the biggest looker like Black, but he sure knows how to play you. _No ones_ been able to do that, not even _me_. You're a fucking hot _mess'._

 _'You're not helping_ ,' I mutter, standing unsteadily. 'You know what? I'm going to go and see my little brother and ignore Lupin's entire existence. I don't care about him. I don't!' I say forcefully.

'Merlin, okay! You don't!'

I nodded quickly, very set in my ways. 'Yes. Okay. I'll see you at nine'.

'Wear something tight, hot stuff'.

I threw him the bird, only to have Slughorn give me a soft warning look from the teachers table. Considering he was Slytherin Head of House, the guy wasn't too bad at all. Although, he was too far up Lily Evans arse to really notice me anyway. As I meandered my way over to the Gryffindor table, I caught my brothers eyes and watched in happiness as he spoke to the boy he had met on the train: Elliot.

Charlie caught my eye and a big old grin spread across his face.

'Dad's gonna be so happy!' He trilled as I placed a my hands on both his shoulders, leaning down to give his cheek a wet kiss. 'Ew - Lola, don't!' The other first years looked at me with something akin to horror. Ah, right. They've probably heard about how terrible Slytherins are already. Best not let them think I'm _too_ soft - don't want to ruin my image.

'Leola - stop scaring the first years, you snake!' called Potter with a large, shit-eating grin on his face. I rolled my eyes and glared at him, my hands still planted firmly on Charlie's shoulders. I mouthed something back to the four-eyed prick- either 'fuck you' or 'piss off', who knows? - to which he laughed loudly and leaned across the table to smack Lupin on the arm.

I turned hastily away.

'There's gonna be a party in Gryffindor Tower tonight, but it's only fifth years up allowed, so don't come down or I'll tell mum and dad'. He flushed red at that. 'I'll see you tomorrow though, okay?' As I walked away, I called, 'Don't forget to write to mum and dad!'

'Shut _up,'_ he seethed, cheeks apple-red.

I could only smirk.

* * *

I bloody hate getting ready for parties. It doesn't exactly help that I often have to get ready alone, because in no world would any of my Housemates be invited to any other House party. It was, sometimes, quite nice to see that others saw me as somewhat friendly enough to invite. Or maybe it was because I was friends with Brant, Endrew and Edith...

Nah, fuck that. Everyone loves me.

It's very hard being a girl sometimes. Do I over-dress or under-dress? Do I wear lip or eye make-up? Do I wear jewellery? Do I wear black - okay, that's a dumb one. Of _course_ I'll wear black. It's times like these that I feel stupid, of course. Here I am worrying about what I should wear, whereas outside the walls of Hogwarts people are in real, deep shit trouble. You-Know-Who kind of trouble.

Speaking of You-Know-Who...

The door to the dormitory bangs open and in strides Emma Vanity and her flock of pale faced Slyther-Bitches. Her dirty blonde hair is pulled into a tight bun at the back of her head and her cool blue eyes assess me for a moment, before she sneers. 'Going to the Gryffindor party, you filthy little muggle-lover? Not only are you a blood-traitor, but you're a House traitor too. Don't think I didn't see your little brother get sorted into Gryffindor-'

I finish putting on my gold (not real, ha! Yeah right) earrings before rounding on her, my wand already drawn. I nearly trip over in my ever so slightly heeled black boots as I start toward her, a sneer on my face. 'If you so much as _look_ at my brother wrong, you grotesque little _fuck,_ I will tear your hair from your fucking head, you got that?' I cock a brow, half hoping that she will leave it and not hex me into next week.

Instead, Vanity throws her head back and laughs a cackle. Bulstrode, Articia and Nott all laugh along with her. I sometimes wonder if it were not for their manic hate of everything I am that perhaps we might have been friends in another life. I shake the thought from my head and lower my wand as they all go to their respective beds and begin unpacking.

I make sure my own trunk is shut and locked tightly before disappearing into our shared bathroom and giving myself a once over in the mirror. Meh, it'll do. I know that, either way, Edith will be ten times skinnier and prettier than me, so why bother? In the end I had chosen loose black dungaree dress that ended just above my knees, black knee high boots (they're far less fancy than they sound. There's scuff marks _all_ over them) and a white crop top to help me feel a little less exposed. I ditch the idea of lipstick and shove on some eyeliner and mascara before deciding that, _yeah_ , that's as good as it's gonna get.

Grabbing my wand and my bag that Brant had charmed with an Undetectable Extension charm, I stalk out of my dorm with Vanity's shouts of, 'Be quiet when you come back in, Leola!'

'Choke on a dick, Vanity!' I reply cheerfully.

Ten minutes later I'm hurrying up the steps to the Fat Lady, already very conscious that I am twenty minutes late to meeting my friends. Ah, who cares? They couldn't go anywhere without me anyway. _Aaaaaaand_ sure enough, I soon see Brant, Edith, Endrew and Francis waiting outside the very moody looking Fat Lady's portrait. She glowers when she sees me.

'I shouldn't be letting _any_ of you in here!' she snaps, big arms crossed over her massive chest.

'Come on, my Lady,' drawls Brant, an attractive smile gracing his dark face. 'I've got the password-'

'You do?' I ask, jogging over to them and wobbling on my feet in the process. Endrew catches me before I can fall, scoffing at my unbalanced form. 'Thanks. How did you get the password - I just assumed they were gonna leave the entrance open like last time'.

Brant shook his head. ' _There_ you are. And no, last time it nearly got shut down because Filch heard the music. Black gave out the password after you left earlier. _Lion!'_ he said suddenly, and the Fat Lady sighed as the portrait swung open to reveal the immensely crowded Gryffindor Common Room. Ugh, far too much red for my liking...

'In, in!' yelped Peter Pettigrew, appearing from around the corner and clapping his hands. 'Quickly! Oh, hello, Edith,' he smiled as we clambered through the portrait hole.

'Wormtail!' called Black from the otherside of the room. Through the mass of Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Gryffindors I could see his face by the radio, docked out in a black muggle band t-shirt and loose black jeans. Merlin, even _I_ couldn't help but swoon. 'Remember the _rules_!' he shouted over the loud chatter and music.

Peter nodded and slammed the portrait shut, his face pink. From his jacket he pulled a bottle of firewhiskey which was already half empty. 'Here - you all have to have a shot of firewhiskey before you can come in. Rules and all'.

'We're already in,' I pointed out. Music, hormonal teenagers, the smell of firewhiskey - yeah, we were in. 'And is the password really _lion?_ That's-that's pretty horrendous'.

'Better than _Pureblood,'_ said a low voice from behind me as Endrew snatched the bottle from Pettigrew and took a long swig. I turned, already knowing who it was. As the bottle was passed between my friends, I considered the lanky form of Remus Lupin. He already had a glass of some amber liquid in his hand, but I was hardly paying attention to _that._ No, I was more concerned with the wrinkled grey shirt and faded jeans he wore. Not too mention that his hair looked _wonderfully_ rumpled and his eyes were hooded in that tired, fucking _irresistible_ way.

How did he look so damn _good?_

I blinked and swallowed. 'Ya got me there,' I said, before promptly snatching the bottle from Brant's hand and taking a deep swing. The fiery liquid hit the back of my throat and it took all of my willpower to not gag there and then. Yes...this was going to be a puking night. I could feel it in my bones. Ignoring Francis and his comments of, 'But what _age_ is the firewhiskey, Pettigrew', I grabbed Brant's arm and tugged him in the direction of alcohol. 'See you later, Lupin'.

He blinked slowly and smirked, bringing his drink to his lips. 'In a bit, Lola'.

My stomach _flopped._

As Brant made us two concoctions of various drinks (they looked foul), he looked up at me and smirked. 'You're blushing again. He called you _Lola'._

 _'Quit it,'_ I muttered. 'Oh, Merlin. I want to screw him so bad,' I buried my hands in my mass of black hair. 'It's not _fair,'_ I whine, snatching the drink that Brant had made me from his hand. Someone bumps into me as they're dancing and I sneer at them.

'Then _screw him,'_ Brant said with a roll of his eyes. 'It's not that difficult'.

I looked at him like he was the stupidest specimen on Earth. 'Well, I can't now, _can_ I? It's a matter of _principle._ I'm not going to be go running after him like I did at that party. Merlin, it was like I was in fucking _heat_ or something. Ugh, no. Never again. He can say sorry for telling his- well, no, I don't want him to say sorry. That's dumb, I-'

'Fucking _Merlin!'_ Brant shook his head at me and took a long drink, brown eyes wide. 'I cannot _deal_ with you suddenly acting like a _girl_ and giving a shit about this. Dump your Slytherin pride and fuck his brains out-'

'Who's brains are we fucking out?'

'Yeah, this sounds way better than the conversation Bandini and her boy-toy are having'.

'Dude, that's my sister-'

Endrew, Potter and Black stand behind me, their hands already full of bottles and glasses to make their own drinks with. I roll my eyes and shake my head. 'Your brother, Black. _Oh,_ I would just _love_ to get my hands on his-' I cackle at his horrified facial expression. 'Oi, Potter. Where's Evans at? You're usually trying to climb her at this point in the evening'. I notice Lupin wandering over with Peter.

Potter shakes his head and begins pouring various drinks. Black, on the other hand, is waving his wand somewhere to the right. 'Padfoot made me promise to be _fun_ tonight and not a-'

'A wet fucking blanket,' said Peter Pettigrew. 'So far, it's working. Shots, anyone?'

An hour and a half later and I'm having the time of my _life._ Somehow I ended up spending _far_ too much time with Sirius (he made me call him that, it feels weird) and I soon found myself on one of the sofas with my legs curled beneath me and my head spinning like a bitch. Bla- _Sirius_ stood before me, a bottle of firewhiskey in his hand. 'I bet you can't do it!' I laugh, clapping my hands.

'I bet I _can,'_ he points at me (or, he tries to. He ends up pointing at Frank Longbottom who sits on my left) and narrows his cross-eyed gaze. 'Ye of little _faith'._ With that he takes a _very_ deep swig of the amber liquid, his stubbly throat working as he chugs. Yanking the bottle away, he looks straight ahead and his stoic face makes a half gagging/half grimacing motion.

'Ha!' I cackle. 'I told you! It's impossible to not pull a face after drinking firewhiskey like that!' I'm slurring. Oh, no. I think _this_ is why none of the other Houses give much of a shit about me, the terrifying anti-Slytherin. I mean, I turn into an absolute idiot when I drink. How could they be wary of me? 'Brant taught me that one - where is he?'

'I let him dance with Alice for a bit,' says Frank, his round cheeks a very pink colour. I sway as I focus on his face, blinking hard. 'I just can't understand how she can dance _so much'._ He looks quite disturbed.

Oh, idea! 'Sirius-!' I was about to ask him to dance, but he shoves the bottle in my direction and places a heavy hand on my thigh. With a wicked grin, he winks and says, ' _You_ do it'.

I narrow my eyes at him. 'I _told_ you I can't-'

'I'll give you ten galleons'.

I yank the bottle from his hand in flash. Money's money, okay? 'Bottoms up,' I say, before taking a swig of the burning drink and regretting it quite quickly. I push it back into his free hand and pull a revolted face. Merlin, _don't_ throw up on Sirius Black, whatever you do. 'Oh, fuck. Why did I do that?'

'Ten galleons'.

'Right, of course'.

Black snorts in an attractive manner before suddenly yanking his hand from my thigh. Like I give a shit - I'm far too concerned with reading the ingredients of the firewhiskey bottle with an even drunker Frank Longbottom. 'I wonder if it has real fire in it,' I say aloud, finger attempting to find the right words on the label.

Someone sits heavily next to me.

' _Probably_ not. Considering it's a liquid and all'. I turn and pause, eyes narrowed at the smirking face of Remus Lupin. 'But that's just one mans opinion,' he drawls, lips twitching and cheeks pink in a way that makes him seem a little less smirky/moody/know-it-all/fucking annoying. He sits lazily next to me, legs open and lean form pressed against the sofa cushions.

I open my mouth and close it. 'He does have a _valid_ point, Frank,' I point out finally.

'Oi, Prongs!' shouts Sirius suddenly over to the other end of the Common Room. The music is louder than ever, and I wonder if the Gryffindors have put a _muffliato_ charm around the Tower. 'Put that song on I like!'

'What song?!'

'You know - the song!'

And he's off.

Frank starts talking to a seventh year Hufflepuff boy who stands to his side, and I am suddenly filled with something like word vomit. I turn to Lupin, whose eyes look a little hazy as he stares with a smile at Black and whose legs are positioned in a way that's just _asking_ for them to be straddled. 'You're fucking everywhere, you know that?'

He turns back to me calmly, lips tugged into a smirk. 'We do go to the same school, Lola'.

I narrow my eyes. 'Since when did you start calling me Lola?' I shoot back as I turn toward him, pointing drunkenly. Now my bare knees are pressed against his thigh. Just one quick move and I'd be pressed against him. 'And quit _smirking!'_ It is then that he smiles. Still, the smile is half mocking. 'You're fucking insufferable,' I point out.

He raised both his brows and breathes out deeply, looking around the room with his arm resting on the armrest. Ha. Guess that _is_ what it's for. I peer at him, noting the light scars and the deep bags underneath his eyes. His skin has always been that nice tan, just a little lighter than Potter's. It was no wonder that McKinnon started fawning after Lupin last year, but didn't he turn her down-?

He looks back at me suddenly, honey (fuck brown, they're _honey)_ eyes cool and questioning. 'Would you like to get a drink?'

I'm half-surprised, so I answer without really thinking. 'Er, yeah. Go on then'.

 _Control yourself, Leola. Merlin, where's Brant?_

* * *

 **And the rest of the party will be in next chapter! How are you guys liking it so far? Thank you for the reviews!**


	4. I Am Not Dealing With A Cracked Out Lola

_There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out_ \- **Mae West.**

* * *

 _September 1st 1976._

 _11:30 PM_

* * *

This party is going never to end. No, wait.

This party is never going to end.

Yes, that's better.

Sirius is currently making out with Marlene McKinnon in the middle of the makeshift dance-floor (they do that a lot) and James Potter is making confetti fly from the end of his wand and its landing in a drunk Lily Evans hair and she _isn't_ shouting at him. There's a group of Ravenclaws that are surrounding Endrew as he attempts to fit as many Jelly Slugs into his mouth as he can (it's very gross) and Edith is laughing next to me being spun about by a _horrendously_ drunk Francis. Every single Gryffindor is _fucked -_ I've had about fifteen of them come up to me and tell me that I was 'really fucking nice for a fucking _Slytherin'._

I elected to take it as a compliment.

And what am I doing? I'm _drunk,_ that's what I'm doing. Really fucking drunk, actually. It's bordering on being quite awful at the moment. After Lupin poured me another drink, he'd actually opened his mouth to say something but then Brant had come along and insisted that we dance because they were playing _muggle music._ That was almost an hour ago and the dance floor has filled up so much since then that I'm not really sure where he went.

Oh, he's next to me.

Well that's fucking mortifying. I've been dancing like a loon for the past half an hour with Brant. How long has he been there? He's just standing next to Pettigrew and some Gryffindor fifth year, laughing and- oh, he has a nice laugh. Oh, fuck. Oh Merlin, his laugh is actually very nice. It's raspy and deep and sounds like firewhiskey tastes and-

And then the intro to _Dancing Queen_ comes on, and I promptly lose my shit. I'm not always inclined toward muggle music, okay? Brant and every other student in Hogwarts seems to be fucking obsessed with muggle rock at the moment, but give me a good disco ballad and I will _freak the fuck out._

'Oh my _GOD!'_

I think I see Lupin jump and mutter a stricken, ' _Fuck-!'_

Brant (who is so battered, by the way) points at me and jiggles his hips, a massive smile on his face. He's mouthing something that looks a lot like 'DANCE BITCH' and, oh my, _I am._ I _live_ for this song. The day I turn seventeen (February 14th, yes, _Valentines Day_ ) I am going to play it on _repeat._

It is then that Sirius Black decides to tear his face away from Marlene's and, with a very haggardly drunk look, shouts: 'Holy shit, I _love_ this song!' I throw my arms in the air at this and grin as big as I can. Fuck, I'm _drunk_. Don't we have classes tomorrow? I strum along with Brant to the sound of the piano, laughing and snorting and waggling my hips as much as I can.

I wonder if he's watching me.

 _'Friday night and the lights are low!'_

 _'Looking out for a place to go!'_

Brant grabs my arm and motions for me to spin, which I do and it it ends _terribly._ I stumble and trip and _why_ in Merlin's name did I wear these bloody boots? I stand solidly on Lupin's foot, to which he swears loudly at and Brant snorts before stumbling to the right and dragging Edith and Francis over to dance with him instead. _Ya fuckin dick,_ I think, scowling at his back.

It is only then that I realise Lupin has caught me by the elbows, his drink long forgotten and spilt across the red carpet of the Gryffindor Common Room.

I look up and blink at this cocked brow, hazy eyes and amused smile before grinning widely and yanking him away from Frank and Peter (Frank was trying to comfort Peter as the latter declared he was going to hurl) and push him into the midst of the dancing. It seems everyone was there now (even Evans is allowing Potter to spin her about) and I laugh and point and Lupin snorts.

With as much grace as I can muster, I curl my hand into the fabric of the grey shirt at his waist and pull him further toward me, urging him to be just a little _fun._ It is then that I start serenading Remus Lupin. To _Dancing Queen_. Terribly. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes and grins suddenly. Not a fucking smirk or smug smile but the kind of grin he probably shares with his Marauder buddies. He grabs my hand and pushes me into a spin as Brant had (ah, Brant who is currently proclaiming himself the King of Ravenclaw as he dances with a _herd_ of them) and this one ends as terrible as the last one had. I fall and land with both hands on his chest and grin up at him, startled to see the same large grin on his face.

'- _Dancing Queen!'_ breaks in Sirius Black suddenly, throwing an arms around mine and Lupin's shoulders. ' _Young and sweet, only seventeen!'_

I join in, bellowing my heart out and punching Lupin in the chest when he only gives Black a sidelong half amused/half annoyed stare. 'I'm a fucking _Slytherin_ and I'm being less of a wet blanket, Lupin! _You can dance, you can jive!'_ I highlight this lyrics with a solid hip bump to Black's side. The action is enough to have him toppling over and I cackle, hurtling him upright by the elbow.

Lupin simply shakes his head as his friend.

And then Potter is there, Brant at his back and a shit eating grin on his face. Oh, no. I know how this ends. I glare at him. 'It's 1976, Lola. Get with _it_ ,' hiccuped Brant, pointing a shaking finger at me. I snort and grab his finger playfully. 'Don't gimme that _sour_ look, ow-!'

I clap my hand to his face to shut him up and and he splutters.

'What? What?' Potter leans forward and whispers something in Black's ear over the heavy music and whilst everyone is distracted I note that Lupin's side his pressed rather tightly against mine. _He's a dick, right? Yeah, course. Complete dick...I guess they haven't made fun of me all night, though._ 'Oh!' says Potter, as Sirius juts his chin up to what I know is the boys dormitory staircase. Fun things happened _there._ 'Oh, fuck, yeah. Let's go. Lily's gone to bed anyway'.

'What are they doing?' mutters Lupin, bending to my ear with his hands stuffed into his jean pockets. His warm breath is against my neck and I stiffen, face flushing with warmth that I cannot blame on the drink.

'Brant has weed,' I say as Brant, Black, Potter, Pettigrew and Endrew begin sneaking off in the direction of the staircase. Brant gives me a little jiggle of the hips and sticks his tongue out before bumbling along after three of the Marauders. Why does he turn into such a _creep_ when he drinks? I curl my hand around Lupin's wrist and give a tug. 'Are you coming?'

'I don't smoke,' he says, though he doesn't pull away from my grasp. I've seen Remus Lupin drunk many times before, and the sight is always slightly disappointing. Whereas I can never keep my footing, chat a bunch of shit and slur every other word, Remus Lupin just looks hazy and perhaps a little more flushed. I've never really _spoken_ to him drunk before...

I roll my eyes. 'That's nice. Are you coming?' I repeat, blinking up at him. I breath in deeply when he looks down at me, his lips quirking into a smirk. Merlin, I wanna plant one on him _so bad._ I reach up and tug at a strand of his sandy, messy hair and remember what it had felt like to have my hands buried in it at the end of last year. Lupin stiffens and I come out of my haze, giving him a cheeky grin and reaching past him to grab a forgotten bottle of firewhiskey, my body pressing over his.

Okay, I feel like that affected me _way_ more than it affected him. That's the last time I try and be sexy and suave.

My stomach feels tight, even as I push the bottle into his hands and say brightly, 'There you go, drink that!' With that, I turn on my heel and begin marching toward the staircase, elbowing various students aside to get there. I let out a deep breath and grasp the brick wall as I ascend, my mind cursing the day that Remus Lupin ever caught my damned attention.

I trip halfway up the curling staircase, and immediately a strong hand grabs me by the waist, cold fingers touching the space between my crop top and black dress. I literally _shriek_ (drinking makes me dramatic, I told you) and, as I'm turning, land on my bum on the staircase. Looking up, I scowl at the laughing face of Remus fucking Lupin. 'Shut the fuck up,' I grumble, ignoring the fact that his laugh was really very nice.

The world tilts a little and I thank my lucky starts I had stopped drinking half an hour ago. Maybe smoking wasn't the best idea...

'Did you not know I was behind you, Lola?' He laughs, the bottle of firewhiskey dangling lazily from his hand. As I stare up at him, I appreciate once again that bloody grey shirt. _Why_ did that piece of fabric turn me to goop?

'Obviously not, _Remus,'_ I bite back, staggering unsteadily to my feet and frowning at the broken zip on my boot. I yank my wand quickly from the pocket of my dress and mutter a quick, ' _Reparo!'_ Immediately the zip zooms back in place and I stand straight, hands on my hips and a smug smile on my face. 'I'm _so_ good at magic,' I say. Ah. We're at the 'Lola chats shit' stage of being drunk. Fantastic.

'Witches generally are,' Remus nods, a thoughtful look on his face.

I snort and turn back around, feet unsteady on the narrow steps leading up to the boys dormitories. I make a squeaky sound when my foot slips on the staircase, regaining my balance quickly but not before Lupin's hand strikes like bloody lightening _again._ Only this time, it lands on my _butt._ I wave my wand over my shoulder when he snatches it away and apologises quickly. 'You better be sorry, you little pervert. I'm a Slytherin you know - we know the _best_ hexes'.

'I'm not a pervert. I was being _helpful-'_

I pause in ascending the stairs and look over my shoulder, narrowing my eyes playfully. 'That's _exactly_ what a pervert would say, Lupin'. I pause momentarily before starting up the stairs carefully again, noting with wonder the pink that touches his cheekbones and the defensive narrowing of his eyes. Oh, so the smug and cocky act is just that - an _act._ Lupin's _embarrassed!_

This joyous moment of my victory is quickly over when he shoots back the words that had my face flushing a terrible pink. 'I think I preferred _Remus_ as oppose to Lupin, Lola. Does shoving your tongue down my throat and informing me you want to fuck me not condone first name basis?' He says it with an airy kind of nonchalance. How the fuck is he so coherent - he drank more than _me!_

I stop stock still and whirl to face him, a furious look on my face and my wand brandished so that it hits his chest. Still, hearing Lupin swear like that has me practically flooding my basement. I jab my wand against his chest. 'You forget who you're talking to, _Lupin,'_ I snark back, detesting the way he stands so fucking _lazily_ with that horribly attractive smirk on his face. The scars running along his jaw seem to be illuminated by the moonlight that spills through the large window above us. Remind me again why Brant and Edith didn't want to screw him?

The corner of his mouth tugs higher. It looks almost bitter for a moment. 'Is that why you've been so bloody _moody_ since the train - it's because the others have been teasing you, isn't it? I told them to _stop_ '. He rolls his honey eyes and scoffs. 'You Slytherins have serious issues with getting the fuck over stuff, you know that?'

And then suddenly I am not angry. I'm fucking _livid._

'You told them what I said!' I hiss at him, jabbing my wand once again against his chest. 'That was... _private_ \- I don't know! I mean - okay _yeah,_ I would have told _my_ friends - but they wouldn't have made it so bloody embarrassing for you! _They_ wouldn't fucking... _waggle their eyebrows_ every time you walk past. Does it not _annoy_ you that we can't have a bloody conversation because of those...marauding _twits!'_ I snap my mouth shut, annoyed that the words had fallen from my mouth. I stare up at Lupin, both his eyebrows are raised as he chews the corner of his mouth.

'I stop noticing after a while, in all honesty. They do it quite a lot,' he shrugs simply in that dumb grey shirt.

Fucking _shrugs._

I huff out a sigh and pull a face. 'Oh, well _there we go_ then! I have a reputation, you know! The hell do you think would happen if that got back to the Slytherins? What do you think they would do to me if they heard I was _gallivanting_ about telling Gryffindors I want to fuck them?'

Lupin stared down at me. It looked horribly like he was trying not to _laugh_ at me. 'Well, if you were going around telling _that_ many Gryffindors you wanted to sleep with them, I think more than the Slytherins would be talking about it, Lola'.

I lower my wand with a defeated sigh. 'You really are fucking impossible, Lupin. You used to be _nice'._

'And you give too much of a shit of what people think about you,' he shot back, rocking on his heels. Fuck, if I did that we'd both be tumbling down the stone staircase. I realise suddenly that I can no longer hear the music. Huh, I was right, they did _muffliato_ the whole place.

'I give a shit if what people think about me will result in lots of hexes - I couldn't give less of a shit if people hate me,' I point out, tucking my wand back into my pocket. I smile tightly at him, still half annoyed. 'Self-preservation - a _very_ Slytherin trait'.

'You talk more when you're drunk'.

'You fucking _insufferable_ when you're drunk'.

I'm not entirely sure who kisses who first.

One moment I am staring up at him with my arms crossed and him chewing at the side of his mouth, then suddenly my arms are wrapped around his neck and he's nibbling at my bottom lip. It's much like the last kiss, with all that repressed want to just _screw_ pouring out of us into that one, long kiss. His hands grip automatically at my waist, turning me and pushing me solidly against the cold brick wall. My reply is to bury my hands in the hair I love _embarrassing_ amounts, kissing him back with as much vigour as he is giving me.

I push myself against him in every way I can, feeling the hard edges of his lithe body push right back against mine. He's eager and slightly (ever so slightly) inexperienced with his movements, but in all honesty I'm once again too drunk to give a shit. He pushes himself onto the same steps as me, towering even higher over my form and moves his hands lower to cup my behind and push himself further against me, grinding his sudden hardness against my thigh.

My stomach _pools_ with heat. _That_ hadn't been there before.

I breath in and that somehow turns into an _fucking mortifying_ moan as he pulls away from my mouth, moving instead to leave wet kisses along my jaw and then my neck. He pushes his leg between mine and fucking _grinds_ and, Merlin, I see fucking stars and the _milky fucking way_ as I drop my head back to lean against the wall, allowing his mouth better access to my neck and-

'Lola? It's almost _out_! _Looooooolaaaaaaa-!'_

I'm sure Brant would have kept going if I hadn't gripped Lupin's hair and said, rather, breathlessly. 'Coming!'

'Not _yet,_ you aren't,' Lupin snipes, a smile pressed against my collarbone. I fucking _flush_ red, almost shocked at the words. I wack his shoulder and he pulls away, hands still on my waist and knee still pressed tightly between my legs. I very nearly come then and there, just _looking_ at him. His dirty blonde hair is a fucking _ruin,_ his eyes are darker than I'd ever seen them, his lips are swollen and his forehead is damp with sweat. He's a wreck, and _I'd_ done it!

He looks at me quite the same and I smile smugly, fingernails dragging lightly against his scalp as I play with his eyes. I pull my head away from the wall and bite my lips, rolling my hips forward the best I can and grinding against his erection. Lupin stutters and grips me tighter, pupils darkening deliciously-

'No _pe,'_ I pop out, hands landing on his chest as I push away from. I very nearly stumble, my drunkenness and dazed state not melding well together. 'I'm not missing my weed because of you, Remus. Let's _go'._

I stand a step higher than him, trying to act as if dragging myself away from this situation is the easiest thing in the world. He look up at me, body still facing the wall, and huffs out a disbelieving laugh. 'I'll follow you up - think if I go in there like this they're going to know _exactly_ what we were doing'. My eyes flicker down and I flush. 'Leaving me _again,_ Leola. You're a darned tease'.

I step backwards and grin before darting up the staircase. 'Uh _huh'._

I stagger up the stairs and land on a fairly long landing with seven different doorways. Aw, _Charlie_ is probably in one of them. 'Oi!' I whisper, crouching for some reason. ' _Brantley!'_

His head appears suddenly from behind a door on the left, his eyes a hot red and his mouth pulled into a very childlike frown. 'Don't call me that, you filthy whore. Now get _in_ here'. I dart forward and slip past him, suddenly hit with the very potent smell of weed and Pettigrew's manic cackles. 'Black broke Pettigrew,' Brant informs me, walking past me to the group of four boys on the floor and plucking the joint from Potter's fingers. He approaches me again. 'There you go - where's Lupin?'

I take the joint and breathe in deeply, eyeing Potter and Black (who are laughing at Pettigrew) and Endrew (who is lying flat on one of the red draped beds holding his stomach and looking slightly lost) and back to Brant (who is staring at me with that horrible, knowing look). I let the smoke pour from my mouth and give him a little smirk.

He closes his eyes and nods in approval. ' _That's_ my girl. He gonna be up in a minute?'

I move closer to him and murmur. 'Yeah. We didn't _screw,_ by the way. I know how your mind works'. I take another drag and Brant charms away the falling ash. 'Oi, Endrew. Are you okay mate? Merlin, there's _far_ too much red in here'.

He sits bolt upright and stares at me, blue eyes wide and blonde hair sticking up. 'Lola. Oh my Merlin - _Lola._ You know what these arseholes just told me? They told me Marlene McKinnon had a crush on _me_ in third year. _Me_ '.

I nod and take another drag. Oh, no. Here we go. I nod, eyes feeling heavy. 'Oh, yeah! I remember that!'

'WELL, _WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?!'_

Brant snorts and snatches the joint from my nimble fingers. 'You're already drunk,' he points out with raised eyebrows. 'I am _not_ dealing with a cracked out Lola Leola, thank you'.

'Who's cracked out?'

I suddenly feel very warm and far too stoned as Lupin steps into the room, his hair still a chaotic mess. I eye him, remembering the feel of that body pressed against mine. Mmm, _yum_. I raise my hands in the air in a confessing manner. 'Me, I'm afraid to say'.

'Wormtail - _stop!'_ gasps out Potter, clutching his face as if the amount of laughter he's producing is causing him real agony. 'Someone make him stop _laughing_ like that - he's going to _kill me!'_

'Good,' snaps Endrew, falling back to lie on the bed with a pout. 'I could have been with _Marlene McKinnon'._

'No,' pointed out Brant, plopping onto the floor beside Potter, Black and Pettigrew. 'She would have realised what a prick you are _far_ too quickly, Endrew. Sorry, mate'. He ducked at the pillow that was thrown his way and Black ceased in laughing, looking ruffled and red eyed and affronted.

'Oi - that's a _goose feather_ pillow, you pillock'.

I'm suddenly _howling_ with laughter and Potter is pointing at _me,_ begging _me_ to stop laughing as he splutters into his hands. 'I'm sorry!' I gasp, clutching my stomach and snorting into my hands. 'That was _funny_!' Thank Merlin we've got another giggler - it's normally me and me alone. I wipe my eyes and look at Lupin, who's stumbled over to a bed at the left side of the room that I assume is his. He perches on the edge of it and begins kicking off his scuffed and dirty shoes.

There's something weirdly erotic about seeing Remus Lupin in socks with holes in them that makes me feel like I've smoked a bit _too_ much.

He looks up at me and smiles and I look at him and smile and holy shit we're being _civil._ And then I start laughing again and realise I probably look a fucking wreck as I bend down to unzip my boots and kick them off my feet. I plonk down next to Black and yank the goblet of water he has in his hand and down almost all of it, my mouth feeling far too much like cotton for my liking.

'You have nice legs, Lola,' slurs Black, slapping a hand against my thigh and yanking it away quickly once I yelp. 'Oh, fuck! That was really hard I'm sorry-' Too late, Potter and I are already howling with laughter again. Brant begins yanking Endrew off of the bed and almost gives the poor guy a concussion as he topples onto the floor, head landing in Pettigrew's lap.

'Pettigrew, mate,' I splutter. 'Grab your coat, you've pulled'.

Pettigrew looks horribly baked when he looks at me, but its the comical double-take he does that has me in stitches. 'Leola, _Moony_ \- when the hell did you two get here?'

Potter is very close to having an asthma attack, at this point.

'Black, help Potter,' I laugh.

I glance over at Lupin, only to find him already looking at me. He sits on the edge of the bed facing the lot of us, elbow on his knees and hands clasped together. Finally, he actually _looks_ drunk. The bags under his eyes are heavier and the flush on his cheeks is ever present. I tuck my bare legs beneath me and smirk, cocking a brow at his level gaze. I spy out the little things surrounding his bed, from the stack of muggle looking books on his bedside table to the Gryffindor uniform hanging next to his four poster bed.

His mouth tugs up.

'Oi, Lola,' Black says, falling back onto his elbows and looking blearily up at me. His shirt has fallen down somewhat to reveal pale collarbones and I see Brant ogling at him. 'How come I'm _Black_ again - I thought we'd brushed that last name shit aside?'

'Yeah, _Lola_ ,' agreed Potter diving beneath his bed to find something or another. 'Holy shit - did you guys see Evans _dancing_ with me?'

'No one cares, Prongs,' pointed out Pettigrew. 'Just don't call me Wormtail, please,' he begged me, kicking his legs out and leaning against the bed Endrew had been sprawled across. Potter cackled. I eyed the three of them, before rolling my eyes and thinking of what Lupin - _Remus_ had said to me earlier.

Looking from James, to Sirius, to Peter, to Remus I scoff and shake my head before giving a defeated smile. 'Sorry, _Sirius_. Is that better, Princess?' _James_ punches Sirius's arm and throws a deck of Exploding Snap at him, to which Sirius yelps in weird delight and Brant offers to roll another joint and I glance over at _Remus_ and think how _nice_ it is to call him that.

He was right, anyway. Shoving your tongue down someones throat and informing them you want to fuck them _does_ condone first name basis.

* * *

 **Sorry this one's a little late - exam season and assignment submission coming up at Uni and all! Hope you liked this one - onto real Hogwarts stuff next chapter with first N.E.W.T classes and all! Review - I beg! I'm a whore for a good review.**


	5. Slytherins Do Not Slack, Remus Lupin

_A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want -_ **Madonna.**

* * *

 _September 2nd 1976._

 _8:00 AM_

* * *

When consciousness slips into my being, I want to fucking kill myself.

My head feels like polyjuice potion tastes. My right ankle aches like I'd bashed something into it hours ago. My legs feel cold and my feet are bare. My eyes feel caked with mascara. My mouth has the sour taste of alcohol that nearly has me gagging. I know these to be the symptoms of an impossibly shit hangover, but it is only made a billion times worse by the cooing voice of Sirius Black beckoning me from the sweet confines of sleep.

'Lola'. Something knocks into my aching ankle and I groan.

I curl myself deeper into what feels like a small rectangular pillow, my hair covering my face. The pillow smells like something homey and natural. 'No'.

' _Lola'._

'No. Piss off'.

Suddenly, the voice changes from Sirius's posh boy lilt, to something deeper and calmer with an edge of a northern accent. 'Lola. We have Potions in an hour and I'm pretty sure you do too'.

 _Remus._ My body suddenly feels very warm with embarrassment and horror as I realise that, yes, I _do_ have classes today and, yes, Remus Lupin is currently looking at me in this horrible state. The events of the night before come rushing back, and I remember exactly _where_ I am. I bolt upright, head swooshing and stomach whirling. _Nope._ Huh, I'm still in the sixth year Gryffindor dorms. How the hell did I manage to fall asleep _here_?

I look around and realise that I am between Sirius and James's beds, my knees drawn up and my palms pressed into the thick red carpet. Blinking blearily, I look from Sirius (who stands with his arms crossed in front of me, wearing his white uniform shirt and red and gold tie) to Remus (who sits on Sirius's bed to my left, in his school robes and eyes lingering on my bare legs). _Bugger._ I pull down my dress and watch his amber eyes dart to mine.

Oh, _Merlin._ We kissed. We fucking _dry humped._

'I think I might be dying,' I tell them very seriously, looking around the room. Black snorts and begins kicking on his shiny black shoes; his normally pristine hair is in a disarray. Potter and Pettigrew are mysteriously absent; the empty bottle of firewhiskey the only tell of the night before. 'What _time_ is it?' My voice is horribly scratchy. Fucking hell. If Remus wanted to bone me before, he probably wants to run from me now. I must look a bloody state.

'Eight,' replies Lupin, elbows resting on his knees and eyes trained on my face. He looks tired - his bags are heavy beneath his lazy amber gaze. 'Zaveri and Bandini left after you fell asleep'. A cheeky grin graces his features. 'You looked too content to disturb, didn't she, Padfoot?'

'Sure did. Not surprised, really. You were on a _roll_ last night - had Prongs on the floor laughing, you did. After the tirade of knock-knock jokes and quoting some muggle space thing, you-'

 _'Star Trek,'_ cuts in Remus, eyes still resting on my face. He knows what _Star Trek_ is? _Of course he does, you idiot. Lupin's mum is a muggle too, you know that._ I look back at him, Black's voice becoming background noise as I zero in on Lupin's lips. Merlin, I was doomed. 'You should probably get ready for classes, you know,' he says, cocking a brow at me.

Oh, fuck. It's _eight._

I swear and jump to my feet, suddenly in a panic. Black rolls his eyes and struts to their shared bathroom whilst I freak out. I _can't_ get detention on the first day back - _especially_ not from Slughorn. The guy was my Head of House and I had worked _very_ hard on charming him into liking me with my mediocre Potions skills. I was quite sure that the only reason I passed most of my essays last year was because I'd managed to make the moustached man fond of my wit and charm.

'Shitting _shit_ \- where the fuck is my other boot?'

Black barges out of the bathroom, is hair styled and swept to rest just above his shoulders. He looks idly from my wild hair to my one booted leg before smiling magnificently. 'I think Wormtail was wearing it after you passed out - might be on his bed'. He pulls a face at this. 'Oi, Moony, help her find her boot and give her some of that potion Prongs bought. I'm going to breakfast - ciao, bitches'.

I ignore his departure quite happily, instead choosing to yank the zip up on my one boot. 'How the fuck am I this hungover and why the fuck was I talking about _Star Trek_ \- I can't _believe_ Brant and Endrew left me in _Gryffindor_ Tower those _arseholes._ Where the fuck's my wand-?'

'You say fuck a lot, you know'.

I straighten up and turn to see Remus holding both my boot and my Dogwood wand. There's a lazy smile on his face and I note, quite suddenly, how the way he says fuck makes my stomach pool with heat. 'The situation calls for it,' I mumble, giving him a swift glare and snatching my wand from his right hand and stuffing it into the pocket of my dress.

I start suddenly as he moves, eyes widening and cheeks flushing. 'What are you-?'

I watch, in utter awe, as Remus Lupin falls awkwardly to his knees in front of me and curls his scarred fingers around my bare ankle. He's warm and I'm cold and I want to fucking _die._ _What the fuck. What the fuck._ All snappy comebacks and profanities die in my throat as I lift my leg to match his movements and watch as he slips the boot onto my foot. I practically fucking _spasm_ when his fingers dart up with the zip that ends at my knees. He holds my legs for a moment, his cheeks slightly pink and his finger tips brushing against my bare lower thigh.

 _Holy moley._

'That was-that was very fucking _gallant_ of you, Remus,' I splutter, heart practically banging against my chest when those lazy amber eyes meet mine from his crouched position. Brant would be on the bloody floor laughing if he could see me now, and I can see from the look on Remus's face that he feels stupid. Merlin, if only he knew how fucking erotic the look of him crouching in front of me in his uniform was.

I breathe out as he straightens up, his chin coming level with the top of my head.

He smirks suddenly, the pink fading from his lightly scarred cheekbones. 'You're very fucking welcome, Lola. We _are_ on first name basis then? That's good'. He peers at me, light brown eyes narrowing. I stare up at him, far too hungover and far too sleepy for these kinds of shenanigans. Lupin smirks down at me and cocks a brow. 'I can safely say you've missed breakfast'.

I start, remembering exactly why I had been hurrying. 'Oh, _fuck!'_ Remus laughs as I gather up my small bag. 'Oh, _Merlin,'_ I moan. 'Now I've got to do the walk of shame in this bloody thing. And from _Gryffindor Tower,_ of all places'. I gesture down at my little black dungaree dress and groan. 'I must look a bloody wreck. God dammit'. I make for the door, nearly tripping over in those bloody boots.

'You don't,' Remus pipes up, and I stop short to stare at him. He blinks before shaking his head, as if shaking the words away from him. 'Uh, anyway. Borrow one of my jumpers, if you'd, um, like. To walk to the dungeons in, I mean. Not that you don't look good like that, of course'. He coughs into his fist before striding on long legs across the dormitory and yanking open a draw next to his bed.

I watch him in bemusement and note the slight tinge of pink on the ends of his ears.

What an odd fucking morning.

After a few seconds of me standing there watching him like a lemon, Remus turns sharply on his heels and strides toward me, dirty blonde hair a beautiful mess atop his head. Wordlessly, he thrusts a ruby red jumper out toward me. I note with some kind of familiarity the hole that seems to don one of the sleeves. Taking the jumper from him slowly, I cock a brow and say, 'You chose red on purpose, didn't you?'

Remus can only smile smugly in return.

That smiles quickly turns into a blank stare as I yank on the jumper and flatten out my frizz of dark hair with frantic fingers. The sleeves are far too long for me and the hem of the jumper comes to my mid-thigh. My black dress pokes out from beneath. I am suddenly basked in the scent of something warm and crisp, like baking and wet spring leaves mixed into one. I look up at him and he looks down at me and, fuck, I really want to kiss him again.

'Last night was _fun_ ,' I say suddenly. I blink and shake my head, whereas Remus just straightens up and smirks in a way that I'm sure Black taught him to. 'No. Shit. Forget I said that. No time for that right now, I'm going to be _so_ late for Potions'. I start again for the door and hug the jumper closer to my form. 'Thanks, Remus. See you in Potions - be a good Prefect and give Slughorn a good excuse for my lateness, will you?' He starts to say my name as I back out of the room, starting for something behind him. 'No time, Lupin! Oh, and if you and Black tell anyone about my slight lapse in Slytherin scariness, I'll wring your neck!'

* * *

I almost throw up twice on the way to the dungeons, run into Emma Vanity and the rest of my lovely Housemates (where they hurl insults at me and sneer at my jumper), am forced to keep my last nights make-up on, nearly run down a herd of second year Hufflepuffs as I'm still doing up my green and silver tie, and run into Potions exactly sixteen minutes late.

I'm my opinion, that's still pretty fucking impressive.

Slughorn's voice booms from the head of the classroom the moment I dart into the room, my heavy bag swinging against my side. The class consisting of Gryffindors, Slytherins and Ravenclaws stares back at me, but Brant's heavily amused look and Edith's slight tut are the most obvious of them all. Endrew, on the other hand, looks as if he might be dying. I flash Slughorn my most apologetic smiles, attempting to make myself as small as possible to hide the fact that I was absolutely _hanging._

'Sorry, Professor-' I start, walking carefully into the room. Vanity and Bulstrode share a look and roll their eyes at me, a sneer donning Vanity's pointed little face. I flash my eyes away from her.

Slughorn waves his arms, as if pushing away my excuse. 'Do not worry, my dear! Mr Lupin has already informed me of your mix up with your brother. I am quite glad to see you here - do come over!'

I dart my gaze over to Lupin, but he's staring solidly at Slughorn with a smug little smile on his face.

I give a frozen smile and nod, pushing past Vanity and Bulstrode to join Brant, Endrew and Edith. As Slughorn begins is speech once again, I lean froward a little and catch Lupin's gaze, offering a thankful smile. He just cocks a brow at me and smiles slightly in return and, shit, my stomach feels like fucking goo and glitter. Looking away, I glance up to Brant whose chest is pressed against my back and his amused eyes stare down at me.

'I can't believe you left me,' I mutter, quiet enough to not be heard over Slughorn's booming voice. He's gesturing wildly to a steaming cauldron in front of him - one that I know to be the Elixir to Induce Euphoria, due to its sunshine yellow colouring. 'I had to wake up to Sirius Black's smug little face-'

' _Hey!'_ comes an affronted little whisper from behind Brant, and I scoff as I see Black's pale, pretty face over my best friend's shoulder. 'Rude...' he mutters, as James potter pats him on the back and winks when Lily Evans catches his gaze. I'm sure I'm not the only one that notes the way in which Severus Snape glowers from behind the both of them, his hooked nose practically letting off steam.

'You will find the instructions to this complicated and fascinating potion in Chapter Eleven of your copies of _Advanced Potion Making!_ Partner up and get on with it - you have the whole lesson!' Slughorn claps his hands with that finale, a large smile resting beneath his bushy moustache. Always creeped me out, that moustache. Something about it just _screams_ 'I will steal your children'.

Not that he _would_. Slughorn is one of the few Slytherin's I actually _like._

I, apparently, am not the only one suffering from a hangover. Although Potter, Black and Lupin seem utterly _fine,_ Brant, Edith, Endrew and the six other Gryffindor's and Ravenclaw's in the room seem to be suffering quite a bit. Brant ducks his head to hit out desk and mutters, 'I thought I was dead this morning, I really did'.

I glare at him as Edith and Endrew begin arguing about who will stir their potion from the table behind us. 'At least you didn't have to wake up _alone -_ I looked a fucking wreck-!'

'No change there. Are you wearing your make up from last night? You absolute state, Lola'.

I wack him solidly with my copy of _Advanced Potion Making._

'Ow! _Oh, shit_. Lupin _totally_ had your back, by the way. Said you had to go and hunt down your brother because he accidentally packed your copy of _Advanced Potion Making_ in his trunk'. He sprinkles some peppermint sprigs into the bubbling potions and it turns a murky orange colour. Brant's dark eyes peer at me as I stare dumbly back at him. 'You're fucking blushing. This is actually kind of creeping me out, Lola. I've never seen you blush this much-'

'Shut the fuck up,' I grumble, glaring down at the scratched table top. I see the faintly etched words _Wormtail was here '94_ and roll my eyes. 'I should thank him. That's what people do, right?'

Brant rolls his eyes. 'You're an emotionless bint sometimes, you know that? _Yes,_ you should thank him'. He watches the potion bubble for a moment before rubbing his eyes. 'I feel horrendous. Threw up three times in the Marauders bathroom. Endrew could barely walk back to Ravenclaw Tower, I had to practically _carry_ him- Merlin, what's _that_ look for?'

I'm hardly listening, but only because I've seen that Lupin has paired up with Lily Evans and the two are laughing away, heads ducked together over their potion that is already turning a lovely shade of dark purple. Something curls within my stomach - something angry and ugly and very, very Slytherin.

Brant nudges me in the side. 'You're staring, Princess,' he scolds lightly. 'Quit being such a freak. Merlin, I feel bad for the guy, you know. I've never seen you fancy someone and you're already becoming a possessive little freak. You Slytherin's really are mental. Stop _glaring_ at them, Leola! Evans _obviously_ fancies the pants of off Potter, she'll just never admit it. Anyway, how was it with Lupin this morning?'

I scrub the glare from my face and settle for a blank, disinterested look as I turn back to Brant. 'Fine. Rushed. He gave me his red jumper to walk back to the dungeons in, which was... _nice'._

'Red? That's funny. Good man'.

'Not _funny._ Vanity, Bulstrode, Nott and that started shouting at me the moment I got to the Common Room - calling me a _traitor_ and whatnot. Do you now the password for the Common Room is _Mudblood_ today? I fucking hate my House sometimes,' I murmur quietly, tugging on my green and silver tie. 'Hey, apparently I was shouting about _Star Trek_ last night?'

Someone suddenly knocks into our table and I jump, coming face to face with a messy haired James Potter. 'You did,' he grins, hazel eyes far too bright and happy. _How_ are they not dying for this hangover? 'I don't know what in Merlin's name that is, but it sounded great. And those knock-knock jokes'. He gives me an approving look. 'We could make a Marauder out of you yet, Leola'.

'No fucking thank you'.

'Suit yourself,' he shrugs. 'Did Moony give you the Hangover Potion? By the looks of you, I'm gonna say _no_ -'

' _Hangover Potion?'_ both Brant and I say at the same time. Brant's hand lingers over the potion, a curious look on his face. 'No, he did _not_ ,' I shoot back, cocking a dark brow. 'And now I want to _murder_ him'.

'Lovely!' chirps Potter. 'Now, best get back to Padfoot. Our Potion is starting to turn black- even Slughorn is pretty perplexed by it,' he says happily. 'Later!' With that he turns quickly on his heel and bounds over to his table, just two in front of Remus and Evans.

'Hangover Potion,' I utter, turning to look at Brant.

' _How_ have we never thought of that?' he replies, a stumped look on his handsome face.

'Because all that weed has numbed your brain,' says Edith calmly from behind us. I turn and catch the teasing look in her wide blue eyes, noting that she looks just slightly less dead than the rest of us. 'I hear your slept in Gryffindor Tower last night, Lola. How _was_ that?'

I huff and turn to the twins and put on my most devastated look. 'Terrible. Your brother and Brant left me alone, Edith'.

Endrew cowers under Edith's disapproving look. 'Wait until I tell mum that you left a poor girl in a room full of strange boys, 'Drew. That wasn't very nice of you at all, you know'.

'She's not a _poor girl_ \- she's _Lola!'._

Edith merely shakes her head and sprinkles some porcupine quills into her yellowing cauldron. 'Although, Frank Longbottom _did_ say that he tried to go to bed at some point, but couldn't because there was a couple on the staircase practically, he said, _doing the deed._ I don't suppose you now anything about that, Lola?' The twins pair of light blue eyes twinkle back at me, and I flush and turn away. My Slytherin pride is being beaten quite a fucking lot today, isn't it?

'Nothing,' I snap back, turning to mine and Brant's potion. Still a dark orange - brilliant.

Brant snorts and then looks just beyond the top of my head. As I flick through the pages of _Advanced Potion Making,_ he peers into the cauldron and sighs. 'Looks like we're gonna need more wormwood to make it yellow. Lola, go to the ingredients store, will you?'

'Why can't _you?'_

'Do _you_ want to be left with the potion?'

Grumbling, I shuffle across the room and nearly bump into a sour looking Snape. Sharing a disdainful look with my Housemate, I am _then_ tripped over by his Potion partner. _Bulstrode._ Her ugly sneer darkens as she retracts her leg, to which I flip her the bird and start on my way again. Potter and Black stop me once and beg for me to tell one of the jokes that had caused James to nearly wet himself the night before. Much to their distress, I have no fucking memory of what they are talking about.

'You know that Anita one!' pushes Black, tie lose and shirt unbuttoned. The bloody Anita joke. Of _course_ they liked that one. Ugh, I'm far too hungry and tired for this shit.

I stare blankly back at him and Potter. _Purebloods._ 'Knock, knock'.

'Who's there?' asks James excitedly. I note Lily Evans half listening as she stirs her potion clockwise, her dark red hair pushed behind one ear.

'Anita,' I drawl, trying hard to fight the smile pushing its way onto my face. There's something quite cute about watching to Pureblood wizards practically piss themselves with excitement over a knock knock joke. Oh, Merlin. Did I just think one half of the Marauders to be _cute?_

'Anita _who?'_ Black practically falls off his bloody chair.

'Anita a dick inside me,' I deadpan, voice low as to not alert Slughorn of my dirty joke telling. James practically _howls_ with laughter as Sirius splutters with snorts into his palm. 'It's not _that_ funny,' I say, half wanting to laugh at their childish antics. I nearly pass out from shock when I see the amused look Evans throws over her shoulder at me.

The fuck?

Deciding that their laughter was not going to die down any time soon, I turn on my heel and and slip into the ingredients closet, nearly having a fucking heart attack when I see someone already crouched on the floor, sandy hair sticking up-

'Remus!' I stutter. Merlin, I'm slow today. How is it only first period? 'Merlin, you scared me. You need a collar or something-'

He stands straight, a pile of wormwood in his palm and a bemused look on his face. There's that light covering of stubble on his chin and a tiredness to his eyes that seems just a little intense. I peer at him, almost concerned. _Almost_.

He seems far too amused, like I was missing something important. 'Would a collar with a bell do, Leola?'

I am stumped for a moment before my Slytherin takes over and a cocky smiles graces my features. 'If you're into that kind of thing - _go_ for it, Lupin'.

He laughs, eyes crinkling and trained on my face and I fucking blush again. Is this flirting? I mean, fuck, I _know_ flirting. I've flirted with plenty of guys and girls in my sixteen years, but this was _different._ I was less sure of myself and all I could think about was how his body had felt pressed against mine. This was _Remus Lupin,_ for Merlin's sake. The quietly mischievous marauder who made sarcastic comments and rolled his eyes a lot and had the _best_ comebacks to my snappy remarks.

I'm having a normal conversation with Remus Lupin. I haven't threatened to castrate him and he hasn't called me an annoying Slytherin. So far, this is going much better than all our other conversations.

'Oh!' I start suddenly, moving beside him to pick out some wormwood. He shifts to make room for me and I am struck by that scent of a wet spring day. Who the fuck even _smells_ like a wet spring day? 'Potter - _James_ said something about a Hangover Potion? You forgot to mention _that_ this morning, didn't you?' I give him a reprimanding look.

Lupin shrugs and grins and fiddles with the wormwood in his palm. 'Forgot. I was distracted by the tangle on top of your head. Bloody scared it was going to attack, I was - I see you've tamed it'. He reaches forward with his free hand and touches the end of the braid that rests on the curve of my breast. I just about flood my basement. The air suddenly feels very thick.

'Attempted to,' I shoot back, eyes hovering on the expanse of his neck. I wanna kiss him _right there._

Remus pulls away suddenly, a light smile adorning his scarred face. My braid falls uselessly against my chest. 'Better get back to my potion - Lily doesn't take slackers too well, as I'm sure you'll know'.

'Are you calling me a _slacker?_ Slytherin's do not _slack,_ Remus Lupin'.

'I'm sure they don't, Lola Leola'.

I blink at him, the smile on my face turning slightly uncomfortable. 'Thank you, by the way. For lying to Slughorn. Pretty smart lie, if I do say so myself. _Very_ Slytherin of you, Remus'.

He pretends to look mildly offended. 'How dare you'.

'Leola, Lupin - can you two please stop this pathetic attempt at flirting and get out of my way?' My gaze zeros in on the sharp and annoyingly pretty face of Emma Vanity as she stands in the doorway and my stomach curls with anger. 'Don't tell me _this_ is who that terrible red jumper belonged to, you filthy little muggle-lover-'

'Hey, Vanity, how does it feel to know that your parents love a snake-human hybrid more than they'll ever love you?' shoots back Remus, an ever-so-slightly bored tone tinging his voice. I turn to him, open mouth forming into one of my top ten biggest smiles. Remus grabs my arm and pushes passed the stunned Emma Vanity and out into the classroom. 'I shouldn't have said that,' he murmurs, running a hand threw is hair.

'You should have,' I nodded dumbly, staring at him with what Edith liked to call _heart eyes._ 'That was beautiful. Brilliant. I wish I could have taken a picture of the look on her face'.

He laughs on his way back this desk, where as I stumble dumbly back to Brant. Dumping the wormwood onto the table, I swallow and turn to him and feel very...very _funny_ all of a sudden.

'You're right,' I croak, slightly aghast with the... _emotions_ whirling inside of me.

'What?' Brant grunts, leaning over the steaming potions and sprinkling the wormwood into its depths. It lightens quite suddenly; a beautiful sunshine yellow shining from the battered old cauldron.

'I fancy him,' I mutter, a horrified look dawning my face. 'I _really_ fucking fancy him, dude'.

* * *

 **I'm back! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year! The next chapter will focus a lot more on Lola and her friends, whereas this one was a lot of Lola/Remus. To those who want a slow burner, don't you worry. All seems well a good now, I know ;) Thank you for the reviews, keep 'em coming!**


	6. Too Hungover For This Tirade Of Shit

_Whatever you do, be different – that was the advice my mother gave me, and I can't think of better advice for an entrepreneur. If you're different, you will stand out_ – **Anita Roddick.**

* * *

 _September 2nd 1976._

 _2:30 PM_

* * *

What the fuck is the point in a free period if none of your friends have one too?

This was the only thought currently spinning through my mind as I attempt to start my stupid bloody Charms essay that Flitwick had set myself and the Ravenclaws I shared the class with. Unlike Potions, more students had passed their Charms O.W.L with an _Exceeds Expectations_ and therefore only two Houses were allowed per-class.

And I was _not_ fucking disappointed that Slytherins and Gryffindors did not share the class - not matter _what_ Edith says.

 _The Draught of Living Death is a complex and dangerous potion._ Merlin, how long had it taken me to write that one sentence? Ugh, technically this _was_ my last period of the day and considering it was a _free_ one I could _technically_ go back to my dorm. Then again, Vanity and her _Bitches_ of Eastwick (Merlin, I'm funny) would probably be spread about the dorm and I wasn't quite in the mood to face them yet.

I was still dreadfully fucking hungover.

Sighing and deciding that there was no point in beginning the essay without my Ravenclaw buddies there, I pushed the parchment into my bag and instead retracted a smaller, blanker piece. Knowing Charlie, he had probably forgotten to write to mum and dad at all _or_ had ignored their letters. Not that _I'd_ been sent one. _Note to self: ask Charlie at dinner if mum and dad have wrote him._

Brandishing my quill, I begin scrawling in my bubbly, embarrassing handwriting.

 _Dear mum (and dad, if you bother to take yourself away from the television to read this - and don't use the excuse that it will help with your job. You work in the Muggle Liaison Office, that does not condone sitting on your arse watching Doctor Who repeats)._

 _Charlie's in Gryffindor! Dad, I'm sure you're super happy. Mum, I'm sure you don't care because you love the both of us regardless of our House (cough, dad, cough). I never would have clocked him to be in that House, but I guess it'll bring out the best in him. Just like how Slytherin only enhanced my sarcasm and thirst to succeed no matter who I push over on my way to that top._

 _That was a joke._

 _Brant said we're now a less exciting version of the Black's, with one Gryffindor and one Slytherin. I thought you'd find that funny, dad._

 _I haven't been hexed yet and I've already started my first essay (N.E.W.T's suck, by the way) on Charms. Edith and Endrew and Brant are thankfully in most of my classes, minus Astronomy. I doubt many people will be in that class, in all honesty. You'll be pleased to know that I have broadened my inter-House friendships and have befriended some Gryffindors. Figured it would help in keeping an eye on Charlie (who's made a friend by the way!)_

 _Anyway, there's currently some creepy first year Slytherin staring at me across the library table, so I'm gonna go and see what the hell he wants._

 _All my love to the moon the stars and back,_

 _Lo._

Calmly putting away my scroll into my robes and my ink pot and quill into my bag, I gather the ruddy thing into my arms and settle back into my chair, staring calmly back at the Asian boy sitting across from me. He has spiky looking hair that reminds me of Potter's and sharp eyes that seemed to be studying every inch of my face. His green and silver snake emblem glares back at me.

'Can I help you, kid?'

'Slughorn and Dumbledore seem to think so,' he shoots back, a lilt of a Scottish accent tinging his speech.

The staring continues.

'Are you going to elaborate on that, or...?' I cock a brow at him, suddenly, wondering if this is some kind of planned attack from my fellow Housemates. The first years normally started shouting insults at me around Easter when they'd settled into the school and gotten cocky.

'I'm a mudblood and everyone hates me. They said I should talk to _you_ because you could help me settle in,' he replies blandly, crossing his arms and huffing out a small sigh. I note the bags under his eyes with sudden interest. _Yeah, I remember not getting a lot of sleep on my first night either. That's when the insults started._ 'Does that mean you're a mudblood too?'

I throw him an annoyed look, surprisingly stumped. 'Merlin, kid, don't call yourself that!' I snap, glancing around to check there was no one near by. Unlikely - this was where Fabian used to drag me when we were doing the deed. It was the deadest part of the library. Collecting myself, I peer at him. 'Dumbledore told you to talk to _me_?' _Old man has gone fucking barmy._ The kid nods.

'You _are_ Lola Leola, right?'

I nodded slowly. 'Yeah, kid. What's your name?'

'Jone Chang'.

I bite my lip. 'That Korean or something?'

He gives me a withering look. Christ, for an eleven year old this kid was _intense._ I fucking _loved_ it. 'Chinese. _Racist_ ,' he shoots back and I grin, holding up my hands. ' _Everyone_ does that,' he grumbles, slouching in his seat. I continue to look at him, taking in the smallness of him and the tiredness of his gaze. 'I don't even _look_ Korean'.

Feeling reprimanded, I nod. 'Sorry, dude. Look, I get why Dumbledore sent you my way, okay? I'm a halfblood and my mum's a muggle, so I basically get hexed and shouted at on a daily basis by our delightful Housemates'. I shrug and pull my bag closer to my chest. 'What the hell do you want me to do, though? They don't _listen_ to me. The best you can do is ignore them and act like they can't touch you. That's what I do'. I shrug once again.

Jone Chang stares at me. 'They just call me a mudblood all the time. I _hate_ sleeping in that dorm. It was horrible last night'. The words are quiet, as if admitting them is a weakness. 'You're a sixth year - how do you get used to not having friends and everyone hating you-?'

I snort - loudly. 'Kid, I have a friends a-plenty. All that bollocks about sticking with people in your House is just that - bollocks. My three best friends are Ravenclaws and I have the hots for a bloody Gryffindor. We Slytherins are ambitious, cunning and know how the hell to preserve our safety. Ever heard that safety is more guaranteed in numbers? I'm sure in the Sorting Song it said something along the lines of looking out for our own, right?' He nods. 'Well, quit thinking of your own as your Slytherin classmates. _My_ own are the dumbest Ravenclaws you'll ever meet. Make your own people, okay? I'm not saying that every single person in our House is a Blood Purist piece of shit, I'm just saying that _most_ of them are'.

He blinks. 'Oh'. He blinks again. 'I guess I can see why Dumbledore wanted me to talk to you. You're scary'. He grins. 'None of the boys in my year will mess with me when they know you're my friend!'

My mouth snaps open in shock. _Friends?_ _I am too hungover for this tirade of shit._ But then I start thinking. I start thinking about his parents - do they want to go through what my parents went through; getting letters every other day about their daughter being hexed? No, probably not. So, instead of laughing in the kids face and heading up to the Owlery, I sigh and throw my hands in the air. 'Sure - I'm your _friend,_ Jone. Now, do you wanna come with to deliver this letter, or what?'

Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I watch as he collects himself from his chair and looks at me expectantly. 'C'mon,' I grumble. We're halfway down the hallway outside the library when he speaks again.

'The Sorting Hat said I could do great things in Slytherin, but how? I'm a mud-' I give him a sharp look. 'Sorry. It's just what they call me. I'm a _muggleborn_. I can't exactly do great in a House that hates me. Why didn't it put me in Ravenclaw?'

'Did it mention Ravenclaw too?' I ask, popping a mint into my mouth from the depths of my robes.

He nods slowly, apprehensive. 'Is that normal?'

'Oh, yeah. Sure. My best friend _nearly_ got placed in Slytherin. Bummer that he didn't'. I breath in deeply and look down at his worried face and think horribly of Charlie. How do I make this kid feel like he belongs? Because, really, I love the traits that come with my house. The people, on the other hand, can suck a dick. I roll my eyes. 'It wanted to place me in Hufflepuff at first,' I grumble, cheeks reddening.

Jone hurries to walk beside me. 'Really?'

I grunt a yes. 'That's pretty much the polar opposite of Slytherin, kid. Trust me, you belong in Slytherin and that's that. Fuck anyone else who says different'. I give him a sharp look. 'You'll only tell Dumbledore the clean, bad-word free version of what I've said to you, right?'

He nods with a wicked grin. _Yeah,_ I decide. _I like this kid._

As we pass the Ancient Runes classroom, I hear the scrape of chairs and glance up to see Lily Evans push her long hair over her shoulder and give me a small nod and as she exits the room. Momentarily stunned by her kindness, I give her a small nod in return. Her sharp green eyes look from myself to Jone before she hurries down the corridor, skirt swishing in her wake.

'You're friends with Gryffindors?' Jone asks. 'I thought they _hated_ us-'

I scoff. 'They hate us because we're better than them at most things. Our slight bend of the rules seems to offend their bloody _morals_ and _chivalry_ most of the time. Though, my brothers a Gryffindor, so I don't suppose I can be _too_ mean-' I stop short as Sirius Black suddenly comes into view, arms crossed and a disappointing look on his pretty face.

'Why do you _continuously_ wound me, Lola?'

I snort into my hand and glance down at Jone before looking back at Black. 'Sorry. Didn't realise there were delicate ears nearby, Black. Oh, bloody hell. _Sirius_ , then!' I scoff at his pleased look. 'Where's your other half?'

Sirius shrugs with an eye roll. 'Wanted to get to the Common Room early to try and catch his _darling_ Lily. Oi, what are you doing with a first year anyway?' He peers again. 'A first year _Slytherin,_ eh? Blimey, Lola, have you finally lost the plot - gonna throw yourself and him from the Astronomy Tower in protest of all the hexes and-'

'You're gonna freak him out!' I snap. Jone's stares back at me with a bored look and sighs. 'Or not. He is my grasshopper,' I announce.

'Your bloody what?'

I stumble. Bloody Purebloods and their lack of muggle knowledge. 'You know - my _protege_. My apprentice'. Making sure that Jone cannot see my face, I mouth _muggleborn_ to Sirius, hoping that he will get the gist of the situation. Black's eyes widen in understanding before he grins down at Jone, teeth white and straight. It's no wonder Brant was crushing so bloody hard on the guy.

'I _see._ You know, I thought I was going to have to break the news to Moony that you'd found yourself a toyboy, you cradle-snatcher, you,' he winked gleefully at me, whilst I stuttered and shake my head. _Bloody Sirius Black._ 'A Gryffindor and a Slytherin, how-'

'Padfoot, what are you doing? Stop terrorising the first years for five seconds, will you-? Oh, hey, Lola'. _Merlin, please let him not have heard any of that._ Remus Lupin emerges from the Ancient Runes classroom a little late - _of course he does fucking Ancient Runes -_ his scruffy brown shoulder bag thrown over his chest. He nodded at me, a small smile on his face. Odd, how a year ago I'd barely spoken to him. He would only stand behind Potter and Black as the two praised me for my pranks and hexes I sent to my fellow Slytherins. What had changed last year to make him start paying attention to me at that bloody Gryffindor party?

'Remus,' I nodded, offering an equally friendly smile. 'This is Jone. Jone is-' My little friend? Merlin, I wasn't good at being a softie on the best of days, and Sirius Black was looking _far_ too gleeful that I had a little first year friend.

'He's Loopy Lola's _protege._ Turns out the Slytherin Sociopath has a heart after all-'

I cock a brow at him. 'I'm surprised you know what a sociopath _is,_ Sirius'. Snorting at his affronted look, I shake my head and begin to back away, my hand on Jone's shoulder. 'Anyway, we're off to the owlery. See you later, losers'. I salute the both of them, noting the slow nod and smile Remus shoots me. Blushing, I stumble a little as I turn on my heel. Once we've rounded the corner, Jone decides to pipe up.

'Why are they friends with you?'

'Thanks, Jone,' I mumble, adjusting the strap of my bag.

He shakes his head and hops up the owlery steps with me, dodging the splodges of bird poop with ease. 'No, not like that. I mean, I thought Gryffindors _really_ hated Slytherins, and vice versa. I know who _they_ are. The Marauders, right?' His dark eyes blink up at me when I glance at him. 'A girl in the year above said they pranked people a lot and that Sirius Black was a...blood traitor? Maybe they're _pranking_ you-'

I stop short at the top of the owlery staircase, narrowly missing a tirade of owl shit. _A prank?_ I glare down at him. 'They wouldn't dare'.

Jone shrugs. 'That's what happened to a girl at my Primary School. This boy, Aiden, pretended he liked her and then dumped a load of porridge on her lap when they ate lunch together. I think it was because she stole his Rubik's Cube or something'. He shrugs and stares back up at me, little mouth pulled into an innocent frown, as if he did not know the tirade of _shit_ that suddenly exploded in my mind.

 _What if they're fucking pranking me? What if Lupin is doing this as some fucking joke? Tame the fucking shrew and all that. No, don't be an idiot. He wouldn't dare. I'd skin them all alive - they know that._

'Merlin, you're really making me feel good here, Jone,' I snipe, pulling my parchment from my pocket and attaching it quickly to a brown barn owl. 'Real confidence booster, you are. Remind me why I agreed to be your buddy again?'

He grins and I note that he has a slight chip in his front tooth. Stupid, annoying, cute kid. 'Because I am _delightful_ , Lola'.

'You're annoying, that's what you are. Come on, dinner will be served soon and it might be nice to actually have a conversation with someone whilst I eat. You know what - my brother is a Gryffindor. I can introduce you to him sometime'. As we descend the winding staircase, I raise my brows at him. 'How does that sound? We halfblood/muggleborn rebels have just _gotta_ keep breaking the rules, you know'.

He babbles on about some television series he will miss whilst he's away, and how his mother had fainted when McGonagall had turned up at their front door. Meanwhile, my head is full of the embarrassing possibility that the Marauders are playing some kind of a very cruel and odd joke on the worst Slytherin to ever grace the corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

* * *

'Got yourself a boyfriend finally, Leola? Didn't know you liked them so young'.

I glare down the table at Emma Vanity and her hoard of haughty looking bitches. Swallowing my pumpkin juice, I smile sweetly. 'You know, I sometimes think I'd like to see things from your point of view, Emma. Thing is, I can't seem to get my head _that_ far up my ass'. I note with utter glee the very near impressed looks of Rabastan Lestrange and what appears to be his first year little brother. They share the same beady little black eyes and sallow skin.

Vanity practically _spits_ her next words across the table. 'You and that filthy little _mudblood_ are a tarnish on this House'.

Jone stiffens beside me, his glare just as a furious as mine. This makes me _all kinds_ of happy. 'Not quite as bad as the tarnish on your skin - is that a growing blemish I see, Vanity? You ought not stress yourself out anymore. We could have a complete _outbreak_ on our hands if we're not careful'. With that, I turn my back entirely on her and face Jone instead. 'Ignore her,' I mumble. 'She's hated me since I turned her hair pink in second year'.

He shrugs. 'I am'. Pushing his half filled plate of chicken noodles away from him, he sighs and climbs to his feet. Well, he's mastered the art of pretending it doesn't bother him well. 'You don't _have_ to hang out with me, you know'. I nearly snort. _Yes I fucking do, because the moment we walked in here Dumbledore gave me that twinkly eyed proud look and Slughorn fucking nodded at me. We're both trapped, kid._

I shrug and gulp down my juice. 'Well, I want to. I'm gonna talk to my brother anyway, kid. Chill out'.

He nods. 'Well, okay'. Puffing out his chest, he straightens his chin out and gives me a nod far too serious for an eleven year old. I hide my smile behind my goblet. 'I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast, then. I have a Potions essay I want to finish by tomorrow. Bye, Lola'. Ah, I miss the days of first year seeming stressful.

I waggle my fingers at him. 'Later, Jone'.

The moment he leaves the Great Hall, I push myself from the Slytherin table and give Slughorn a cheeky grin as I approach the Ravenclaw one. Brant and Edith are practically gaping at me the moment I arrive. 'Don't give me that fucking look,' I grumble, crossing my arms as they stare up at me. 'I'm being a fucking good member of society. He's muggleborn - he needs someone to look out for him in that snake pit'.

'...And that's going to be _you?'_ Brant asks, pointing at me with his fork. ' _You?_ As in, Lola Leola, the bad ass _lone_ wolf of Slytherin. _You?'_

'I'm going to punch you in the bloody throat in a minute, Brantley'. He shrug. 'He's a cool kid. I like him'. Brant shrugs whilst Edith giggles into her hand, pale eyebrows raised. 'Don't you start, Edith'.

She rolls her pretty blue eyes. 'It's nice, is all. I'm happy to see you're finally allowing others to see how sweet you can be, Lola. Francis has been saying for ages how surprisingly nice you are'. She offers a sweet smile before turning to her boyfriend and pecking him on the cheek.

I grimace out a smile, before taking her distraction as an opportunity to whisper to Brant. Ducking into a crouch, I grab his arm and tug his head level with mine. 'Look, I - wait, where's Endrew?'

Brant scoffs. 'Detention. He started making two mandrakes _make out_ with each other in Herbology. It was pretty fucking funny'.

Deciding I have no reply for that, I continue. 'Okay, well. Look. Right. This is fucking dumb and I know an _eleven_ year old said this to me, but it's...I mean it's not exactly a bloody secret that I'm bad with my... _emotions'._ The word slithers from my tongue. I grimace whilst Brant stares blankly at me. 'What I mean to say is...well, Jone said that maybe the Marauders are pranking me with this whole Lupin thing-'

'Who the fuck is _Jone?'_

'The kid!' I point madly to the Great Hall doorway. '...It seems like a strong possibility, anyway. Right? He started paying attention to me _so_ out of nowhere...'

Brant stares at me for exactly ten seconds, and I begin to feel like even more of a bloody idiot. Since when was I so insecure about the attention of another guy, _especially_ Remus Lupin? It was an insult to everything I had _built_ myself to be - I prided myself on the fact that I didn't give a _shit_ what people thought of me or did to me. 'Okay,' he says finally, turning more in his seat to face my crouched form. The other Ravenclaws buzz with talk around us, drowning out our conversation. 'Look, Lola. Merlin,' he rubs a hand over his face. 'This is so cringe. You're my _best friend,_ okay? The mere fact that you're doubting yourself so much - something of which I have _never_ seen you do - pretty much tells me that you _like_ Lupin. Merlin knows why, of course. He's weedy and tall and has the messiest bloody hair...though I suppose he has that rugged, drugged up look going pretty well...'

'I'm a _Slytherin,_ though _-'_

Brant rolls his eyes and the words die in my throat. 'You're fit. You're funny. You take shit from no one. You're probably the most liberal Slytherin to ever live - why _wouldn't_ he like you?'

I stutter. 'Who said he _likes_ me? He just wants to bone me-'

'You're so fucking dim sometimes. If he was playing a prank on you to try and seduce to the evil Slytherin, would he really be staring at you as much as he does?' Brant nods over my head and I turn just in time to see a startled Remus Lupin look suddenly down at his plate.

'It's something they'd do,' I mutter, yanking at the sleeve of my robes as I turn back to Brant.

'It is, and I'm not gonna say this isn't some weird Marauder thing,' agrees Brant. 'And if they are, I will personally pummel Lupin into the ground. Okay?'

I smile up at him. 'Okay'. We stare at each other. 'Well, that was fucking pansy of us. Thanks, man'. I clap him on the knee and rise steadily to my feet and adjust the length of my skirts. Brant scoffs an turns back to his food. 'Meet you in the library at six? I've gotta go and convince my little Gryffindor brother to befriend a Slytherin'.

'Whatever, Loopy. See you later'.

As it turns out, Charlie is having _none_ of this 'befriend a Slytherin' bullshit. Huh. That sounds pretty good, actually. Maybe I should make a charity that sets up Slytherins destined for evil with lovely pudgy Hufflepuffs and stupidly moral Gryffindors. Not Ravenclaws - they corrupt more than they can help. Don't let the wit and books fool you.

'Charlie Leola - _stop_ being such a brat!' I push myself into the seat next to him, practically throwing poor Elliot from his seat. A mousy haired Abbott sits across from me, his brown eyes wide and amused. 'You're supposed to be the _sweet_ one out of the two of us - can I _help_ you?' I snap to Abbott, to which he quickly turns red and glares down at his plate.

'Stop being mean!'

'Me? _Me?'_

And it doesn't help that we're seated next to the bloody Gryffindor sixth years.

'Hey, Lola, give your brother a break-' I glare furiously down the table at James Potter, whose words die and bubble away. He sits on the same side of the table as us, and I see Black pat him on the shoulder in pity. 'Or, you know, don't. That's cool too'. He throws Lupin a look, eyebrows raised. The latter merely shakes his head from the opposite side of the table and Pettigrew laughs.

'Don't give him that look,' I grumble down the table at them. Potter just throws in hands in the air in defeat. 'Charlie,' I start sweetly, turning back to my brother. 'My sweet little brother. If you and Elliot don't befriend this poor Slytherin, I will personally hunt down every _Batman_ comic you have at home and set fire to it. Or-' I grin, plucking a grape from his plate and popping it into my mouth. 'I'll tell _mum_ '.

Charlie shrugs and stares defiantly back at me with matching hazel eyes. ' _I'll_ just tell them that you left Gryffindor Common room this morning wearing someone else's jumper'.

Thank _fuck_ the Great Hall is loud enough to drown out most of that comment.

Sirius Black and Frank Longbottom's contributing ' _oooooohs'_ are not in the slightest bit helpful. Eyes darting over to Remus, I see his fork halfway to his mouth and his amused eyes trained on my brothers head. _Bloody hell._ 'That, er, _wasn't_ me,' I mumble.

'You walked _passed_ me, Lola'.

Sirius Black practically _cackles._ He winks when I glare.

' _Fine!_ Be a little shit, but expect a bloody lump of coal for Christmas from me this year, sprog,' I huff. Glancing around at the food laid before me, I rub my hands together. Slowly, the others return to their own conversations. 'Gee, you Gryffindors sure get better grub than us-'

'Go _away,_ Lola-'

' _No._ I'm bored of my table anyway and you guys get _chocolate cake._ How is that fair? We get fucking _fruitcake._ Hey, have you written to mum and dad yet? I sent them a letter earlier today'. I nab another grape from his plate and elbow the boy to my right. 'Sorry, Elliot'.

Charlie shakes his dark haired head. 'Not yet. I going to do it after dinner when Elliot writes to his grandparents'. A smile tugs at his pale face. 'Did you tell them I'm in Gryffindor?'

I nod, ignoring the pang of jealousy that twists in my stomach. 'I did indeed. Dad's going to be stoked. Get ready to hear all about his Quidditch days in Gryffindor again, buddy-' I cut myself off, stomach plummeting when I note that Remus Lupin has locked his eyes on mine and is doing a funny little movement with his head. _The fuck?_ I blink at him. In return, he rolls his eyes and nods to the doorway of the Great Hall.

Oh. What the fuck?

Well, sure.

'Anyway,' I started sliding from seat. 'Er, bye. Bye, Elliot'.

It's mortifying how fast a move from the Great Hall, noting that Remus excuses himself and slides from the bench with long limbs and a thick book planted in his hand. I'm pretty sure I hear Potter begin a conversation with my brother, but I'm far too concerned with the fact that I am about to be alone with Remus Lupin on _his_ request-

 _What if it's a prank?_

I shake the thought from my head and turn on my heel the moment I'm to the right of the entrance, my face unreadable as Lupin rounds the corner, robes billowing. He catches my gaze and rubs the back of his neck, approaching me with a lazy smile. 'Hi'.

I cock a brow. 'Hello'.

'Prongs is talking to your brother,' he blurts out, voice that delicious deepness that has my knees weak. 'About befriending that Slytherin kid you were talking about. He knows all about befriending the outcast-' he cuts himself off and coughs into his fist, eyes shifting. 'Uh, anyway. I thought your brother would be more lenient if you weren't there'.

'Oh. Well, thank you, Remus,' I smirk suddenly, raising my eyebrows in mock understanding. ' _That's_ why you dragged me out here'.

He stands stock still for a moment, eyes trained on my face and mouth half open as if he wants to say something. He looks tired, something of which I had wanted to blame on the hangover, but it seemed a haggard kind of tired. Perhaps he was getting ill again - in the last couple of months of fifth year I'd noticed how often Lupin seemed to get the flu.

'Well,' he starts. 'Not _just_ that'. Then I see it; that darkness in his gaze and tightening of his fists as he looks at me and that familiar coil of heat blooms in my stomach once again. I clench my jaw, suddenly both nervous and turned on at the same time. We haven't done _this_ sober. And why does he look like he wants to devour me? Why does he look so fucking tired, because if I'm about to make out with him I do _not_ want to catch his illness-

Ah, fuck it.

I dart forward and grab him, yanking him to the tapestry behind us and ignoring his soft laughter as he manoeuvres himself backwards through the small archway, his hands planted on my hips. I push against his chest, heart hammering and feet unsteady as I plant him against the wall in the darkness. Fabian had shown me this place last year.

The voices from the Great Hall feel like a weak background noise compared to the hammering of my stupid bloody heart.

' _Now_ what-?' He begins, voice laced with sarcasm. I cut him off, my lips pressing firmly against his with vigour. Huh, so _this_ is what it feels like to kiss him sober. He's good, I have to admit. He knows exactly where to put his hands and how to use his tongue and - _oh, Merlin._ Suddenly, he pushes me around with...was that a fucking _growl?_ His forehead pushes against mine and I feel the hotness of his breath on my lips and the coldness of the wall against my back.

' _Shit,'_ he breathes, voice low, before _attacking_ my neck.

I stutter and grab his hair, arching into him in a way that would have most of my prissy Slytherin dorm mates calling me a _harlot_ , or something. I feel every curve and jut of his bones with a new sober kind of clarity; he feels good. He feels _perfect._ I feel the slight caress of his teeth against my jugular and I moan like a well trained bloody _whore-_

It is then that he yanks himself away from me, cheeks flushed and hair a perfect mess.

He looks completely horrified.

Straightening myself up, I look at him curiously before bending down to pick up his discarded book. My legs feel like jelly and my face is as hot as the sun. Frowning, I ask, 'That bad, huh?'

He shakes his head roughly, lips swollen and tie lose. Huh, had I done that? His eyes are dark when they peer at me, and I can see him taking deep breaths every few seconds. 'No. Merlin - _no._ I just...we can't,' he swallows and runs a hand through his hair. I frown at him. 'I _shouldn't_ have done that'.

I am stumped and hurt. My pride is fucking _battered._ ' _I_ kissed _you_. Our history suggested that you wouldn't mind that,' I retort sarcastically, adjusting my school jumper with a haughty look. _This_ has never happened before. Screw Brant for making me feel all confident.

'I don't!' Remus groans. He bites his thumbnail and sighs. 'Look, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? I've gotta go, Lola. I'm sorry I...' He shakes his head. With that, he gives me one last lingering look before pushing himself through the tapestry, his black school robes billowing out after him. I stare for a moment, mouth puckered into a thoughtful pout.

'Well, I suppose _that's_ what being ditched feels like. No wonder he was such a little bitch about it,' I mutter, sniffing.

* * *

 **Hello! I finished this last night but forgot to post it - whoops. I hope you all like how this story is going - I have big plans. We all obviously know why Lupin is being such a weirdo about Lola, perhaps a certain time of the month is nearby...? Please review! I have an exam tomorrow that's 50% of my first year degree, so some reviews would sure cheer me up!**


	7. Don't Babe Me, You Fucking Turd

_When you're a girl, you have to be everything, You have to be dope at what you do, but you have to be super sweet, and you have to be sexy, and you have to be this and you have to be that and you have to be nice, and you have to - it's like, I can't be all of those things at once. I'm a human being_ \- **Nicki Minaj**

* * *

 _September 5th 1976._

 _5:00 PM_

* * *

'You finished?' asks Brant, planting himself in the library chair next to me. I start and look over to him, eyes heavy from staring at my piece of ink filled parchment for so long. He rolls his eyes and grabs the lengthy piece. 'This looks like the right length. Uh huh...' His dark eyes scan over my writing. I blink at him, my eyes narrowed. 'Looks good to me, Loopy. What's with the look...Loopy _Lupin_ still not spoken to you - was he even in classes today?' he asks, voice low.

 _No,_ I think sulkily. _He was not._ After looking like utter shit the days after our brilliant kiss, Lupin had retreated more toward his friends in classes and had not so much as caught my gaze. On top of that, he was absent from Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts after looking like dung yesterday.

I scowl and wack his arm. ' _Shh_! I saw Evans and McKinnon round that corner earlier. _Red's_ friends with Remus,' I murmur, snatching the parchment from his hands and rolling it up delicately. Glancing at his affronted look, I sigh. 'Sorry. Bad mood. Vanity shot a tripping jinx at me on the way up from dinner in front of the some the seventh year Slytherins'. Which had been _very_ mortifying, let me assure you.

Brant huffs and crosses his arms on the table, his chin resting neatly on top. 'You remember in second year when you and I defended that muggleborn Hufflepuff first year from Lucius Malfoy and he jinxed the both of us to dance for, like, three hours?' I snort and nod. Brant actually smiles bemusedly. 'And remember _why_ were dancing for three hours, Loopy?'

I fight a smile, understanding his train of though. 'Because we didn't _want_ the jinx to end, Brant. Hell, I've never been good at dancing - that jinx gave us some _moves'._ Blowing a strand of curly hair from my face, I then return my gaze to the patiently waiting Ravenclaw before me. His dark skin has remnants of glitter on it, and I can only assume it's because Edith is back into arts and crafts.

'Yeah. _We made the best of a bad situation_ , didn't we? Merlin, Lola, I've seen you go from being a horrible little first year, so angry at the world, to a slightly taller version of that-' I thump him on the arm. 'Joking! C'mon, dude - it's just some _guy._ He's probably threatened by you or something. Okay, maybe not. He _is_ a Marauder, after all. At the end of the day, you let the Slytherins see you as such a threat that they only really hex you a couple of times a month now'.

I sniff and peer at him. 'That's more to do with _you_ , Edith and Endrew than it is _me._ You guys are unstoppable when it comes to charming peoples clothes off and once the Slytherins knew that, they backed off. And Black,' I suppose thoughtfully. 'He got a few good hexes in last year for me with Malfoy. I just insult them and hope they'll leave me alone'.

Brant lifts his head from the table and gives me a pointed look. 'It used to be worse,' he counters.

I purse my lips, remembering the pinches and threats and transfigured pillow that turned into thousands of spiders. I hum, annoyed. 'Yeah. I guess it did used to be a _hell_ of a lot worse. They got bored,' I shrug. 'Thanks, dude'.

'For what?'

I glare at him and throw a pointed look his way. 'Don't expect praise, Brantley'.

He gives me a funny look. 'That's literally all expect - 24/7'.

 _That_ gains a hearty laugh from me. 'Wanna go to the kitchens and eat a giant bowl of ice cream? I'm feeling an ice cream kinda day - _then_ we can moan about your pathetic crush on Sirius Black opposed to _my_ pathetic crush on Remus Lupin. Sound good?'

Brant gives me a tremendous sigh and stands grandly from his chair and throws me a hand. 'Go on then, Princess'. His grin only widens when I spring up happily, my chin only just coming to his chest. As we walk from the library, hand in hand, I realise with a painful tug just how much I _fucking adored_ my best friend. He was an embedded piece of me and, despite our awful way of showing it, it was nice to know I had such a rad best friend in him, and he in me.

* * *

' _No!'_ I cackle, nearly spitting a mouthful of strawberry ice-cream onto the counter before me. Brant shrugs and grins wolfishly, spoon still in his mouth and a smile tugging at his lips. 'Edith told _you_ that? Merlin, I didn't know Francis had it in him, to be honest. You can normally clock that kind of thing just by looking at a guy, really'. Brant nods and I flash him a wicked smile and waggle my eyebrows. 'Thinking of Black?'

Brant peers away from his bowl and grins. '...Bet it's _huge-'_

I shake my head, hands flying to my ears to protect whatever innocence is left in me. 'No, no, no! I do _not_ want to think about Sirius Black's dick!' Brant looks at me like I'm an absolute enigma. 'Just because _you're_ a pervert, dude'. I pause and stir the melted ice-cream in my bowl around, the grin slowly sliding from my face. 'Why didn't Edith tell _me_ that? I feel like I've been closer to _Endrew_ this year than her'.

Brant nods. I glare. Brant ducks his head. I glare harder.

' _What_?' A House Elf jumps from their place near one of the many stoves, its ears twitching and wide eyes blinking at the other startled House Elves. _Oh, whoops. Forgot how nervous the poor little buggers are._

Finally, Brant looks up at me. There are few times you will see Brant being awkward, and emotional conversations that he doesn't _want_ to have are one of those few times. Judging by the shifty look in his eyes and the awkward smile on his face, _this_ is gonna be a hell of a talk. 'Look, Lo, Edith-'

I nearly _blanch._ 'Fuck, you're calling me _Lo?_ It must be bad'.

He shoots me a deadpan look. ' _Edith,'_ he carries on pointedly. 'Is feeling...well...She's finding you really fucking difficult this year, Lola Leola. And I gotta say, I'm not the only one. This shit with Lupin is making you a moody fuck, and your shit with the Slytherins is...well, don't you think you could be _nicer?_ Okay, fuck, don't look at me like that! I mean...what if you stopped insulting them so much?'

I frown, utterly bewildered and a little ticked off. What was he on about? 'They bully me _relentlessly,_ Brant-'

Brant shifts awkwardly in his seat. Good - let the fucker squirm. Never, not once, have I had anyone tell me that _I_ need to be nicer to my Slytherin Housemates. I even got Charlie to partner up with Jone in one of their Charms classes - I'm a _saint!_ 'Well...don't you think it's gotten to be a bit two sided? I _know_ they started it in first year because of your mum. I _know_ they did some really screwed up shit...but we're in _sixth_ year now. People think...well, people think you're a bit of a bitch, Lo'.

The feeling that seizes at my chest is something I haven't bothered to feel in a long time because of someone else's words. _Hurt._ I blink. I blink again. I blink about fifty fucking times. 'Well...yeah. Bitch. Sarcastic. _Boss ass bitch_ '. He gives an uneasy smile. ' _No_?' I say, aghast. My spoon clatters to my bowl. 'Like... _nasty_? People think I'm _mean -_ outside of Slytherin?'

'The Gryffindors _get_ you, you're lucky there. It's probably because you got your dads sense of humour and they love that shit. The Ravenclaws...' I frown at him. 'Aside from Edith, Endrew and I, people think you're kind of a rude dick. The Hufflepuffs are _scared_ of you-'

'Well, fuck them!' I snap, crossing my arms. 'I stick up for people! The Marauders think I'm okay-'

'And a _butt_ load of people also think they're raving dicks too. They prank _everyone,_ Lola. Lily Evans isn't the only one who rolls her eyes at them constantly'. Brant rolls his eyes, highlighting his point. 'I'm just saying...be a little nicer here and there. _Smile_ at people'.

I narrow my eyes. 'What - so it's okay for the Marauders to be like that because they're _guys,_ right?'

 _'No._ Lola-'

'So Edith thinks I'm a massive bitch? I can't fucking _help_ having a defence mechanism. Do you know what it's like having to watch your back all of the time? I understand why Snape is such a loner freak, you know that? What the Marauders are like with him is what Slytherins are like with _me-'_

Brant huffs, suddenly looking annoyed. 'They're not _that bad_ anymore. And you're the one always saying that people judge Slytherin too quickly - I've had _plenty_ of conversations with Slytherins. Not all of them are Death Eater's children, you know. Emma Vanity is half decent sometimes-'

 _That_ was the last straw. 'Oh, _fuck off'._ I push myself away from one of the many tables with a huff and an embarrassing sting to my eyes. Brant must have noticed this, because he suddenly looks utterly horrified. 'I may understand where you're coming from, but _screw you_ for belittling the shit I went though, man. I'm fucking going to bed-'

'It's eight o'clock, Lola. Stop being dramatic, babe-'

'Don't babe me, you fucking _turd'._ I shove my chair in with my hip and spin on my heel, my pride punched and my cheeks flaming. What if he's right? I thought it was just my _thing_ to be a nasty bitch - but I'm _nice._ I'm good and nice and, fuck, what if I'm no better than the prejudice dicks in my House? What if _I'm_ one of the bullies I hated _so much_ growing up.

Brant stands and stalks after me. 'Merlin, are you on your period?'

I whirl around, mortified and _furious,_ but because of this I do not notice the portrait-hole swinging open. At the same time I _nearly_ scream, 'How _dare_ you, Brantley?!' A voice says, ' _Shit, Prongs, didn't you check the map - there's people!_ '

Brant stops his stalking and I stop my furious screaming only to to whirl around and come face to face with four annoyingly familiar faces. Sirius, James, Remus and Peter all look extremely startled, and to my utter mortification I realise that my wand is drawn and my face is horribly wet with tears. ' _Shit_ ,' I mutter, ducking my head and wiping at my cheeks.

'Er-' Brant starts.

'Move, please,' I mutter, pushing forward. I would have laughed at how Potter nearly toppled over the perch in his haste, had I not been so upset and embarrassed. I will never, ever live this down. ' _Thank you'._ Merlin, fucking _kill_ me. Let the floor swallow me up - do _something_ to save me from this horrible fucking moment. I hop up the step and slide past the four of them.

'What the _hell_ did you do to the Ice Queen, Zaveri?' Potter asks as I stumble into the dark corridors of Hogwarts and leave behind the warmth of the castle kitchens. At Potter's words, I let out a stupid, awful, embarrassing sob and hurry forward, hand clasped over my mouth. Brant and I never argue - what the fuck is _happening?_ And _why am I crying - someone make it stop?!_

'Lola-'

I let out an awful groan that only sounds worse by the thickness of my crying. 'Lupin, I swear to _Merlin_ -' I duck my head and scrub quickly at my cheeks, making my strides longer to lose the sandy haired Gryffindor. _This is awful. Not him - don't let him see me like this._ Suddenly, a hand encircles my forearm and I stop short, wrenching myself away from his grip. ' _Don't_ -'

I start crying more and it's really quite pathetic. I only feel slightly better because Remus looks so bad himself. He's in rumpled muggle clothing that sags against his lean form and his face is an ill looking pale. From what I know of my crying face, I probably look like a tomato. There's a bit of silence as he looks down at me, his expression mildly horrified. 'Am I _bitch?'_ I nearly wail before I can stop myself.

Remus stops short. 'Er-'

'Edith says I am, and Brant! I thought...I thought people just _got me,_ but now apparently everyone thinks I'm some terrible _Ice Queen-'_

 _'Prongs was joking'._ His hand twitches forward, then drops back to his side.

I straighten up, drying the last of my stupid tears. 'He's not wrong, _is he?_ If I was a Gryffindor it would be a totally cool - _why_ couldn't I have just been sorted into Hufflepuff like that fucking Hat said-' I stop short and sniff, my arms falling to my side. Lupin is staring at me, his amber eyes darting over every inch of my face. In his hand dangles my black school bag. I nearly start fucking crying again. 'Don't tell _anyone_ I said that'.

Remus shrugs, a small smile playing on his lips. 'It wanted to put me in Ravenclaw'.

I pull a face. 'Well, that's nothing to be _embarrassed_ about, is it? You a freaking genius, Remus'.

He steps forward once, twice. The strap of my bag hangs on his slim shoulder. 'Neither is being in Hufflepuff, y'know. What the fuck does the Sorting Song say again - _Hufflepuffs are just and unafraid of toil_ or something? That sounds like you, Leola'. I snort. 'You want me to be honest? Yeah, you're kind of terrifying. Before last year I wouldn't have gone anywhere near you like Sirius did. You're not welcoming. You're not friendly to outsiders-'

My throat tightens and I glare at him furiously.

' _Wait,_ will you? _But_ you're funny, friendly and loyal to those you actually give a shit about. Since when did you care what other people thought of you anyway, Lola Leola?'

I shrug. 'I just don't want people to think I'm _needlessly_ mean. I thought...it sounds dumb, but I thought I was the _nice_ Slytherin'. Remus honestly looks like he's fighting a smile at that comment. 'Oh, shut up, you prick'.

He scoffs. 'You're right, I don't know what I was thinking. You're so obviously a _delight'._

I sniff. 'I'm never going to live that down - how embarrassing'.

'Probably not,' agrees Lupin

There's a pause. 'What did you mean?' I ask, peering up at him. He looks away from the tall window, in which a Waning Gibbous Moon shines through the mosaic pattern. My Astronomy lesson on Tuesday had told me that the full moon had fallen...huh, yesterday. Drat, I was hoping to have a class when it was high in the sky. 'When you said that before last year you thought I was scary - what changed?'

My face _burns._

Lupin suddenly looks _highly_ uncomfortable. He stares at me for an annoying amount of time, his jaw set and his eyes half wide. 'Er...'

I roll my eyes. 'Merlin, never mind'. I wipe away the dampness from my eyelashes. 'Thank you, Remus. For coming to see if I was okay and bringing me my bag. It was a massive over reaction on my part - but... _thanks'._

He grins. ' _There's_ that niceness everyone's been looking for'.

'Fuck off'.

'Or _not'._ He continues to look at me, his jaw working as he chews the side of his mouth.

'Do you feel better now?' I ask. He starts, eyes flashing once again from the window to my face. 'You were off classes today, I mean. C'mon man, - I'm trying to the nice thing here. Work with me, okay?'

He laughs through his nose. 'Yeah, yeah. I'm fine now...overnight flu, or something'.

I blink. Whilst I've got the cunning lying thing down, Remus apparently has _not._ I nod anyway, eyebrows raised. 'Good, good-'

'Do you want to be my partner in Potions tomorrow?' he blurts out suddenly. I bite my lip, fighting a smile and wishing to Merlin that my eyes weren't so puffy from crying. 'I'm sorry about what happened, but...we can be friends, right?'

I ignore the pang in my chest and plough on, never one to not take all I can get. 'Even if we sometimes snog?'

Remus grins a wolfish grin and my stomach tightens. How the hell has he managed to calm me down so miraculously? After something akin to the fight I just had with Brant, I would fall into a fit of rage and start an argument with anyone I came across... _oh_. I'm starting to see what Brant meant. 'That's the _best_ kind of friend,' he says.

I throw him a dry look. 'You're such a _boy'._

'Says the blubbering _girl'._

I glare and hold out my hand, two which he shrugs my bag from his shoulder and hands it to me, a flippant smile gracing his pale features. 'That's sexist,' I shoot back, shrugging my bag across my chest. 'But true - _ugh_ ,' I rub my cheeks once again. 'How stupid of me - time of the month or something, I'm sure,' I say, waving a hand in Lupin's general direction.

He snorts and says, 'I know the feeling,' with a wry smile and raised eyebrows.

I pause, a funny expression on my face.

He stalls, amber eyes flashing up to meet mine with a weirdly _terrified_ expression on his face. _This guy is bipolar or something, I swear._ I snort and adjust my bag. 'You got a vagina hidden under there you're not telling me about, Remus? 'Cause I'm totally cool with that, you know. I'm a door that swings both ways, if you catch my drift'. I wink and grin. 'You'd actually make a pretty hot girl'. Suddenly, a door slams in the distance and I jump. 'That'll be Brant. I'm not exactly one for awkward situations, so I'll see you in Potions, Remus!'

Walking backwards and giving him a small wave, I turn quickly on my heel and look once over my shoulder and pause. 'Thanks again, dude. Means...y'know. Means a lot'.

Lupin smiles and rolls his eyes. 'Quit being so fucking sappy, Lola'.

' _Rude'._

* * *

 **I'M BACK. I'm so sorry it's been so long, Uni life and my other fics and my own personal writing have taken up a LOT of time. I hope you guys like this chapter and the direction I'm taking Lola in! She's probably the most interesting character I've written, and the one with the most dimensions. Good and bad and nice and mean are all things that can be intertwined, and I feel that with her. Thanks for the reviews! Please gimme more!**


	8. The Skinny Twat

_As women, we must stand up for each other_ \- **Michelle Obama**

* * *

 _September 6th 1976_

 _10:50 AM_

* * *

'I don't think you're a bitch'.

I nearly fall flat on my face at Edith's sudden appearance, my bag sliding from my shoulder in shock. Stopping in the middle of the hallway, I ignore Bulstrode and Vantiy's sneers as they avoid smacking into me. Edith stands beside me, wide blue eyes desperate and apologetic. I forget momentarily what the hell she is on about, my brain too fried from that mornings Transfiguration session in which we'd been forced to study human transfiguration.

I had failed miserably, by the way. Upon trying to do the spell, I'd given my partner, a Hufflepuff, a pig snout rather than a beak. Of course, the Hufflepuffs we Slytherins shared the class with had done no better. That was, perhaps, the _only_ consolation.

Adjusting my bag, I mock glare at Edith and sniff at the air with a miffed off look. After a long hard sleep and reflection on the mortifying events on the night before, I decided I would let my friends suffer only slightly. Edith, I would forgive. Brant, I would make sure knew he had done wrong. 'That's not what Brant said,' I drawl, casting her a sideways glance.

Edith pouts and looks at me desperately, tugging on my arm like a lost puppy. ' _Lola,'_ she whines. The fact that her white blonde hair was in two separate pigtails didn't exactly help the pathetic aura of her look. Biting back a smile, I turn to glare at her with a pursed mouth. 'It's not as if I say anything different to your _face,'_ she continues to moan, eyebrows drawn together in despair.

It was no wonder Francis couldn't say no to anything she asked for.

I hum and glare once again. I was quite good at glaring, really. I got it from mum. 'But saying it to _Brant?_ Saying I bring this shit with Slytherins onto _myself?'_ I shrug and scuff my shoe against the stone floor. 'That's pretty shitty, Edith'.

She practically stomps her foot in frustration. ' _I know!'_ she wails, continuing to tug at my robes. McKinnon and Evans pass us, concerned looks on both their faces. 'Lola, _pleeease._ I didn't mean it like that at all! I've called you a bitch tons of times - you've called me worse! Remember that time you said Endrew and I looked like mum and dad had locked us in the basement for all our lives-'

Ah. I forgot about that one. '...You two are _very_ pale,' I defend, scratching my curly head bashfully. 'Oh, _fine!_ I was never going to stay angry at you, was I? Just say shit to my face, you got that? I can take it, I'm a big girl'. I adjust my bag and ignore Edith's sunshine smile and the way she links her arm with mine. 'Anyway, I'm more pissed at Brant. He was a right dick last night. Made me cry in front of the _marauders'._

Edith tugs me towards the dungeons in time for out Potions lesson. 'No _way._ Oh, Lo, that's awful! I'm sure he didn't mean it to come out so badly...when he spoke to 'Drew and I at breakfast he sounded really angry with himself. He kept trying to catch your eye but you were too busy speaking with that Jone boy. You _will_ forgive him, won't you?'

Weaving through the students going to their next lesson, I scoff and nod. 'Of course I will. I can't live without that idiot. Doesn't mean I can't be pissy at him, even _if_ what he was saying was slightly true. Ugh. Let's talk about something different - something happier!'

Edith nods, a focused look on her face. 'Yes, let's'. After a pause, she said. 'Did you read the _Prophet_ this morning? Five muggles were found dead in Norfolk underneath the Dark Mark. It's getting much worse out there...' Catching my pale look, she backtracks and sighs. 'That wasn't exactly happy, was it? Sorry, it's just it's so close to mum and dad...'

Reality, every so often, seemed to creep back into our secluded little lives at Hogwarts. It scared the shit out of me to think there was a war happening just outside of the Castle. You-Know-Who seemed to be rising more and more everyday, no matter how much we tried to ignore it. Scary as _fuck._ Scary to think I was smack bang in the middle of Death Eater offspring. Not that they were all like that...

'I know,' I reply softly. With an awkward smile, I squeeze her arm and bump my shoulder with hers. 'Lupin asked to be my partner for Potions today'. Edith turns to look at me, a dazzling smile on her features. 'Oh, don't look so happy. Remember that he left me with blue clit a few days ago? There's something bothering him about me...probably the Slytherin thing. You never know - his parents could hate Slytherins-'

Edith frowns and rolls her eyes. 'Lupin doesn't seem like he would come from the type of family that would be prejudice. He's _shy-'_

I scoff. 'He is _not._ Remus Lupin a year ago was a shy little bad boy. Sixth year Remus Lupin is a whole new shebang. If you knew the things he said to me, Edith. I know you said Francis can be a right old _dog,_ so you'll understand what I mean why I say Rem-' At that moment, the four marauders round the corridor ahead of us, their backs turned, and carry on down the long corridor that heads to the Potions room. Words dying in my throat, I thank Merlin that they were not facing us. 'Never mind,' I mutter, and Edith snorts into her hand.

'Hey,' I say, deciding to change the conversation from the ever boring topic of boys boys _boys._ 'I never did ask you - how was working at your mothers shop when you weren't living it up in France?'

Edith seemed to glow with life then, her blue eyes brightening like a clear sky. Fuck, how could someone look so _pure_ all of the time? 'Oh, it was fantastic! Mum really thinks that I could take over the business one day, you know. She's teaching me all the spells, and even muggle ways of making clothes. She says sometimes doing it yourself can make the outcome even better - it really is amazing, Lo'.

I nod and smile. There you fucking go. Day one of trying to be nice and I'm already succeeding. Though, talking to Edith doesn't really count...I'm always fairly nice to her. No, I have to do something I wouldn't normally do. Something that will get _noticed._

As we walk into the Potions room, I'm suddenly struck with a kind of butterfly rave going on in my stomach. The seat next to Remus Lupin is _free._ Fuck. What does that mean? Did he really mean it when he said he wanted me to sit with him? Potter and Black are sitting behind him, crouched over a bit of ruddy looking parchment. Pettigrew is sitting beside Longbottom, gesturing wildly with his hands. Oh, _bugger._ I scan the room as Edith skips ahead and bids be farewell with a wink, taking the seat next to Endrew and in front of Brant. The latter looks my way, sitting up from his crouched position and opening his mouth as if he wants to call from me.

 _Nope. I'm punishing you._ As if he can hear the words, Brant's form sags and and he rolls his eyes in exasperation. At that moment, over the buzz of the students, Lupin looks up from his roll of parchment, quill in his ink stained hand, and meets my hazel gaze. _Merlin,_ the butterflies feel like they're having some kind of rabid orgy now. He looks much the same as he did yesterday, except his hair is somewhat neater. How is his uniform always so bloody tidy? Who the fuck can even pull of the whole bad boy but good boy thing?

I then realise I'm standing in the doorway and start forward, cheeks reddening and mind screaming at me to stop being so _weird._ Dropping into the seat beside Lupin, just a table across from Edith and Endrew, I dump my back on the table and turn to smile at Lupin. 'Hello, Remus,' I greet.

He looks tired; only slightly more so than usual. His honey eyes are trained on my own, and a lazy smile zaps onto his face as he considers me. With a quick glance down, I see that he's already working on the homework we were set yesterday in DADA. 'Hello, Lola,' he says, long eyelashes fluttering.

I nod and turn away, unpacking my bag with haste. 'I'd like to say now that you've made a terrible decision wanting to be my partner. I'm between mainly a mediocre potion maker, with an above average thrown in at least one a year. Aren't you normally partnered with Evans? She's _way_ good at Potions. Slughorn pretty much wants to marry her'.

Ignoring James and Sirius, who seemed to me whispering to each other furiously about something behind us, he shakes his head and blows a strand of light brown hair from his face. 'Only last week because Marlene was absent. I'm usually with Wormtail, so you've saved me this week'.

'I _heard_ that,' snapped Peter, turning away from Longbottom to send Remus an affronted look. 'I'll remember this, Moony'. With a flourish of his fat head, he turns his back to the two of us and begins his conversation with Frank once again. Remus rolls his eyes at his friends back, seemingly unruffled with the declaration. I admire him for only a moment, a few inappropriate thoughts flying in and out of my head in that split second. Isn't it wonderful how easy it is to think about banging someone even when you're talking to them, and they'll never know? Truly wondrous.

'I take it you still aren't talking to Zaveri after last nights... _happenings?'_ he supplies, rolling his parchment up and giving me a sidelong look. Setting my quill out in front of me, I sniff and shake my head. 'Still embarrassed?'

'Still annoying?' I shoot back pathetically, to which Lupin grins and shakes his head. 'I'm punishing him by ignoring him for the time being. He knows how I work. We'll be fine by tomorrow'. I look up as Slughorn enters the room, his moustache twitching and his boots sodden with mud. The class begins to quieten down, and I sneak a look over my shoulder to see that my usual place next to Brant has been taken by one of the Ravenclaw girls. I'm pretty sure Brant has slept with her before.

'Are you sure you not talking to him is _punishment?'_ murmurs Lupin, head bowed as he begins taking notes on whatever Slughorn is babbling on about. He grunts when I nudge him, causing his his pen to splatter a small amount of ink over his work.

Fifteen minutes later, we're both hovering over a slowly boiling cauldron and I'm trying desperately to prove to Remus that I'm not half as stupid as I let others believe. 'I think we should add the honeywater now,' I say to Lupin, thanking Merlin that I decided to take notes that lesson. Remus, whose hair has frizzed slightly as he stands over the Potion, does as I'd requested.

I thank Merlin once again when the potions does what it should and turns pink.

'Hey, Lola'. I roll my eyes and turn to face Sirius, who's leaning against the table as James studies the Potion before them with a look of baffled confusion. 'You know if your mate Edith is serious with that fancy ponce Francis?'

I stifle a grin at his description of Francis. Although true, that _is_ my best friends boyfriend. 'I believe so, yes, Black. And _no,_ she will not go out with Peter,' I say lowly, ensuring that the pudgy boy will not hear our conversation. 'Don't you have a trail of girls you can fix him up with?'

Black sticks his tongue out at me and rolls up the sleeves of his white shirt. As I turn back to the bright pink potion, Black says, 'Hey, Lola'. _Bloody hell._ Lupin snickers as he turns the heat of the potion higher with his wand. Eyebrow raised in annoyance, he considers me with a mock concerned look. 'Why were you so upset last night? Moony here is being very secretive about it and Zaveri just got bitchy with us'.

Something softens in me at the realisation that Remus had not told them about my little breakdown to him. To my delight, I see him stiffen out of the corner of my eye and shoot Black what I assume is a dirty look. Black trails his eyes from my face, to Lupin's, and back again. Merlin, fancying him has made me all... _gooey._ Would I get like this _every time_ he did something nice for me? 'I had an epiphany and realised that you existed. The realisation made me quite distraught'.

At that, Potter snorts.

I turn away from the two of them as Potter drags Black's attention back toward their potion, and nudge Remus a little on the side. Looking up at his tall form, I blink and smirk and shrug a little. '...Thanks,' I mutter.

He grins smugly and scoffs. To my utter delight, I see his cheeks dust with pink. _There's_ that Remus Lupin from two years ago. 'You're welcome'.

At that moment, I see a white, expensive looking quill drop to the ground just two tables ahead of mine and Remus's. When I see _exactly_ who dropped it, the smile falls from my face and I trip forward without really thinking on it, darting around my table to the quill. _Her_ hand reaches for it as I do, but the look on Emma Vanity's face when I hand her quill to her with a dazzling smile is the little dose of smugness I needed.

'What are you doing, Leola?' she asks, snatching the quill from my hand stepping back a step. Behind her, Bulstrode scowls and cocks a thick brow at me. Ah. Don't exactly fancy getting in a duel with Bulstrode the fucking Bear.

I continue to grin and back away. 'Giving you your quill!' With that, I turn sharply on my heel and make my way back to the bemused looking Remus Lupin. As Brant's dark gaze meets mine, I see the exasperated amusement in his gaze. He knows _exactly_ what I'm doing.

'What was that?' mutters Lupin, bowing his head as he inspects the potion that's turned a steady shade of orange.

'Me being _nice,'_ I shoot back. 'It's something I'm working on in my spare time'. _If everyone has a reaction like Vanity, this might not be so bad. Maybe she'll be even more on edge now...No! I'm doing this to be nice!_

'I think maybe that was overkill,' Remus mutters. I look over Peter and Longbottom's heads to see Bulstrode glaring at me and Vanity staring at her quill as if it might come to life and attack her. Can't she just be fucking grateful I picked the thing up for her? Merlin almighty. 'You looked off your rocker'.

I snort. 'Fuck off'.

'Well, you did'. He smirks and flops down into his chair with a huff. At that height, his face his practically level with mine. I inspect him, from his bagged eyes to his chapped lips. He seems to do the same for a moment, a somewhat serious look upon his face. 'You hair has gone manic,' he quips.

Slightly panicked, a feel for my hair and sigh in annoyance. 'It's the humidity,' I sniff, trying to flatten the wild frizz. 'You don't look too fresh yourself, Lupin'. _Well, you're a fucking liar, Leola._ 'You look beat, mate'.

Lupin smirks lazily and stretches his long legs out beneath the table. 'I had rounds last night, _Leola'._

My shoulders sag. I forgot he was a Prefect. 'I... _whatever_ ,' I mutter, inspecting out potion with feigned interest. Lupin snorts and leans back in his chair as I peer over the cauldron, reaching for the mint sprigs and scattering them onto the bubbling surface. With a whoosh, the potions turns a bright blue. 'Huh. I'm actually pretty good at this'.

'That's the _first_ thing you've done,' points out Remus, attempting to swat Black's hand away without looking at him as the latter tugs annoyingly at his hair. I hide an amused smile at their antics, almost fucking _touched_ by how those idiots seem to care for each other. Potter and Black proclaim their undying love for each other on a bloody daily basis. 'Wait-' he starts forward, eyebrows drawing together as he rises from his seat to pear into our suddenly furiously bubbling cauldron. Fuck, it's turning _brown._

'Ah,' I say, rather unhelpfully.

Black snorts and begins to say something, but Potter snaps his fingers at the boy and draws his attention back to their own potion. I blink away from the two of them and look back to Lupin, who is staring rather confusedly at our own thickly bubbling potion. 'I think you added too many mint sprigs,' he says slowly, mouth pulled into a tight frown. His scars move with the expression, and for the millionth time since first year I wonder _where_ he obtained those scars from-

Remus looks down at me and I smile up at him, the picture of innocence. '...Whoops?'

With a shake of his head, he runs a long fingered hand through his lazy curls and huffs out a sigh. 'Right, then'. With that, he grasps at the ladle and begins mixing the potion, and with his other hand he draws the thick _Advanced Potion Making_ textbook toward him and scans the tiny sentences with vigour. His tall form leans across the table and he grabs at the vial of Syrup of Hellebore and pours a small amount into the mixture.

 _You dumb, stupid, dumbo._

Joy, now Remus thinks I'm a fucking idiot.

Still...he does look rather tasty all focused and hard working...yum...

'It's turning blue again,' I supply unhelpfully, peering into the potion next to Remus's shoulder. 'Should we heat it up now?' Remus grunts and does as advised. 'Sorry,' I near whine, feeling pretty fucking daft.

Remus, deciding that the potion is turning the correct colour with the heat, flops back into his seat and laughs, shrugging off his robe to lay it on his seat. He's left only in his Gryffindor jumper and tightly tied tie. _That_ was a tongue twister. I decide then that I much prefer him with only his white school shirt on and a _very_ loose tie. Yes, _that's_ the Remus Lupin I enjoy looking at. 'I distracted you, it's okay,' he says, drawing up the sleeves of his jumper to his elbows. My eyes dart down to his smooth and slightly scarred forearms, before jumping back to his face. Remus cocks a brow and says, 'I am very distracting'.

In a very unconvincing manner, I scoff. Was he so forward with all girls, or had six years as a marauder finally turned Lupin into a little sweet talker. I liked to think he was only like this with me, but that was probably pretty dumb. ' _Sure_ you are'. I glance briefly over my shoulder, making sure that Sirius and James are distracted by their own potion making. They both looked very pleased with each other as they gaze down at their steaming cauldron.

I'm still standing, so when I feel warm fingers brush up against the side of my thigh, just above the hem of my skirt, I nearly jump so violently that I fall flat on my face. Face beet red, I turn to look at Lupin with a scandalised look and blush even harder at his smug little smirk. My stomach flips and my eyes widen. At that moment, Slughorn calls from the front of the classroom for us to bottle up out potions for his inspection.

Remus cocks a brow at me and I want to fucking _jump him_. 'You alright, Lola? You seem distracted'.

With a huff and shake of my curly headed head, I turn on my heel and start for the front of the room to grab one of the vials Slughorn is handing out. My legs feel like noodles. My cheeks feel like they're on fire. _How did the skinny twat have this effect on me? No one_ had this effect on me! Behind me, I hear the soft laughter of Remus bloody Lupin.

The prick.

* * *

 **Another update! Aren't I nice? You know what would be suuuuuper nice? Reviews! Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter, they made me super duper happy. This chapter is very much Lola/Remus, but don't think it's all smooth sailing! I've got plans ahead. Some Brant next chapter! My tumblr is qarlgrimes if anyone wants to drop me an ask.**


	9. When The Crimson Wave Hits

_I think the best role models for women are people who are fruitfully and confidently themselves, who bring light into the world_ — **Meryl Streep**

* * *

 _September 7th 1976_

 _9:15 AM_

* * *

That morning, I wake with a crick in my neck and my face buried in my copy of _Astronomy: Turn Left at Orion._ Groggily, I realise that I'd fallen asleep with my book on my lap and nose buried in the crease of the pages. Thank _Merlin_ I'd closed my curtains around my bed last night. Vanity would have most likely dragged all of the Slytherin girls in to see me looking so stupid.

Sliding from my thick green covers and past the silver and moss coloured curtain, I start for the shower and past the pristine state of the sixth year dorms. Vanity, Bulstrode, Articia and Nott usually wake up at six on the dot, even on Saturdays. Unholy, even for them. Still, that means I can wander about the dorm without feeling like a victim of the plague with the way they avoid me.

I shower quickly, fully aware that breakfast would end soon and I'd need to catch Brant, Edith and Endrew before they started for Hogsmeade. Not that they would leave without me, of course. I'd promised Edith the day before on the way to our respected Common Rooms that I'd sort things out with Brant the Bastard. Not before telling him what a twat he was, of course.

Shoving on a grey jumper and a pair of ripped jeans that I outright _refused_ to let my father magic fixed, I trip my way down the staircase and smack, of course, into none other than Snape. I retract myself immediately from his vicinity, slightly repulsed and worried that his grease had rubbed off on me.

 _So, being nice is going well then._

The boy sneers at me over his hooked nose, tiny black eyes narrowed down at my face. I smile weakly, attempting to circle round him whilst apologising. It's kind of a kick in the balls when you realise I was sorted in the same House as him...meaning we share _characteristics._ Sharing a likeliness with Vanity? I can live with that. The bitch can dress well. Severus 'Stick-Up-My-Arse' Snape? Not so much.

'You have black on your nose,' he drawls after me as I start for the portrait hole after saying sorry once again.

I turn, surprised that he's even _talking_ to me. Even before all that shit that went down with Evans, everyone had hated him. But _after..._ well, he pretty much avoided me because he knew of my friendship with those _out of_ our House. That, and he started bumming the prestigious of our House a lot more. 'You what?' I ask, rather unintelligibly.

He grimaces at me and rolls his. 'You have black,' he reiterates, annoyingly slowly. 'On your _nose'._

'Oh'. I blink and reach into my pocket for my wand. ' _Scourgify!'_ With that, there's a small tickle on my nose which I can only assume means the spell worked. Blinking back at Snape, I ask, 'All good?'

The tosser merely stares dully at me for a moment before turning swiftly on his heel and clambering up the boys staircase. O _kay_ then. Probably going to have a fucking Death Eater slumber party, the gross little weasel. Not that it would be possible to have a slumber party during the day, but what _ever._ Hoping to Merlin that my nose is devoid of any black (mascara, I assume), I exit the Common Room with some pride in myself that I hadn't shouted after Snape and called him a twat.

That, my friends, is called _growth of character._

Or amazing restraint. Either one.

I stop only, ahem, five times on the way to the Great Hall to ensure that the black on my nose is gone. After the fifth puzzled answer of, '...Er, yes'. I decide that my charm _must_ have worked. As I enter the Great Hall, I smile a dazzling smile at the three little eleven year old boys I see leaving the Great Hall. 'My three musketeers!' I beam, reaching forward to pinch Charlie's pink cheeks. He blanches away from me with a mortified look.

'Lo!' he snaps, giving Elliot and Jone apologetic looks. 'Quit it!'

'Leave your brother alone, Miss Leola,' says McGonagall, barely even casting me a glance as she walks past us, heading for the courtyard.

'Yes, ma'am,' I answer, sticking my tongue out at Charlie. 'Oi, what are you three up to today, then? Keeping up on your homework, I hope, you little worm'. I ignore his protests that he is, already distracted by the bombard of noise coming from the Great Hall. Ah, the Gryffindor table. That'll be the Marauders, then. 'Yeah, yeah, okay. Good boy'. I wave a hand at Charlie and cast Jone a smile as they leave, noting the change in his behaviour since becoming friends with the to Gryffindors. The young boy merely rolls his eyes at me and waves goodbye.

That was me. _I_ did that. I'm _such_ a good person.

Judging by the smell as I walk past the Gryffindor table, I can only assume that the band of idiots had set of a stink bomb. Lily Evans shrill voice leads me to the conclusion that she was giving them a bollocking. _Good._ Sliding into my seat, I reach for a grapefruit and a pint of milk and the letter that is dropped into my lap by a rather ruffled looking owl.

The Slytherin table is pretty bare, filled with only a the years that aren't able to go to Hogsmeade. As usual, there is a wide birth around where I sit. Keeping my eyes far from the Ravenclaw table (where I am _sure_ I saw Brant giving me wide, brown eyes. The baby) I tear open the letter and scoop out my grapefruit segments with a thoughtful look. To any bystander, I'm sure the expressions on my face were quite amusing. They went from confused, to annoyed, to utterly bemused.

Quit calmly, I down my pint of milk and look over the top of my glass to the near empty Ravenclaw table, making eye contact with none other than Brantley himself. Edith and Endrew sit either side of him, Endrew talking to an equally light haired woman with wide, dazed blue eyes, and Edith talking to Francis. Brant gives me the most innocent of smiles, barely hiding his amusement.

I make my way over to him in nearly ten seconds flat, scrunching up the letter and throwing it lightly at his forehead. 'You wrote to my bloody _mother'._

Edith looks up with a somewhat concerned look on her face, whereas Brant continues to stare at me with what is turning into a smug little look. 'Helen _understands_ me. She was very sympathetic when I told her what happened. She-'

I laugh and slide into the bench opposite him, reaching forward to plant a sloppy old kiss on his lips. Edith merely sighs whilst Endrew slurps greedily at a cup of coffee. When I pull away, Brant's grinning. 'You're an idiot,' I remind him, settling back into my seat. 'I was never going to stay angry at you, even if you _were_ a dick. Now let's brush this aside and remind ourselves to never be mean to me, because I am perfect'. I pause and breath in deeply, grimacing as Brant looks on expectantly. 'Even though you were _minutely_ right about only _some_ things-'

'I can't believe you picked up Vanity's quill,' he cut, snorting into his orange juice. 'The look on her _face-'_

Aaaand, back to normal. 'She kept checking to see if it was jinxed. I watched her all lesson'. Endrew pauses and considers his words. 'That sounded creepier than it intended to'.

'Oh, thank _Merlin_ we're all friends again. One day and this one was moping about like I'd cut off his _limb,'_ trills Edith, rolling eyes and linking her hand with Francis's. ' _I was so mean, Edith. What if she's really angry at me this time? What if I've ruined our friendship-'_

Brant elbows her as I grin at him and coo. 'Alright, Edith. I didn't sound _quite_ so pathetic'.

'You always sound pathetic,' I remind him, sliding once again from my seat and patting him atop the head. 'Shall we go? Edith and I want to go to Tomes and Scrolls to find some books for Potions. I am _totally_ going to fail this year. I almost fucked up mine and Lupin's potion _bad_ yesterday-'

'Ah, _yes,'_ breathed Brant, standing from his chair with Francis, Edith and Endrew following suite. 'The day you ditched me for that skinny little heroin addict-'

'He is not a _heroin addict-'_

Brant scoffed. 'He _looks_ like one'.

* * *

Is it creepy to watch someone when they don't know you're anywhere near by?

Probably.

That doesn't, of course, stop me from looking through the window of Tomes and Scrolls as I pretend to flick through a thick copy of _Potion Making for the Dummiest of Dummies._ I'm looking at Remus, by the way. Just in case you hadn't already guessed. He's sitting with Sirius on a bench outside of Zonko's where I assume Peter and James are. Remus is thumping Sirius on the shoulder with an annoyed look on his face, whereas Black is laughing.

He's wearing a coat. A ripped up patchy jacket. I wonder if he's poor. Not that I _care._ Remus is smart enough to get any job he wants. I just...I wonder what his home life is like. I wonder what his room looks like. I wonder what his parents are like.

'Alright, creepo?'

I snap my textbook shut and glare at Brant. 'Fuck off. Like you don't stare at Black with a half-chub everyday'. Brant laughs at that and continues to suck on his blood red lollipop with a serious look on his face, his eyes cast once more toward the two boys. 'Don't do it _now_!' I protest, jumping away from him. 'You're _gross._ Go and drool over books like you usually do, you dork'.

'I'm not a dork. Being smart is _cool_ now. It's 197 _6_ _'._

I scoff. 'Okay, loser. Hey, shall we escape the twins and Mister Darcy whilst we can? I want to go to Zonko's, and I can't be bothered with Edith walking into everything and breaking it and...well, and Endrew doing the same'.

Brant grabs my book and chucks it onto a tall pile to our left and hooks his arm with mine. ' _Let's,_ my dear. _So_ glad we're good now, by the way. No one else has quite a lack of morals like me - only you'. I snort and start for the door with him, rolling my eyes when he asks, 'Is Darcy a muggle thing - that dumb romance book, right?' As Brant starts a tirade of why muggle literature is _so_ behind times (I refrain from reminding him that _Pride and Prejudice_ was published in 1813), I move a little closer to him as he walks into the cool September air.

'Fucking cold,' mutters Brant, using his free hand to tuck his tartan scarf closer to his neck. 'Hey, have you started the charms homework yet? I thought we could work on it Monday evening-'

I shake my head and step down a step with a little hop. 'Afraid I can't, dear. Astronomy lesson that evening. Something about Saturn being super bright that night - Merlin knows. I just go along with it-'

At that, Brant rolls his eyes. 'Don't pretend you're not a fucking genius at that subject, Leola. Go on, what's the lesson about?' he eggs on, casting me a sideways glance.

I glance at him. '...It'll be brightest at dusk through to the end of the night,' I mutter, a bashful little smile on my face. 'It's only ever usually like that in summer. Sinistra said Jupiter will be _super-'_

Brant tugs lightly on our linked arms. 'Okay, pause, loser. Lupin is giving me the psycho eyes not so subtly. Someone not get his fix today?' he mutters, leading me across the road toward the person in question. Not that I'd wanted to go to Zonko's to walk past him. That would be desperate and dumb. _Ahem_.

'He's _not_ a heroin addict,' I mutter angrily and elbow Brant in the side. 'He's not _glaring'._ I look up as subtly as I can as we weave through the students and Hogsmeade dwellers to see Lupin and Black, still huddled on the bench, blinking _not so_ subtly over at Brant and I. Whilst Lupin has a badly hidden grimace on his scarred face, Black looks mildly amused as he tugs at Remus's tattered jacket. 'Er-'

'Probably saw you snog me at breakfast. Merlin, you're both mental. Why aren't you fucking, anyway?'

I shush him angrily as we draw closer, pausing to allow a gaggle of Gryffindor fourth years to pass us. 'Because he ditched me in that passageway, remember? _I'm_ not going to chase him when _I_ made the sober first move. He's not _glaring_ at you anyway. Sirius is probably saying something that's annoying him. It's not so unlikely'.

Brant grunts. 'Yum. He can whisper sweet nothings to me all he wants - Black, Lupin,' he greets, as we stand suddenly in front of the two boys. Black grins wolfishly from Brant to me, grey eyes sharp. Lupin, on the other hand, considers Brant with an overly cool look. 'There's two missing from this litter,' drawls Brant.

Sirius kicks his long legs out and stands suddenly. 'They're in Zonko's. Hey, wanna join us at Broomsticks in a bit? I'll go grab Padfoot and Wormtail. Zaveri, wanna go and get the Bandini's? Yes? Yes. Good. Moony, look after the fair witch, will you?'

'We were actually going to go into Zonko's first,' I start, to which Brant merely tells me to shut up and turns sharply on his heel after a macho nod toward with Sirius. I throw Black a disgusted look as he grins at me and pats Remus on the shoulder with a little flourish.

'In a bit. Be good, Moony'.

I sigh and roll my eyes at his retreating back, eyes rolling to meet Lupin's equally deadpan stare. 'They're very subtle,' I say, moving to stand directly in front of him. 'Do you even _want_ to go to the Three Broomsticks?' He couldn't look _less_ like he wanted to go. There was nothing I wanted less than to be stuck in the company of a boy I fancied when he _didn't_ want to be in my company.

Lupin looks away from Black as he enters the joke shop, to turn back to me. He looks up, squinting against the bright cloudy sky and works his jaw as he looks at me. He looks less bad than he did last week - his bags were a little better and the small cut that had appeared on his jaw was healed. That flu or whatever the fuck he had must have really knocked it out of him.

I can relate. I was experiencing the period from fucking hell at that moment. _Ugh._ Men get a fucking cold and they act like the world is ending, whereas us poor women have gotta go about the day with our guts aren't pouring out of our vaginas. Fair? I think _not._ Bloody babies, they are.

There is a slight pause as Lupin sits slouched on that bench and stares up at me. After a good ten seconds of fiddling with his frayed sleeves, he coughs and kicks out a leg casually, his scuffed black chucks kicking a pebble toward me. 'I see you and Zaveri have made up'. I stare at him and cock a brow, wondering if Brant was _right._ Merlin, how dumb were people? Why was it so impossible for us to be friends without people thinking we were banging?

'Yes,' I reply slowly. 'That seems to _annoy_ you, Lupin'.

He narrows his eyes at me and cocks a brow. Bloody hell, was he bipolar? Yesterday I had the nice Lupin, now today I have to sassy one. Joy. 'Back to Lupin again?' he inquires. 'Okay, Leola'.

I scoff and cross my arms. What the _fuck_ was up with him?

There's a pause. 'Are you _with_ him?'

I nearly cry at the stupidity of it all.

' _Brant?'_ He averts his eyes and huffs. I'm not going to lie, I got a little thrill at the thought of Lupin being jealous. Jealous of someone else touching his snogging buddy, I guess. I am _wholly_ aware that Remus Lupin would only ever go for the Lily Evans types. 'If I was _with_ him,' I say. 'Would I be snogging _you_?' I try and stop my cheeks from burning, but the fuckers betray me. ' _Anyway,'_ I stress. 'Ain't exactly fair of you to be asking me that, is it? _You're_ the one who made it pretty clear that snogging of any kind was of the table, _despite_ the fact you were mighty fine with feeling me up in Potions yesterday-'

He huffs and glares, cheeks burning. _Ha!_ 'I did not _feel you up._ That's a _slight_ exaggeration, Lola'.

Having run out of anything to say, I merely huff out a very good comeback of, ' _Sure'._ Nice one, Lola. That'll sure show him. Then, in a moment of mouth speaking before brain can comprehend anything, I say, 'If you want to be the one kissing me, Remus, it's _your_ call. You didn't seem too keen on it last time, so don't have a hissy fit if I go kissing other guys or gals, alright?'

He opens his mouth to speak, amber eyes rolling to the heavens, when Black, Potter and Pettigrew step out into the cold with their hands all shoved deep into the coat pockets. For once, I'm thankful to see the bumbling band of morons. Saved me from a _mighty_ embarrassing rejection.

'Behaving, I hope?' grins Sirius, striding from the shop to the bench with long steps.

'You're a dick,' I grumbled, crossing my arms once again and wishing I'd worn something more than a grey jumper. When they did the temperature drop so grossly, anyway? Stupid weather. Stupid Scotland. Stupid _Remus._

Potter snorts and pushes his glasses further up his nose, whereas Pettigrew pulls some odd looking contraption from his pocket and begins showing it to the grumpy looking Lupin. 'She's got you there, Pads,' says James. I smile a little and turn back toward Tomes and Scrolls to spy out my little group of friends. Nada. Brilliant. 'Oi, Lily's heading toward the Broomsticks - reckon she'll sit with us if we invite Marlene and that too?'

I turn back to the four boys to be met with silence. Lupin seems genuinely interested in whatever Peter was showing him (probably some stupid prank they can attack Filch with), and James and Sirius are staring at me with two earnest sets of grey and hazel eyes. I blink. 'How the fuck would I know?' I answer, frowning and stuffing my hands under my armpits. Fuck the cold.

James shrugs. 'Dunno. You're a girl. What would you do?'

James Potter...asking for _advice_? What the honest fuck was happening to the world? I look to Sirius with a concerned look, to which he just flashes me a bright smile and chuckles. 'Prongs here is trying this new thing where he doesn't piss Evans off or scare her into hexing him with his... _colourful_ methods of asking her out. It's quite sweet, really'. He reached over to his best friend and ruffles Potter's already messy raven hair. Like the sap I seem to be turning into, my heart softens a little when I remember how, over the summer, the Potter family had taken in the rejected Sirius Black. 'Little man's finally learning the ways of women'.

Nice, remember? You're being _nice._ 'Er... _yeah_ , do it. She'll probably feel safer from your creepy as fuck advances if she has her friends with her'. I grin at his affronted look. 'I'm fucking with you. Merlin, where the hell are they? Bugger it, shall we head over? They know where we are'.

Sirius shakes his head with mock disappointment and tuts. 'You Slytherins,' he breathes dramatically. 'So fickle'.

Pettigrew guffaws _rather_ unattractively and stuffs his Zonko's purchase into his pocket. 'Double-crossing snake,' he titters, round cheeks flushes from the cold. I pull a face at him. 'Oi, can we _go_ then? Rosmerta's probably wondering where I am'.

Potter slings an arm around Peter's shoulders and starts forward. ' _Sure_ she is, Wormtail. Oi, c'mon Moony'.

We walk briskly toward the pub, the silence between Remus and I halfway toward frosty. I glance over at him as he Black says something to him about Quidditch, to which Lupin rolls his eyes and sighs. Awkward. I have made things _so_ awkward. Why. Why do I do this? Over a bloody _guy._ Brant is going to laugh his arse off when I tell him. _Merlin, I'm pathetic._

'Why do you call yourselves those dumb nicknames?'

The words are hardly even out of my mouth before Black is giving me an affronted glare over Remus's chest, and Peter and James are sharing a look in front of me. 'They are _not_ dumb. They are _witty'._

I blink and step idly over a small hole in the road. 'Are they?' What the hell do they even _mean?_

Catching onto my sarcastic air, Sirius opens his mouth with a mock annoyed look, to which Remus cuts in quickly and says, 'Will the both of you stop your bickering? Prongs, I think I can see Lily through the window'. Weird, but okay? What's the fucking deal with asking about those dumb names?

 _That_ draws Potter's attention somewhere else entirely as we duck into the warm and crowded pub. As per usual on a Hogsmeade trip, The Three Broomsticks is packed full of students and a few teachers. The smell of burning firewood and butterbeer wafts through the air warmly, and I thank the heavens I was born a witch. What do muggle teenagers even _do?_

'Go and ask if they want to sit with us'. I only realise that Potter is talking to me when he nudges me in the side and nods over to Evans, McKinnon, Lavier and Meadowes. The Gryffindor girls were grouped round a table in the corner, near the merrily burning fire. As per usual, Evans stuck out like a sore thumb with her lovely mop of bright red hair. How is life even fair? All I was cursed with was a bloody rats nest on top of my head.

'What? _No'._ Did he not understand that I was a _Slytherin?_ Whilst McKinnon and I shared a few smiles here and there over our shared love of weed and booze, the others girls seemed to think me a hot mess. Well, Evans _had_ been a bit more lax with the disproving glares...'They don't _like_ me. Get Remus to do it. Everyone likes him'. I roll my eyes at Potter's dramatic whine.

'Lola!' he pleads.

Peter huffs out an annoyed sigh. 'Can we just sit down? I want a hot chocolate'.

'Stop thinking with your stomach, Wormtail'.

'I am _not-'_

'You are bloody well are. Prongs here is woeful as anything, and all you're thinking about is hot bloody chocolate. Well-'

'Oh, fucking hell'. _You're being nice, remember?_ ' _Fine_ ,' I snap. Potter grins at me with a toothy smile and nudges his friends toward the bar. 'You're bloody pathetic,' I remind him, to which he waggles his fingers at me. Remus's eyes linger on me a moment longer as they all pull away, a thoughtful look on his face. That soon dissolves when I stick my finger up at him and smile. Thank Merlin, he gets the joke and rolls his eyes with a badly suppressed grin.

So I take it that means we're ignoring what happened, as we seem to do with everything else? Cool.

'Here's goes nothing,' I mutter, starting for the table of sixth year girls. McKinnon clocks my approach first and smiles over her butterbeer, before nudging the animatedly talking Evans in the arm. The latter girl perks up and turns towards me, raising a perfect brow. As I stop in front of their table, behind Alice Lavier, I cough and smile. _Nice, remember?_ 'Er, hello there'.

Evans smiled tentatively. 'Hi, Leola. Are you alright?'

I wave a hand. 'Yeah, yeah. The others were wondering if you wanted to join tables?' I wave a dismissive hand toward where the boys are gathered about the bar. Evans leans back slightly, clocks Potter, and cocks a brow at me. 'A few of my Ravenclaw friends will be joining us too. Potter has promised to keep his paws off of your...er, _you_ '.

 _Nice one._

'Will your friend Endrew be there?' inquires Marlene, a twinkle in her eyes. Huh, maybe that old crush of hers wasn't so old after all. _Endrew's going to be over the bloody moon._

I smile cheekily and nod. 'He will in about five minutes, yes'.

Lavier nods her brown head. 'Frank and his friends will be here soon. That sounds lovely, shall we push a few free tables together?'

In about two minutes, we have done just that. Evans looks quite unsure about the whole ordeal, and I see her casting glances over to where I know the Marauders to be. I mean, I can understand her not wanting to spend too much time with Potter. The boy was _manic_ when it came to her. He'd once sent her a howler that proclaimed his love to her in fifteen different languages. One of them was _troll._ It was fucked _up._

At that moment, Frank Longbottom and a few of his Hufflepuff friends pile into the pub, scarves wrapped tightly around their mouths. I'm almost _happy_ when the Marauders wander back over, drinks in hand, to save me from the bombardment of people I'd never cared to get to know before. That's...that's pretty sad, isn't it? Merlin, I'm a hopeless case.

'Here you go'. I turn and nearly drop the butterbeer that is thrust into my hands by tall Lupin. Has he always been this tall? Do these boys just keep growing? 'Before you say thank you, it's from Prongs. James. As a thank you'. I blink up at him, watching as he scratches his lightly stubbled jaw and blinks lazily at me. 'Sorry for being a prat'.

I smile lightly. 'Me too. Hormones, probably. I'm a right bitch when the crimson wave hits'. I wince, the mortification settling in swiftly. 'I don't know why I say these things. I'm so sorry'.

He actually laughs at that; a laugh that makes my stomach warm and my my cheeks flush. Who the fuck has a hot _laugh?_ Remus Lupin, apparently. Bloody hell, I'm a lost cause. As I settle into the seat beside Lupin as he does the same, I smile at McKinnon to my left. She raises her pint to mine and drinks heartily, leaning forward to join the conversation that Sirius had started about his 'dumb brother joining the Quidditch team'.

'Bloody Slytherins,' sighs Frank. 'Bugger, _sorry_ , Lola'.

I grin and wave a hand as the attention of the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs falls on me. Nope. Where's Brant? _I need Brant._ _They're all so...nice._ 'It's alright. You're pretty much right, anyway'.

They laugh. They fucking _laugh._

Suck a dick, Brant. I can _totally_ be nice.

* * *

 **Next chapter will carry on from here and go onto some more interesting stuff! Thank you for the reviews guys they're amazing!**


	10. I Am Built To Be Covered In Glitter

_The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud_ \- **Coco Chanel**

* * *

 _October 1st 1976_

 _12:16 PM_

* * *

'Pinch, punch, first day of the month!'

Brant turns slowly to glare at me, his dark brow cocked and his brown eyes exasperated. I grin at him widely, drawing my hand away from his arm, having just given him a _hilarious_ pinch and punch. 'Don't look at me like that, moody. Crazy it's October already though, right?'

He leans back against his seat in the library, books spread out in front of him, as I sit in the seat to his left. Sixth year, after the first two weeks, had hit all of us like a train. Coming into the library, I'd seen even the Marauders and a few other Gryffindors leaning over a rolls of parchment and thick text books with worried looks on their faces. After that day at Hogsmeade (in which I had found out that Edith had walked into a shelf and broken her nose, the reason for everyone's disappearance), my interaction with the boys had flagged a little bit.

There was no _time_ to socialise. Sixth year _sucked._ There had, of course, been comments from Black here and there. Still, my snappy comment to Lupin must have worked, because he seemed to be just a little less friendly with me than usual. _Well done, Lola. You scared him off with your bitchy ways._

Sighing and stretching his arms above his head, Brant yawns and clicks the bones in his fingers. 'Crazy indeed, my dear. I was so excited to have free periods this year, but all we seem to be doing is _studying'._ He looked miserably down at his roll of parchment, shoulders sagging. 'Have you started the Potions essay yet?'

I nod and throw my quill onto the table and dump my bag onto the floor. With a sigh, I lean back into my chair and look at him. 'Yeah. _So_ fucking hard. I have an Astronomy one due the same day. Sinistra, the sadist, wants _five feet_ of parchment on the diameter, density and surface gravity of Jupiter. Like, what the fuck? How am I supposed to know that?'

With that, Brant plonks his forehead onto the table before him and groans. Somewhere in the depths of the library, I could have sworn I heard Pince snap, ' _Shush!'_ Weird woman. Her relationship with the books in the Hogwarts library was both weird and worrying. 'I just can't be bothered,' Brant said, lifting his head slightly. 'Do you know that I haven't smoked since that Gryffindor party, _or_ drank?'

At that, I give him a mildly horrified look. 'Oh my God. _Same'._ I shake my head. 'What has become of us? All we bloody do is _study._ I haven't seen Edith in _three_ days outside of classes, you know. And Endrew looks close to having a mental breakdown. I heard Alice Lavier actually started crying from stress in Muggle Studies yesterday. They had to pull Longbottom out of Herbology to calm her down. That's child _cruelty'._

Brant nodded in understanding, a dead serious look on his face. 'I thought the O.W.L's were bad. Mum wasn't wrong...N.E.W.T's are going to kill us'.

I nod and sigh. 'Oh, your sister passed me on the staircase earlier, actually. She stepped aside and let me pass first. I almost thought she was going to push me down the stairs when I wasn't looking'.

Brant snorts and flashes white teeth. 'Wouldn't surprise me, y'know'.

I scoff and sigh, resting my head in my hand as I stare lazily at him. Brant does the same, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. 'Tell you what,' I say slowly. 'If we do a bunch of work today and go to Potions later, why don't we sneak out after curfew and get drunk by the Black Lake? I have a bottle of Firewhiskey that dad snuck into my bag before I left-'

'How is your dad so _cool?_ Mum would _end_ me if she saw me drinking anything like that with her knowing'.

I scoff. 'My dad is the furthest thing from _cool._ I swear he just does it to piss off mum, to be honest. Anyway, what d'you say, Zaveri?' It doesn't take a lot of convincing, of course. He looks at me with a blank look that says 'what the fuck do you think?' before grinning and brandishing his black quill once again. 'Solid day of work, then drinking by the Black Lake and trying to befriend the squid'.

'It's going to eat you one of these days,' says Brant, eyes now fixed on the parchment before him.

I scoff and _accio_ a Potions book from his own pile with my brandished wand, grinning at his affronted look. 'I'll have you know, I saw it swim past the windows in the Common Room yesterday. Could have sworn that it winked at me'. He snorts and I smile, settling back into flipping open the thick Potions textbook and revising the method for, well, whatever the fuck the essay Slughorn had set us what about.

* * *

'I mean, I'm really starting to get this whole drag queen culture thing, y'know?' The both of us duck into the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, Brant yapping on about some muggle magazine he had read over the summer holidays. 'I reckon I would look really fit if I wore make up. This skin is _flawless'._ I crack up as Brant flourishes an elegant hand against his dark cheekbone and strikes a pose. 'I am _built_ to be covered in glitter'.

I stop mid-laugh, noting that the table in which Edith and Endrew normally take up is oddly empty. 'Huh, that's weird'. Brant shrugs as we slide into our respective seats and slide our bags underneath the wooden table. Around us, the classroom fills up with the usual N.E.W.T students of the increasingly fucking difficult Potions class. I have half a mind to tell Charlie to just give up now. Mum and dad had already written to me asking me to help him with his Astronomy and Transfiguration homework. _Meh, I'll send him Brant's way._

Kicking back and leaning against the table behind us, where the twins usually sat, Brant shrugs off his blue crested black robes. 'Edith's probably dragging Endrew from their study break, you know what he's like. I think Longbottom was tutoring them in Herbology or some shit. Melrin knows with those two. Edith's nose is always going to have a bump in it now, you know-'

'Oi, Frank!' The dark haired and round faced boy looks up from his place in front of the Marauders and beside some blonde haired Ravenclaw girl. Huh, the one who was sitting next to Brant a month ago...I really need to learn these peoples names. 'Have you seen Edith or Endrew anyway, dude?' I ask.

He blink his brown eyes over to me and shakes his head. 'No, sorry, Lola-'

'Need to keep a closer eye on your pets, you do,' says Sirius a cheeky grin on his handsome face as he leans lazily back in his seat. His dark hair is slicked back, and I have half a mind to walk over their mess the bloody locks up.

I roll my eyes at him, ignoring how annoyingly handsome he looks with his red and gold tie loose. Brant was probably frothing at the mouth behind me. 'Shut up, Black'.

'She called you Black, mate,' says James, shaking his head from beside Sirius. His quill is stuck behind is ear, making it look as if he has a fabulous feather sticking from his messy black hair. From the table to his left, Lily Evans is giving him a deadpan look. 'We've lost her again. The Ice Queen returtneth'.

I bite back a smile and shake my head. 'You're both idiots'. James holds his heart, whilst Black turns away from me in mock disgust. Briefly, my eyes flicker toward Lupin. He'd been so _quiet_ lately; probably to do with what I'd said to him in Hogsmeade a month ago. I had scared him off, finally. _Whatever. Like I care._ His head was bowed toward the table as he scribbled something very slowly on a piece of parchment. Beside him, Pettigrew had his head buried in his arms and appeared to be sleeping.

In that split second, he turned to look over his shoulder at me as if he had been listening the whole time. The heavy bags under his eyes and paleness of his skin had me stumped for a moment. I mean, he was looking fucking _knackered._ Even his usually pristine uniformed seemed rumpled and sagging against his form. He blinked quickly away from my gaze, head snapping back round to stare hard at his writing.

Shaking my head, I turn my head back toward Brant. 'I wonder where they _are_ -'

At that moment, Slughorn comes bursting into the classroom in a display of big smiles and a stack of papers. _Ugh, the essays. I'd forgotten we'd be getting them back._ Honestly, if I had fucked up on that one, there was no way I could do the one he had recently set for us to do. Maybe I could drop out of school and become a hermit in the Scottish wilderness...yeah...

You'll be happy to know that I nearly cry with relief when I see that I got an _Exceeds Expectations._ 'I love you, sir,' I tell him, ignoring Brant's smug smile at his own _Outstanding_ mark. Slughorn goes a little red and huffs out a laugh from beneath his thick moustache before moving on to Black and Potter, both of whom high five and whoop.

The space behind Brant and I remains oddly empty, even as Slughorn informs us to turn to page 146 of _Advanced Potion Making_ and prep to make the Hiccoughing Solution. Without quite meaning to, my eyes drift toward Remus as we heat up our cauldron with the basic ingredients Slughorn had presented us with, with a flick of his wand. His shoulders seem tense, and the air around him seems to buzz with energy with the way he holds himself. Every inch of his form seems stiff as he leans of the potion. I watch, probably not too subtly, as Peter pats his arm lightly goes about sprinkling some Mandrake Root into their potion. _Odd._ Pettigrew never does any work.

'Can you stop eye-fucking Lupin and do some work please, Lola'. I snap back to Brant and glare at him. 'Your thirst is real, babe. You need to pounce on his dick already'.

'Can't,' I grumble. 'F _...Feelings._ Bad'.

Brant stops with stirring the potion and considers me with a concerned look. 'Are you part troll now?'

'Ha, _ha'._ I cast a glance up at the shut door and frown. 'Where the fuck are they, man? I'm...I'm _worried'._ Something of which does not happen very often, I assure you. I just can't imagine Edith _ever_ being this late to class. Sure, she's an idiot sometimes, but she's a fucking punctual idiot. 'And they say _I'm_ heartless'.

Brant snorts. 'Wait, you _have_ a heart?'

I smack his arm. 'You're just a fucking barrel of laughs today, aren't you?' I peer into the Potion and frown. 'Huh. It's not turning the right colour. Book says we need more Salamander Blood if that happens. Shall I...?' Brant waves a hand dully in my general direction, to which I scoff at and take as a yes. His forehead is damp with sweat from the steaming potion, and as I vacate my seat I see the blonde girl working with Longbottom give Brant a sideways glance.

Huh, I'll have to report that to him later.

I pause before sliding from between tables, shrugging off my black robes and then my grey jumper. _Sweaty. Gross._ Why did the under shirts have to be _white_? As I start for the ingredients cupboard, I hear Black mutter something and Remus snap something in return. _That_ sends my attention back toward the four of them, but not before once again catching Lupin's dark gaze.

Once again, he looks away quickly. Black merely catches my eye and winks before turning back to his and Potter's potion. I roll my eyes and walk lazily toward the cupboard, once again thinking how odd the group of boys could be. It wasn't a secret that they all looked after each other, often Lupin more than any of them. His Aunt always seemed to be sick if he wasn't, so I guess the boys took sympathy on him.

Kinda... _cute_ , I guess.

Upon entering the empty closet, I begin searching among the array of small and large bottles slowly as the door swings half shut behind me. Spider legs...nope. And _ew._ Who the hell would want to be a Potions Master, they have to handle grossest shit. Huh, knowing Snape that's probably what he would want to be. The freak _loved_ potion making. I'd seen his hooked nose sniffing at his own merrily bubbling potion just before. _Shudder._

'Eyeball...fucking _gross-'_

The sudden rise and fall of the light student chatter from behind me alerts me that someone had entered the closet with me. I stand and turn, embarrassed that my butt had been sticking up. To both my elation and embarrassment, it's Remus bloody Lupin. Is it weird that I think the rumpled look suits him, and...oh. Oh, he's looking at me funny. He looks ill, but the look he's giving me...nah. He can't be. 'Talking to yourself?' he drawls, and his voice is lower somehow.

If this is what he sounds like every time he's ill, I am _totally_ cool with that.

I blink and look down at the eyeball in a jar that I am holding, then back up to Lupin. His hair is messy - _delightfully_ so. Plus, the bags under his eyes are worryingly worse, but still he holds himself with that stiffness. I'm struck by his boldness when I catch his gaze flicker down over my form briefly, before darting back up to my slowly reddening face. _No! Merlin, why does this boy make me blush so much? Pathetic, Leola. Really._

He takes a single step into the closet, the door closing slowly with him. I cough and lower the bloody eyeball. 'Er. Yeah'.

He cocks a dark brow, amber eyes dark and amused. 'I haven't seen much of you lately'.

'Er. _No'._

He chuckles lightly and reaches down to pluck the eyeball jar from my hand, stepping closer once again. I breath in deeply, feeling like a pile of very useless troll dung. _Charm him!_ 'You probably won't need this, Lola. You'll kill whoever drinks your potion if you add _this_ to it. Merlin, even Pete knows that'. He smiles a sideways smile at me as he places the potion back onto the shelf.

I glare at him and cross my arms. 'I know _that,_ Remus. I was just _looking_ at it'.

He cocks a brow tiredly. 'Looking at an eyeball?'

'... _Yes_. Shut up'. I grin as he smiles lazily, and I am suddenly struck by how I had, perhaps, _missed_ talking to him. Had I ever had a feeling like that with a guy? No. No, I had not. 'You seem...wound up. Are you okay?' I don't mean for my voice to sound sarcastic, but I really don't think I have the ability to ask if someone is okay seriously. Just one of the many wonders of being shit at showing affection.

The air is thick with tension, and I fucking _love it._

At that, his eyes dart to the right nervously. His body language, on the other hand, is a different story. He steps forward once again, eyes settling on my face as he licks his lips. He looks...worried. His brow is crinkled slightly, and at this proximity I can see the tightness in his pronounced jaw and the narrowing of his eyes. 'Fine. Just...tired'.

I breath in deeply and stare up at him, very aware of the dozen or so students just outside that wooden door. Still, that makes it even _naughtier,_ right? Fabian and I had once done it in one of the broom closets. It was _great._ But even that rush...it just seems really fucking dumb compared to the heat and rush I feel when presented with a rumpled and tired looking Remus Lupin.

How fucking poetic.

I'm not sure whether he grabs my jaw with both of his warm hands and kisses me because I had pointed out it was _his_ turn to make the move, but I am _not_ complaining. As if my body had been waiting for him to pounce, my hands travel to bury themselves in his soft and thick hair as his lips moves slowly against mine, warm and wet and just...just fucking _good._

The way he kisses me then reminds me so much of the last time we kissed, just a month ago, behind that tapestry. He lowers his hands from my bundle of curls to land on my waist, turning me around with a swift movement and pressing me against the rows of ingredients. They rattle behind me at the soft movement and I laugh into his mouth, breathing him in.

My heart thuds in my chest. I move from his lips, kissing the light blonde stumble along his jawline and breathing hard against his neck. He, apparently, wants none of that. Instead, he lowers his hands from my waist and presses both against my behind, pushing our lowers halves together with a kind of desperation. I press my mouth against his, swallowing the wonderful and so un-Remus-like groan.

He kisses hard and fast, hand lowering underneath the fabric of my dress to press against my bottom through my tights. _Is this happening? What the fuck? What the fuck?_ This was the closest we'd been, and with this thoughts in my mind I reach between us, breaking out kiss to breath hotly against his mouth, and reach for him through the fabric of his trousers.

' _Fuck,_ Lola...' he groans. I watch him, with his eyes screwed shut, as I palm him briefly. He's _beautiful._ How fucking dumb is that? But he _is._ And from what I can feel, from the hardness of him...he ain't too lacking either. My stomach pools with heat as he presses his mouth to mine once again, _grinding_ against my fucking hand and-

A scrape of a chair from outside seems to remind the both of us exactly _where_ we are, and when Remus leaps away from me he looks flushed, mortified and very horny. The look _suits_ him.

He opens his mouth, pupils blown wide, but I cut over him. 'I know,' I gasp. 'You shouldn't have done that. Whatever. Fuck, when the hell did you undo my buttons?' I blink down at my half exposed black bra and do up the buttons of my white shirt quickly. 'That was...I'm gonna be blunt. That was super fucking hot. What brought _that_ on?'

He looks pained. Huh, at least his hard on is going down. 'I don't know. You just...' he screws his eyes shut and breathes in deeply through his nose. 'You seem to have that affect on me, Lola Leola'. He opens his eyes and half smiles. 'That white shirt hides _nothing,_ you know'.

I blush and grin. 'Fucking pervert'. I want to walk forward and kiss him again. I want to ask him why he looks so tired. I want to ask him why he's sick so often. I would have asked him this, maybe, if Brant hadn't thrown open the closet door and regarded the two of us with a momentarily judging look. Mentally brushing whatever he was thinking aside, he shakes his as Lupin jumps even further from me, before looking me hard in the eye.

'Slughorn says we've gotta go and see Dumbledore, Lo. It's about Edith and Endrew'.

* * *

 **Thought you guys deserved a treat after so long with no action! The reviews are amazing, I love you all so much! I hope you're like the direction of the story, not long now until out story takes some twists!**


	11. To Mr Bandini

_Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away_ \- **Maya Angelou**

* * *

 _October 1st 1976_

 _7:32 PM_

* * *

My fingers curl around the bottle of firewhiskey, legs drawn out in front of me and black tights balls up somewhere to my right. We're both in casual clothes now, hardly protected against the chill of the night. The water of the Black Lake is near fucking freezing, but the feel of it surrounding my toes as I push my feet into the water and the muddy sand is oddly refreshing. Taking a deep swig, I hold back a very embarrassing gag as the burning liquid of firewhiskey slides down my throat.

Beside me, Brant sighs and draws his legs up and rests his elbows on his knees. Silently, I pass him the bottle, to which he takes a long hard swing and clunks the bottle to the ground. 'To Mr Bandini,' he says dully, head turning slightly toward mine with a dull smile on his face.

'Fucked up,' I mutter and shaking my head and pushing my feet further into the cold water. 'So fucking fucked up'. I suppose, really, it' time for a kind of flashback, right? That'll help clear things up...probably help to understand why Brant and I are being so pathetic. It's a fair reason, I promise you. A sad reason, really. A reason that still makes me feel quite numb, even hours after finding out.

* * *

 _I'm still boggled over the the fact the password to the Headmasters office was bloody_ candy cane, _to really take in the sombre look on Dumbledore's face, even as Brant and I settle into the two large chairs on the opposite side of his desk. The room is huge and beautiful, filled with trinkets that tick away around us and fill the room with noise. Much like every time I somehow I find myself in Dumbledore's office, I stare longingly at the beautiful phoenix until the old wizard settled back into his seat opposite us._

 _'Mister Zaveri,' Dumbledore says slowly. He has an awesome voice, you know? So calm and knowing. 'Miss Leola. I'm sorry for pulling you from what I am sure was a very riveting Potions lesson, but I thought it best for the two of you to hear the news before it inevitably travels through the school like wildfire. Youth does seem to have a way of finding out even the most secret of secrets'. His half moon spectacles catch in the dim light of the office, blue eyes sparkling from behind them._

 _His words have me furrowing my brow. 'Are Edith and Endrew okay?' My hand curles involuntarily around my wand in panic, fingers running over the smoothness of the Dogwood. 'It is about them, right?'_

 _'Let the Headmaster_ talk, _Lo,' said Brant gently. Far too gently for the way he normally spoke to him. Oh Merlin, he was_ worried. _I nod to the Headmaster in apology, but he merely smiles a small smile and carries on._

 _'You'll find that the Bandini twins are quite well physically, Miss Leola. However, they were taken home just before third period after discovering some quite terrible news'. At that, he sighs and folds his thin hands before him, the glittering robes he wore catching at the light. 'I am very sorry to report that Mr Bandini was killed last night in what appears to be a very pointed attack at the Bandini family at the hands of Lord Voldemort. Mrs Bandini is quite safe, I assure you. Though, of course-'_

 _The rest of his speech is drowned out as buzzing seems to fill my ears._

* * *

'They have to catch the bastards that did it,' I sneer, snatching the bottle back once again. 'There was three of them, right? I bet every single one of them has a kid in my House. I should-'

Brant nudges me in the side and throws an arm around my shoulder. 'You should do _nothing,_ Lola. They probably targeted Mr Bandini because he's a _blood traitor_. You need to _watch out._ It's getting...worse. Way worse than I ever thought it would. Merlin, I can't believe he's _dead._ They're going to be fucking distraught...' I move closer against him, ducking my head to press closer against his tall form. 'Just thank fuck Mrs Bandini managed to get away'.

I nod and blink away the stinging at my eyes. What use was I if I was crying? 'Do you think they'll come back to school?'

Brant nods, chin resting slightly atop my head. 'Yeah, I do. Hogwarts is the safest place in Britain right now, babe. Dumbledore knows it and so does You-Know-Who-' Brant shakes his head and hisses out a sigh. 'Merlin, I just want to call him by his name, you know? It's just a fucking _name._ Not saying it makes him so much more more horrifying-'

'He _is_ horrifying,' I say, pushing my legs further out and submerging my ankles in the icy water. 'He's got so many followers _everywhere._ We're smack bang in the middle of a fucking _war._ All of this because he wants blood purity...that's so _fucked up'._ The firewhiskey is beginning to cloud my mind a little, numbing the edges of it in a way that I can't help but enjoy. 'Merlin, their _house_ was attacked'.

'I know'.

I shake my head, cradling the firewhiskey. 'I don't even know what to say to them in a letter...how are you supposed to say _sorry you dad was brutally murdered by Death Eaters._ Fucking hell. _Fuck'._

'I know,' Brant repeats. 'Dumbledore's doing everything he can out there. His name is in the _Prophet_ every single day; you've seen. Politically, he is wiping the floor with any wimp who doesn't know what to do with You-Know-Who's uprising in the Ministry. At least we've got dudes like him'. After a beat he says, 'Shit like this makes me want to become an Auror'.

I hum and nod and take another long sip of firewhiskey, eyes darting up to look at the full moon that is slowly rising into the autumn sky. 'It's okay we didn't write to them after leaving Dumbledore's office, right? I just...they're probably not wanting to talk to anyone right now - which _I get._ I just don't want them to think we don't, y'know, _care'._

Brant tugs at my hair with the arm that's wrapped around my shoulders. 'They know we care, dope'.

'Yeah...yeah, I know'. I sigh and go to stand up suddenly, legs wobbling and a giggle escaping my mouth before I can stop it. 'Let's walk. C'mon. I can't just _sit_ here and think about it over and over. I'll get too angry and then I'll go back to the dungeons and hex one of my lovely Housemates. Or all of them. Maybe not Jone, actually. He's alright'. More than alright, really. Charlie, Elliot and Jone were the oddest couple of friends Hogwarts had seen in a while. It seemed Jone was slowly taking my place as the Slytherin who stuck out like a sore thumb.

Brant sighs and clambers to his feet on long legs that put mine to envy. 'Yeah. Yeah, let's go for a wander. Remember when we used to go to the Shrieking Shack when-'

I give him a soft glare and hook my arm threw his his and pass him the firewhiskey. 'Then it got names the fucking Shrieking Shack in second year. I am not _going anywhere_ near the place, especially when drunk. Slytherins enjoy not dying; do I look like the stupidly brave Potter and Black to you?' If Edith was here, she would _definitely_ agree with me.

'Nah. You do look stupid though. It's not _really_ haunted'.

'Do you _want to_ get into another argument with me, Zaveri?' I point out, smiling slightly at he winces against the gulp of firewhiskey he takes. I prefer this type of conversation. Call me selfish, but drawing my mind away from what Edith and Endrew are probably going through feels a hell of a lot better than worrying so much. There's _nothing_ Brant and I can do to help them, and that feels _really_ shit.

'Hell no,' says Brant. 'Forbidden Forest?' he supplies.

'Er, _centaurs,'_ I shoot back. 'Not to mention Hagrid. That mutt of his seems to see everything-'

At that, Brant huffs out an annoyed sigh and throws me a deadpan look. 'Is there anything you _would_ like to do, your majesty? I am _trying_ to draw our attention away from the shit show that is the outside world. You know that all anyone is going to be talking about tomorrow is Edith and 'Drew, and it's going to be _horrible_ -'

I blink and press my forehead against his arm, an affectionate move that seems to shut him up. No matter how much Brant and I argue or bicker, I will always know with a smug kind of clarity that I have that boy wrapped around my finger. Pulling my face away from his arm, I sigh. 'It's their birthdays next week you know. _Merlin_ '. He doesn't reply and I don't force him to.

The grounds of Hogwarts are finally dark around us, only illuminated from the lights of the castle and the high moon in the sky. We meander along the Black Lake, curving round toward the castle once again and starting for the plain of grass beyond the greenhouses toward the Forbidden Forest. 'You know,' I say, swigging once again the firewhiskey. 'I'm very drunk. Do you have a smoke?'

Brant snatches the bottle from me and grins. 'Cigarette or weed?' I give him a funny look, to which he snorts. 'A beautiful bod ain't all I'm packing beneath this jumper, my dear'.

I roll my eyes and hold my free hand toward him as we trip our way across the grounds. In the distance, I hear a low howl break through the silence of the night. 'Share a joint?'

'Share a joint,' Brant agrees, unhooking our arms to delve into his pockets and brandish a ready rolled joint. He pauses to hold it between his lips, as I brandish my own wand and mutter, ' _incendio!'_ Thankfully my magic works just right, because the flame that erupts from my wand is just small enough to get the roll of paper burning. Trust me when I say I've had singed eyebrows from that going wrong before, and my eyebrows are my pride and _joy._

We begin wandering again, passing the joint between us every so often as the familiar feeling of being high as hell fills my brain. 'Wait, who's on prefect duty tonight?' I ask slowly, passing Brant the joint. 'It's not Evans, is it? I think she's actually starting to think I'm _not_ a dick. Fuck, it's not _Rookwood_ is it? I mean, even for a Slytherin, he _really_ does not seem to like me. I mean, I did accidentally throw up on him one time-'

' _Literally_ how the fuck am I supposed to know who's on duty? Maybe it's your boyfriend-'

I choke rather delightfully on my next drag. 'Remus...is _not_ my boyfriend. Shut up. And I don't think he is, you know. He looked quite rough today-'

Brant laughs. 'Yeah, _rough_ is the word that we'll go with. How long were you guys groping each other before I came to interrupt you with _very_ terrible news. You're a bad person, you know that?'

I gape at him. ' _I_ didn't know what had happened-'

Suddenly, Brant is throwing the joint to the ground and covering my mouth before I can so much as yell at him. He lowers his head to mine as I struggle, telling me to _shut up_ with a very low voice. Confused and trusting him, I relax and try and look out into the darkness of the chilly grounds, wondering what the fuck it was that had freaked him out so much.

And then, as Brant raises his stiff hand to point, I see it.

It's large. Like, pretty fucking _big._ Tall and lanky, even from the distance that I could see it at. From behind it comes another animal, this one short with antlers. It nudges the larger of the two, almost as if it it is impatient. The large...the _other one_ hangs at the edge of the Forest, its large and long head thrown back as it stares hard at the sky above us.

Where the full moon is.

' _Werewolf_ ,' breathes Brant, breath hot against my suddenly freezing cold cheek. 'Fuck. _Fuck'._

Fear seeps into me then. The kind of fear that I had never in my life felt. The panic wasn't exactly helped by the weed that was fucking with my mind, nor the firewhiskey that seemed to make everything go much slower. Brant and I stand stock still, pressed against each other at every angle as if this would help us disappear into thin air. There seems to be some unspoken agreement between us to _not fucking move._

I reach slightly, hand linking with Brant's as we watch the werewolf crouch low to the ground and butt its head against the stag. Yeah...yeah, it's definitely a stag. It seems to be focused at something on the ground. That something, apparently, causes the werewolf to dart into the forest with a speed that sends me nearly falling to the ground. If it had come for us...we wouldn't have been able to outrun it.

' _Go,'_ Brant breathes.

We _run._ The bottle of firewhiskey drops to the ground with a dull thud as we spring across the ground, not caring if we get caught by prefect or teacher. My heart hammers, thinking that perhaps it had seen us, perhaps it was going to chase us down. _Hogwarts. What the fuck is it doing here? How the fuck did it get here? Fuck._ Who _is it?_

We reach the courtyard and slow down immediately, breath coming in short gasps as Brant clutches onto my hand and drags me toward the large doors. He waits for a moment, jaw set and hand resting against the hard surface as he catches his breath. After a short pause of me staring at him, he nods and yanks the door open with a flick of his wand, looks left and right, and then drags me in behind him.

' _Kitchens,'_ I gasp, and he nods and we trip in that direction, cautious for Filch or any prefects.

The moment we reach the painting and tickle the pear, we clamber through the portrait hole and stagger toward one of the many tables. The warmth of the kitchen hits us like a well needed fucking hug and Merlin almighty I am _so high and drunk._

 _'What the fuck just happened?!'_ I yelp, throwing myself into one of the waiting chairs and scaring the shit of a House Elf. 'Hot chocolate - _please!'_ It darts away from me in fright, yelping and nodding on its way.

Brant holds his head in his hands and stares at me, brown eyes bloodshot and wide. 'Did we just see a fucking _werewolf_?'

'Yup!'

'Merlin. _Merlin._ Today is fucked up. Today is _so fucking up'._

I breathe in deeply and press my palms against the table. 'It's cool. We're _cool._ How the fuck did it get on the grounds? Doesn't the castle have some super insane protection charm on it?' I shake my head and jump when the scared little House Elf appears beside me again, shaking as it hands me my hot chocolate. I duck to accept it, thanking it far too loudly as it scuttles away.

' _Yes._ That's fucked. Fuck...dude...wait...' Brant stares at me, wide eyed and dazed. I swallow the hot chocolate and stare back. The staring pretty much goes on for a good minute. 'What if it's a teacher. Or a _student'._

I stare at him, mouth open. 'Fuck, do you reckon?'

'Dumbys the kinda dude to be cool with that and protect them, don't you think?' Brant points out, reaching across the table to curl a hand around my mug of hot chocolate. He takes a long gulp. 'That's _bad-_ ' he cuts himself off and rolls his eyes at me. 'Sorry, I forgot I was talking to _Miss Werewolf and Giant Friend of the Year'._

I stare at him, quite gormless. '...What?'

Brant throws me an exasperated look that doesn't really fit with the tone of the conversation. 'Dude, last year. Defence Against the Dark Arts class. You and Yaxley had a verbal battle across the classroom about the rights of werewolves and giants. Is this seriously not ringing any bells? Black looked like he wanted to kiss you when you backed him up after Bulstrode and Yaxley shot him down when he said 'werewolves are people too', or whatever-'

I click my fingers at him, face lighting up. 'Oh, yeah! _Fuckin'_ amen. Black and I owned that bitch'. I sober quickly and blink at the hot chocolate Brant slides back toward me. 'They're bigger than I imaged they'd be. It could have torn us apart'.

Brant shrugs one shoulder. 'I mean...don't you think it's _bad_ if it is a student? It's not exactly _safe,_ is it?' He blanches at my blank look. 'Fuck, okay, sorry. It's just...werewolves are manic, Lo. They-'

'Bitch, I know what they are. The fuck you think so many of the werewolf packs out there are going to You-Know-Who's side? They have nowhere else to go because of attitudes like _that,_ mister'. I click him a pointed look and sip idly at my hot chocolate, the voice of my father pouring out of my mouth. My breath has slowed somewhat, and the warmth from the kitchens and the drink combined have calmed my wired nerves.

Brant snaps his mouth shut and blinks once. 'Shit. You told me'.

'Yes, I fucking did'. I straighten my back and blink blearily at the table top, a frown appearing on my face. 'Oh, fuck. I left my shoes at the Lake'.

* * *

 **Holy sardines, Batman! I wonder who the werewolf is? Now, don't hate on Brant for having that view. He's not saying he's against werewolves, he's just saying it's dangerous. Of course, we have Lola to educate him on that. Net chapter should be up tomorrow. Thankfully the twins are okay, though! Couldn't dare harm my Bandini's.**

 **Thank you so much for the reviews, guys! You're honestly being so epic with the feedback it's making me liiiiive.**


	12. You Need A Map To Get Around The School?

_When the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful_ \- **Malala Yousafzai**

* * *

 _October 3rd 1976_

 _8:45 PM_

* * *

Two days after the Worst Day Ever, and _that_ is when news of Mr Bandini breaks.

The first thing I see that morning at breakfast is the family portrait I recognise to be hung in their dining room printed across the front page of the _Daily Prophet._ Without so much as a word to Jone beside me other than a quick pat to his head, I start across the room to the Ravenclaw table and push myself between Brant and Francis. There's a kind of quiet at the table.

'Hey, dude,' I say, reaching up to pat Francis on the back. 'How are you doing?'

He looks miserable. His normally floppy hair is tired mess, and the light in his eyes is roughened up by bags and droopy eyes. 'Edith hasn't yet replied to my letter,' he says quietly, picking at his scrambled eggs. 'You were not in classes yesterday, I noticed. Did you hear off her at all then?' I shake my head and he flops even more. 'My poor _Edith._ I wasn't able to find out for hours, I was in the prefects bathrooms bathing...'

I nod and sigh.

The day before, Brant and I had elected to stay curled up in his bed all day. It was where I had ended up the night before after we had taken a bundle of food to the Ravenclaw dorms from the kitchens. Despite Endrew's bed being empty, I had curled up next to Brant and listened to his breathing slow down as he fell asleep. Every so often, I was tempted to look over the grounds for any sign of the werewolf, but knew it would just make me sleep even shittier. Come morning, we decided to fob off school and write our individual letters to Edith and Endrew, nursing off our hangovers as we did so.

Brant shifts next to me and rubs his forehead tiredly. 'I'm surprised it wasn't in the paper yesterday, to be honest. I bet Mrs Bandini paid the _Prophet_ off for as long as she could'. He shakes his head and pulls a grim look. 'Fucking animals'.

'They're going for anyone, now,' says a girl from across from us. Her wide eyes and white blonde hair remind me of Edith, but her small nose and even lighter eyebrows give her more of an elf-life feel. 'You-Know-Who's followers. It doesn't seem like anyone is safe, does it? So sorry for your friends loss. It's a truly terrible thing'. I give her a timid smile, quite worried for the girls sanity. Why did she sound like she talking to me from some really good acid trip?

I spot Remus across the Hall without really meaning to (lies, lies, lies) and note the scratch on his cheek. Despite that, he seems to hold himself with something other than the stiffness I had seen a few days before. Next him, Potter nudges him in the side and laughs and, behind his thick glasses, I spot what seems to be a pretty brutal black eye. I blink at it for a moment, wondering what the hell could have happened, before Brant nudges me in the side.

'Francis and I have got Herbology now, but I'll see you in Transfiguration afterwards, right?' I nod and he stands whilst leaning down to kiss the top of my head lightly. As he pulls away, he grins. 'Please try and do some work in your free period, Miss Leola. Like, perhaps, the Charms essay we have due tomorrow?'

I nod and shrug. 'Sure thing, dad. In a bit, Francis'.

As they exit the Hall, I shrug and reach for Brant's half finished glass of orange juice before it disappears. Taking a long gulp, I nearly joke when I look up and see Sirius Black standing directly in front of me. _How the fuck did he move so fast?_

He narrows his grey eyes at me. 'You have a free period now, right? Oh, who _cares_. You would probably bunk off your class, anyway. Come hither, Princess, the Marauders require your attention'. I splutter as he curls a hand around my arm and pulls me up from my seat. 'Leave the juice, Lola. Merlin, you weirdo'. I snatch my arm from his grasp as he leads me from the Great Hall, attempting to ignore the glares that a few Hufflepuff girls send my way.

Ugh, _ew._ No.

'You need to stop hanging out with me,' I say, jogging to catch up with his long strides. 'The girls in this school are going to take me _out_ -' I cut myself off, regarding the three other boys that standing to the entrance of the Great Hall. I _really_ try and ignore the way in which Remus is leaning against the wall to my left, arms crossed and gaze settling on my face.

Literally. Just do me, Remus. Right here, right now.

James grins when he sees me. 'Well done, Pads. Hello, Lola Leola'. I give him a funny look. 'Now, come, come. How did we not know we shared a free period with you? Completely atrocious, isn't it, Moony?'

Remus glares. 'Sure is,' pipes up Peter. 'Oi, sorry to hear about Edith's dad, Leola. Pretty grim, that is'.

I smile uncomfortably and nod to him. 'Yes. Er, thanks'.

'Ah,' gasps Sirius, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and clutching at his heart. 'The stale thank yous. The awkward emotional conversation. The _utter_ lack of warmth. You're making me homesick, Lola. Stop it, now'. He grins down at me and I roll my eyes. Fuck him for being so damn pretty. Prettier than _me._ 'Now, we thought it would be fun to take our _favourite_ Slytherins somewhere _fun'._

'You're being very creepy,' I point out. 'And why does James have a black eye?'

'Rough night with McGonagall,' Remus says, quirking a cheeky grin my way. My heart practically leaps out of my throat. 'Who knew she liked it so rough?' I'd like you. Rough, that is. And long. For literally days-

'Something I don't want to imagine,' I joke back, wriggling myself out of Sirius's embrace.

' _Very_ good point,' says Lupin.

'Okay, if you guys are _done,'_ cuts in Peter. 'Prongs, get the map out. I'm hungry'.

James sends him a funny look. 'Wormtail, we _just_ had breakfast...shit, Pads, we forgot we have last minute Quidditch training'. I blink at the two of them. Remus straightens up immediately. ' _Drat_ ,' he deadpans, looking hard at Sirius. The latter grins wolfishly. 'And _Wormy..._ dude, didn't you say that fifth year Ravenclaw girl wanted to tutor you in Charms?'

'You need a _fifth_ year to tutor you-'

Pettigrew cuts me off with a very fake, 'Oh, _no._ Right you are, Prongs'.

One look at Remus tells me he was _not_ in on this plan. At all. He stares hard at all of his friends, arms still cross and pink dusting across his cheeks where the cut is. Why is he so hot? Why? And _why_ can no one else see it? It is only then that I remember how I had hand fucked him through his trousers, and my face flushes red. 'Shocking how forgettable you all are,' he grits out.

'And that you need a _map_ to get around the school,' I say slowly. 'What's up with that?'

'Marauders secret. Be _very_ honoured you are about to be a part of it. Anyway, gotta dash, see you later, Moony!' After saying all of that in what seemed to be one breath, Black shoves a crumpled piece of parchment in Remus's arms and grabs Peter by the arm and drags him in the opposite direction. James skips after them, but not before throwing me a wink.

Remus sighs from next to me. 'That's not even the right direction for the Quidditch pitch,' he mutters. After a beat of silence, he sighs and turns to be with an apologetic smile. 'They're idiots, I'm sorry. If you want to go and study, you-'

I throw him a look. 'Don't be ridiculous, Remus. I want to see this map, of yours. What did they _say_ we were going to do, anyway'. At that, he bites his lips and rolls his amber eyes before nodding over his shoulder for me to follow him. After a few steps, he looks over my head and pushes me forward first. This carries on for a little, until we finally reach the third floor. 'You're being very secretive. It's kinda hot'. He gives me a sidelong look and I grin at him. Eh, gotta have some fun, right?

As we reach a deserted corridor, he folds open the blank parchment and looks at me once. God, how does he look so good? Reaching for his wand, he holds it against the parchment before saying, ' _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'._ Like magic (ha ha) the parchment flourishes. Patterns and pictures spring to life on the once ruddy parchment, words etching themselves across it. I lean forward, head coming up to Remus's shoulder as I gape at the parchment in his hands.

' _The Marauders Map_ ,' I read aloud, crinkling a brow. With another flick of his wand, the map springs open. He offers it to me, eyes trained on my face, and I looked hard at it. It's Hogwarts. It's the grounds, the castle, the _people._ There, on the third floor in the west of the castle, is our names printed next to each other.

 _Lola Leola_ and _Remus Lupin._

I laugh, pretty fucking delighted. Any thoughts of Edith, Endrew or even that lone werewolf dash from my mind. 'You guys _made_ this?' I look up at him and Remus nods, a small smile playing on his face. 'That's...that's fucking amazing. _This_ is how you guys never seem to get caught? Merlin, Remus, I knew you lot were smart, but fuck...' I scan over the map, looking at the variation of names. Even _Dumbledore_ is on it, pacing back and forth in his office. '

He shrugs and smiles a little once again. I look up at him, feeling pretty fucking dumb for being so impressed. 'It was Sirius who thought up the idea-'

' _Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs,'_ I read aloud, cutting him off. The swirling letters are printed at the top of the map. I cock a brow up at Remus. 'I suppose you're going to awkwardly avoid the question if I ask what those nicknames mean, right?'

Lupin smirks smugly. 'Of course. Keep an eye on the map'. He moves forward, wand in hand, and leads me to the middle of the hallway. I glance down at the map, noting how most of the names are clustered together in classrooms around the school. _Brantley Zaveri_ wanders about the greenhouses, and I smile a little at the name. 'This is so cool. You can see where anyone is at any time! Dude, you could see who's sleeping together-' I cut myself off, looking up slowly to see Remus staring at me over his shoulder.

'You are such a _Slytherin_ '. He pauses in front of a statue I had never really bothered to notice before - a hump backed, one-eyed witch. How unfortunate. Remus clambers around the back of the statue as I watch him with a cocked brow. He raises his wand up and says, ' _Dissendium!'_ There's a low scraping noise, to which Remus smiles at. He then pockets his wand and sticks his sandy haired head round to smile at me. 'I should warn you, you're probably going to miss second period'. His hand jerks up for a moment, as if he's going to offer it to me, but bunches his fist as his side once again.

'This way'. With that, he disappears from view.

 _What the fuck?_

I dart toward the statue, shoving the map into my robes as I do so. Huh, there's a secret passageway down the back of the statue. Who would have fuckin' known, right? Merlin, I wonder how many of them there are...With a shrug, I give the hallway one last look before sliding round the back of the statue, peering down once, and then hopping through the passageway.

Well, the arsehole could have warned me there was a bloody _slide._

But, it's alright, because my payback is smacking into him at the end of said slide.

'Ow!'

'Oh, fuck, sorry!' I look around me, till half perched on one of Remus's legs, and grin. 'Oh, this is so cool. Brant is gonna be _jealous'._ The stone slide had led us to a low ceiling tunnel with pretty narrow walls. It was dirty, smelt damp and was probably going to give me some kind of illness. It was _great._ 'Dude, does this lead to Hogsmeade?'

Remus glances up at me, mid-brushing off his school uniform. I slide from his leg and begin doing the same, crouching low. 'How did you _know_ that? It was going to be surprise, spoil sport'.

I flash him a grin. 'Terribly sorry'.

'You should be, Leola. C'mon, it's a bit of a walk through the tunnel, but we should come up just underneath Honeydukes'. I gasp and clap, to which Lupin snorts and shakes his head. _This is...odd. I can actually find myself...you know...being fun with him._ I'd never even had that with Brant after we screwed and kept together and tried...well, tried to see if anything would ever come from that. I had never even had that with Fabian before he graduated the year before.

Remus considers me with a small smirk. 'There's a hole in your tights'.

I blink and look down, letting out a small sigh when I see the hole and ladder just above my knee. 'Bugger...' There's a shuffle in front of me, and I see that Lupin is shrugging off his black school robes. 'Why are we getting naked?' I ask curiously, raising a brow.

Lupin sighs and give me a dull look. 'We're not _getting naked,_ Lola-'

'Bummer'. I grin. He falters. _Oh, this is fun. I need to start handling this awkwardness between us like this more._

He coughs and folds his robes up, jaw hard. ' _We're_ taking off our robes so they don't get _dirty'._

I continue to grin and wink. ' _Why_? What do you plan on doing-?'

He throws me a deadpan look. I very quickly shut up, biting the inside of my mouth. Ugh, could we not rewind to two days ago, when the news of Mr Bandini had not yet reached me, and my hand was _so close_ to being down Remus Lupin's trousers? Because that would be _really great_ right about now. Maybe he could be absent a shirt, too...

Clearing my throat lightly, I shrug off my own robes and, whilst Lupin isn't looking, deftly undo the top two buttons of my school shirt. _Whoops, how did that happen..._ This was how Lola Leola bagged the hotter of the Prewett twins. _This_ is how she's going to get Remus Lupin to stop the weird issue he seemed to have with getting off with me every so often. Not that said issue stopped him from doing so, of course.

'Lead the way,' I say, throwing my arm toward the beginning of the tunnel. 'And thanks for showing me this, y'know. Endrew's gonna wet himself when he sees this place'.

Lupin sends me a half smile and slowly rolls the sleeves of his white shirt up to his elbows. My stomach does that funny hot thing that makes me want to pounce on him. Merlin, what is it with guys arms? Especially his arms...with those mystery scars. Hmm, still pretty confused about those. _And_ that new cut on his cheek. Maybe I should ask-

'It was a unanimous decision, don't worry. James seemed pretty intent on paying you back for Hogsmeade a couple of weeks ago. Lily has actually been pretty decent to him since then,' he rolls his eyes and shoves his wand into his back pocket. Running one hand through his hair, he turns on his heel and crouches a little as he presses himself down the narrow tunnel. 'I'm sorry, by the way. About, um, Endrew and Edith's dad. I hope they're okay'. His voice echoes down the earth tunnel. 'Not that they _will_ be okay-'

I cough and nod, starting to follow him. 'Chill, Remus. It's fucked up anyway, yeah. Petty fucking scary, really. He had all kinda of security charms on that house but...' I lick my lips and shrug. 'I guess You-Know-Who's too powerful, huh?' I remember the kindness of Mr Bandini as he welcomed Brant and I into his over the top beautiful home, to the way in which he treated his twin children. Feeling the tightening of my throat, I focus instead on the back of Lupin's sandy haired head. _Change topic. Now._

'You look less like shit, by the way'.

He scoffs ahead of me and glances briefly over his shoulder. 'Gee, thanks'. He warns be that there is a slight incline coming up, before saying, 'Can I ask you something?'

'You can try'.

I can practically _feel_ him rolling his eyes. 'Okay, then. Did you ask to be sorted into Slytherin?'

And right there, in that dingy and earth smelling tunnel with Remus Lupin, I am fucking truly _stumped._ Possibly more stumped than I was when I realised there was a God damn mystery werewolf running around the school grounds. No one, ever, had asked me that. No one had never assumed that being in _Slytherin_ was something that I could _ever_ possibly want. I glance at his back as he weaves through the winding tunnel ahead of me, and smile. 'How did you know that?'

'I _was_ right, then'. I could hear the grin in his voice. 'Intelligent guesswork. You said before how the Hat wanted to sort you into Hufflepuff, and that probably would have fitted you better. I remember what you were like in first year-'

'Paying close attention, were you?' I cut in slyly.

' _And,_ despite being so negative about everyone in your House, you enjoy being a _Slytherin_ far too much. I'm not sure why, mind'. I cluck my tongue at him and he laughs. 'Sorry. That's James speaking. I mean, you did though, right?'

I bite the side of my mouth and nod, though he can't see. 'Yeah, I did. Despite the fact my dad is all _Go Gryffindor!,_ I always kind of like the whole cunning and ambitious thing. Plus, what better way to fight against the social norm than be a Half-Blood Slytherin with a muggle mother, who's liberal views get her a monthly ass kicking from her Housemates?'

Remus shakes his head and supports himself on the wall as he clambers over a boulder. To my utter embarrassment, he turns slightly in the narrow tunnel and reaches to help me clamber over it, hand reaching for my own. I take it a little too quickly, face burning as his amber eyes watch over me. Of course, I nearly trip over the boulder, but catch myself quickly. _You too distracted by the way that shirts hands on his lanky frame. Why is that hot?_. 'Ahem. Thanks'. I smile tightly up at him. Oh, Merlin, _why_ must I go all gooey when I'm so close to him? I must be so _obvious._ I bite the side of my mouth as I look at him, from his long nose, to his shaggy hair, to his hazy looking eyes.

'You remind me of Sirius,' he says.

I blink at him. I blink again. 'Oh. _Brilliant,'_ I reply, fighting back a smile.

'I didn't mean it like _that,'_ he splutters, cheeks flushing slightly as he glares. I snort. 'Oh, shut it, snake. I _mean,_ he likes to be a sarcastic, angst-ridden teen who goes against what's expected of him too- ow! I was joking!' He laughs as I pummel his arm with the back of my hand, laughing whilst doing so. 'I'm not _wrong -_ ow, bugger, okay!' I settle on giving him one last whack to the arm, to which he catches my hand and...

Oh Merlin, I don't even know if _I_ was the one to automatically link out fingers together but it's...it's just so _cheesy._ Merlin, _when_ did I become this person. Remus stalls, smile freeing on his face, before his light brown eyes dart to my own hazel ones from our joined hands. I blink back at him, face probably the shade of crest on his forgotten robes. Despite the fact my hand had cupped his fucking dick, this was so... _intimate._

He ducks to kiss me then, mouth dry and pressing against mine in a small moment of silence. I press back, halfway to reaching for his cheek as he pulls away from me, eyes that cocky lazy look I had grown far too used to.

'Can't get enough of me, Leola,' he drawls, cracking a half grin. He's got a small scar on his lower lip. Huh, I never noticed that.

I huff and laugh, dropping my hand from his and kicking his own school shoes lightly with my own. 'Shut up, Lupin'.

And then, we start walking again. As if _nothing_ had happened, and I'm not sure whether that's a good or a bad thing. I can't stop smiling the whole bloody time, so it's a good thing his back is to me. My cheeks feel hot, my heart is hammering, my stomach feels like it's full of butterflies.

Merlin. How gross.

'I'm going to get in so much trouble for missing _another_ day of classes, you know. You marauders are a terrible influence on my innocent soul'. We hit stone steps all of a sudden, and as we clamber up them Lupin barks out a laugh.

' _Innocent._ I'm sure. I take it you missed yesterday too? You rebel'.

I put on an affronted tone and hold the wall as we climb the steps. Fuck, how many were there? _Need to stop drinking and smoking._ 'I take it you did too, if you didn't notice my fine ass was missing from Potions. Brant and I got drunk by the Black Lake to forgot our woes and then had a feast in the kitchens - what?' He had stopped and turned slightly, a blank look on his scarred face.

I blink at him, leaning back slightly.

'Dude, _what?'_

'You were at the Black Lake two nights ago?' he asks slowly, hands still braced on either side of the wall as he looks down at me. 'At night?'

' _Yes_ , Remus. At night,' I reply slowly, as if talking to a child. _Not that I'm going to tell him about what I saw at the Black Lake. I'm not going to be the start of outing some poor werewolf from their magical closet._ 'Dude, I know you're a prefect, but come on, are you really going to _tell me off_ -'

And then, it hits me.

It hits me like a fucking _train_.

It hits me so hard that my heart practically drops out of my butt.

He's ill a lot, isn't he? Remus, I mean. There always seems to be a couple of days when those bags under his eyes get heavier and the way he holds himself...tense, almost as if he's in _pain_. Then there's the scars on face and arms, some look so _old..._ _Old enough to have been inflicted on him when he was just a kid._ Not to mention thathe looks tired all the time. Albeit, sometimes an attractive kind of tired, but tired all the same. He used to be so _quiet;_ so scared of everything. Could that...be because...? And this full moon...in the ingredients closet, he had looked pale and tired and he'd-he'd-

He was ill yesterday too. The day after the full moon.

He was ill a _lot._

I bet if I check my moon charts from Astronomy, I'll find his ill pretty much every full moon.

The words die in my throat. I breath in deeply through my nose and look up at him, heart clenching in my chest as I watch the rise of fall of his chest and the worried look in his amber eyes. Human eyes. _Remus. He's Remus. Don't preach about bullshit werewolf rights if you can't get past this, Leola. Remus. Remus Lupin is a werewolf, and you're gonna be fucking cool with that. Even if...even if it freaks you out a little. You are going to move the fuck on and not say a God damn word to him or anyone else about it._

I plaster a teasing smile on my face and use that Slytherin cunning. 'Now stop lecturing me and show me this bountiful supply of chocolates and sweets, Lupin'. I wave a hand in the direction of the staircase in a demanding manner. 'I seem to remember a third year Remus Lupin throwing up because he ate so much chocolate before a Care of Magical Creatures class-'

His shoulders sag and he grins, scars shifting across his face. _Relief. He must be so worried all the fucking time. Fuck. Fuck. Everything makes sense._ 'Not much has changed, really'.

And despite the uneasy feeling in my belly and the need I have to just tug him toward me and tell him it's _fucking okay,_ I don't. Because, at the end of the day, I'm not a brave Gryffindor like the Marauders, who obviously welcomed fucking _Moony_ (that makes sense now. Shit) into their group. And even though I'm fucking _freaked_ that quiet to kind of broody Remus Lupin is _probably_ a werewolf, I don't say shit. And there'd a very simple reason.

I'm a Slytherin.

And we know to wait shit out with cunning and patience.

* * *

 **She knows! The next chapter will carry on straight after, guys. Kind of a part 2. I want to portray Lola as finding out as realistic as I can. She's cool with it, but she's surprised. Normal, right? More to come! Thank you for the reviews, guys! Honestly makes me so happy. You're all giving me feedback I can work from which is superrrr.**


	13. This Week Fucking Sucks

_Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book_ \- **Jamie Lee Curtis**

* * *

 _October 3rd 1976_

 _10:00 AM_

* * *

One of the things that I pride myself on, as a Slytherin, is that I am a tremendously fucking good liar. I mean, I lied to my dad the first two weeks of school when I first got sorted into Slytherin. _That's_ impressive, and you can't deny it. This talent, apparently, comes in handy as I sit on the stairway to the basement of Honeydukes with Remus Lupin, of whom I have just figured out to be a werewolf.

Yeah. This week was turning out to be pretty weird.

'No,' says Remus, chewing around his caramel filled chocolate (a favourite of his, apparently). He sits one step above me on the stairscase, long legs bent and back pressed against the stone wall. 'He's always fancied Lily. Despite the wondrous ways in which he decides to _woo_ her, he actually cares about her quite a lot. It's one of the reasons he tries so bloody hard in school. Do you really think Lily Evans will end up with an idiot?'

I pop a few more Glacial Snow Flake sweets into my mouth and think for a moment, enjoying the way the sweetness melts on my tongue. 'That's true. Honestly, I always saw her ending up with someone like you, but I don't exactly know Evans very well'. I shrug and shake the near empty box with a frown. The basement of Honeydukes was filled to the brim with crates of sweets, and the fact that Lupin was so okay with stealing said sweets turned me on _way_ more than it should have.

Guilt stirred in my stomach then. Edith and Endrew were probably at home, distraught over the death of their father. Brant was working his arse of in Herbology. Yet, here I was, flirting relentlessly with the guy I fancied when I knew the reason he was so distant with me at time was because he was a fucking _werewolf._ I wanted to know more about. I wanted to know more about _him._

'I'm not entirely sure if that's a compliment or not,' Remus quips, brown eyes narrowed jokingly as he glances down at me.

I grin and tilt my head. 'Well, it's my way of saying I think that you're a _total_ square-'

He throws me an affronted look at that, lowering his half eaten chocolate bar and shaking his head in mock insult. 'Lola Leola. How dare you. I _bravely_ bunk off classes to escort you down a _very_ secret passageway to steal sweets. Does that sound like something a _square_ would do?'

I wonder if it _hurts_ him to transform. I wonder if he was born or bitten. I wonder if the teachers know. I wonder if his parents are normal. Fuck, no, I don't mean _normal_. _Not werewolves._ It explains so much about him. His quietness up until sixth year; that meekness he always had about himself in first year. He was scared. He was _lonely._ And then came James, Sirius and Peter.

It explained so much. It explained why they were such a tight knit group.

I sigh and throw him a pointed look. 'You do have a point there, Mr Lupin. Hey, what did you do to your cheek?' I reach up lightly, fingertip a breath away from the fresh and small cut I'd noticed earlier that day. _It's probably from the full moon, idiot. Fuck. This is going to take some getting used to._

 _What if he isn't a werewolf and this is me being an idiot? I've been wrong before. Many times before._

Remus blinks and smiles easily. I watch every aspect of his face closely, from the twitch of his jaw to the left-to-right dart of his eyes. All in all, he's not a _terrible_ liar. 'Prongs...James and I...fell off a bed in our dorm'. I cock a brow. 'We were trying to stick a poster to the ceiling above Sirius's bed'. I would have called him out on his shitty lie, had he not looked so uncomfortable. Whereas that usually entertained me, in that moment it just made me pity him.

'Well, you guys are dumb, aren't you?' I shoot back lightly, letting the topic disappear. Aren't I nice? 'Oh, are you going to take apparition lessons after Christmas. I'm pretty worried, to be honest. My dad said he lost a toe the first time he did it-'

'Can I kiss you again?'

I blink at him, the words dying in my throat as I slowly grin at his blank face that stares down at me. There was no flirtatious banter in his tone, nor bashful shyness. It was a simple question with a hint of curiosity to it. Part of me wanted to tell him no, he couldn't. I didn't want to fuck him about, knowing what I did, and I didn't want him to fuck _me_ about. We were both lying to each other; both hiding something from the other. Was it selfish of him to want to kiss me, when he so obviously thought his affliction was a no-no? Was it selfish of me to indulge him and push those feelings of attraction?

Probably.

I drop the box of sweets the floor and stare up at him from beneath my lashes, a look that had _always_ sent Fabian to his knees and a few of the girls in my home town. I was Lola fuckin' Leola. I _could_ control this situation. I could kiss a werewolf and disregard the obvious issues that would arise the more I lied to him and hid my knowledge. He would tell me when he wanted to and, fuck, I would _make_ him care enough to _want_ to tell me.

 _That_ was my mission.

Shuffling on the staircase, I move onto my knees before him, one step down, and yank his head down to mine by grabbing him lightly by the tie. His lips are always slightly chapped and stiff at first, I've come to find, as if he isn't quite sure what to do. Idly, I find myself wondering not for the first time if Remus Lupin is a virgin. With that twist of attitude over sixth year, he must have tried _something_ out with some girl.

He reaches for me and I rise to meet him, breathing lightly as his body moves and his feet fall to the step I sit on. 'Move,' I instruct lightly, and he pulls back to blink at me. I rise quickly to my full height and reach down to nudge his knees round so that he's sitting upright, leaning back onto the step behind him. With a quick glance up to the trap door above us, a grin cheekily at him.

The look on his face when I move to straddle my lap is really a wondrous thing.

His hands fly to grip at my waist as I bend my legs at his hips, chest level with his face, and dip my head to catch his lips once again, stomach twisting and heart hammering. He kisses harder this time, fingertips tapping into my upper-thighs and, with a delighted thrill in my lower belly, I feel him groan into my mouth. I bury my hands into his hair, arching my body lightly against his slimmer one and peppering kisses against his smooth jaw. 'You shaved,' I mutter. 'I like it when you _don't_ '.

'I literally _never_ will again,' he says breathlessly, voice deeper and hands lowering to grip at my arse. I move forward, hips sliding against his and nearly fucking _moaning_ when I feel his harness press back. ' _Fuck_ , Lola...'

I pretend this moment won't be brushed aside later, imaging for a moment that all is well.

It's a nice feeling.

He kisses harder, then. His teeth nip and tug at my bottom lip, a surprise to even me. Who knew he could be such a _dog?_ Oh, shit, bad joke...He pulls me even closer to him, urging my hips to move against his as his lips travel from my mouth to my neck, biting and sucking and smiling against my skin as I move on my accord, a fire burning in my belly at the feel of his hardness pressed against me. I could get used to this. I _wanted_ to get used to this.

Werewolf. He as a fucking _werewolf._

Fuck. Holy _fuck._

This. _This_ is a good way to forget about the terrible things of the world. Wrapped up in Remus Lupin.

Every inch of me seems to be wired to him, and as his hands travel to move under the back of my jumper, his warm palms suddenly press against the bare skin of my lower back. He's breathing hard against my neck, hips shifting as I move back and forth against him. It's everything I thought it would be, being so fucking close to him, and Merlin is it _hot._ I wan't more than anything than to hear him _come_.

With that in mind, I push harder, hips pressing against his hardness. 'Merlin, you feel so _good,_ Remus,' I breath, surprising even myself to hear my voice so fucking pathetic and breathless. It _certainly_ wasn't like this with Fabian, Brant or even the girls from my town. Well, Sarah was _pretty_ good-

And then, suddenly, he's pushing me away from him.

I stumble down one step, legs like jelly and a burning between my thighs that makes my head feel all muddled. I right myself against the wall and look breathlessly at Remus who, in return, looks equally as ruined as I feel. His hair is a mess, there's a tent in his pants, but the wildness in his eyes doesn't seem to have anything to do with how horny we both are.

'For _fucks_ sake, Remus-' I begin to snap, throwing my arms in the air

He grips at his wavy locks and shakes his head, jaw set and amber eyes trained on me. 'No. Shit, Lola. I can't keep fucking doing this to you. It's isn't bloody fair. You're starting to _like_ me-'

 _Werewolf. Werewolf. Werewolf._

I blanch at his declaration, feeling affronted and put-out. _Feelings_. We had never discussed those. I'm _angry_ , then. Angry and fucking mortified and left, once again, with _blue clit._ 'Who fucking said anything about-'

But he's...he's _pissed._ It seems for a moment that he's actually talking to himself. 'I don't care what James and Sirius said, I can't bloody do this with _anyone_ -' He shakes his head yet again and grimaces, breathing hard through his nose. 'It's not... _you_ , alright? You're fucking _perfect. Look_ at you-'

'You did not just say that to me. You are _so_ tacky-!' I knew this would happen. I knew he would freak out... _I_ have to be right. _He's a werewolf and he's ashamed_. That _has_ to be it. 'Remus, I don't _care!' I don't care that you're a werewolf. I don't care if people think your a beast or an animal or a half-breed. I don't, you prick._ I half-shout as he pushes past me on the staircase, tightening his tie as he goes. 'Remus. I. Don't. Care. I'm your fucking _friend._ I thought we'd been over this'. I snap my mouth shut and stare at his back, frozen in place.

He stops, tall and stoic. With an incline of his head, he looks briefly over his shoulder to me. _Does he know what I'm saying? Does he?_ He stares at me for a moment, eyes wide and terrified and, fuck, does he know? Does he see that I see?

'Bye, Lola'.

With that, he starts down the narrow tunnel, back turned and head bowed.

'Oh, _fuck you_ , Remus!' Mortified and rejected, I sink back to the steps and draw my knees to my chest, vowing to keep my mouth shut about the whole ordeal. For both my pride, and Remus's sake. ' _Stupid boys,'_ I grumble, blinking away the stinging in my eyes.

All in all, this week fucking _sucks._

* * *

I wait exactly ten minutes before starting down the narrow tunnel. It's a much longer way when you do it completely alone, and the smell of damp and earth is a little less quaint this time around. When I reach the little alcove at the bottom of the slide, I shove my Slytherin robes back on and sneer at the space where Remus had obviously gathered his from. _Douche._

A slight rustle in my pocket alerts me to the fact that I had, accidentally, kept the map. It was still swirling with life on the pages of the old parchment, and with a way too eager smile I open the pages and look quickly over the halls of Hogwarts. We were well into second period now - Transfiguration, of course. The hall above was empty, thank Merlin. With a click of my tongue, I scoured of the map for a certain name.

Ah, there. _Remus Lupin._ Seventh floor of the Grand Staircase. He was running back to Gryffindor Tower. _Whatever. I tried to be nice. I tried to be accepting. Screw him if he wants to mess me about and be a self-pitying twat._ I breath deeply thought my nose. _Okay, maybe that's not exactly_ fair...

Pushing the Gryffindor boy from my mind with a sniff, I shove the map back into my pocket and consider the stone slide with a worried look, sliding my bag onto my shoulder. Fuck. Okay. This would be interesting. It takes me a good five minutes to balance enough on my hands and knees and crawl up the short slide, yelping every time my tights rip and I slip. _Surely there is an easier way to do this._ Upon grappling at the walls to my side and finding that, thank fuck, the secret passageway was still open, I shuffle forward a bit more and latch onto the opening, dragging myself up.

It's a painful squeeze that I'm sure bruised my legs quite a bit, but in the end I manage to crawl out of the opening and into safety. Checking the map once again, I manoeuvre my way through the castle, cringing every so often at the complete mortification I felt at Lupin shoving me away like that. _He's going through things, remember. It can't be easy for him._

 _I don't care! He shouldn't have lead me on. Not that I want anything...oh, fuck off._

I storm toward the dungeons. No point in going to Transfiguration, now. McGonagall would give me a detention either way. I huff after looking over the map once again, wishing more than anything that Edith was here. _Selfish. Her dad's just died and you're annoyed about a bloody boy. Forget Lupin. Forget all of that. Focus on real shit, Leola. Dumb werewolf._ I shake my head and grunt. _You didn't mean that, stupid._

The Slytherin Common Room is filled with a few sixth and seventh years, all of them pouring over notes and a few playing some angry looking games of Exploding Snap. I march past the lot of them, pushing my curly hair from my face in frustration. I feel dumb. I don't like feeling fucking dumb. I missed _another_ class just to be shot down by a guy I was trying to _be nice to._ What did I do _wrong?_ Fuck, why do I _care?_

'Oi, Leola!'

 _Nope._

I turn with a grimace to the fireplace, in which Yaxley, Bulstrode and Nott are gathered around playing snap. Ah, yes, the idiots who were to dumb to not get into N.E.W.T Transfiguration. I have no idea why Vanity hangs out with such idiots. _And I'm in the idiot who's bunking it for a boy. Great._ It was Bulstrode who called out to me, her thin lips pulled into a sneering smile as she looked over the back of the green sofa. Bitch. Her brother was a fucking dick too, before he graduated. Either side of her, Yaxley and Nott smirk. '... _What_?'

'Aren't you supposed to be in Transfiguration with McGonagall - been gallivanting around with your Gryffindor _fuck-_ friend?' Bulstrode has one of the nasally voices, you know? The kind that make you want to punch them upon first meeting them.

'Yu _p_ ,' I drawl, turning to face her fully. I should turn away. I should ignore them as I've been learning to do. But something, some frustrated part of me that knows these horrible people condone You-Know-Who's actions, wants nothing more than to scream at them. 'I need a break every so often from it, you know? Hard work. For those of us who _actually_ qualified for N.E.W.T Transfiguration, anyway'.

Her pig-face darkens to a light purple as she glares at me, suddenly jumping from the sofa and pulling out her stumpy wand. The attention of the other students was being drawn to us now. _Joy_. 'Say that again, you filthy little Half-Blood!'

I tilt my head a smile a nasty smile. 'You're _dumb_ ,' I reiterate.

She sneers once again and smiles. 'Your freak twin friends deserved what they _got._ Filthy blood-traitors will all fall to their knees before the-'

And then, I snap. Rage and frustration boils to the surface, enraged at the injustice of _everything._ _How can they say these things? How am I in a House with these fucking people?_ 'You stupid _bitch,'_ I snap, anger burning in the pit of my stomach at her words. I'm so angry I nearly start fucking crying. How dumb is that? 'You follow some snake _freak_ blindly, you inbred pile of sh-'

I see her raise her wand in hindsight, really. We Slytherin's are a hot-headed, predictable bunch, so the jinx is already on my tongue. Fingers already curled around my wand, I raise it quickly and shout, ' _Langlock!'_ Immediately, Bulstrode's tongue zooms to the roof of her mouth and she chokes, eyes wide and angry. She sputters as I laugh at her, but not before noticing Yaxley and Nott raise from the sofa angrily and shout, wands raised,

' _Flipendo!'_

 _'_ _Locomotor Wibbly!'_

And, really, with those two hexes aimed at me, it's no wonder that I slam to the ground suddenly, head smacking noisily against the small circular table behind me and sending two seventh years game of Exploding Snap flying into the air.

Again, this week fucking _sucks_.

* * *

 **Hello! I know, it's annoying as hell. We all know that Lupin has just a tinge of an issue with his lycanthropy and those around him. Lola's reply is more to do with her pride than how she feels about him being a werewolf, which I guess says a lot about her character. Slytherin pride, am I right? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!**


	14. Lola Layla Leola

_Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail_ \- **Sophie Kinsella**

* * *

 _October 15th 1976_

 _6:52 PM_

* * *

I'm not dead. Which is, you know, _good._

I can't remember a lot from the morning I awoke in the Hospital Wing, aside from Dumbledore sitting on the edge of my bed chatting away to an ashen looking and half-asleep Brant. The two had quickly turned their attention to me, Dumbledore smiling idly down at me as I lay in the tightly tucked in bed, and Brant glaring a hole through my banging skull.

Suffice to say, he was a _little_ pissed at me for what had happened.

All in all, I whacked my head so hard my skull had cracked, but thanks to Pomfrey's magic hands, I was halfway to alright by the time I reached the Hospital Wing. Bulstrode and Nott had been forced into the dormitory for the night after Slughorn had yelled at them and given them two months detentions each, whereas I had been given a _one_ _months._

A fucking _month._

Even on _weekends._

Slughorn had looked so disappointed. I almost wanted to cry. I _tried_ to insist that they had said some disgusting shit, but _apparently_ throwing a hex at someone isn't the way to resolve an argument. Who knew?

Still, two weeks into the detentions and I was ready to top myself. Seven until nine _every_ bloody evening. Mondays through until Wednesdays I was with Slughorn in his office, where he allowed me to catch up on homework, which wasn't _so_ bad. He would even talk to me sometimes, asking about my dad and his work in the Ministry. Sometimes he would go on one about Evans, to which I would try and nod politely at but usually zoned out on. Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, though, I was with _McGonagall_. That hard-ass would either, so far, dump me with Filch or make me clean the millions of fucking trophies dotted about the castle.

It _sucked._

Today was a Thursday, so McGonagall it was. Having already said a goodbye to Brant and left him with the slightly perked up Francis (we had received news from the twins that they were returning back to Hogwarts tomorrow after Mr Bandini's funeral having taken place the week before), I walked idly through the castle with my bag swinging at my side.

The fight with Nott and Bulstrode had been a kind of wake up call for me, I guess. _Trust no bitch._ I couldn't...not in my House. A few days ago, muggleborn Olive Glass had been taken out of Astronomy Theory to be told that her mother, father and grandmother had all been murdered. Death Eaters were never mentioned, but it was obvious. According to the _Prophet,_ their house was fucking _obliterated._ I heard Bulstrode talking about it to the others as I went to bed that night and she had _laughed_.

Crazy. Bitch.

We didn't talk to each other. We didn't even _look_ at each other. It became even more so apparent throughout the school that I was the odd one out within Slytherin House. From that, people became more... _nice._ Sirius Black held the bloody door open to Potions for a _week_ for me. Marlene McKinnon gave me this weird, jerky nod that even made her blanch a little at the awkwardness of it. The good of Hogwarts were slowly drawing together to fight against the bad.

It took all of my power and Dumebledore's soft words to make sure Brant didn't storm down the dungeons that night two weeks ago and curse Bulstrode and Nott to fucking Germany. Not to mention my _parents..._ the _essay_ of a letter I received the next day was enough for me to promise I wouldn't converse with any of my Housemates any time soon. Aside from Jone, of course. That little bug was by my side every meal.

That being said, not _everything_ was resolving itself. Lupin and I still remained stonily silent to each other, hardly even making eye contact nor passing smiles in the hallway. I wondered, sometimes, if he _knew_ I knew. Did he realise that my shout of _I don't care!_ held more meaning to it? Probably not. Idiot boy. I hadn't even told _Brant_ about the exchange, too worried that word would somehow get out if I whispered the secret I had stumbled upon.

 _Remus Lupin was a werewolf._ Would that idea get any less fucking weird?

'What are _you_ doing near the classrooms at this time, _Leola?'_

I stop and turn stiffly, a half grimace already make its way onto my face. That nasally voice, those greasy locks...ah, yes. _Filch._ The slightly hunched and forever pissed off caretaker regarded me with a sneer, beady eyes narrowed even further. At his ankles, that she-bitch cat gave me a smug look. I don't know how, but she fucking did. _'Detention,_ Filch'.

Suffice to say, Filch didn't like me. I had a bad habit in second year of running into him after hours as I snuck to the Ravenclaw Tower to see Brant and the twins. I _may_ have also once ACCIDENTALLY kicked Mrs Norris down a flight of moving stairs when I was running late for class and I was in a rush. I didn't _see_ her, okay? It was _not_ my fault.

He sniffed and showed greying teeth. _Ew._ 'With _who?'_

'McGonagall,' I shoot back, rolling my eyes and shuffling away from him. 'May I _go_ now - ow!' At that moment, a long arm was draped over my shoulder and another was pressed to my side. In shock, I had nearly tripped and twisted my ankle. With one confused glance either side of me and _up,_ I spy out one immaculate head of hair, and one messy head of hair. 'Oh, _Merlin-'_

'She's with _us_ , Filch,' draws Potter, before tugging me away from the furiously red caretaker.

'As you were,' adds Black, arm still slung over my shoulder as he guides me to turn swiftly on my heel, leaving the hunched little man spluttering in our wake. 'Lola Leola, _detention?_ I _never._ What _possibly_ could you have done?'

'I think _I_ might know, Pads,' interjects Potter, walking close to my other side. I glare up at him and attempt to squeeze from under Sirius's arm, but he holds on all the tighter. 'I _think_ she might have participated in a rather _nasty_ duel with some other _snakey-'_

'You two are _not_ funny,' I deadpan, settling with trying to bite at the hand that rests on my shoulder. Sirius merely jumps and smiles devilishly down at me, wiggling a finger toward my mouth suggestively. 'Oh, fuck off'.

'Such language,' Sirius drawls, shaking his head. 'No wonder you scared Moony off, little Leola. What _did_ happen that fateful day, by the way?' His grey eyes zoom in on me, and with a little jolt I realise they don't know. _He hasn't told them._ I wonder if they know what he _is_...of course they do. _Don't be dumb. They call him Moony, you doofus._

'I have detention,' I grumble, rolling my eyes. 'Can you _please_ bugger off?'

Potter titters and tuts. 'Afraid not, my dear. After a hideous accident involving a stink bomb and a Snivellus, we appear to have landed ourselves in a similar detention situation. Now, back to my good friends question that you so _obviously_ avoided'. He grins down at me toothily and the waning light glints against his square glasses. 'Whilst we appreciated you throwing the map through the Fat Lady's portrait so chivalrously last week, why _are_ you and Moony avoiding each other? He goes all pissy with us whenever we mention you-'

Ouch. That stings.

'Perhaps it's none of your fucking business, James. _Perhaps-'_

'There you three are. Come on. Hop to it. There's too many trophies to be cleaned tonight for you to faff about. And _Mister Black,_ will you _please_ tighten your tie'. McGonagall glares from her place at the door of the classroom, her skinny silhouette illuminated from the light within. 'You are of Gryffindor - wear the colours _well._ And _unhand_ Miss Leola, please'.

With that, she turns sharply on her heel and disappears into the classroom.

'She wants me,' Sirius mutters, drawing his arm from my shoulders and going to tighten his tie. As James snorts, I scoff and break away from the both of them and rush forward, but not before hearing low muttering behind me.

' _I don't know! He's a moody twat, he'll kill us if she doesn't-!'_

I make way for the back of the classroom with a small nod in McGonagall's direction. The dark haired witch merely rolls her eyes to the classroom door and watches with a deadpan look as the most vocal of the Marauders meandered through the door. 'Please, gentleman, don't _rush,'_ she quips in her thick Scottish accent. I snort as I dump my bag onto the floor and flop into the seat. _Only two more weeks to go..._

'Thanks, Professor. That's really nice of you,' James responds, a cheeky smile on his face. It quickly falters at the Head of Gryffindor House's harsh glare. He sits four seats ahead of me, whereas Black sits directly to the front of the classroom two rows over.

With a flick of her wand, the desk behind McGonagall suddenly expands and fills with a pile of goblets and trophies and plaques, all of them piling up and clinking against one another. She cocks a brow. 'I expect _all of these_ to be shining by nine o'clock on the _dot._ No magic permitted for cleaning, Mister _Black,'_ she looks pointedly to the dark haired Gryffindor, who merely grins and ruffles his hair in response. 'I am only down the hall in my office marking papers, and as a result any _funny business_ will be heard by either I or Mister Filch. You may begin. Oh, and Miss Leola, _do_ try and keep these two in line'.

With that, she walks briskly from the room, leaving me smiling charmingly in her wake. 'Yes, _Professor!'_ I call after her sweetly. _Ha! Take that, Marauders._ Sirius sneers lightly at me as he raises his wand to _accio_ a couple of the trophies toward him, and Potter does the same soon after. 'She said _not_ to use magic,' I point out breezily, watching the two boys conjure some rags and kick their feet onto the chairs beside them.

'She said not to _clean_ with magic, Lola,' points out James, leaning back in his seat to look at me. 'You've gotta learn to find _loopholes_ , y'know. Since when were you such a goodie-good?'

'I'm in _detention,_ dumbo-'

' _Speaking_ of goodie-goods, how's things with Remus?' cuts in Sirius, turning slowly to face me with a coy smile as rubs slowly at the Quidditch trophy on his lap. I roll my eyes at him and _accio_ a few plaques my way, conjuring a much cleaner rag and throwing my wand onto the desk with a huff. 'Wouldn't kill you to _smile_ a little, Leola. What is it with you Slytherins and _scowling_ all the time? Reg has turned into a right sour old prat since getting sorted into your delightful House-'

'To be fair,' cut in James, cocking a brow at Sirius. 'That might be your mums doing, Pads'.

' _Very_ true, Prongs'.

I zone out of their idle chit chat and hunch over my desk, scrubbing at the dust caked onto the plaques. _Fleamont Potter. Beater. 1926._ 'Think I've got one of your dad's plaques over here, James,' I call out lightly, squinting at the thin gold writing. ' _Beater?_ Suppose you're too much of a skinny prat to follow in his footsteps-' I yelp as a rag is thrown in my direction, snorting. 'I was _joking-'_

'You're not _wrong_ ,' counters Sirius, grinning over to his best friend, handsome face amused. His legs were kicked onto the seat next to him in an effortless manner - how was he so damn pretty? Why couldn't _I_ be that pretty? ' _This_ is the form of a beater,' he proclaims cockily, letting go of the trophy he was polishing to hold up his arm and show off his 'muscles'. I looked on with a bored expression. 'Pfft. You sure know how to shit on a guys confidence, Leola,' Black said, pouting and dropping his arm.

'Oi, you better be watching the game tomorrow afternoon'. I cock a brow at James as he looks over his shoulder with a pointed look. 'And you _better_ be supporting Gryffindor, not those swots-'

I fight back an amused smile. 'Firstly, if I showed up the Slytherin stands in red and gold, I would get fucking decked. _Secondly,_ Brant's Ravenclaw Chaser. I _have_ to support the swots, I'm afraid'. It was true. Every year I managed to sneak into the Ravenclaw stands whenever they played, standing between Edith, Francis and Endrew in blue and bronze. I'm pretty sure Flitwick turned a blind eye to me sneaking to stand with the other Ravenclaws, anyway. Other than that, I rarely went to any of the games. Whereas my dad _loved_ Quidditch, I was never particularly interested in the sport. Muggle rugby, thanks to my mum, was always something I'd liked, though.

Potter sniffs and turns his back to me. ' _Traitor_ '.

We continued for the next hour, sharing idle chatter and slowly filling up the pile of cleaned plaques and trophies. Sirius works the slowest, probably not used to doing _any_ kind of chore in his sixteen years. Posh boy. I was still down low not over the fact that Potter's dad's name was _Fleamont_ and, as Sirius later mentioned, his _middle name._ Fleamont. That put my very embarrassing middle name to shame, to which the boys manage to get out of me after much pestering.

'Come _on_ ,' begs Sirius. 'Mine's fucking _Orion._ Prong's is _Fleatmont._ It can't be that bad. I mean, your names already _Lola Leola-'_

'It's another name beginning with L, isn't it?' cackles Potter, ditching his attempts at polishing a particularly dirty goblet. 'Come on, it is, right? Wormy is doing to die. He's always cracked up at your name-'

'You're both fucking bullies,' I sniff, ducking my curly head. After a pause, I purse my lips and sag. 'It's Lola Layla Leola, 'kay? Now shut the fuck up'.

There's a brief pause as the two boys stare at me.

'...I _need_ to meet your parents. They sound fucking hilarious. Honestly. I mean that in the best way possible'. Sirius throws his head back and laughs. 'Lola Layla Leola. _Merlin._ Try and say it super fast without stuttering, Prongs'.

' _Lola Layla Leola. Lola Layla Leola. Lola Layla Lola -_ no, wait-'

Sirius is practically wheezing with laughter at this point.

'I hate you both'.

Half an hour later, we're nearly done. The pile of polished goods is nearly as tall as the pile McGonagall left us with, but Sirius and James are still chatting away. They _never_ shut up. It's quite exhausting. 'Oi, do you want to come to my birthday? Gryffindor Common Room, of course. _Seventeen. Dancing Queen_. Gonna have it on Halloween, methinks. Only a few days early'.

I fight back an actual _nice smile,_ too pleased at being invited to yet another Gryffindor event. Slight awkwardly, I say, 'Oh, yeah. Okay. _Thanks_ '. It still baffled me that the Marauders actually _liked_ me beyond a few jokes shared here and there.

'But you've got to talk to Moony before then. Sort his shit mood out, please?' James calls back over his shoulder. I glower, mood dampening somewhat. He looks over his shoulder when I don't answer and rolls his hazel eyes. 'I'm not _trying_ to be a dick, Lola. You obviously fancy him, so just _go for it-'_

I narrow my eyes and open my mouth, but close it quickly. Surely they _knew?_ They shared a bloody dorm with Lupin, they spent every waking _second_ with each other...they called him Moony, for fucks sake. They must _know_ why he was avoiding me. He had said something along those lines in the throws of rejecting me. Which was _great,_ by the way. ' _Remus_ is the one being difficult,' I shoot back, raising my chin. 'And I don't... _fancy_ him-'

' _Sure_ , you don't,' says Black unconvincingly. 'Look, Moony is a moody shit, but he's got issues, y'know-?'

' _Pads_ ,' Potter says in warning.

Thank _Merlin,_ McGonagall walks swiftly into the classroom at that moment. Although we hadn't finished all of the required cleaning, she allows us to leave with a brief, 'No detention tomorrow due to Quidditch, Miss Leola. Saturday will resume as normal'. I nod, thrilled at the prospect of not having to sit in stoic silence with the Gryffindor Head of House. Gathering my things quickly, I dart from the room, hoping to lose Sirius and James-

'Not so fast'.

I cringe away from the arm slung once again around my shoulder, glaring up at Black with a stiff look. 'What could you possibly want _now?'_ All I wanted was to retreat into my green quilted bed and finish my Astronomy assignment. Was that so much to ask? _Bloody Marauders._

'Are you going to talk to Moony?'

'Are you going to fuck off?'

Potter snorts. 'You know, you remind me of an angry cat. You love us really, Lola Layla Leola, you softy. Oi, actually, I overheard your little brother telling his mates that you knit with your mum when you're at home. Sounds like a bloody _riot,_ that-' I blush scarlet, wondering if _Remus_ had heard this conversation. _Fucking Charlie. I'm going to kill him._ 'Aw, she's blushing'.

'I will end you,' I grumble, fighting to get out of Black's grip. 'Look, I'll _try_ and talk to Remus if you lot bugger off!' Liar. I was too mortified to even _look_ at him.

Sirius grins brightly down at me and drops his arm from my form. 'Now, _that's_ all we wanted! Don't know why you had to go on so much about it, to be honest with you'. I breath in deeply and close my eyes as we round the corner, praying that the two idiots would scamper off. 'This is our stop. See you tomorrow, Princess Happiness!'

They leave me standing alone in the corridor, fuming and still bright red.

I hate the Marauders.

* * *

 **Yoooooo. This was kind of a fun chapter because I felt like we needed more Marauder stuff. I know that Sirius was never mentioned to be on the Quidditch team, but I always liked the idea of him being on it. Hope you liked the chapter!**

 **ALSO GUYS, OVER 100 REVIEWS ILYYYY ALL.**


	15. Hairy Snout, Human Heart

_Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down_ - **Oprah Winfrey**

* * *

 _October 16th 1976_

 _4:10 PM_

* * *

The first thing I notice as the twins step out from the stone staircase leading to the Headmasters Office, is the sheer amount of weight Edith has lost. Her already elegantly slim frame seemed to be weak with fragility as she leaned against Endrew, her wide blue slightly more shadowed than before. My heart breaks for a moment, and I cough away the alarmed expression that had settled on my face.

I move forward, away from Brant and Francis, and envelope her in a hug. Beside me, I feel Brant do the same to Endrew, muttering something into the youngest of the twins ear. I lean more into Edith's frame. 'I'm so sorry, Edith. You don't know how fucking glad I am to have you back,' I tell her, chin pressed against her shoulder and arms encircling her slim form. _Need to feed her up._

I step away from her and Francis practically trips forward to crush her in his arms, his lip wobbling as he does so. I fight back a smile as I go to hug Endrew, cracking up a little as he rolls his eyes. He looks tired and more serious that usual, the casual clothes he wears ruffled and creased. I can only assume that they came straight from home after saying goodbye to Mrs Bandini and flooing to the school.

'Hey, dude,' I mutter, wrapping my arms around Endrew's neck. 'You good?'

He smiles slightly as he pulls away, light brow cocked and a half smile on his face. 'As good as can be, Lo'.

After a while, we start through the halls of Hogwarts, which are filled with the two opposing colours of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. 'Is it the game today?' asks Edith, hand latched with Francis's. 'That'll be nice, won't it, 'Drew?' The latter nods, pressed between myself and Brant as we stroll behind Edith and Francis. 'Yes, I'm down with going to that, I think'. She nods determinedly and I glance up at Brant.

She was trying so hard. _Poor Edith._

'So, go on then, what have we missed? _Please_ can we brush aside this mopey silence'. Endrew nudges me in the side and I smile lightly. Edith hums in agreement and glances over her shoulder with a slight smile. 'We're good, guys. _Honestly._ I'm still slightly shell-shocked that Brant just _hugged_ me, though'.

'I was trying to be nice, you prick,' scoffs Brant, reaching over me to thump Endrew lightly on the arm. ' _And_ you'll be happy to know that Little Miss Sunshine over here hexed Bulstrode and Nott, and ended up getting a cracked skull in the process. Oh, yeah, and she somehow managed to fuck things up with Loopy Lupin. Won't tell me how, though-'

'You did _what?'_ Edith turns on her heel and considers me with a disappointed look, blue eyes narrowed. 'Lola, _how_ do you manage it-?'

'They deserved it, 'Dith,' says Francis, placing a hand lightly on his girlfriends shoulder. I nearly fall over in shock and stare at him, and Brant snorts to my left in disbelief. 'Honestly, petal. They even got one months more detention than Lola, I'll have you know'. With Edith calmed down, he sends me a soft nod to which I return, still a little put out. _Merlin. Who knew Francis actually gave a shit?_

I hide a grin behind my hand and hook my arm through Endrew's. 'Don't you have to go and get ready for the game, Brant?' I frown at him and he starts, stopping still. 'Thought so'.

'Fuck, I completely forgot. I'll have to see you later, guys. Really happy to have the both of you back-'

'Just hurry up and go, Brantley!' calls Edith, looking over her shoulder and waving him away with a flick of her wrist. She shakes her head and grins, dimples lighting up her face. She sighs lightly as we ascend the grand staircase, her hand tightening its grip on Francis. I watch her carefully, looking for any sign of her falling apart. _They're better than I thought they'd be. Endrew's quiet though._ 'It's good to be back'.

And it was good to have them back. Everything just seemed to much more...in place with the both of them back. I nudge Endrew in the side and grin cheekily. 'Oi, I found a secret passageway to the Honeydukes basement. _So many sweets,_ dude'.

His jaw drops and I laugh.

Yes. Good. Everything was good.

How long would _that_ fucking last. Now let's fast forward two weeks, shall we?

* * *

 _31st October 1976_

 _6:15 PM_

* * *

'It's not _my_ fucking fault Ravenclaw is doing so shit this term, Brant!' I yell, bashing a book against the back of his head. We're in the Ravenclaw Common Room, finishing up the last of our Charms assignments with some difficulty. It was honestly a fucking miracle that I was expected to pass all of my N.E.W.T's when I felt like every essay I did was sending me further into the deep end.

Brant swats away the boot titled _Quintessence: A Quest_ with a grumpy look on his face. 'I _know_ that. I'm simply stating that it would be nice if you came to some of my practices-'

'Oh, _pookie!'_ I trill, grinning and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. 'Do you _miss_ me?'

'I think he sees you as some kind of good luck charm, Lo,' Edith quips from her place in front of the fire place. Her legs were crossed neatly in front of her as the Charms textbook levitated just off the ground as she scribbled notes. 'It's quite sweet, really'.

Endrew snorts from the other side of me. 'Lame'. I glance at him and grin, to which he winks and goes back to chucking his remembrall in the air and catching it lightly. 'Oi, are _we_ invited to this Halloween/Sirius Black Birthday party bash too, or is just _you?'_ I let go of Brant and stick my tongue out at him. 'What? Go on, Lo. Get us invited-'

'If you would _let_ me speak,' I cut in. 'You are invited. He came up to me at breakfast and gave me the password and said I could bring you three. I think he pretty much assumed I'd be bringing the lot of you-'

Edith giggled lightly and looked up from her notes. 'It was quite funny, really. She was hardly paying attention to what Black was saying because Lupin was standing a few feet behind him pretending he couldn't _see_ her. What _happened_ between the two of you, Lo? I thought you were doing quite well to have a _normal_ relationship with a _normal_ boy. Not like that troublemaker _Fabian-'_

 _That normal boy is a werewolf, 'Dith. Sorry to burst your bubble._

I sniff and cross my legs, burrowing myself deeper into the light blue sofa cushions. 'I am _quite_ content being single, Edith. _Thank you._ If Remus wants to be immature about the whole ordeal, let him. Stupid _boy._ And Fabian was nice! He sent me a letter last week asking how I was doing, y'know. His sister Molly and her husband Arthur Weasley had another baby. Peter or something-'

' _Anyway,'_ cuts in Endrew, shifting next to me and knocking his knee against mine. 'Edith and I have had a _very_ hard time as of late, and as a result we need to have _fun._ _Neither_ of you are fucking off to find either a guy or girl to bang'. He directs the statement at the both of us, and it's only then that I realise both Brant and I like both genders. Huh, how fucking dumb am I? I was still getting used to Brant banging the male species.

'I can't believe you used that as a way to get your own way,' Edith said, gazing at her brother. 'Dad would be proud'.

At that, Endrew grins. 'Ravenclaw,' he says, tapping his head lightly. 'Oi, is it dress up, then? You haven't told us anything'. At my guilty look and nod, he groans. 'Oh, thank Merlin. Edith and I bought the _best_ muggle costumes this summer. Is Francis going to the Ravenclaw party or coming with us, 'Dith?'

Edith moves slightly in her seat and shrugs. I nudge Brant and he catches my eye. _Best friend vibes. We clocked that awkward shuffle._ 'I think he's going to stay here for the party'.

There's a brief pause.

'What are _you_ going as?' Endrew says, louder than necessary. He swivels to look at Brant and I with raised eyebrows. Ha. Brant and I had tried out costumes on yesterday to celebrate the end of my detentions (honestly, it looked as if McGonagall might shed a tear) and they looked _awesome._ 'Oh, come on, aren't you going to say?'

'Are _you_ going to tell _us_ what you're going as?' shoots back Brant, snapping his Charms textbook shut.

'Yeah. Bonnie and Clyde. Muggle _classic'._ Endrew looks quite proud of this and I scoff, glancing back toward Brant as he raises his eyebrows. I know then what he's thinking. _We're still not going to tell him._

'Still not telling you,' Brant laughs.

'You dick!'

I laugh and kick my feet onto the table, to which Edith scowls at. Whatever. She couldn't dampen my mood today. I had received my first _Outstanding_ of the year on an Astrology paper on the places of the planets and their force on the tides of Earth. I fucking _aced_ the lesson too. Though there was only a few of us who took the class, Sinistra showed some _blatant_ fucking favouritism toward me. After I answered one of the questions right on the placement of the moon that night (showing that I _actually_ fucking looked at our moon charts) she had _winked_ at me. Ha! I love being loved.

All of a sudden, I stiffen and draw my brows together, a sudden thought entering my head.

The placement of the moon.

Shit.

How did I not _realise_ at the time? The full moon was _tomorrow!_

It was nearing a fucking _month_ since I had dry humped Lupin and almost told him I knew he was a fucking werewolf. A month since he had pushed himself away from me and given off some serious self-hate vibes. Merlin, would he even _be_ at the party? I had checked out a book in the library (with some shifty eyes to Pince as if she knew _why_ I was checking it out) titled _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_ that had been published just the year before. If memory served correct, it had been the reason for that certain debate of myself and Sirius vs Yaxley in DADA last year.

I had felt so _dumb_ checking it out of the library. Still, I learnt certain things from it. He was gonna be horny near the full moon, that much I had learned. Sensitive to light, too. Just all around moody, horny and tired. Like puberty turned up to 100.

In all honesty, I was preparing for that moment I _did_ speak to him again. I wanted...wanted to, like, be able to get where he was _at_. Not bombard him with anything...just be able to get why he was moody or, if the time did come for him to know I knew, I would be prepared for any arguments he might pose.

Merlin. How fucking stupid do I sound? Feelings _do not_ suit me.

...Not that I _have_ any.

'Oi, dickhead-' I jump away from Brant's light punch to my shoulder and blush. _Stop thinking about Lupin!_ 'Shit, you actually looked deep in thought for once. I don't think I've _ever_ seen that happen. I was _going_ to ask if you wanted me to meet you outside the Slytherin Common Room? Matching costumes and all. Plus, I don't want to be seen with whatever cracked up fancy dress these two have thought up-'

'We are gonna look fucking _cool,_ okay? I have a fedora and everything,' defends Endrew, leaning forward in his seat to glare at Brant.

Brant merely cocks a brow coolly and smiles breezily.

It doesn't take long for me to ditch the idiots and make my way to the Slytherin Common Room in the dungeons, dodging past the herds of excited first years that are high on sugar from the epic Halloween Feast. Of course, I dodge one so flamboyantly that I end up barging sideways into someone and knocking their bag across the floor. I blanch and jump, giving the annoying little first years a glare.

They _sprint_ away.

Turning toward whoever I had knocked into, I begin to apologise but stop quickly, eyes widening and form freezing. Gryffindor robes, sandy hair, broad shoulders and ruddy looking shoes. Despite the persons crouched form as they gather their booked, it's obvious who it fucking is.

Remus.

I practically fall to my knees and grab any book I can get, cheeks flaming and heart hammering. _I can't believe he has this effect on me. I'm fucking nervous for Merlin's sake!_ 'Oh, fuck, sorry-' He looks up suddenly. _He hadn't realised it was me. Fuck._ I meet his gaze with a blank eyes, taking in the tiredness of his light brown eyes. The bag are there, too, not to mention the paleness of his skin. 'Hi, Remus,' I say lightly.

He opens his mouth, stalls, and then coughs into a closed fist. I hand the Arithmancy books over slowly as he says, 'Hi, Lola'.

There's a pause.

We both stand slowly.

This is awkward.

Merlin, he's nice looking.

Merlin, I've missed talking to him.

I adjust my bag and smile lightly, looking up at his awkward face. 'Are you going to Sirius's party tonight?' _Stupid question, idiot! The fact you asked him makes it look like you know there's a reason he wouldn't go._ 'I mean, of course you are. Duh'. _I am Lola Leola. I am scary and a Slytherin. How is this Gryffindor making me stutter and blush?_

He actually sends me a half smile and drops the last of his books into his book-bag. 'For a little, yeah. I'm feeling a little...under the weather'. He cringes lightly and avoids my gaze, probably knowing how over-used the excuse us.

I nod quickly. 'Yeah. I've heard of a bug going around the school, you know'.

He looks slowly back at me, the grimace leaving his face and instead being replaced by a cool and curious look. 'Oh, really?' _The fuck? Why is his tone so judging? I'm trying to help you, douchebag. Merlin, how can this boy change from being nice, to moody, to cocky, to awkward? Oh, yeah, werewolf hormones._ 'It might be that then. I guess I'll see you there, then, Lola'.

I step back as he starts to walk away, wishing more than anything we could go back to that blooming friendship. _If Brant could hear me now, he would punch me._ 'Yeah, okay...' I want to call after him and ask him if we could be good again - if we _were_ good. I wanted to ask him if he was going to dress up tonight or go casual. I wanted to ask him how he _was._

I didn't, of course. I merely cough and hurry off in the other direction with a strange tightening in my throat and a burning behind my eyes. Once again, he left me feeling dumb and mortified.

Stupid _boys._

Still, that does not change how fucking _slammin'_ I look in my costume for that night. As I apply the rest of my mascara and light pink lipstick, I grin into the mirror and feel pretty for the first time in a long time. _Lookin' good, Leola._ I've even put some sleek potion through my curly mass of hair to give it a shinier look, rather than that rats nest it usually resembles.

As I wander from the bathroom and into the green decorated dorm, I stop short and note that Vanity was sitting on the edge of her bed reading a letter intently. Huh, I thought all of the Slytherins were already gathered in the Common Room for their own party. I look awkwardly about for a moment, tugging at my bright blue dress that barely brushes my butt and leaning forward slightly to peer at her face.

With a start, the blonde girl looks up at me with a furious blue gazed glare and damp cheeks.

Fuck.

Holy. Fuck.

She was _crying._

'Jesus Fuck. Are you _crying?'_ I yelp before I can stop myself, eyes wide and mouth agape. She rises to her feet, clad in her uniform still, and points a painted finger at me with a sneer on her pretty face. 'Oh, fuck, okay. Sorry!' I hold my hands up and step away from her. 'I was just...' _Be nice. Be nice._ '...Are you _okay_?' The words feel like acid coming out of my mouth; directed as fucking _Emma Vanity_ of all people.

For a split second, the sneer on her face falters. For a split second, she looks like she might actually answer me. Instead her, sharp blue eyes narrow once again and she turns her back to me with a, 'I do not need the help of you, you filthy blood traitor. Now fuck off to you Gryffindor party with all the other muggle-lovers'.

I give a thumbs up and a tight smile. 'Well, _okay then_. See you later, alligator'. Halfway down the spiral staircase, I throw a very mature middle finger to the direction of our dormitory and stick my tongue out. Hey, at least I didn't do it _to her._

I push through the groups of Slytherins who have opted to hardly dress up at all, and tug Jone away from a group of nasty looking second years. He gazes up at me with wide eyes and spiky black hair. ' _Go_ to your dormitory,' I scowl at him, pushing him toward the boys dorms. 'What are you even doing down here? It's a bloody snakes nest. They'll eat you alive. Halloween, dumbo. Lots of tricksters about'. He opens his mouth to speak but I glare and push him again. 'Oi. _Go'._

He huffs and nods and, after he leaves, I glare at the group of boys who ogle at my legs. _Yeah, I'm mighty fine when I'm just a slab of meat and you're not hurling insults at me that your parents taught you. Turds._ I slide form the Common Room and hop onto the cold floor of the dungeons with a flourish and a smile, glad to see Brant waiting for me decked out in his golden shirt and dark pants.

'Captain,' I greet regally, giving him a little salute.

'Mister Spock,' greets Brant in return, bowing his head a little. I've got the pointed fucking ears and _everything._ Lady Spock, people. That's right. Brant snorts and holds out his arm for me. 'Merlin, we're cool'.

'Well, I know _that,'_ I shoot back.

We, apparently, are one of the many people who turn up to Sirius Black's Birthday/Halloween party in muggle costumes. Edith and Endrew hang by the portrait hole as we step through, decked out with fake guns and pristine looking 30's muggle clothing. Marlene McKinnon passes us, dressed as Maria von Trapp, which I thought was fucking _cool._ 'Hey, you should see Potter and Black. They look mental-' starts Endrew, but is quickly cut off as Sirius Black hurtles toward our group, decked out in a floor length beard and dark blue, glittering robes.

I laugh loudly and point. 'You _haven't_ -'

He stops in front of us, grey eyes peeking out from between his extravagant facial hair. Regally, his spreads his arms. 'Miss Leola,' he rasps in a whimsical voice. 'How pleasant to see you here-'

'You came as _Dumbledore?'_ Brant cuts in, gazing at Black like he is the greatest thing he's ever seen. I roll my eyes and catch Edith's similar look. _Merlin, Black could turn up in a bin and Brant would swoon._

'That's _Headmaster_ Dumbledore to you, Mister Zaveri,' Sirius continues, swaying uneasily on his feet. _Joy, he's wrecked. I need to be drunk to even consider talking to a wrecked Sirius Black._ 'And, I must say, those are some _legs,_ Miss Leola-' I lean forward and smack him on the shoulder, hardly holding back my laughter. 'Ow! Detention! Ten points from Slytherin!'

Suddenly, the music kicks up a notch as the mass of Gryffindors swarm around us, all decked out in different outfits. Through the swarm, I see Remus and Peter. Peter's wearing a green outfit (tights included) and I come to the conclusion that he must be Peter Pan. Remus, on the other hand, is wearing a ripped black shirt that shows a sliver of his rib-cage, and an eye patch.

It is, without a doubt, the shittiest pirate costume I have ever seen.

And I am _not_ staring at that strip of skin.

Yanking Black toward the 'dance-floor' and tearing my gaze away from Lupin, I nod for my little band of friends to follow. No, I want to have _fun._ The twins deserve to have _fun._ 'Go on then, Birthday Boy. Show us where the drinks are. Who's up for a game of Never Have I Ever?'

Brant grins and Edith rolls her eyes, whereas Endrew's gaze follows a scarcely dress Dorcas Meadowes.

Sirius merely hooks his arm and tugs me forward.

* * *

 **WOO OKAY I AM PUMPED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. Thank you for the reviews, they made my day!**


	16. His Middle Is John

_I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil_ \- **Marilyn Monroe**

* * *

 _October 31st 1976_

 _10:40 PM_

* * *

Edith practically _downs_ the vodka and cloudy lemonade that Lily Evans chucks at her, pale cheeks a dusted pink and large blue eyes hazy. I cackle at Evans as she sits down on the carpet, stance a little wobbly. _How much have I yearned to see Lily Evans like this?_

'Lily Evans,' I drawl, the copious amounts of alcohol giving me the confidence I need to talk to the pretty red-head. 'You are _drunk'._ She crosses her legs gracefully, decked out in a Holly Golightly costume, her red hair pulled into a bun at the top of her head. I wanted to kill her a little bit when I saw her, you know. How could she be so fucking _pretty?_ I could never pull of such an _elegant_ look.

Lily struggles to cross her legs in a way that won't flash us in her tight black dress, and instead settles on spreading them out in front of her on the red plush carpet of the Common Room. 'You know what. I am,' she says, pointing a finger at me. 'I have had a hard day, and I felt I deserved a drink. Or five-'

'Or six,' cuts in Marlene McKinnon, snorting when Lily glares at her with her brilliant green eyes. McKinnon, who I had always kind of liked and thought was _stunning,_ was wearing a skimpy cave-woman outfit that showed off every curve that girl had. I mean, she was _packing_ a fab bum and thighs. 'Oi, Leola, your outfit is brilliant. Those boots are to _die_ for'.

I uncross my legs and wiggle my feet in my knee high boots. Grinning, I look up at her and take a swig of my firewhiskey and coke. 'Thank you, McKinnon'.

'It's _Marlene'._

'Well, then. It's _Lola'._

She dips her drink and nods. 'Fair'.

I was having _fun._ The four of us were sitting in a tight circle off to the corner of the Common Room, away from the frantic dancing and the sweaty teenagers. Lily Evans had yanked me away from Sirius Black half an hour before, telling him that I was _not_ to be one of his 'blasted victims'. She was pretty drunk already, as Marlene had told me.

Then there was Edith. The girl had practically downed a bottle of vodka in nearly an hour. Something was up with her, but I knew she wouldn't tell me until she was on the floor from drinking.

'I'm _Lily,'_ said Lily Evans, adjusting the pearls around her neck and plucking the long cigarette holder from her cleavage. 'Oh, bloody hell. Potter saw me do that. How mortifying'. Her face turns a steady shade of red and she ducks her head and takes a sip from her drink. I watch her, a grin slowly forming on my face. 'Oh, he's gone back to dancing with Peter. That's good. Hey, Lola, you're quite nice, you know'.

I blink at her and smile lightly. Elbowing Edith in the side, I nod to Lily. 'Hear that? I'm _nice'._

'I never said you weren't!'

'You _implied_ it-'

Marlene cut in then. 'Honestly, Lola, I thought you were a bit of a bitch. After last year, though, you were kinda alright. I mean, if Sirius and James and the others like you, a _Slytherin,_ you can't be that bad. And you, Edith. You're not half as mad as I thought you were. That brother of yours is alright too'. She leans back on hands and smiles drunkenly, looking quite proud of her little speech.

'You guys are gonna make me blush,' I deadpan, scoffing. 'You two are good in my books, anyway. For a bunch of do-gooder Gryffindors'. Marlene scoffs at that and sips her drink, eyes focused idly on something just over my shoulder. With a little quirk of her brow, she scoffs.

'I'm gonna be Head Girl next year,' announces Evans suddenly, dropping her drink to her lap. 'And I am going to do a bloody _good job_ of it-'

'She's very humble, this one,' Marlene scoffs, patting Lily lightly on the thigh. The latter scowls moodily at her friend, but the scowl only grows deeper when a pair of firm hands are planted on my shoulders. 'Black,' Marlene drawls lightly, leaning away from her friend to look coolly at the bearded Sirius Black who hovers above me. 'Can we help you?'

I look up and see the splendid sight of Sirius's beard and nose looming above me. How delightful. Huh. I wonder if he would pull tonight. What would it be like having sex with Dumbledore?

 _...Maybe I should stop drinking._

'You ladies can help me in _many_ ways,' Sirius says, wiggling his thick, grey eyebrows. 'Now, where's that game of Never Have I Ever I was promised, Leola?'

'Oh my Merlin, _yes,'_ Edith slurs, leaning her form towards mine and nearly knocking my drink from my hands. 'Let's do it. Oi, Brant, Endrew!' I look at her bemusedly as she calls over her shoulder to the two boys who lean against the red, cushioned sofa. Brant nearly spills his drink on his yellow shirt at Edith's loud voice, and about half the party looks her way. 'Oh, is this _ABBA_? I blood love this song, you know'. She begins to wave her hands about herself. _Is that dancing?_

Turning away from her, I grab Sirius's wrists and turn awkwardly, attempting to tug myself upward. ' _Yessss_ ,' I say, attempting to stand uneasily to my feet. He catches my hands and snorts, letting go of me as I steady myself. 'I love that game. Let's _do_ it-'

'Never Have I Ever, 'ey?' Potter sidles up beside Black, decked out in a black cape, a powdered white face and fake vampire teeth. 'Evans, you're looking as beautiful as ever-' He's cut off by Pettigrew wrapping an arm around his neck and hiccuping and I giggle, _way_ too amused by this sight. Still, with a brief look over my shoulder I catch Lily blushing once again. Marlene seems to be eyeing her friend with a smug look. 'Oi, who wants to play Never Have I Ever!'

Soon, there's a circle of us gathered around in the corner of the Common Room. As I plant myself between Endrew and Brant (Edith sits next to Marlene McKinnon and begins chattering away to her), I note those who have decided to join our silly game. There's James, Sirius, Peter, Remus (Merlin, why does he have to sit opposite me? And _why_ did he look so tired? Couldn't he go to _bed_ ), Marlene, Lily, Dorcas, Kingsley (a tasty seventh year), Brant, Edith, Endrew, Frank, Alice and a few seventh years I couldn't name.

The rest of the party was spread out around the Common Room, listening to some band of witches sing about cooking up a potion of love, and drinking copious amounts of firewhiskey.

'Right,' Potter starts, leaning forward in the circle, legs bent beneath him. 'Never have I ever...skipped school'. At least half over the people in the circle scoff and take gulps of their drinks. Awkwardly, I avoid eye contact with Lupin and sip at my firewhiskey, thinking of the last time I had skipped school. Brant snickers next to me.

'That was bloody weak, Prongs. And I can say with certainty you _have_ done that,' Sirius proclaims as conversations break out among a few of the people in the circle. Brant clinks his glass with mine, catching my attention. With a brief nod toward Edith, who sits on the other side of Endrew, he raises a brow. Looking over, I see her chugging back her drink which, from this angle, looks to be pretty much straight firewhiskey. I frown at Brant. _The fuck is up with her._ 'Never have I ever...pissed myself in public'.

Black grins evilly as a few people in the circle cackle. To everyone's immense amusement, Peter swears and takes a slug of his drink, cheeks flaming. 'You're a fucking prick, Padfoot. I _told_ you to stop that tickle charm. It was _your_ fault'.

'That's bloody gross, Peter,' Marlene trills, giggling. Sirius merely ruffles his best friends blonde hair and laughs.

I watch as Remus looks onto his friends with a lightly amused look and my stomach twists. I wanted to talk to him more than anything, and the drink only made that need so much worse. Merlin, how likely was it that I would make an arse out of myself? _Pretty fucking likely._ I take another sip of my drinks and lean against Endrew, leaning over his form and asking Edith quickly if she's alright.

With bright blue eyes, she turns away from Marlene and grins, nodding.

I pull away and give Endrew a pointed look, to which he huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. 'She's been weird all day,' he murmurs, drawing close to me. His breath _stinks_ of whatever cheap vodka the seventh years had brought to the party. 'Something with Francis, I reckon. Not been right with him since we came back'. I draw away and blink, sending him a half awkward/half sad smile.

One day...one day I would know how to project emotions properly.

Bugger it, I was drunk. Who cares?

With a brief look in Lupin's direction, I see his stare planted solidly on me. My stomach practically drops out of my arse at the forcefulness of his look and my cheeks _flame._ I glance away quickly and look to Peter, who's stumbling over a Never Have I Ever to choose. With one look back to Remus, I see his eyes have moved to Endrew. A surge of anger surges through me when I realise the implications of his stare and, even as Peter speaks, I stare hard at Remus's face.

When he looks back to me, there's a moment of surprise in his stare. _You're drunk. Quit it._ After a second, it settles into that dark look that I, now, have come to realise arrives with the coming of the full moon. The dark bags underneath his eyes are sign enough, but the fact that the scars running across his jaw and cheek are so much more pronounced because of his paleness enhances how the moon must be affecting him.

With a dark amber gaze that has my insides churning, Remus glances down at my legs and takes a deep swig from the cider bottle in his grasp, and I practically flood my fucking basement all over again.

'Oi, dick, take a fucking drink, will you?'

I jump and glare at Brant, whom appears to be smirking, and blink as others around me take swigs from their drinks. Brant gives Remus a blank stare and turns back to me with raised eyebrows. 'Pettigrew said Never Have I Ever smoked weed. Safe to say you've done that, love'.

'Ha, _ha_ ,' I snap, drinking quickly and looking _everywhere_ but at Remus Lupin.

Remus's Never Have I Ever is simple. _Never have I gone skinny dipping._ Merlin, why did he have to put that image in my head? I watch as only myself, Brant, Sirius and James drink. The seventh years throw some dirtier ones about. _Never have I ever slept with a muggle._ Ah, that muggle girl. _Drink._ Stupidly, I glance to see if Remus drinks. Nada.

Oddly, I'm pleased.

When it ends up being Brant's turn, he hides a smirk behind his hand and says, quickly, 'Never have I ever lost my virginity in a place other than the bedroom-'

He cuts himself off and cackles at my glare, and to my utter mortification it ends up being only the two of us drinking. _Joy, now all of his do-gooder Gryffindors think I'm a raging slut. Nice one._ Whilst Black cackles, I take a quick sip of my drink and nudge Brant in the side. 'You did _too_ , you dick-'

'Where the bloody hell was it?' Marlene asks loudly, as the seventh years whoop out a chorus of, ' _Story time!'_

'None of your bloody business,' Brant laughs, shifting and throwing an arm around my shoulder. 'A gentleman never tells'. There's a chorus of disappointed noises, but Brant just waves them off as Lily Evans spills her drink, drawing the attention away from the two of us. As Potter goes about bravely swooshing his wand to clean it up in his drunken state, Brant mutters, 'Lupin looked about ready to kill me. There's you clarification, you hussy'.

I look at him and, before my drunken mouth can stop the words, I say, 'Really?' in a hopelessly pathetic manner.

'Oi, your go, Lola!' Sirius yells over the noise of the Common Room.

I flip him the finger before grinning and saying. 'Never have I ever... _ummmm_. Oh, never have I ever left Britain'.

'Merlin, really?' Potter said, taking a gulp of his drink. 'You're bloody _boring_ , aren't you?'

I scoff and flip him the finger too. The game carries on for a few more rounds before Black bellows that he's bored and wants to dance and drink more. Apparently, the others wholeheartedly agree. Still, I learnt a few interesting things about my fellow classmates. Edith has never given a blowjob. Evans and Frank have never smoked weed. And, to my completely surprise, Evans, James and, to my utter drunken delight, _Remus_ have never had sex.

Why does that make me want to bone him all the more?

I stumble to my feet as the group disperses, and Edith hangs back with Lily and Marlene as the girls giggle and stumble toward one of the smaller tables in the Common Room. Endrew, bless him, grabs my arm as I nearly fall over and laughs, hot vodka smelling breath on my face. Brant staggers forward before starting for the dance floor, most likely heading for the direction the bearded Sirius Black disappeared to.

I tug Endrew toward the dance floor, far too overjoyed to hear _Hooked On A Feeling_ blaring through the Common Room. 'I _love_ this song!' I yell, tripping over the sofa and yanking Endrew to the small mesh of students dancing to the song. His blue eyes light up as he wiggles his hips and throws his arms about, laughing and spinning me about. And I'm fucking _happy_...so happy that's hes having fun after the _shit_ time he'd had lately.

And then, suddenly, something bad is happening. I'm dancing _far_ too close to him and his breath is far too warm against my cheeks. His blue eyes are large and and pretty and all I can think about, in my horrible bitchy Slytherin way, is that I hope Remus is watching. I hope he feels jealous. And so, I use Endrew in the worst way possible and plant my lips against his and wrap my arms about his neck, body pressed against his.

' _Moony-!'_

The music is still loud. The people are still shouting and talking. But, even as I pull myself away from Endrew, I still see the form of James Potter pulling Remus toward the staircase as the latter elbows his friend in the side. I look at Endrew and shake my head, a move of which he mirrors. 'Fuck, _sorry_ '. I push myself away from him, and he looks slightly green and shell-shocked, and start for the two of them. Firewhiskey, as you can see, makes me into a fucking idiot.

James is already stumbling down the boys staircase when I reach them, running a hand through his mess of black hair. He throws me a _done_ look when he sees me, hazel eyes narrowed and standing out against his vampire white skin. He cocks a brow. 'That was pretty shitty of you, Leola'.

I move away from the music and up the first step, feeling like a childish fucking idiot and not knowing quite what I was doing. 'I know. It was _shitty_. Shittier than shitty. If you let me past, I'm going to _talk_ to him-' The words sound like drunken ramblings, even to my ears.

Thankfully, Potter is drunk too.

He narrows his eyes and crosses his arms, the cape he's wearing flaring dramatically behind him. Even as drunk as I am in my short blue dress, I fully appreciate how fucking dumb he looks. 'There's stuff with Remus that you can't understand, and if you can't _be patient_ with him as he sorts his shit out-'

Word vomit happens, then. 'Potter'. I take another step up so that I'm just below eye level with him. ' _James._ I know, alright?' I talk quietly. Or, as quietly as I can over the loud music. _Fuck. I hope Endrew's okay. That was dumb of me._ 'I've known since the last full moon. Brant and I were on the grounds and we saw it - fuck, _him. Him._ And then he looked like shit the next day and, well, it's not that hard to figure out once you pull everything together-'

James stares at me, arms dropping to his side and mouth slightly agape. If I hadn't been so panicked, I might have made fun of him. 'You...you _know?_ Does Zaveri?'

 _'Fuck, no._ I haven't told _anyone._ Don't fucking worry about that, okay? And I would appreciate you _not_ telling Remus until he's ready to tell me,' I cross my arms and cock a brow. 'Can I trust you to be a loyal, do-gooder Gryffindor about this, Potter?'

Potter opens and closes his mouth. 'I can't believe you bloody _know_...after all the worrying he's bloody done...Just _tell_ him-'

I take another step up quickly and snap, 'No!' _Why are men so fucking dense?_ 'He's obviously having some 'self-hate' moment, right? I want him to get to a place where he can _tell me._ As a, y'know, _friend_ or whatever'.

Finally, the shocked look drops from his dumb face and he smiles slyly. ' _Friend_. Sure thing, Lola'.

I huff out a sigh and edge forward. 'Are you going to let me up?' After a moment, he sighs and steps aside, back pressed against the wall. I grin and start up the stairs, throwing him a quick pat on the shoulder and a, 'Thanks, buddy. Tell Brant I'm okay, won't you?' Suddenly, as I hear James start down the stairs toward the party, I feel terrified. Notoriously, I am horrendous at confrontation. And what the fuck am I supposed to say to him? _Sorry I got off with my best friend even though we're not together so you shouldn't care so now I sound dumb._

Nice one.

I nearly walk into the wrong dorm about six times, but finally, I reach the familiar door and lightly knock on it, feeling ridiculous and hammered. _I told Potter I know. I swear, if he tells anyone I will hex him right back to the time of the Founders._

'Prongs, bugger off. I'm _fine_ '.

With my heart basically coming out of my fucking mouth, I croak out, 'Um. Not Prongs'.

There's a pause in which I tug frantically at my suddenly stupidly short dress and wish to Merlin that he wouldn't ignore me, when the door is suddenly yanked open and I'm brought face to face with a bleary eyed Remus Lupin, his belt already half undone.

I close my eyes briefly and curse whatever God is up there.

'Oh. You alright?' he says awkwardly, wiggling his toes in his socks. I blink at them before looking back up at him, feeling more daft than ever. 'I, er, sorry about that. I just-'

I roll my eyes, deciding to take on the Slytherin Lola approach. Awkward Lola needed to die a painful death. I push past him lightly and enter the boys room, frowning a little at the white powder that seems to decorate the area where James's bed is. Either James had a coke addition I didn't know about, or it was that make up he's wearing. I go with the latter. 'Don't say _sorry_. You say that a lot, y'know? I _shouldn't_ have kissed him like that. It was dumb. Poor guy looked like he wanted to puke, anyway'. I turn on my heel and face Remus, and frown. 'You look tired'.

He shifts and kicks the door shut with the back of his foot. With a slight shrug, he says, 'Drunk, really'. _Liar. It's because the full moon's tomorrow. And because you're drunk, yeah._ 'Got nothing to say sorry for, have you? I'm the one that's fucking you about. Left you in that bloody tunnel...' He cringes and avoids looking at me, a _help me God_ look plastered on his face.

I scuff my shoe against the carpet and struggle with words for a moment. With an alcohol fogged brain, I sigh. 'I don't know. I probably do. You probably do. Actually, you _definitely_ do. Does this mean you're going to stop fucking avoiding me and be my friend again? So what if we make out sometimes? _I'm_ not complaining-'

He looks away from his feet and frowns at me. 'But...it's not _just-'_

 _Yeah. You're a werewolf. I'm trying to make this easy for you and disregard my bloody dumb emotions, stupid._ 'Fuck the rest. Let's be friends, okay? Stop _complicating_ everything, dude. I'm not half as bad as everyone seems to think, you know. Let's be buddies'. I grin and restrain patting myself on the back. _Nice speech, Leola._

He actually smiles at that, and my heart feels just that little bit lighter. 'You sure about that?'

I glower and stick my tongue out. 'Bugger off. Oi, this one's your bed, right?' I stumble toward the one I had seen him sitting on last time I'd been here, trying and failing to kick off my boots as I go.

'... _Why_?'

I plop onto the bed and kick my boots away from me. They smack against the wall at the furthest end of the room. 'So I can have my filthy way with you, of course'. I grin as he throws me a deadpan look. 'I'm _joking_. Can I stay up here with you? The party has lost its touch, and I've missed your titillating banter the past few weeks, Loopy'. He opens his mouth, hands stuffed into his pockets and I panic. 'Oh, fuck. Unless you don't want me here. That's _so okay-'_

'Shut up, Lola. Merlin, you talk a lot, you know. You put Pads to shame'. He grins and starts forward and my heart thumps against my rib-cage. With a snort, I push myself back onto his bed and cross my legs, hoping to _Merlin_ that my feet don't smell. 'Budge up, will you?'

I oblige, watching him closely as he settled beside me on the bed. _Okay. This is okay. This is what friends do._

And, somehow, we start fucking _talking._ Stupid, tipsy conversation that is fuelled by firewhiskey and weeks of not talking to one another. I tell him about Sirius and James badgering me to talk to him in that detention, to which he rolls his eyes, and he tells me that he actually kind of wants to be a teacher. I snort at that, informing him that he would have to pay me a grand sum of money before I stuck myself in a room with a bunch of little witches and wizards all day. I don't miss the bitter look on his face when he informs me of his preferred profession.

Halfway through our talking, in which we're shoulder to shoulder with our socked feet spread out in front of us, Peter comes in, grunts, and falls face first onto his bed. I laugh for nearly five minutes whilst Remus snickers and tries to quietly put some charms around the drunken idiots bed and magic his drapes shit. 'You'll thank me later,' he mutters squinting as he aims his wand at the bed. 'He snores'.

I don't mention the implications of this statement.

I tell him I want to work in Astronomy, perhaps in the Ministry. He tells me he had always imagined me working in law enforcement, or perhaps at some dive bar in the depths of London. I promptly tell him to go and fuck himself.

His middle is John, I learn, as I dumbly ask the question out of nowhere. His mum is called Hope. He admits that James and Sirius had told him the story of my own middle name. When he yawns, I panic and realise how fucking late it is and what the fuck will be happening to him tomorrow. I almost let slip that he should sleep because _the book_ had told me that he needed as much rest as he could get, but snap my mouth shut before such words can come out.

When his eyes start drooping and his head attempts to lean against my shorter form as I talk tipsily about my home town, I poke him in the side and tell him to go the fuck to sleep. 'Go to sleep, dumbo,' I whisper, feeling my mind hazy with sleep and drink. 'I'll go-'

He sits up and blinks blearily. 'You can stay,' he says, and I feel like my whole chest might fucking implode. As he clambers beneath the covers, still fully clothed, he pauses and realises his words. With a blush and awkward eyes, he says, 'That was weird. You don't have to-'

 _Nope._ I shrug and smile, already clambering under the covers into the narrow bed. 'Nah. I'm drunk and I don't fancy facing those Slytherin idiots yet-'

' _You're_ a Slytherin idiot,' he comments lightly, picking up his wand and lazily waving it toward the drapes with a soft murmur. I, for the millionth time, appreciate how good at magic he is. They slide shut around us and my stomach knots, legs bare beneath his covers that smell so entirely of the outside, rain and all of that other dumb romantic stuff. I pull my wand from my pocket and shove it underneath the feathered pillow as Remus settles face up against the mattress.

He pull a face when I laugh, asking me what the bloody hell I was laughing at. 'Sorry,' I mumble, attempting to straighten my face. 'This is weird. Your costume was shit tonight, by the way'.

He shrugs and yawns. 'Go the fuck to sleep, Leola'. He pauses. 'At least I'm not dressed as a bloody Vulcan. Dork'.

I laugh again and slide down the bed, grabbing the arm that lays stiffly and awkwardly at his side and using it has a pillow. He watches me as I do so, amber gaze sleep and curious. Facing him and feeling like the world was doing me a solid for once, I rest my head on his shoulder and feel his form stiffen beside me.

'Goodnight, Remus,' I yawn, pushing aside the gossip of tomorrow.

Slowly, his arm curls tighter around my form.

* * *

 **Well, that was a roller coaster. I hope you guys liked the chapter! Remus and Lola have a loooong way to go. I'm already thinking up the far future of this story, and some of the ideas I have are fetched! Not suuuure what to do. Thank you so much for the reviews! I'm hungover, but I am so happy I managed to get this done haha!**


	17. Merlin I Need To Pee

_I know who I am. I am not perfect. I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world. But I'm one of them_ \- **Mary J. Blige**

* * *

 _November 1st 1976_

 _9:55 AM_

* * *

Me waking up in the Sixth Year boys dorms is starting to become quite a habit, you know. Not to mention it's the _Gryffindor_ dorms. Good Lord, I bet Salazar is rolling in his grave. I am the worst fucking Slytherin _ever._

I keep my eyes closed, knowing full well that the arms wrapped around me and the chest my face was mushed against was most definitely Remus's. Like some cheesy romance muggle novel that my mum reads (and my dad secretly reads when she's done) he's turned in his sleep and wrapped his arms around me and tangled his socked feet with mine.

Merlin. I need to pee.

I pull my head away and look up slightly, noting that Lupin's chin seems to be resting on top of my head. _Ah, this could make things slightly more difficult._ I don't _want_ to move. I want to stay curled up beside him before he wakes up and freaks out, despite my assurance to him the night before that we were _cool._ Merlin, did I actually say all of that? How fucking embarrassing.

Remus snores lightly above me and my heart nearly bloody melts. _When did you become this shell of a witch? Since when did I find a guy snoring...cute?_

The telltale signs of a hangover are settling in now I'm awake, from the the aching in my head to the dryness of my mouth. Merlin, thank God I didn't smoke last night...fuck, _last night._ Brant was going to give me a fucking _bollocking_ for kissing Endrew like that. My cheeks burn at the thought. _Endrew...yuck! He's like my slightly forgettable cousin. Merlin, that was a shitty thing for me to do._

 _Edith's going to castrate me._

I untangle my feet from his slowly, cautious to not wake him up. How fucking surreal was it that I was lying next to a sleeping Remus Lupin? In his _bed?_ Which was much comfier than those in the dungeons, by the way. The Gryffindor pillows were most definitely _fluffier._ I get Slytherin House doesn't have the best rep, but does the school have to be so obvious about giving us the shittier end of the metaphorical stick?

With this thought in my mind, Remus presses himself closer to me and I freeze, stomach twisting at the contact. Fuck knows how I thought I could be _just friends_ with him. The feel of his sleeping form lying next to me felt a fuck ton more intimate than any of the shit I had done with the girls from home, or even _Fabian._ The lines of his tall and lanky form were pressed so tightly against mine that I could feel his body move with each small snore he gave.

...It was weirdly _nice._

Still, that didn't change the fact that I was bursting for a piss.

I shift slowly in his hold, careful to not fall off of the bed in the process. Untangling my legs full from his and retreating my head from being pressed against his chest, I blink around me and come nose to nose with a pale and deeply sleeping Remus Lupin. His hair was in an utter disarray, and the side of his face that he slept on was smooshed in a way that crinkled a few of his scars.

Curling an arm around my waist and plucking his limb from around me, I slide slowly away from him. So slow, in fact, that I don't notice the three boys sitting quietly about the room as I, quite fucking literally, _slither off of the bed._ As I wiggle through the drapes and drop lightly to my knees, I huff out a sigh and give Remus once last look (he winkles his nose and lets his arm fall to the space I'd occupied), and stagger lightly to my feet and rub my forehead, turning-

And there they all sit. All topless and in their boxers. All of them looking horribly smug, ruffled, and hungover at once.

'Merlin's _balls-'_ I snap, hand flying to my chest as I practically have a bloody _heart attack_.

Much to my distaste, Black has that horrible grin on his face that is both amused and cocky at the same time. Peter, on the other hand, looks as if he's trying to look behind me and see the state of the bed. I blush horribly at that and avoid Potter's gaze, who looks far too all-knowing for my liking. _You told him you know about Remus, you bloody idiot! What if he tells him! What if Remus freaks out!_

'... _Hello'._ Slowly, I edge away from Remus's bed with bare feet, hands tugging at the suddenly short hem of my dress. 'Lads,' I finish lamely.

Sirius stands from his rumpled bed at his full height, that large smile still plastered on his face. _How was he blessed with such a fucking physique?_ He's all lean muscle and pale skin and - ew, no, _do not_ ogle at Sirius Black. 'Have fun last night, Loopy?' he practically _sings._ 'You disappeared pretty quickly after smooching Bandini...moved on to your next victim pretty quick I see-'

'Lay off, Pads,' James yawns, stretching his arms above his head. Sirius merely snorts and reaches for his wand, waving it lazily toward Lupin's bed and muttering a charm. I could only assume it was to block out our voices whilst he slept. Although Sirius didn't know it, I was well aware he was casting the charm because Remus's transformation was that night. 'Oi, there's some Hangover Potion on the sink if you want it, Lola. And, er-' James crawls over his bed and flicks open his trunk, rifling through it and pulling out a bundle of red and grey. I looked around awkwardly, not quite sure where to look when they were all fucking _topless._ Merlin, since when was I such a blushing virgin? '-There you go!' He hurls the clothes at me and I catch then with a surprised yelp.

'You've got make-up halfway down your face,' comments Peter, kicking himself back onto his bed with an almighty grin.

'Bugger off,' I snap, wincing at how haggard my voice sounds. 'Thanks, James,' I say, starting for the bathroom. Merlin, I dreaded to think of the state of it. As I stand in the doorway, I turn my curious stare on the three Marauders. '...How long were you all _sitting_ there?'

Sirius pulls on a muggle rock band t-shirt and grins with a grey eyed wink. 'I think the real question, my dear Lola, is did you deflower our innocent Remus L-' I slam the door in his face before he can finish the question, my cheeks burning and my eyes rolling.

 _Idiot._

The bathroom is, surprisingly, not that disgusting. A few boxers here and there. Bundles of tissue paper clumped up, the contents of which I would rather die than know. The mirror is splattered with toothpaste stains and, as I dump the clothes on the floor and lean in to inspect my face, I grimace. Although my mascara isn't _halfway down my face_ as Peter so kindly stated, it isn't exactly pristine. Sighing, I pull down my knickers and dump them on the floor and go for that much needed wee. Using some toilet roll, I wipe the underneath of my eyes and stare grimly at the blackened paper.

 _Le sigh._ I hate being hungover.

Feeling about a billion times better after peeing, I change quickly into the baggy grey cotton soft bottoms and too long t-shirt Potter had given me. Happily swallowed up by the comfy clothes, I then messily cup handfuls of water and drink them greedily. _Ugh, I left my wand under Remus's pillow. There goes my teeth cleaning charm..._ Shrugging, I pick up the bubble shaped bottle on the shelf above the sink and give it a quick whiff, before downing a large mouthful.

 _Ew._

 _Oh, Merlin,_ ** _ew_.**

It tastes of broccoli, spinach and every other green, healthy thing on Earth. _Grim._ _Smells like a Nifflers arse too._ Still, the effect is instantaneous. The soreness in my throat disappears, as does the throbbing of my head and the tiredness of my limbs. I even feel _rehydrated._ Wiping away the remains of my lipstick and eyeliner, I gather up my discarded blue dress and open the door, cheeks reddening and heart thumping when I see the drapes around Lupin's bed are open. He sits on the edge of the bed, elbows braced by his knees and chin balanced on his knuckles.

Peter is telling some grand tale about how he got off with one of the fifth years last night, whilst Potter is grinning at his mate and congratulating him whilst also bragging that Lily had _kissed him on the cheek._ I stand awkwardly in the doorway as Remus looks away from his friends and, to my utter delight, he _smiles._ He doesn't grimace or wince or look at all like he regrets sharing a bed with me.

He smiles at me like I'm his friend and all I can think is _finally._

So, with that in mind, I stroll into the room and stand beside Sirius, who is listening with a broad grin to Peter's tale of how he pulled the fairly pretty fifth year. 'Oi,' he nudges me in the side and I look up at him, annoyed beyond belief that he looks so fucking good when he's hungover. Well, less hungover, I guess, considering the potion. 'Did you take the potion?'

I shift in the too long bottoms and wiggle my toes. ' _Yes._ Merlin, I feel a fuck-load better. Thanks'.

Sirius waves a hand and shrugs. 'It's cool. I was gonna ask, actually, considering Moony probably _won't_. Do you want to come with us to Hogsmeade today?' I blink up at him, eyes narrowing slowly. 'What? What the fuck is that look about? I'm being _nice!'_

'You should come, Lola,' Peter yawns, reaching for his wand and waving it lazily toward the window above the ledge. At that, it springs open lightly and a soft breeze enters the room. 'That way, if I see that fifth year, you can _scope the situation-'_

'Or you could just bloody _talk to her,'_ I deadpan. Remus snorts. My heart _soars. Get. A. Grip._

Peter sends me a blank look at that. 'Nice clothes,' he says sarcastically.

'Nice _briefs,'_ I shoot back.

He turns a steady shade of puce at this, hands flying down to cover what had _not_ been left to the imagination. Sirius laughs from beside me and smacks me none-too-lightly on the back. 'Anyway, you're _coming_. We need some quality time with Loopy Lo'.

'You should,' Remus says, voice husky from sleep and a small smile playing on his lips. 'We can-'

Suddenly, there's a tentative and light knock on the dorm door, to which Sirius starts forward to answer. Potter throws a ball of paper at Remus, to which he grabs his wand and flicks it, making it zoom back and send James's glasses askew. I snort at the exchange and start froward, watching as Lupin's eyes flick to mine as I plop beside him on his bed and reach under the pillow for my wand.

Knees touching, I smile at him and give my wand a little wiggle-

' _Lola?'_

I start and lean forward with a tirade of _fucks_ dancing through my mind. Just past Black's form stood a short, skinny boy with curly dark hair and hazel eyes. ' _Shit._ Charlie, _don't-'_

He grins then, his past nervousness at being in the sixth year dorm disappearing. He looks _overjoyed_ at the prospect of holding this over me. 'Ha. You're gonna get _caught._ Professor McGonagall's going through each dorm because of that _party'._ Little shit doesn't even try to hide the glee from his voice. 'Mum and dad are gonna be _maaaaaad-'_

'You little _shit-'_ I begin to snap, both amused and annoyed. _Being in Gryffindor is making him less of a pussy. That's something._

'Okay, little buddy, time for you to _go_ ,' Sirius snorts, waving away Charlie as I glare at him, already halfway through threatening his _Batman_ action figures. With a swift flourish, he slams the door in my brothers face. 'You know, you and brother are _very_ alike. I'm surprised he wasn't in Slytherin with that attitude. Now, what to do about _you-'_

'I can't get detention _again!'_ I whine, throwing myself back onto the bed. 'Bloody _hell'._ I peer at Remus as he smiles down at me, hair disarray and eyes a little sore looking. _It's transformation day. He must be so tired. Fuck, why does he want to go to Hogsmeade? Why does he always seems to be doing something on the day of the Full Moon? To act normal?_

Suddenly, he turns away from me and to the quickly moving boys in the dorm. They all seem to be grabbing dungbombs, bottles and little trinkets and shoving them into their trunks hastily. 'Oi, Prongs. Give her the cloak-'

'Moony!' wails Peter. 'That's a _secret!'_

I blink and sit up slowly. The _cloak?_

Potter stops in reaching for something under his bed and sighs, glasses still slightly askew and hair a wreck. 'Oh, fuck. Yeah, of course. I mean, she already knows about the Map, right? Pretty sure she can keep a secret'. He clambers to his feet and sends me a sideways look, to which I glower at. Delving back into his trunk, he pulls something shimmery and silky looking from its depths and throws it to me. 'This is a Marauders secret, Lola. Be honoured'.

I catch it uneasily, surprised at how soft it feels underneath my fingertips. Like water made solid. Wait, wasn't that just ice? 'What the fuck is this?' I breathe, studying the material and texture of the cloak. 'I doubt this is going to hide me much-'

'It's an Invisibility Cloak,' Remus explains lightly, body half turned toward me. 'Prong's and his family have had it for generations. It's _good_ '.

'Cats out of the bag now,' Sirius says lightly, kicking some box underneath his bed. 'Tell even your _buddies_ about it, and we'll prank you for a full _year,_ Loopy. Oh, speaking of your _buddies-'_ A slow grin makes its way onto his face, but an airy knock on the door makes us all freeze. Remus snatches the cloak from my hands and drapes it over me and pushes me into a standing position.

'This isn't a prank, is it?' I ask, actually worried that the idiots are trying to make a fool of me. I do _not_ take lightly to people trying to make a fool out of me.

'You're completely invisible,' Remus assures me, eyes landing somewhere on my forehead as he speaks to me. Huh, maybe it _was_ legit. Well, I would soon find out. At that moment, the door opened lightly and McGonagall stepped in, her tight bun making her appear so much more extreme than she actually was. With a curious and accusing glare, she looked about the room.

'I suppose yesterdays festivities were all of _your_ doing?' she said tightly, wand balanced in her crossed arms. 'Both a Birthday and a Halloween celebration, Mister Black. I am surprised the Tower _survived,'_ she quips, cocking a thin brow at the boy. I stay stock still, half convinced she was going to roll her eyes at me and inform me she could see me. 'And, please, get changed boys. It's nearly half past ten in the morning'. With one last look about the room, she hums and shut the door tightly behind her.

I yanked the cloak from my grasp and stared at the cloak, eyes wide and mouth agape. The boys looked on, Potter looking a little smug. With a jerky movement, I draped the cloak over Remus and started, face a mask of fucking _shock._ He was _gone._ I knew of cloaks that did this kind of thing, but to be so... _gone?_

 _'What the fuck,'_ I breathe, as Remus grins and tugs the cloak from his form. Inch by inch, he was revealed, from his tousled hair, to his ripped shirt. 'You have a fucking _Invisibility Cloak_ and you still manage to get a detention a bloody _week?_ And that _along_ with the Map. Merlin, you guys _suck._ No offence or anything, but Good Lord'.

Sirius laughs loudly. 'You're _welcome,_ princess-'

'Oh, yeah. _Thank_ you,' I said waving my hand. I look to Potter. 'Does anyone else know you have it? Dumbledore or _anyone_?'

 _'_ Nope,' Peter grinned.

'...I'm _so_ jealous,' I admit. 'That's awesome'.

'Yes it _is,'_ Potter quipped, catching the cloak as Remus chucked it over to him.

'Now, although you are so constantly _glowing_ with beauty, Lola dear,' Sirius trilled, voice further away than before as he made his way toward the bathroom. 'I really _don't_ think I can be seen with you in such a state. You _are_ going back to your dorm to change, right?'

I snort and flip him in the bird, feeling like a midget in Jame's clothes. 'Fuck you. And yes, I _am'._

'Thank Merlin'. Considering his voice was garbled my toothpaste as he brushed his teeth, I was surprised I even understood what the fuck he was saying.

'Stop being a prick, Padfoot,' Remus says lightly. I look up at him and smile, once again taking in the bags under his eyes and the paleness of his skin. _Should he even be going out? Merlin, stop worrying so bloody much. You're turning into your mother._ 'We'll meet you in the Great Hall, if you'd like'. I am momentarily stumped, still surprised at how _normal_ he was acting with me.

 _Answer, idiot._

'Er, yeah. Sounds good. That is if I don't get cursed for wearing a bloody Gryffindor Quidditch shirt'. I tug lightly at the heavy material, etched with two broomsticks and the Gryffindor lion. 'You're all trying to sabotage me, I swear to Merlin. Time for the walk of shame,' I sigh, piling my boots, dress, and plastic Spock ears into my arms.

'Not for the first time,' snorts Sirius, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he exits the bathroom.

'You're one to talk,' I shoot back, standing in the middle of the room. Sirius throws me a look that says _fair enough._ 'I'll see you in a bit. Thanks for the potion and, er, _bed'._ I grin at Remus, who's standing beside his bed with a small smirk on his tired looking face. Potter throws him a brief look from his own bed, a smile fighting at the corners of his mouth.

This is getting far too corny.

'...Bye, then'. With that, I turn on my heel and march from their dorm room with a quick click of the door.

...Am I really going on a day out with the fucking _Marauders?_

 _Merlin._

* * *

Thank Merlin, my dorm-mates are absent from our pristine looking green and silver decorated dorm. The beds are all made to perfection, and I notice that a few bottles of champagne litter the bedside tables. With a quick glance around me, I pick up the one on Bulstrode's side and read the label. _1850._ Merlin, that probably cost more than my _house._

I shed myself of Potter's clothes quickly and throw them in the wash basket along with my costume, hoping they make their way back to him. Somehow the House Elves always have a way of getting peoples belongings back to where they need to be. I smother myself in Vanity's expensive looking strawberry body wash, before brushing my teeth and combing out the mess that is my hair.

Suddenly, I'm almost _nervous._ A full day with the Marauders. I know what boys are like - they're going to judge me. Watch out to see how I am with Remus, if I'm enough to be with a bloody _Marauder._ But I can't think like that, because Remus and I are _friends. That's_ what I am working on right now... _not_ banging him. I mean, I shared a fucking bed with the guy without copping a feel.

I am _growing._

Kicking my worn looking trunk open, I delve in and grab my worn black jeans, ankle boots, grey shirt and a muggle denim jacket that I would be forever thankful for finding in a local charity shop near my home. It was all torn and funky looking and my favourite thing _ever._ With all of these on, I throw on light make up and asses my surroundings, kicking my wet towel underneath my bed and shrugging. _Eh, they'll moan about the mess even if I haven't made one._

The Common Room is quiet that morning, thank Merlin, aside from the small gathering of students on the sofa and armchairs in front of the crackling fire. Snivellus is among them, his greasy hair hanging about his face as he sits on the armchair to Yaxley's right. Rosier, the brute, is speaking quietly to the six Slytherins gathered about him. I slow down a little as I make my way to the portrait hole, ears pricked to attention.

'-Says he's _pissed_. Won't take no for an answer in this situation. Her parents are _fucked_ if they think they can defy him, not when he's so powerful-'

I speed up, heart hammering and face paling when I realise what it is they could be talking about. _No way. I mean, we all fucking know their parents support You-Know-Who...perhaps that they're even Death Eaters, but fuck me. To hear them talking about it!_ I walk just a _little_ faster than, chanting _nope_ in my head about a billion times until I trip through the portrait hole and into the cold air of the dungeons.

 _Literally fuck that._

Who the fuck could they be talking about - someone in our House? It only made me more scared - _more worried -_ for the safety of anyone who defied You-Know-Who. After what happened to Edith and Endrew's family, my dad had wrote to me saying he had put up every protection charm he could think of. He was a pureblood married to a fucking _muggle._ It didn't exactly help that I drew attention to the family by being in Slytherin, of all the bloody Houses.

By the time I reached the Great Hall, I was worrying my lip so much it _hurt._ It was pretty quiet, save for the Gryffindor table which was full of late risers. No Jone on the Slytherin table - he had most likely already gone about his Saturday with Charlie and Elliot. The Ravenclaw table was half filled, but to my confusion I couldn't spy out Brant, Edith, Endrew or Francis.

 _Huh. Weird._

'Oi, Lola!'

I jump and glare, already feeling the glares coming from the Slytherin table as Sirius Black yells my name across the hall. If anyone in Hogwarts was an enemy of Slytherin, it was Sirius Black. The traitor of the The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black didn't exactly have a good rep with the pureblood fanatics. Still, rolling my eyes I make my way over to the group of Marauders who were gathered around the end of the Gryffindor Table.

' _There_ you are - took you bloody long enough,' says Black dramatically, shoving some toast my way. 'Eat - that Hangover Potion does funny things to you on an empty stomach. _Trust me'._

I slid onto the bench beside him and Potter, giving Remus and Peter a quick smile each. 'Ew,' I deadpan. 'I don't need to know that, Sirius'. Still, I take the buttered toast and nibble at the crust. As Potter and Black begin to argue about some Quidditch bet, I eye Remus from the corner of my gaze. He's wearing a ratty looking, patchy jacket and a shirt similar to the one he wore the night before. He looks _knackered._

Sirius turns to me suddenly, drawing me away from studying the other Gryffindor students who send me wary looks. With a cup of black coffee balanced in his hand, he says, 'Oi, you know your mates-'

' _Maybe_ we should let Lola's friends talk to _her_ about _that,_ Pads,' Remus cuts in quickly, sipping idly at a cup of strong looking tea. I throw them both incredulous looks, wondering what the fuck could have happened.

'... _What?'_ I ask, slightly alarmed. 'Are they _okay_ -?'

Peter looks as lost as I do. 'Yeah, what _happened_? I don't even remember going to _bed_ last night-'

At that, Remus and I scoff. Recovering quickly, I place my toast on my plate and glower at Black. ' _Tell me'._ Sirius looks at Remus with raised eyebrows, to which the latter rolls his amber eyes and sighs. James looks down the table to Lily Evans, seemingly disinterested. 'Guys!' I whine.

'I mean...We're not _sure-'_ Remus starts.

'Come on, Moony. It was pretty bloody obvious what they were doing when they left-'

' _Who?'_ I cut in.

Sirius grins, apparently _loving_ me not knowing. ' _Well,'_ he starts dramatically. 'It seems after your not awkward _at all_ kiss with the male Bandini and you scampered off to find Moony'. I glare. Remus joins me. 'Zaveri tore himself away from James and I and found Lady Bandini playing a good old game of truth or _dare._ Now, my memory is a little hazy, but after copious amounts of the two _kissing_ during the game-'

My eyes widen. My face turns green. The air suddenly goes very cold. Ew. No. _No. 'Nooo,'_ I breathe, hand coming to cover my mouth rather dramatically. _Brant and Edith? No. Fucking. Way._

Sirius nods, looking _even more_ pleased. Remus merely stares at him with a deadpan look, whereas Peter looks quiet interested. Potter seems to be practically craning his neck to look at Lily who, with a quick glance to her earlier, looks _quite_ hungover. 'Yu _p._ Stumbled out of the portrait hole looking _very_ cosy. Male Bandini was already copping off with Marlene at this point'. I see Remus look toward me at that, but I keep my face composed. _See? I don't fancy Endrew, idiot._ 'Both in Ravenclaw, right? Mighty _easy_ to go back to one of their dorms and-'

My mouth is still gaping open. Remus, much to Peter's amusement, reaches across the table to snap it shut. I wack his hand away and glare. 'That's...I can't believe I _missed_ that'.

'Isn't she with that posh Ravenclaw bloke?'

 _Francis! Aw, I was actually starting to quite like him. I knew there was something funny about her last night._ 'Oh, bugger. Yeah, she is,' I mutter, brow furrowing. _Think about it later._ 'Oh, well. I'll interrogate them later. _Shall_ we?' We all rise from out seats, and a few of the Gryffindors look even more confused as I rise with the Marauders. _Honestly, guys, I'm pretty stumped as to why they like me too._ As we walk along the table, I latch to Remus's side as the others start ahead, Sirius plucking Peter my the arm for him to walk beside him and James.

'You look under the, er, _weather,'_ I start, shoulder to shoulder with him. Well, shoulder to arm, really. He is _tall._ Remus looks down at me curiously, brown cocked and mouth pulled into a smirk. 'Are you sure you want to go?'

'Yes, mum. Thanks for asking'.

I give him a glower and elbow him in the side. 'I am being _nice'._

'Probably why I was so surprised'. He grins sideways at me and shoves his hands into the pockets of his ratty jacket.

I blink at him as we walk and let out a cackle. 'You're a right sarcastic bastard today, aren't you?' He merely snorts and bumps his elbow back against mine, dipping his head against the slight November wind that washes across our faces as we step into the courtyard. 'We're cool, aren't we?' I ask quietly, feeling silly for even asking. I sound so bloody _needy._

 _Ugh._

Remus looks away from his friends back to glance down at me, tired eyes shadowed by waves of light brown hair. He cracks a smile after a few seconds, and reaches up to poke my lightly on the cheek. 'Who knew Lola Leola was so bloody insecure, huh?'

I blush and swat his hand away. 'Shut up. I'll have you done for bullying'.

He laughs at that. 'I'm a _Prefect-'_

'You're a bloody bully,' I cut in adamantly.

We walk on quickly, trailing behind the other three Marauders. And it's _nice. It's good._ I don't worry about Brant and Edith, my parents or even the fact that I have a massive Transfiguration essay to finish this weekend.

And it's fucking _great._

* * *

 **Yooooo! Hope you liked the chapter, I felt like an easy going happy one with some Marauder fun. Hogsmeade next chapter! I'm probably not going to be able to update much the next week, because I'm going to Disneyland Paris and Amsterdam (PUMPED AF), but I'll try! Thank you SO MUCH for the reviews, I love seeing how into the story and characters you guys are! Gives me liiiiife.**


	18. The Oddest Snake I Have Ever Encountered

_Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self. It's about accepting all of yourself_ \- **Tyra Banks**

* * *

 _November 1st 1976_

 _12:01 PM_

* * *

The Marauders are, apparently, the most chatty, badly behaved and immoral set of students in the whole of Hogwarts.

And I'm a fucking _Slytherin_.

In Zonko's, James and Peter make a point out of setting of a Dungbomb down one of the crammed aisles where a few fourth year Slytherins were loitering, much to the amusement of the owner, and the frustration of Remus. Mister Zonko, a moustached and red haired man with long legs and arms, seemed to have some off, unexplained soft spot for the Marauders and let them get away with it.

It was quite brilliant, really.

'You're both bloody idiots,' Remus snaps lightly, holding the door open for me as I walk out of the shop and follow the remaining three Marauders. 'One day you're going to get banned, then you won't look so _smug_ -'

'Oh, _Moony,'_ Sirius practically _sings._ He brushes his hair from his face and looks over his shoulder, giving Remus a an exasperated look. 'Will you pull that stick out of your arse for ten bloody seconds? I mean, I get it's the full-' He nearly falls into a nearby wandering witch (who gives him a filthy look) as Peter smacks him solidly against the back in a wondrously not subtle _at all_ way. Potter, who's next to Black, looks over my head to Remus in what I can only guess is alarm.

Oh, _fucking hell._ I _hate_ awkward situations.

Quickly, I snort loudly and ever so slightly _weirdly_ and stuff my hands into my pockets. _Diffuse the tension! Merlin, Black's a fucking idiot._ 'You guys are fucking weird. I want to go to Dominic Maestro's Music Shop, can we go?' I look over my shoulder to Remus with a small smile, hoping to fuck that my face isn't panicked or _too_ creepy. It's not often I give such smiles, after all.

It's only then, really, that I realise how horrified he would be if I ever found out what he was. His face is ashen (well, that could be because the full moon was _that night)_ and frozen into a state of absolute _terror._ It only lasts for a second, mind, and when it's gone he gives me a small smile and nods. Still, there's a slight colour that rises to his cheeks. 'Sure'.

'Good,' I nod and turn to the others, who are giving the sheepish looking Black death stares. _Merlin_ , Gryffindors really aren't very subtle, are they? 'Lead the way,' I pull my hand from my pocket and wave vaguely down the crowded street of shops. Suddenly, the air changes and James cracks a smile.

'Yes, your _majesty_ '.

'Bugger off, Potter'. We start in the direction of the magical Music Shop, and I force myself to fall back into step with Lupin once again. He blinks at me for a moment before leaving the entrance of Zonko's and joining my side, his cheeks still coloured and his hands in his pockets. He coughs. I cock a brow. 'Have you ever been to the Music Shop?' I ask. I mean, _he_ obviously wasn't going to start talking.

 _He looked bloody horrified. It's going to take a while before he trusts me to be totally cool with **it**. But he knows I don't fucking judge werewolves. Why can't he just make things easy?_

He gives me a funny look. 'Of course I have, Lola. I'm not _that_ dull'.

I snort and skip over a protruding cobblestone. 'I never said you _were_ dull. _Your_ words, not mine'. He turns and rolls his eyes at me, to which I grin and look away. The street was full of students from all different Houses, but not in any of them could I see my Ravenclaw friends. 'Are the others telling the truth - about Edith and Brant, I mean?' I knew, without a doubt, that the moment I set foot in the castle I would be marching up to Ravenclaw Tower to see my idiot friends.

Lupin's shoulders stiffen for a moment, before they settle once again. 'Most likely. Sirius can be a bit of a gossip, but I doubt he would lie to you about that. Why? Does it, er...does it bother you?'

I side step away from a group of students who barrel down the street and Remus catches my arm lightly, dragging me to the side a little. Once he lets go, I frown at him with a funny look. 'I mean, it doesn't _bother_ me. They can do what they like, really. It's just _odd._ And I feel like Edith is just...acting out because of what happened with her dad and all'. I cough and frown and feel awkward from bring up such a subject. 'Sorry. Bit dark'.

It's Remus's turn to give me a funny look. 'Merlin, Lola. Don't be stupid. You're really quite bad at talking about anything serious, aren't you?'

I scoff and his face relaxes into an easy smile. 'Fuck you,' I laugh, enjoying the banter that always seems to appear with the two of us. 'You're quite bad at having a conversation with me without insulting me, _Lupin._ Anyway, you're equally as awful at it. _I_ would know'. With that reference to his inability to talk to me at all after every time we got off, I plough on. 'Like I said, it doesn't bother me. It's not like I _fancy_ either of them'. I give him a hard sideways glance at that.

Remus, of course, stares dead ahead. 'That's...okay'.

'Okay?'

' _Okay_ '.

I roll my eyes as we follow the other three into the shop, and Black very maturely trips Peter up on his way in. The smallest of the four seems to find the whole thing amusing, even though his cheeks turn a dark shade of red. I almost feel sorry for him, but then I remember how often he has teased me at the beginning of the year when things were just _super duper_ awkward between Remus and I.

Remus looks on with a bored expression, something of which I was starting to find weirdly endearing and attractive about him.

I scoff at him as the other three tug each other into the direction of the muggle rock records, whereas I zoom over to the back of the shop where I _know_ the least favourite muggle genre of the wizarding community to be. As I pass the witch ballad section and round the darkened corner, away from the perpetually curly haired and stoned owner of the dusty shop, I clock the rickety sign hung above an array of records.

 _Muggle Disco._

Although very popular with muggles (my _mother)_ it was not so popular with wizards or witches. I mean, my dad said he had never even _heard_ muggle music before he met my mother. Now it was pretty popular among the youngest of the community - no complaints there. I hardly ever listened to magical music. Anyway, I was ridiculed quite a fucking lot by Brant when he found my record collection back home.

 _Douchebag_.

I immediately begin flipping through the records on the shelf, eyes squinted to find the titles of them in the dimly lit corner. Over the hum of music in the background, I could hear Peter laughing loudly and Sirius wailing out some very _off_ tune. Idiots. Albeit, idiots that I was beginning to like more than I ever thought I would. Sure, I had always had some kind of truce with them (it took a while, me being a Slytherin and all), but I had never actively _hung out_ with them.

I might actually end this term having more than four friends. How _exciting_.

I back up slightly, frowning at the lack of anything I had actually heard of or didn't own. Mum had a majority of the hits at home, so there was nothing I could bring home to her at Christmas. Maybe a magical vinyl, something she would like-

I suddenly back up into a solid and tall figure that smells like woods, pine-cones and rain. And that huffs out a surprised breath. ' _Merlin!'_ I gasp, laughing a little as I half turn to see Remus smirking down at me. 'You fucking creep. Were you spying on me? How _quietly_ do you walk?' I can see the severeness of his bags form here, but I can also see the darkness of his eyes and the quirk of his lips. _He's going to bloody end me. It needs to be a rule that I can't go anywhere near him when the full moon is about._

I scoff and he steadies me with a hand on my shoulder and his chest to my back. ' _Spying?_ Let's not flatter ourselves, Lola. I was only here for a second'. His voice is like smooth chocolate. Have a ever mentioned that? Ugh. Fucking probably. I am _such_ a wet blanket now. I've probably also mentioned that he has lovely coloured eyes, and that he looks particularly lovely when those rough whiskers break out along his scarred jaw. Which they have. His gaze falters a little as he looks down at me and, to my horror, I realise I am staring up at him, back to his chest and mouth open awkwardly.

 _Nice one, Lola._

 _'Stop_ looking at me like that,' he mutters, gaze frozen on mine and eyebrows pulling together. 'Lola'.

I should, really. I shouldn't be selfish. I shouldn't think of his touch as some weird, addictive thing that I want and he feels guilty for giving. But I want to kiss him. Really fucking bad. For one mad moment, I wonder he can smell that on me. The fact I want him. The book never really ruled that fact out. So, I send him a coy look that would often send Fabian to his knees and wet my lips, eyes still trained on his. 'Make me'.

It sounds so fucking cheesy, but the look on his face sends a heat spreading throughout my abdomen. Merlin, is this was those tacky erotic books my mum secretly reads talk about? Because it's fucking _great._ He falters and breathes in heavily through his nose, and I rise a little on my feet, edging toward his face.

' _Lola,'_ he says again, voice raspy and cheeks flushing a little.

I drop to the flats of my feet once again, an annoyed look flashing across my face. I smother it quickly, knowing that this is _him_ and he's _scared_ of what he is. 'Friends can kiss, Remus,' I remind him quietly, eyes darting across his face. He looks _pained._ The air between us feels hot and why is that so _attractive?_ 'And I really want to fucking kiss you'. I watch his face fall, his shoulders slump. He moves forward a little, tongue darting out to lick his lips. _He's listening._ 'Like we did in the Potions store?' I breathe, feeling stupid but horny and a little clumsy. He makes me _nervous._ 'That _was-'_

I don't get to finish, because he's suddenly pulling me gently around to face him, and I trip over his feet in the process. I giggle (fucking _giggle)_ as he moves with me. 'You're fucking ridiculous, you know that?' he asks, backing me up against the record wall with his hands gripping my biceps lightly.

I grin and stare up at him. 'I think you mean _irresistible_ '. My back hits the wall and he moves, body lined with mine and lips hovering above my own. I move up and he grins; a wolfish grin that has my stomach twisting. 'Merlin, Remus, are you going to kiss-'

The answer is yes. He swoops down, lips latching onto mine with a hot and needy pace. There's no second to waste as his hands fall from my arms to my waist, and in return I bury one hand in his hair and then toward the zip of his worn coat. His moves away from my mouth as I tug at it, head lowering and lips latching onto my neck. An action that nearly sends me crumbling to my knees, of course. I bite back a breathy moan and close my eyes at the feel of his warm mouth trailing wet kisses across my neck and jawline.

When he pulls away, I tug once again at his zip and push aside the coat, hands trailing up his baggy white shirt and tugging him down to kiss me once again. 'You're beautiful,' he tells me with heavy eyes, and with a foggy mind I tell him that he is too.

The looks he gives me has me laughing against his smiling mouth.

I trail my hand underneath his shirt, fingers splaying across his hard stomach and feeling the ripple of muscle and the tell tale sign of protruding ribs. _He gets skinny around the full moon. The book said that._ He reaches up, long fingers dotting across my waist and stomach, until they find my right breast and I almost start, surprised at his forwardness.

Not that I'm bloody complaining, of course.

His thumb brushes against me through my bra and I moan into his mouth, nipping his lip and bumping my nose with his. He squeezes and pushes himself harder against me, erection rubbing my thigh and-

'Oi, guys, quit _snogging_! We're going to Broomsticks!'

The shout of Sirius has us breaking apart, both breathing heavily and both with pink cheeks. I feel like fucking _jelly._ In the dim light, Remus closes his eyes and breathes in deeply through his nose as the bell to the shop dings and the three Marauders leave. 'It's getting harder to stop kissing you,' he jokes lightly, pulling his hand away from his chest and brushing a stray hair from my face.

The gesture makes me smile. Dropping my hands from the inside of his shirt, I nod and step back a little against the wall, ignoring his obvious hard-on as I zip up his jacket with slightly shaking fingers. 'If we weren't in the middle of a shop, I might sort that out for you,' I joke lightly, voice raspy and breathless.

I look up at him and nearly laugh at his wide eyed and red faced look. A muscle in his jaw jumps as he clenches it. 'You're going to _kill me,_ Lola Leola'.

I reach up and kiss him lightly on his scratchy cheek, grinning and feeling elated even though I _know_ this is just some dumb little make out session. 'Damn it, you found out my master plan, Remus Lupin'.

As he steps away from me, fingers lingering for a moment on my waist, I attempt to ignore that stupid, dumb and all together _pathetic_ pang of hurt that comes with moving away from him and pretending the kissing and groping never happened.

* * *

The day goes fairly quickly after that. After the three Marauders give Remus and I deadpan and amused stares, they shove a bowl of chips toward us and insist we eat. I only eat a few, deciding that Remus needed the energy far more than I. As we sit next to each other, I can't help but feel silly for that kiss on the cheek I gave him. It seemed like such a separate... _thing_ from the simple making out we had been doing before.

...Too _intimate._

For the first time, the fact that he doesn't want anything between us kind of _hurts._ And it's weird. I want...I want him to _like_ himself enough to know he can have a girlfriend, even being what he is. I remember first year Remus Lupin; the one who sat alone and jumped whenever someone fucking _spoke to him._ If the Marauders could convince him to stop being a dick and take their friendship, I could do the same...right?

Is this what being selfless is?

It's _weird_.

But I wanted him to be happy and, with that Slytherin sneakiness, perhaps I could get him to see that the idea of...of being _close_ to me wasn't _such_ a fucking awful idea. I mean, the Sorting Hat didn't bang on about Slytherin being 'cunning folk who use any means to achieve their ends' for nothing. At this current time, my _ends_ was getting Remus Lupin to trust me enough to tell me what he was. Because I... _cared..._ about him.

Ugh.

'I can't believe you like bloody _disco_ music, Lola,' snorts Sirius, slinging an arm around my shoulder and pressing his cheek against the side of my head. We're making the short walk back to Hogsmeade, and I haven't really made much conversation with Remus since leaving The Three Broomsticks. Still, the mere fact that he wasn't proclaiming that _he couldn't do this_ all dramatically was something, I guess. 'How did we ever think you were scary, huh? _Slytherin Ice Queen._ You're a bloody softy, aren't you?'

I turn slightly and eye Remus, who walks nearer to Peter on the other side of James and Sirius. Looking over Sirius's arm, I glare. 'You're a fucking traitor,' I tell the sandy haired boy.

He merely grins. I notice lightly that he suddenly seems quite excitable. Even at lunch there had been a change in the way he spoke and laughed, and the way in which Sirius had grinned knowingly at his friends joking made me think this wasn't an odd occurrence around the full moon. _Chapter two of the book said that was highs and lows in a werewolves energy on the day of the full moon. They get wired._

Merlin, I want to jump his bones.

'You like _Dancing Queen_ , so you can bugger off,' I retort to Black.

'She's not wrong there, mate,' Pettigrew cuts in, shaking his mop of blonde hair from his round face.

'I _am_ going to be the bloody _dancing queen_ in two days, so of _course_ I like that song'. There's a pause as we traipse through the chill. Even I look up at him in confusion, trying once again to shrug off his arm. Black roll his eyes. 'I'm going to be seventeen, idiots'.

' _Oh,'_ Potter says, then laughs. 'That makes more sense'.

'Keep up that dimness and you'll never get Evans, Prongs,' drawls Sirius, retracting his arm from my shoulders. I don't miss this way in which Remus's eyes flicker in my direction as he does so, and I blink back at him before turning to look ahead. The school looms closer now, lighting up against the grim back drop. Merlin, I bloody hate winter.

'She was actually looking at you quite a lot during the party last night,' I say, yawning a little as I do. Although the Hangover Potion has helped, that doesn't stop the fact I'd had a shitty sleep in a too small bed with a Marauder who snored. 'Jesus, Potter,' I start, rolling my eyes as he pushes past Sirius and sidles up beside me with a hopeful and alarmed look. 'She didn't _say_ anything to me!'

James ignores that and continues to look at me like a very excited puppy. 'But she was _looking_ at me? She gave me a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night, you know,' he says proudly, and the three boys to the left of us all sigh loudly and dramatically.

'You absolute _dog,'_ I grin. For some reason, this makes Sirius guffaw rather loudly and Remus elbow him hard in the side. I frown in confusion and turn away slowly, eyeing the dreamy look on Potter's face. The conversation moves quickly on to how if Potter hadn't wooed Lily Evans by now, he never bloody would. I almost piss myself when a loud voice booms a hello to the four boys ahead of us, and a slightly less excitable one to me.

Hagrid. The Gamekeeper. _Yeah_ , he isn't too fond of me. I might have set his bloodhound on fire in second year. Malfunctioning wand and a twelve year old Lola who didn't know her spells properly don't mix well, apparently.

As the impossibly burly and large man passes us with a large smile on his bearded face (it flickers briefly when he nods to me), Sirius says something along the lines of, 'I wonder how the hell his parents even _made him'._

'I'm guessing the _usual way,'_ I snipe, as the others nod and hum with thoroughly puzzled looks on their faces. The fuck? Are they stupid? I'm pretty confident _Sirius Black_ knows the birds and the bees.

'I mean because he's _half giant,'_ Sirius shoots back, giving me a sideways glance that says _duh._ I stay silent for a moment, digesting the information that should have been bloody _obvious._ He was _huge -_ larger than any human being could ever get. The news settles within me, and I think of what that entails. _Half-breed._ That's what people in my House would call him, and perhaps a few from other Houses. The words sound gross, even to my ears. _Cruel_. Hagrid has always been a kind and prominant figure at Hogwarts, even to someone who hardly noticed such things, like me.

He was a _Half-Giant._ That was fucking _mental._

I don't realise that my silence had spread beyond the normal amount of time until Sirius elbows me in the side and gives me an analysing look. 'Why are _you_ suddenly so bloody quiet?' There's a dipping harshness to his voice, and I realise with a fucking _horror_ that they might think I'm _judging_ Hagrid. _I suppose the preconceived notions of me being a Slytherin haven't gone yet. Morons._

I glance to the others and see Remus, with his head bowed and hands pushed almost painfully into his jack pockets, and realise my stupid bloody mistake. _Potter's looking at me like I'm a bloody idiots. Brilliant._

'Oh, fuck, _no_!' I say, probably a little _too_ fucking loudly. Sirius blanches back a little and blinks in surprise at my outburst. 'No, I'm not like... _disapproving._ Shit, that probably looked really bad. My bad. I was just _surprised._ More so that I hadn't figured it out in the _first_ place. He's fucking massive. Does _everyone_ know?' I had never heard a word of there being a Half-Giant at the school, and that seemed like something that would appear in the _Prophet._

Potter shrugs whilst Remus looks up, a brightness to his eyes as he eyes the conversation. _He thought I would judge him_. _Idiots. Why do these boys doubt the act that I'm nice? I've been working my arse off to be just that_. 'Dunno. Some people have worked it out, I guess. Feel like your lot would be more vocal if they knew'.

I smile grimly, thinking of the conversation I had overheard earlier. 'Yeah. Probably'.

'So, you're cool with it?' Black presses, leaning over and knocking his shoulder with mine. There seems to be a silence as all the boys listen, and I suddenly feel like this is some kind of fucking _test._

I blink and pull a face. 'Well, that's dumb. _Duh._ 'Course I am. You obviously think I'm some raving pureblood fanatic if you think I would bloody _care_ -'

And then Sirius grins down at me like I had done _exactly_ what he wanted me to do. The quiet is pressing around the group, and I feel Remus's head turn my way again and Potter fall into step with him with a grin, as Sirius says, 'Coming from someone who was born into a _long_ line of Slytherins, you are without a doubt the oddest snake I have ever encountered, Lola Leola'.

I grin and flip my curly hair over my shoulder. 'Thank you'.

* * *

 **I managed to fit in one more update before Amsterdam! I have a fun idea for next chapter, involving a meeting with Slughorn about Lola's future, and the Edith and Brant saga continues. Thank you so much for the reviews, can't believe we're almost on 150!**


	19. Commodore Longlength

_When you become the image of your own imagination, it's the most powerful thing you could ever do_ \- **RuPaul**

* * *

 _November 1st 1976_

 _3:00 PM_

* * *

I leave the boys at the entrance to the Great Hall, but not before Peter gives me a friendly pat on the back (something of which surprises me - the quieter of the four had never really taken to me), and Potter sends me a firm look that assures me we _will_ be talking later.

Right. Duh. We had a _lot_ to talk about after last night.

Of course, I barely make it to Ravenclaw Tower before a hearty, deep voice is calling my last name out to me with the vigour only Professor Slughorn could have. _Le sigh._ 'Miss Leola - _just_ the girl I was hoping to find! Of course, I didn't think I would see you until Monday, but now is as good a time as ever!' I turn in the quiet hallway and blink at the Potions Master, who's decked out in heavy, dark robes and a freshly waxed moustache.

His grin is wide and annoying. Merlin, what does he _want?_

'Sir?' I ask, trying to not look like I'm edging away from him. It's Saturday, can't he _bugger off_? I need to go and find out if my best friends have been screwing! Plus, there was a certain awkward conversation I needed to have with Endrew about our odd, slightly incestuous kiss. _And I was actually enjoying today. I got a good make out with Remus in and some sugar quills._

Finally, he reaches me and huffs out a few breaths with an eager smile. ' _Hello_ , Miss Leola. Been down to Hogsmeade, I see?' He nods toward the small bag in my grasp, which holds a bundle of sugar quills for my friends and Charlie. I look back at him with a tight smile and nod. 'Now, the Headmaster has been on my back about the meeting we had last year, before you took your O.W.L exams - I'm sure you'll remember?'

Fuck. Yeah, I did. The meeting was a one on one with my Head of House, in which we discussed my future career prospects and interests. It was no secret that Slughorn had been disappointed in my lack of knowing what the _hell_ I wanted to go with my life, especially when he insisted my talent at Astronomy could take me far. Bitterly, I had wondered if he merely wanted another trophy to add to his collection of successful, graduated students. Still, most of the girls in my House were going to be married off the moment they left Hogwarts, so it was pretty nice old Dumbles saw me as wanting something other than a brood and a Ministry working husband by the time I was twenty.

'Oh, yeah. _Sir_ ,' I add quickly, cringing.

'Good! Good! How would you like to come to my office for a moment for some tea so we can talk?' The smile he gives me and the way in which he crowds my space indicates pretty fucking solidly that I have no choice in the matter: I _will_ be going to his office. So, with a small sigh and yet another tight smile, I swish my hand for him to lead with a, 'Of course, Professor'.

Slughorn's office is dank and dark, like a majority of the Potions classroom and the dungeons. The lights are lit low, but the pictures of past students that line the walls are the only personal effects in the dimly lit room. I shuffle in awkwardly, appreciating that Slughorn waves his wand toward the open fireplace, causing flames to burst quickly from the firewood.

'Now,' Slughorn starts, settling into the chair on the opposing side of his large desk and waving for me to sit. I do, somewhat reluctantly. _I could be in Ravenclaw Tower, curled up on Brant's bed having a good old gossip right now. Ugh._ 'I don't suppose you have given anymore thought to your future endeavours, Miss Leola? I understand you received an 'O' in your O.W.L Astronomy?'

I light up just a _little_ at this, never one to turn down praise at an achievement such as that. It's not bloody often I do exceedingly well at things, and being a Slytherin we are _expected_ to do well at things. It's, like, our _thing._ Ambition and all that. Another way in which I am a shitty Slytherin, who avoids all conversations of life beyond Hogwarts. 'Yes, sir,' I reply, smiling lightly and dropping my bag to the ground as I shift in my seat. 'I'm pretty interested in following a career in Astronomy. Thing is...there's so little available'.

Slughorn leans forward slightly and clasps his meaty hands before him. 'Do not be so sure, Miss Leola. The Ministry has many Departments in which they study the world beyond our own. Space is, of course, one of the limits of magic, just as time is. Of course, it is smart to be cautious, though I expect nothing less from someone of my own House'. He winks and a grimace. 'I much preferred the simple art of potion making as a lad, but with some experience within the Ministry over the summer, you may be able to apply your knowledge more to what it is your want to do'.

I peer at him, thinking my next words over. 'My dad works in the Ministry,' I start slowly. Slughorn cocks a brow and nods. 'He says that there's a room...in the Department of Mysteries. He's never been in, mind. It's word of mouth from the Unspeakable's from over the years, but he says it deals with...space. Stars. Planets. _That_ kind of thing. That's all he knows, really, but-'

Slughorn is, quite suddenly, _very fucking animated._ 'Oh, Miss Leola! You wish to delve into the most _mysterious_ Department within the Ministry of Magic? I am quite impressed with your ambition! Of course, it is hard work to get noticed by such a division within the Ministry. I _assure_ you'. There's a trace of bitterness in his voice, and I have to swallow my smile to stop from laughing. 'If the Ministry is your aim, then you _must_ begin getting your name known now. I have many connections within the Ministry, perhaps over summer I could obtain you a placement. The Minister, Harold Minchum, is a friend of mine. Though, he is often caught up in meetings lately, with the way things are...' He trails off, lost in thought.

I blink and attempt to hide my horror at my life being planned out in front of me in just one moment. ' _Christ_. Okay. Er, so that sounds... _good_ to you?'

Slughorn shakes himself from his thoughts and smiles brightly once again. 'Oh, yes, my dear. You are quite different from many of your Housemates, and your free thinking _shines_ through. I have always been quite watchful of my students, and it isn't hard to spot the brighter of the bulbs. You, Miss Leola, are a _bright bulb-'_

I fight the pleased smile that's fighting its way across my face, and instead clear my throat. 'But it _is_ a realistic goal, right?'

Slughorn tilts his head and pulls a thoughtful face. 'It is peculiar, of course. But I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Miss Leola. The role of an Unspeakable within the Ministry is confidential. The only thing I can advise you on is _working hard._ Continue to thrive in the field of Astronomy and prove your worth to those who matter. Find a place, any place, within the Ministry and rise to where you need to be'.

I blink and let an easy smile slide onto my face. 'Have you ever considered switching to being a motivational speaker, Professor? That was _very_ good'.

Slughorn's shoulders physically _slump_ as he shakes his head at me and appears to hold back from rolling his eyes. With a sigh, he says, 'I suppose that is all then, Miss Leola. Have a good weekend-'

'I'm serious, sir. I am _pumped-'_

' _Goodbye_ , Miss Leola'.

* * *

I don't say anything to Brant about my meeting with Slughorn when I finally break into Ravenclaw Tower (a first year had been loitering near the exit to let me in) and make my way up to the boys dorm, ignoring the looks from a group of fifth years. A particularly dreamy looking, white haired boy glances at something over my head, eyes darting about, and smiles secretly to himself.

...Weirdo.

Brant is sitting on his bed, surrounded by papers, when I finally make my way up the twirling staircase. The window is wide open, looking over a majority of the grounds of Hogwarts. With a quick glance toward Endrew's unmade bed, I purse my lips and slam the door behind me. 'Where is everyone?'

Brant looks at me, guarded and tired looking. He's wearing a loose shirt and a pair of flared jeans and appears to be doing _homework. On a Saturday._ 'With Edith. I think they went for a walk around the Black Lake to...talk about things'. He shoots me another look as I wander over to his bed and brush away what appears to be Herbology notes. 'You know'. It isn't a question.

I cross my legs neatly and face him, a blank look on my face. After a pause, I nod. 'Yeah. Black and Potter told me at breakfast. So...you _slept_ with her?' Could this conversation get any more surreal? Brant and Edith...naked...in _bed_...

Ew.

Brant pulls a face and suddenly groans, abandoning his notes and burying his face into his hands. I blanch a little. ' _No_! We left the Tower together and came back here... _kissing._ It was fucking weird, Lo. I don't know what the hell happened'. I stare at him, horrified at how... _pained_ he looks. Merlin, perhaps it was more than a quick, drunk shag. 'She was saying stuff, after you went up to the dorms. About how Francis didn't understand her and how much he seemed to annoy her lately, and so I fucking _kissed_ her because I'm just _great_ like that. Then we came back here...and she was...' He looks a funny shade of green.

I stare at him, leaning forward. 'Oh my God - _what?'_

He shakes his head and covers his eyes. 'Oh, Merlin. I was _going down on her_ and fucking - and Francis and Endrew _walk in-'_

I shake my head and cover my mouth, laughing in something akin to horror and shock. 'No, no. You're fucking with me. Brant... _Brant-'_ He groans yet again, dark skin flush with an odd shade of grey and green. 'What the _fuck_ were you thinking? What happened then?'

He throws his arms in the air and glares at me. 'What do you _think_? Francis stormed out and I haven't seen him since. Pretty sure he slept in the seventh year dorms with some of his mates there. Endrew went mental and started throwing spells about. Set fire to my curtains, hence why the window is open to quell that lovely smell of burning. Our other dorm-mates are pissed'.

'... _Dude'._

Brant huffs out a sigh. 'It's the last thing either of them needed, after their _dad_. I was so fucking _stupid_ and _drunk._ Edith managed to calm him down enough to go to bed, but I couldn't sleep. Edith and I ended up going to the Common Room and talking about shit. Said it was stupid and we shouldn't have done it. The moment that Endrew woke up she dragged him off to have a talk and I haven't seen them since. Nor Francis'.

'...Dude'.

He glares yet again and lobs a blue and white pillow at me. I dodge it with a yelp. 'What about you! You kissed _Endrew_ then went bounding after a pissed off Lupin, you harlot-'

' _You're_ one to fucking talk, mate,' I cut in, lobbing the pillow right back. Brant catches it and buried his face into the fabric. 'I told him it was dumb, _actually._ We sorted things out and _slept_ for the night. Then I went to Hogsmeade with the Marauders this morning because my _friends_ abandoned me for their _dark doings-'_

Brant peers up at me, pained expression fading. 'Wait, did you finally bang Lupin?'

I purse my lips. 'We _slept,_ you slut'.

'Oh. How boring'.

'I saw Black topless, though'. _That_ perks him up. 'It was pretty good, I won't lie. He is _built,_ and if those boxers said anything...' I hold up my hands and spread them wide. 'He ain't too bad _at all-'_

Brant snorts out a laugh and I grin. 'Don't tempt me. I'm swearing off of sex until we graduate. It's too much hassle. Are you going to talk to Endrew?'

I yawn and nod. 'Yeah. I'm not too worried, though. It was just a kiss, and he looked as horrified as I felt about the whole thing. It's _you_ we've got to be worrying about. Endrew will forgive you, but _you're_ the one who now has to share a dorm with the guy who's girl you _went down on._ Merlin, this is like one of mum's saucy novels. Can you change your name to Commodore Longlength, please?'

'You're not fucking funny,' he bites back, fighting down a smile. 'Oi, do you want to go Astronomy Tower for a cigarette? I'm gagging for one, and I don't think I can do anymore Herbology revision when I'm this hungover'. He reaches down and grabs at his jacket that lays on the floor, scooping out a packet of crinkled muggle cigarettes. 'I've only got five left, so feel blessed-'

At that moment, the door creaks open and the relaxed look on Brant's face melts once again in to the one of horror I had found him with. I freeze, eyes widening as I look over my shoulder to see who had made Brant freeze like that.

Shocker, it's Francis.

He stands in the doorway, mop of hair ruffled and eyes bloodshot and tired looking. I bite my tongue as I look away from his rumpled shirt and shorts, to Brant's perpetually horrified expression. _Bugger, this is awkward._ With ease, I uncross my legs and lean across the bed, snatching the pack of cigarettes from Brant's loose fingers and hopping to my feet. 'Well, something tells me I should leave you boys to it. _This_ has been wonderfully awkward. Please refrain from punching each other, though he _totally_ deserves it,' I add, patting Francis lightly on the shoulder as I slip past his stoic form. 'Lovely to see you, Francis. Bye, guys'.

As I practically _run_ down the stairs and out of the Ravenclaw Common Room, I only briefly mourn the fact that I left all of my sugar quills on Brant's bed. I snicker quietly as I round the corner off from the Ravenclaw Tower, knowing full well that Brant would get me back for that later. _He deserved it._ And he did. It was no secret that he was a fucking idiot when drunk, but Edith...

The death of her father had fucked her up more than any of us guessed, I guess.

I walk idly toward the Astronomy Tower, thankful that teachers are pretty scarce around the corridors of the school on Saturday's, especially late into the afternoon. As I clamber the familiar stairs and eye the owls swooping past the open windows, I remind myself once again to write to my parents. After the trouble with Edith and Endrew's father, I had worried more for their safety. Dad was, in fact, a pretty well known _blood traitor._

With a Slytherin daughter.

How lovely.

The air is crisper than it had been earlier when I was gallivanting around with the Marauders, a memory that still made me feel all... _nice_ inside. They were such a close knit, judgemental group of boys that it was...well, it was kind of like a compliment to get accepted so wholly by them. I mean, I wasn't stupid. It was easy to see that they wanted to pair Remus and I off, an idea that still scared the shit out of me. _Especially_ after today. The kiss had been _amazing,_ but it felt...it felt like I cared.

About him.

I light my cigarette quickly and duck over to a shadowed part of the Tower, away from the familiar planet models that hang above me. The sun was already sinking low over the grounds of the school, casting the Forbidden Forest into a darker light. Smoke trailed neatly up into the sky from Hagrid's Hut and, if I squinted hard enough, I thought I could see two figures rounding the lake that could easily be Edith and Endrew.

Taking a deep drag from my cigarette, I glance over my shoulder at the darkened part of the Tower where a majority of my lessons took place. Still, I wasn't _exactly_ expecting to see a straight faced, dark eyed Remus Lupin hovering a mere three feet from me, hair ruffled and a crumpled piece of parchment in his danging hand. _The Map._

' _Fuck,_ Remus!' I jump violently, hand flying to my chest. So violently, in fact, that my cigarettes flops from my fingers and down to the grounds below. 'What the _fuck,_ dude?' I yelp, feeling stupid for having such a reaction. _He almost gave me a fucking heart attack!_ I look back at him with narrowed eyes, noting with interest that he seems paler, his eyes circled with even darker circles...

He struggles with his words for a moment, cheeks dusting a light pink. 'I just, er...I wanted to see you, I guess'. He shrugs with one shoulder and takes one more step forward. _Hours until the full moon,_ I remind myself. _Werewolves go mad with their emotions. They're manic in the hours before the full moon, like a super weird adrenaline rush. That's what the book said, anyway. Fuck, shouldn't he be resting?_

I blink at him, feeling bashful all of a sudden. Moving past that, I plaster a teasing look on my face. ' _Did_ you now?'

He rolls his eyes at my flirtatious tone, fingers clenching at his sides as he shoves the Map into his jacket pocket. 'You didn't exactly make it easy for me to tear myself away from you earlier, you know'.

I am stumped for a brief moment, too surprised that he would voice such words without drink to fuel him. I grin. 'It's a talent. Do the, er, others know where you are? I mean, shouldn't you be resting? You look tired, Remus-' My words are, apparently, playing to his deaf ears. I watch him as I talk, noting the way his dark eyes seem to be zeroing in to every part of my body with interest.

Then, with a flick of his dark eyes up to mine, he takes one long stride forward, curls a hand around my neck and plants his mouth onto mine.

It knocks the fucking _air from my lungs._

He kisses desperately, wasting no time in pressing his body against mine the moment I kiss back. I breath in deeply the moment he gives me air, blink at his flushed face, and then drag his lips back to mine. He tastes of toothpaste, and I must taste of bitter cigarettes. How lovely. He grumbles out a low groan when I shift, kicking my leg out to rest between his longer limbs to get as close to him as I can.

 _I can make him feel good before tonight. I can make him feel good for just a little._

So, I push myself closer. With quick hands, I push past his undone jacket and spider my hand up the inside of his shirt. He shudders against me, and ducks his head and kisses at the space below me ear. I tighten my hold against his waist when he does this, feeling like a fucking idiot when a breathy, pathetic moan pours from my mouth as I lean my head back. ' _Remus'._

He pulls away from me, pupils blown as he looks down on me with a look I had never seen on him. It was an odd mix between completely fucking horny, and cautious. I nudge against him, fingers tickling his sides as I try and tug him closer. 'You okay?' I ask him, gaze flickering from his moist lips to his pale skin. _Hours until he turns. Does it hurt? Does he hate doing it alone?_

He actually _smiles_ at that. 'I am more than okay, Lo'. With that, he swoops once again to kiss my and, fuck, Remus Lupin is a _good kisser._ Still feeling all gooey and gross at him calling me Lo, I hardly even notice that his leg has moved further against me, thigh resting between my legs and chest pushed hard against mine. Heat _pools_ throughout me when he moves, hands falling from my beck and hair to gather underneath the curve of my butt.

 _Oh, fuck it._ Disregarding the fact that we could easily be caught, I press myself closer to him and drop the hand that had been pressed against his naked torso to his belt and tug his lower half closer to mine. He makes a rough noise in the back of his throat and I grin, pulling away to blink up at him. Ruffled hair, dark eyes and swollen lips. I could get used to this view of Remus Lupin.

 _He came looking for me. He wants this. I want this. I am going to explode if I don't feel him._

So, I undo the loop of his belt with easy fingers, eagerly biting my lip and leaning up to peck him on the lips. He doesn't stop me, not even as I yank down his zip and dip my hand below his belt, feeling the heat and then _him._ He sags against me, lips burying into my neck and hair as he groans as my fingers wrap around the length of him. ' _Merlin_ , Lola,' he breathes.

I smile and stand on my tip toes, hand moving lightly against him and press my lips against his neck, biting and nipping where I see fit. My heart _hammers_ in my chest as he breathes loudly next to me ear, and the fact that I am giving Remus Lupin a _fucking hand-job_ still doesn't seem to have sunk in yet. Not even when he swears into my ear, grip on my rear tightening as I move my hand fast and tighten my grip ever so slightly.

He feels warm in my grasp, and I move lightly against him, wishing more than anything that we were locked away in some room with a bed and plenty of time. Twisting my wrist neatly, I grin secretly as he moans and mutters, once again, a very colourful swear word.

I kiss him all the more, even going as far to lick the underside of his jaw and mutter a low, 'I _really_ want you to cum for me, Remus'.

He does, and it's wonderful. His grip on me loosens and he buries his face further into my hair, groaning loudly as his warmth seeps onto my closed fist. The moment he breathes my name into my ear, my stomach drops and my heart soars, I know that I am utterly fucked and completely besotted with Remus Lupin.

I let him go and, lazily and with his head still resting on my shoulder, he reaches down to tuck himself away, leaving his zipper open and his belt undone. 'I really bloody needed that,' he laughs huskily into my frizzy hair, pulling away to blink sleepily down at my surely flushed face. His pupils have shrunk down to pin pricks at this point, and the amber is alight. 'You're amazing'.

 _I'm a bloody doormat, is what I am._ I was pretty sure I would turn myself into a fucking teapot if it was what this stupid, idiotic, stubborn teenage werewolf wanted.

'I know,' I tell him lightly, smiling lightly as he pulls his wand from his back pocket and mutters a quick cleaning spell at my hand and his shirt. As he tucks it away, he peers down at me, faces inches from mine, and plants a very light kiss against my hairline.

'You are,' he tells me again, softer this time and with a hint of apology there. _Sorry for the fact that he knows there can't be anything but heavy petting between us. Idiot. I know. I know what you are and I don't fucking care._ 'I shouldn't have attacked you like that-'

'Shut up'.

Remus laughs. He looks _exhausted_. He leans his forehead against mine, moist with sweat, and murmurs with a half smile, 'You really _are_ amazing, albeit a little aggressive'.

I smile. _You're sorry because you're being a fucking idiot and protecting me from something that I could not give two shits about. Don't you worry, Remus Lupin, I'll prove you wrong in the end._

 _I always do._

* * *

 **YOOOO. I am loving the dynamic between those two, and the way in which their relationship is developing. A long way to go yet, folks. I have plans for this story that go on for a long time, and are perhaps a little wacky, but oh well. Thank you so much for the reviews! Amsterdam was awesome, by the way. Would recommend to a friend.**


	20. The Emma Vanity Pity Party

_You could certainly say that I've never underestimated myself, there's nothing wrong with being ambitious_ \- **Angela Merkel**

* * *

 _December 4th 1976_

 _7:00 PM_

* * *

There's always that thing with life, when one part of it is going fucking great and then the other part... _not_ so much.

For example, I feel pretty good about Remus at the moment. We're _friends._ After our little hot and heavy session on the Astronomy Tower, we had lingered for a few minutes to sort ourselves out and I watched, with interest, as the bags underneath his eyes grew heavier with each passing moment. Despite his protests, I had walked him back to Gryffindor Tower, noting how he seemed to press his shoulder against mine as if he needed something to lean on. Before he clambered through the portrait hole, he had looked at me with that Remus-like awkwardness and expressed how stupid he felt for not even attempting to, er, _get me off._

I had merely winked and told him _next time._

I've made small attempts to _not_ act like I want to pounce on him at any given moment, though. Make it seem like I actually _want_ to be his friend and not just his fuck-buddy, you know? Still, the last full moon went a few days ago, and it's hard to _not_ pounce on him when he's looking at me like he wants to fucking _eat me._ Instead, I ask him if he's okay and talk to him about _anything_ other than how much I want to repeat our Astronomy Tower endeavours.

So, that's going well. I am, slowly, becoming a part of his everyday routine, and him mine. I talk to him in class, I see him in the evenings in the library (when I actually decide to show my face there), and over the past few Hogsmeade weekends I've actually ditched Brant, Edith and Endrew for an hour to bug the Marauders. The Marauders seem to like me a hell of a lot more, too. And, shockingly, I'm actually starting to _enjoy_ working hard in class now that I have a half solid idea of what I want to do in the future.

I am fucking _owning shit._

Then, there is the shit show of Edith, Endrew, Brant and Francis. It took only five seconds for me to wander over the Ravenclaw table at dinner and slide between the twins and sort things out with Endrew. We agreed it was a dumb, stupid kiss and moved swiftly on. But Edith...she looked _awful._ Blonde hair tangled and dark circles under eyes, she said she had broken things off with Francis and maintained an awkward conversation with Brant about forgetting that night had never happened.

Francis, though, was _not_ happy. The posh boy who I had grown to kind of like was quiet and angry, choosing to migrate toward his own Ravenclaw friends and away from us. The rumours of what had happened broke throughout the school on the Sunday following the party, and soon enough Brant and Edith were gathering a few amused stares in the hallways.

Brant was _not fucking happy._ Like me, he didn't enjoy being ridiculed or laughed at. Nor did he enjoy the apparent awkward and steely atmosphere that remained in the Ravenclaw boys forms. Although Endrew had agreed to be polite to him in the mean time (as long as he didn't, and I quote, _touch his fucking sister ever again)_ until he forgave him entirely.

It was just _awkward._

'Miss Leola, it doesn't look like you're studying the Orion constellation, but instead your nails'. I look up with a guilty smile from where I am sat, cross legged, just feet away from where I had, a couple of days ago, had my hand stuck down Remus's pants. Sinistra smiles lightly at me (ha, I _love_ being her favourite) and wanders over, her glittering robes dancing in the dim moonlight.

'Sorry, Professor,' I reply guiltily, sliding my star chart back over to me. Around us at the top of the Tower, the small class is spread about with their eyes cast to the starry sky. The moon was just a sliver now, a Waning Gibbous moon that illuminated most of the sky and made it hard to see the stars clearly. As dorky as it sounds, I fucking love my Astronomy classes. I turn into someone Brant would either cackle at, or roll his eyes at and say _finally._ He gets _way_ to excited when I show an interest in school.

 _Ravenclaws_ , am I right?

'Have you started your essay on the rotation of the gas-giant planets of our solar system?' inquires Sinistra, her dark skin glowing lightly in the dim moonlight. Looking for any excuse to _not_ focus on my current task, I look up at her as she curls her hands around the railing of the Tower and cocks a dark brow down at me. 'I'm quite intrigued to read it, after the last scroll you submitted to me, Miss Leola. I _believe_ the sentence I most enjoyed was where you compared the findings of both muggle and magic Astronomers. Not many have thought to do such a thing yet in their essays'.

I preen a little under her sharp blue eyed gaze, fighting down the smug smile. This whole 'being nice and not a bitchy Slytherin' thing was starting to get harder. 'Oh, yeah. I thought you'd like that - you mentioned something about it last year. Thanks, Professor'. I smile up at her, never one for turning down praise from teachers. 'And yeah, I have. I've only done about five inches, so far-'

'Better than nothing, Miss Leola. I look forward to reading your thoughts on the matter'. I've always _loved_ how Sinistra talks. She has this slow, precise way of speaking that's so...I don't know - _mystical._ 'Now, it seems Miss Boot is having trouble _locating_ her constellation. Carry on'. With that, she swishes away with a small nod down at me, her flowy robes swaying after her as she walks away.

She's so... _cool._

Class ends soon after that, and I quickly gather up my belongings and run from the annoyingly late class straight toward the dungeons. If I wanted to keep at this good grade streak, I'd have to actually _do_ the work. That meant locking myself away for the night and working at my bloody Astronomy essay. It wasn't the much of a loss, really. With how fucking cold and dark the country seemed to have gotten since entering December, no one really wanted to do much else but crawl into bed.

Which was _fine_ with me.

Halfway down the steps steps toward the Slytherin Common Room, though, I hear the tell-tale signs of someone quietly crying. Sobs, sniffles and weeping. I stall in the dark and quiet of the dungeons, peering past a corner where a lit torch sits and narrowing my eyes to the end of the hallway, in which I see the small hunched form of a girl with bight blonde hair.

...Shit.

Do I go and see if they're okay?

 _Edith would. Even Brant fucking would. Mum and dad would think I'm a dick for not seeing if she's okay._

 _...Remus would._

With that thought in mind, I mutter a, 'Fucking hell', and start toward the sniffling mess on the floor, grimacing lightly as I approach the girl who wears matching Slytherin robes to me. _Joy, now whoever it is is going to hex me into next week for even trying to talk to them._ I stop before them, growing even more awkward when I note they haven't heard me arrive.

'Um-' I start, jumping in horror when the person jolts and looks up at me, bright blue eyes red rimmed and wet and narrowed into a very angry and hateful glare. _Oh, Merlin. Why did it have to be -_ 'Vanity,' I deadpan, the awkward look on my face falling into a soft glower. 'I was _going_ to ask if you were okay-'

Vanity, with her pointed face that was still _annoyingly_ pretty despite how much she had been crying, glares at me even harder and wipes her nose with the sleeve of her robes. I cock a brow in surprise at this. Emma Vanity _did not_ do such common things as wipe her nose in _public._ 'Piss off, Leola. I don't need your shit right now'.

I sigh loudly and frown at her, the usual anger spiking. 'I asked if you were _okay'._ I am reminded of the last time I saw her crying, what seemed like ages ago in our dorm-room. She had been unusually quiet this year, slinking to the background of our peers jeers toward me and other Houses in the school. I hadn't even thought to _notice_ that about her.

Vanity continues to glare up at me, her knees drawn tightly to her chest. 'You said you were _going_ to ask if I was okay. That is not _asking_ me, Leola'.

 _Well, she has a point._ I cough and nod. 'Okay, that's fair-'

'And to answer your question, I am _fine'._ I actually have to hold back from _laughing_ at that. Was she fucking serious? She looked a fucking wreck. An annoyingly perfect and pretty wreck, but a wreck all the same. She catches on quickly to my bemused look, though. 'Don't _laugh_ at me. I bet you're enjoying this, aren't you? You are such a cruel, annoying-'

I throw my hands in the air and laugh. 'I'm not doing anything other than seeing if you're okay!'

Her mouth snaps shut with an audible click and, after a moment of staring up at me, the tears fill her eyes once again. My face falls at the sight, and I look uneasily over my shoulder, hoping that some of her friends would round the corner. Or _not._ They would likely curse me and think I was the one who upset Vanity. 'I got kicked off of the Quidditch team. I'm not Captain anymore'. I turn quickly back to her, my neck actually _cracking_ in the process.

'Fuck _off,'_ I say, eyebrows raising. 'Why?'

She sniffs and eyes me. 'Why in Merlin's name do you _care_ , Leola?' I shrug and she sneers. 'According to Slughorn, I have not been _attentive_ enough. Fucking _ridiculous._ I would like to see _him_ go through what I have and be bloody _attentive-'_ She cuts herself off and pales considerably. 'Repeat that to _no one,_ Leola. I'll be sure to make your life a bloody misery if you do'.

I scoff. 'Do you not already?' Glare. Okay. Never mind. 'Hey, it sucks you were kicked off. With your snooty, holier than thou attitude, the fact you were a bad-ass female Quidditch Captain was the one thing I liked about you-'

' _Do not_ pity me-'

I roll my eyes. 'Holy fuck. _I'm not._ Why aren't you crying to the other snakes, anyway?'

Finally, the tears seemed to have stopped. With uneasy legs, she clambers to her feet and brushes off her robes with prettily painted nails. ' _You_ are a snake, too, idiot. A poor one and a stain to our House, but a Slytherin all the same'. Eye level with me, she narrows her gaze. 'You are joking, though, aren't you? For the past three weeks I have been _shunned_ by our Housemates-'

I blink. She rolls her eyes. ' _Why?'_

 _Am I speaking to Emma Vanity? Am I actually fucking pitying Emma fucking Vanity?_

She stalls then, blonde hair knotted about her face and eyes red from crying. She actually looks... _surprised._ _And, yet again, you illustrate how little attention you pay to those around you. Nice one, Lola, you selfish dick._ 'Are you joking?' she says, and her voice has lost that cutting edge. 'Are seriously this dense and self-centred, Leola?' Before I can bite back a quick retort, she carries on. 'It was in the bloody _Prophet._ My father has _publicly_ renounced the rumours that my family shows any kind of support for You-Know-Who. Oppose to popular opinion, my family does not dabble in the Dark Arts, as most of our House does. I know you are not so stupid to not know that _Death Eaters_ live among us-'

'You called him You-Know-Who,' I cut in, taking in those boat load of information. It was no secret that Vanity's father was high up in the Ministry, having been appointed the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic two years ago. Her mother, on the other hand, was a typical Pureblood wife and mother.

Vanity glares once again. 'I will not call him by his _name_ '.

I shake my head. 'No, idiot. I meant...you didn't call him the _Dark Lord_ -' The words feel dirty and wrong on my tongue. It was, of course, was most of our House would quietly refer to You-Know-Who as.

She rolls her blue eyes, and then snaps her gaze back to me. 'I may _know_ I am better than you because of my blood superiority, but that _does not_ mean my family and I wish to eradicate all muggles and muggleborns for that simple reason. I have never voiced this, only played off an air of indifference that couldn't be called out. But since my father said what he said...' She breathes in deeply and straights her back. 'I am liked _very little_ within our House now. Like you'.

I stare at her, understanding her so much more now. Still... 'You're like him, then,' I say, face blank. 'If you think you are better than me because of your _pure_ blood, then you're like him. You're like _them'._ I jut my head in the direction of the portrait hole. 'I know it's in our nature to duck away from speaking out against what's wrong, but it feels fucking good to do so, Vanity. Muggleborns, Halfbloods and even fucking _werewolves'._ She sends me a horrified look. 'None of that's going to matter when the war gets worse, and it _will'._

'You have no idea what danger my _family_ is in-'

I shrug and nod. 'I know and I'm _sorry,_ dude. My _best friends_ dad was killed by You-Know-Who's followers a few months ago. My mother is a _muggle_. _We're all in danger._ Sooner you realise that working together will save us, the better. Later'.

With that, I turn on my heel and leave her standing there, feeling a little more confused and a little more enlightened about the state of those within my House.

* * *

 _December 5th 1976_

 _10:04 AM_

* * *

'Oi'.

I peer up and away from my Charms textbook, half relieved and half apprehensive to see James Potter standing before me in a rumpled white school shirt and a loose Gryffindor tie. His hair, as per-usual, was a mess of raven sticking up in every direction. _Ah, so here it is._ In the last month since I had drunkenly informed Potter I knew of Remus's, er, _issue,_ I had avoided talking to him about the subject.

It appears, though, he has found me.

'Oi, yourself,' I shoot back, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms. We were in the library and, if I knew the Gryffindor timetable as well as I thought I did (nothing to do with Remus, of course. Ahem) Potter _should_ be in Herbology right now.

Idly, he cocks a brow at me and yanks out a chair from the long and quiet table. Eyes still fixed on me, he sits on the chair and dumps his bag on the floor. 'So,' he starts, hazel eyes locks on mine and a small smile playing on his lips. 'You ready to finally talk about the party?'

 _It was coming, I guess._ 'Not really, no. Is there _anything_ to talk about?'

He merely sends me a blank stare, to which I roll my eyes and nod at. 'I _think_ there might be quite a bit to talk about, Loopy,' he shoots back, crossing his tanned arms. 'Have you told anyone what you told me?'

No. I couldn't even imagine telling anyone else. If there was one good thing about me, it was that I wouldn't tell a secret that shouldn't be told. Not even to Brant. I shake my head and pull a face. 'Dude, no'.

James nods. 'Okay. Okay...so, er, you've known for a while then?'

I nod. 'Since October 3rd'. James scoffs a little at my preciseness. 'What? It's hard to forget the day you realise one of your friends is a bloody werewolf, Potter,' I whisper, shooting him a glare. 'I told him that Brant and I were out on the grounds drunk on the night of the full moon. He acted as Remus does and had a momentary freak out. It didn't take me long to figure it out, after that. He's ill a _lot_ and he always acts _funny_ around the full moon-'

James snorts and leans back in his chair, a boyish grin on his face. 'You mean like pouncing on you? He told us. He gets pretty mortified after-'

I roll my eyes. 'Merlin, _I know._ You'd think I was whacking him off of me with how bloody guilty he acts after. It's annoying, because I _know_ why he's being a dick. It's this whole self-hate thing, right?'

James stares at me for a moment, face settling into a neutral look. '...Yeah. Merlin, you really get him, you know that? Remus...' He trails off and rubs his forehead, causing his glances to go askew. Straightening them, he sighs. 'I shouldn't be talking to you about this...I haven't even told Pads that you know. Remus would...he would freak the _fuck out_ if he knew you knew. He's _terrified_ of ever hurting anyone, Lola'.

I let the words sink in, glad that I had been on the dot about my assumption of Remus's opinion on his...condition. 'I gathered,' I snipe, clapping my textbook shut. The library is quiet around us, and I glance about to make sure we are alone before continuing. 'He _knows_ I would never judge him, though. I was quite open about that fact last year when my idiot Housemate voiced his opinion about...about werewolves'.

James just shakes his head in a hopeless manner. 'Don't even get me started. We've all spoken to him about a billion times about it. I mean, you know...' James trails off and gives me a sideways glance. 'Well, he obviously fancies you. Bugger, don't tell him I told you, will you? I mean, it's pretty bloody obvious, really. And if this is going to help him be fucking _happy-'_

I push down the radiant and happy smile that is threatening to break out. _He fancies me. He likes me. I mean, I knew, of course. But there's truth. Oh my God, is this what it feels like to be a happy, giggly girl? Okay, calm down. Potter is still here._

I lean forward and keep a blank face. _Scheming. This I can do._ 'I've been trying to... _befriend_ him. Get him to me comfortable enough around me, you know? I only ever want him to tell me, never the other way around. I want him to...to be _cool_ with it'.

Potter snorts and stares at me in bewilderment. 'Merlin, who would have clocked it would be _you_ to act this way, huh? I wish Pete and Sirius and I had the same outlook. We figured it out in second year and bombarded him. He freaked out and started saying sorry and that he would leave the school-' James stops himself suddenly, a frown appearing on his face. 'I shouldn't tell you that'.

I nod and cock a brow. 'Probably not'.

'I'm doing this to _help_ him, you know? He likes you - fancies the pants off of you, really. And you _obviously_ fancy him, regardless of all this bullshit that you're doing this to be his _friend_ -'

'I _am-'_

James scoffs. 'You're a _Slytherin_. You don't do something like this unless you want something out of it'.

 _Touche._

I narrow my eyes and glare. 'Who knows?'

James shrugs. 'Sirius, Pete and I. McGonagall and Dumbledore, obviously. Sniv-' He cuts himself off, an utterly horrified look gracing his features. He looks at me, most likely hoping I hadn't heard his slip. 'Don't ask,' he snaps, when I open my mouth with a surprised look. _Snape knows?_ 'I can't tell you what happened. If it ever gets to the point where Remus is open with you, _he_ will'.

I nod once again, crushing my curiosity. I was lucky he was telling me this much. 'That's fair. Do you...do you think it will ever get to that point?'

He eyes me then, a small smile playing on his face as he stares at me. I glare under his gaze, feeling uncomfortable and annoyed. '...You really like him, don't you? Ha. Who would have thought moody and book smart Moony would attract the shittiest Slytherin on the planet? I mean, we all could have called it. After your oh-so passionate pro-werewolf speech last year, you had him bloody _hooked._ He was making heart eyes at you all year'.

I blink and James smiles cheekily.

I am _not_ blushing.

* * *

 **WOO. I actually enjoyed this chapter, here are three main story lines that I'm focusing on and I got to involve them all. Thank you for the kind words, guys! Keep 'em coming.**


	21. Don't Drink The Pumpkin Juice

_A wise girl knows her limits, a smart girl knows that she has none_ ― **Marilyn Monroe**

* * *

 _December 18th 1976_

 _3:02 PM_

* * *

'Yes, the _library,'_ I snap back, walking with Brant, Edith and Endrew from our last class of term, Potions. The Marauders were all eerily absent from the class, something of which seemed to have Slughorn on edge, as if he was expecting the boys to burst out of one of the cupboards with a hoard of dungbombs. Still, Remus had warned me he wouldn't be there for the lesson. 'I do go to the library quite often, you know. _Dick_ '.

Endrew merely snorts and shoves his Potions book into his bag as other students pile out around us, all of them loud and excited at the prospect of going home for the holidays. The more annoying of the Bandini twins seemed to be finding the fact that I was spending an hour in the library before the big leaving feast an absolute fucking _hoot._ 'You're going fucking weird, Lola,' Endrew shoots back, slinging his bag across his chest. 'Lola Leola. In the _library-'_

'Leave her alone, 'Drew. I think it's _good_ that Lola has made some much needed changes to herself this term-'

I cut Edith off with a scandalised look, whilst Brant snorts into his closed fist. 'What the hell do you mean _much needed-'_

'She means,' laughs Brant, whilst Edith attempts to assure me _she hadn't meant it like that._ 'You were a hot mess last year, now you're merely a slightly warm mess this year. It's an improvement, Lo. Don't worry. You know I saw her reading _Hogwarts: A History_ a couple of days ago? If this is Lupin's influence or whatever-'

I throw him a none too happy look. 'I just wanted to _read something-'_

Because you'd already finished your Charms essay and had nothing else to do that free period,' Endrew cuts in, barely looking at any of us as a seventh year Ravenclaw with particularly long legs passes us in the busy hallway. 'Since when does _that_ ever happen. I mean, aside from with Brant. But he's a fucking loser'. He throws Brant a look, to which Brant merely throws him in the finger.

...I mean, at least they're on good terms now. As long as none of us _ever_ mention Sirius Black's Halloween/Birthday party ever again, that is.

'Oh, fuck off, the lot of you-' And then I see _him_ , standing at the edge of the dungeons corridor with his school robes shoved into his schoolbag and the top three buttons of his white school shirt undone. Judging from the mess of his sandy hair, and the fact that he was throwing me a breathless smile with pink cheeks, I could only assume that he had hurried form whatever the fuck he, Peter, James and Sirius had been up to.

'So _that's_ why you're going to the library,' drawls Edith.

'You're fickle as fuck, Lola,' says Endrew lightly.

'Fuck off,' I reply brightly, eyes still trained on Remus. I smile at him and turn to my three best friends, before hurrying off. 'Later, guys. I'll see you at the feast, okay? Save me some of that chocolate pudding they always give you guys and not the Slytherins!' With that, I ignore the pinch that Brant sends my way and hurry along the corridor, weaving past my fellow Sixth Years before reaching Lupin. He peers around the corner cautiously, as if worried Slughorn is going to come bounding out and inquire where he was. 'He barely even noticed you weren't there,' I quip, reaching him and grinning.

He stuffs his hands into his pockets and tears his eyes away from the end of the dungeons, instead turning that amber gaze on me. He looks good. He always look... _fresher_ without the impending doom of the full moon. I mean, the scars are still there, but the sick, pallid skin disappears, as well as the heavy looking eyes. Instead, he looks at me with a bright eyes and a fresh face of light stubble. 'I don't know what you're talking about'.

I roll my eyes and start walking, to which he quickly follows. 'Sure thing. Perfect _Prefect_ Lupin doesn't want to get caught-'

He scoffs and sends me a sideways look, hands still stuffed into his pockets with his bag strapped across his chest. 'Would you _like_ help with your Defence Against the Dark Arts scroll, Leola?' I grin brightly up at him with my _sweetest_ possible look. ' _You're_ in a good mood'. He says it in an almost _accusing_ manner.

'I'm _always_ in a good mood,' I shoot back.

He snorts.

I elbow him in the side.

So, yeah, funny story. Turns out giving someone a hand-job on top of the Astronomy Tower gives you that extra push of confidence to ask this person if they would like to help you with your DADA essay, of which you are getting _way_ too many A's in. I mean, so far he's only helped me with my Charms essay, but Remus is _smart._ And a _very_ good teacher. Aside from that, and a few hello's and short conversations in Potions and DADA, I've attempted to keep a neutral, friendly air around him.

But, Merlin, I don't know if the others in this school are blind. He's bloody _beautiful._

'Are you excited to go home for the holidays?' he asks, and I hide my grin when I catch him looking once over his shoulder, most likely still spying out our Potions Professor. I peer briefly at the curve of his neck and the collarbones that peak briefly from underneath his shirt, and then cough and stare dead ahead at the bobbing heads of shorter students.

'Oh, er yeah,' I blurt out. 'Christmas, isn't it? Presents. Can't ever be bad'. I roll my eyes and laugh at his exasperated stare. 'And _family time,_ I guess'.

He allows me through the crowded stairway first as we make our way toward the library. Fighting down a smile, I step in front and become hyper aware of his tall form taking the same steps behind me. A huddle of first years hurry down the opposite side of the staircase, yelling happily about the leaving feast and the mistletoe that Flitwick had charmed to float about the castle.

Merlin, I _do_ love Christmas time.

And my good mood has _nothing_ to do with the fact that I can feel Lupin's hand grazing the small of my back as we clamber the crowded staircase.

Nothing at all.

'Are _you_ excited for Christmas?' I ask, as he joins me by my side once again and we weave our way through the crowds on the second floor. Remus side-steps a hoard of second years yelling and squealing around two of their red faced friends (they looked to have been caught in a mistletoe fiasco) with a worried look on his face. Ha, who would have thought the calm and collected Remus Lupin would feel uneasy around kids?

Drawing his attention back to me, shoulder brushing mine, Lupin shrugs a little. 'Pretty excited. Chocolate. Mums Christmas meal. Presents. Plus, Mrs Potter is a little more lenient letting us lot round for Boxing Day because she wants to make this Christmas _special_ for Sirius'. At that, he fights a grin and rolls his eyes. 'She bloody loves him'.

Right. Of course. Sirius ran away/got kicked out of his home with the psychotic Black family for unknown reasons. Well, not exactly _unknown._ The Great Hall had been audience to many a Howler from his mental mother. Regulus Black was often staring across the hall at his older brother whenever such a thing happened, sometimes with a smile of glee and sometimes with a frown.

I snort out a laugh. 'Poor woman. I don't know why anyone would willingly let the four of you into their home'. I ignore his mock affronted look. ' _Speaking_ of your little boy band, what was so important that you had to ditch our last Potions lesson of the term? _That's_ not very Prefect of you, Remus Lupin'. _Why does flirting with him feel so bloody difficult? I am the master of flirting! Merlin, I hate having a fucking crush. It sucks. Fuck feelings._

Remus merely throws me a sideways look and lets a sly grin fall onto his face that should _not_ be legal. 'You'll see'.

'It's going to be at the Feast, isn't it?'

'You'll _see'._

'Come on. A _hint-'_

'You're terribly impatient, you know that?'

'Yu _p-'_

'The others will kill me if I tell you. Just...' He bites his lip and smiles sneakily, once again looking at me from the corner of his eyes.

I gape at him and, in a way that I had learnt from my little brother, begin poking him in the arm. 'Aw, don't do that! You've _got_ to tell me now! _Remus!'_ I laugh, as he pointedly looks away from me.

'Merlin, you're _annoying,'_ he laughs, and it's deep and rich and so very much him. 'Fine! The others are going to _know_ I told you...' He trails off and I throw him a moody look. 'Right, at the feast...don't drink the pumpkin juice, alright?'

I blink at him as we round the corner to a quieter corridor. I mean, what sane people go to the library on the last day of term? Very few, apparently. 'Why not?' I inquire.

'Just _don't'._

' _Why not?'_

He rolls his eyes and reaches for the large library door and pushes it open for me, waving me through with a bemused look. 'I am _not_ telling you anything else. Prongs was far too happy when he thought this prank up, for me just to ruin the surprise'. With a little nudge, he pushes me through the door with yet another eye roll. He does that a lot, I'm starting find.

Sarcastic little shit.

There are a few scattered Ravenclaw and Slytherin seventh years dotted about the library, and I quickly start over to the spot Remus and I had acquired last time near the section on historical magical figures from the 1600's to the 1800's. What the hell is it that they could be planning? Either way, I was _not_ drinking that pumpkin juice. I didn't want to turn into a fucking rock or bird or whatever weird prank they had cooked up.

Settling onto the table, I plonk my bag loudly onto the surface and hear the eerily echoing _shush!_ of Pince thrum throughout the library. Remus settles opposite me and gives me a pointed look, to which I merely laugh quietly at.

Soon, we're going through each of our DADA scrolls and I am becoming more and more concerned at how much more Remus has included in the essay compared to me. 'Fuck, I didn't even think to mention that,' I mutter, eyes scanning over the paragraph on Inferi. 'Merlin, you know your Dark Arts, Remus-'

Remus, having already finished reading my own scroll on Dark Creatures, sends me a half smile. 'You're too hard on yourself. Yours is _good._ Better than that Charms essay was before I helped you, anyway'. He snorts as I swat his arm. 'I'm just _saying-'_

'I was _very_ tired when I wrote that essay, I'll have you know,' I snipe back, shrugging off my Slytherin robes and flopping them over the back of the library chair. The whole school seemed to be enveloped in one big Heating Charm at the moment, and I wasn't sure whether I was glad for it or not. 'So...it's okay?'

Lupin nods and hands my scroll back to me. 'More than. Maybe add a little more to the concluding paragraph and mention a little more about a Corporeal Patronus when talking about Dementors-'

I light up quickly. _Duh! How couldn't I mention that?_ 'Oh, yeah! Good thinking, _Professor_ Lupin,' I quip, quickly reaching into my bag for my quill and scribbling a few extra lines on the bottom of the parchment. Ignoring Remus's quiet scoff, I add the extra few lines and I look up, a happy grin splayed across my face. Remus, with his form slouched back into the chair and his mouth fighting the amused smile at my glee, looks away for the briefest moments to my bag.

And, in that split second, his smile fucking _vanishes._

I look to where he's looking and stall. _Bugger. Fuck. Shit. You're dumb, Lola Leola. You are a new kind of dumb. You really fucking are. Aren't Slytherins supposed to be just a little bit smart?_

There, poking out of my bag, is a bundle of sugar quills and a red copy of _Hairy Snout, Human Heart._ Or, as I like to call it, _The Steps You Need To Take to Woo the Werewolf You Fancy, Because He's A Stubborn, Self-Hating Idiot._ 'Something wrong?' I ask, plopping my quill back into the ink pot with a _plup_ and rolling up my parchment quickly. By the time I look away from my work, Remus is staring hard at me with a serious, curious look. 'Merlin, Remus, quit looking at me like that. What the fuck's up with you?'

And, as he must be fucking _good_ at lying by now, the serious look melts away and is instead replaced with an easy-going smile. 'Nothing. Sorry. Just thought of something. Oh, I brought some chocolate form Honeydukes along. A little end of term treat - do you want some?' I blink back the surprise at his fucking personality transplant and nod dumbly as he delves into his book filled bag and snaps a bar of caramel chocolate in half.

'You've got more books in there than there is in this bloody library,' I say lightly, chewing at my chocolate. Remus chews slowly on his, a deadpan look on his face as he glowers at me. 'You _do._ What subjects do you even do, anyway?'

Look at _me_ , subtly finding out things about him. I am _slick._ Well, not slick enough to hide the bloody book about werewolves I am reading for the sole purpose of understanding _him_ more. Still, pretty slick. Remus swallows his chocolate (I do _not_ eye the way his Adam's Apple bobs) and replies, 'Defence, Charms, Potions, Arithmancy, History of Magic and Transfiguration-'

I swallow my chocolate with a choke. 'You're taking _six_ N.E.W.T's? Merlin's balls, Remus, I knew you were smart but _bloody hell'._ Even _Brant_ was told he couldn't take that many, and he was one of the smartest people I knew. 'How the hell are you so blase about everything when you're _that_ smart? Every smart person I know is a right dickhead-'

He looks pretty smug as he grins at me. 'I'm not _that_ bloody smart-'

 _'Six N.E.W.T's._ And Arithmancy, _blugh_ -'

'It's _actually_ quite an interesting class,' he defends, crossing his arms over his chest. How weird was it, that nearly four months ago all I knew of Remus Lupin was that he was an ever so slightly drugged up looking, smirking, annoying git? On top of that he was a smarty-pants and annoyingly modest. _Praise Merlin, he's forgotten about the book._

I snort and pop some more chocolate into my mouth. 'I bet it's just you and Evans in the class, isn't it?' The frustrated look quickly falls from his face and his replaced with a bitterly amused one. 'Ha! I knew it! Bet Potter hates that...'

'He hounds me on the way to class every fucking time,' Remus drawls. ' _Find out what she's doing tomorrow evening, Moony. What's her favourite book, Moony-'_

' _I_ think it's actually kind of sweet,' I blurt out with a laugh. My cheeks turn a lovely shade of fucking _red_ when Remus stops speaking and throws me an incredulous look. For fucks sake, why does being in his presence turn me into a truth-telling, way too honest moron?

' _Sweet?'_ scoffs Remus. 'Lola Leola thinks something is _sweet?'_

'I also think you're a dick,' I reply lightly, scowling.

He merely laughs. 'Also, _you_ can stop with the whole _six N.E.W.T's_ business. Aren't you doing an Astronomy N.E.W.T, possibly one of the hardest and most _boring_ of all the subjects-'

The offended look on my face is only half joking. ' _Um_ , we look at _stars_ and _planets_? How is that _boring?'_ He laughs yet again, and I am struck by how fucking _endearing_ I find the sound. Since when did I like the sound of _laughter?_ The way his eyes crinkle and his teeth show (one of his canines leans just the tiniest bit to the side) and the floppy waves in his hair brush around his face-

Oh my God, _get a grip._

When he's done laughing _at_ me, Remus quickly reminds me that the Christmas Feast is in about ten minutes, and if he's late the others will _kill him._ With our stuff gathered into our bags, we hurry down the corridor with Remus muttering with a laugh, ' _Stars and planets'._

'Shut _up,'_ I snap back.

Once outside the Great Hall, we pause as I hit Remus on the arm for _once_ again laughing at me for tripping over a statue of a Gargoyle, of which had quickly sworn at me. 'I've been fucking abused,' I laugh out, cheeks feeling warm. 'It told me to bugger off. Surely that's not allowed in a _school'._

'You _did_ kick one of its babies,' Remus reminds me, Gryffindor emblem staring in stark contrast to my greens and silvers. Other students mill around us as they weave into the Great Hall, and I nod to Jone as he wanders forward, nodding toward the Hall as if to say _I'll see you in a sec._ 'I was going to ask, actually, if you wanted to sit on the train home with us tomorrow? I have Prefect rounds tonight, so I won't be around'.

'Who's _us_?' I ask jokingly, blinking in innocence, whilst squashing the idea that he had, perhaps, hinted that he would want to see me again before going home for the holidays if it weren't for his rounds.

Remus merely stares down at me with a blank look.

'As long as I can bring _my_ lot,' I reply with a half smile. _You smile far too much when you're around him. It's creepy._ 'Might be a bit of a squeeze in those small compartments, though'.

And then, in that Remus-like fashion that consistently surprises and turns me on, he stares down at me with a cocked brow and a cheeky half smile and says, 'Well, all the better then'. At my surprised look, he laughs and nudges me in the shoulder with a scarred hand. 'What, you're allowed to make _me_ feel uncomfortable with all the innuendos and I'm not allowed to do the same to you?'

I flatten out my smile and plant a serious look on my face. 'Well, yeah. Exactly'. Though the hubbub of students milling around us has quietened some, I still attempt to be slightly subtle as I lean up to his ear on my tiptoes (tall. Have I mentioned how fucking tall he's gotten?) and whisper lightly in his ear, 'You weren't so uncomfortable on the Astronomy Tower'.

I pull away with a grin and tug the sleeve of his white shirt, to which he merely shakes away the dumb look on his face and throws me a bemused grin. 'Tease,' he says, following me through the students. 'Oi, you sure you don't want to sit at the Gryffindor table? McGonagall won't care, it being Christmas and all'. When I look over my shoulder and squint, he actually _blushes._ 'I meant because your Housemates are, y'know...dicks'.

I laugh. 'Well put, Remus. Nah, thanks, though. I better sit with Jone. Can't leave the Lola 2.0 behind, can I? I need to teach him my ways'.

'Poor guy,' Remus quips.

So, as we enter the heavily decorated Great Hall (the ceiling glints with fake stars and falling snow, and the walls are decorated with holly and tinsel and gigantic Christmas trees) I bid him a quick farewell as he wanders to the centre of the Gryffindor Table where a frantically waving Sirius Black is beckoning him over. I pass the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables with a quick middle finger thrown to the judgy looking Brant (Slughorn yells my name across the hall in warning, which sends a few of my Housemates snickering) and make my way to the far end of the Slytherin table, where Jones waits for me.

'Was that your boyfriend?' he asks, the moment I slide onto the end of the table with him.

I throw him an annoyed look as the others settle around the hall. Dumbledore, with all his grace and twinkling robes, makes his way to the front of the Hall and begins his funny little speech about Christmas time, first term and the helpfulness of eating sweets in the evening to lift ones mood. The Slytherins around us quiet down and stare at the Headmaster with disdainful looks. ' _No,'_ I whisper back furiously.

Jone narrows his eyes at me and doesn't even bother to make it looks like he's paying attention to Dumbledore. 'Charlie says he is. He said he saw you in the Gryffindor boys dorms a few weeks ago. He _also_ said you were in bed with that boy with the scars. Charlie said they're a bunch of pranksters-'

I throw him a dirty look. 'You'll learn to not listen to _everything_ my brother says, Jone. He's an idiot. And I was not _in bed_ with him-' I cut my furious whisper off and roll my eyes. 'You're, like, eleven. Stop thinking about stuff like that-'

'I'm _twelve_ now, actually,' he replies calmly, dark eyes on me and an amused smile flashing across his face. 'Charlie says you fancy that boy'.

'Maybe _you_ fancy Charlie, with the amount you're talking about him,' I snap back, as Dumbledore begins talking about the safety of the school in such trying times. Halfway down the table, I hear a low snicker at this. I don't realise Jone is staring at me with pink cheeks and angry eyes until I tear my gaze away from the source of the noise. _Ah. Now I feel guilty._ 'Sorry, dude,' I whisper gently, nudging his skinny arm lightly. 'Hey, am I going to see you over the holidays? Charlie mentioned you might come and visit - and Elliot'.

Still, he glowers at me and turns to look and Dumbledore.

 _Merlin, this kid is such a drama queen._

Dumbledore's speech wraps up with a quote about lemon drops and sherbet, to which the Gryffindors cheer and the Slytherins sneer. At a clap of the Headmasters hands, the plates and goblets quickly fill with food and drink, and the collective cheer from around the Great Hall is very welcome. _Yum._ I reach for a plate and pile it high with chicken and chips, slapping Jone's hand away from the jug of pumpkin juice without even a glance his way.

'What are you-?' He begins to snap, but I merely send him a fixed look.

It takes only three minutes for the screams and gasps to start around the Slytherin table, but when I look up I can't help but burst into a round of loud, hardly suppressed laughter. Jone, next to me, let's out a gleeful little gasp and grabs at my arm. 'Oh my _God,'_ he laughs, looking around at each of out Housemates (specifically, those who bulled him) with a joyous look.

Still laughing at the sight, I crane my neck to clock Brant, Edith and Endrew who are looking on with the rest of the Ravenclaws with bemused looks. Cautiously, Brant cocks a brow as if to say _you?_ I shake my head. _Fuck no. I could have never thought this up._ Instead, I tilt my head toward the Gryffindor table, where each of the Marauders are standing tall and bowing to their hysterical Housemates. A few are even _bowing_ to the boys.

I can't even hold back my wide, fucking _overjoyed_ grin when Remus catches my eye over the hundreds of students heads and throws me a little salute, to which Potter elbows him in the side and shouts something over the noise that looks suspiciously like, _'You told her!'_ He is quickly distracted, though, by the sight of Lily Evans looking up at him with a bright smile.

Her amusement was most likely because Severus Snape was one of the many Slytherin victims crying out in outrage and fury because, minus Jone and I, each Slytherin was sporting a head of bright, neon green hair from root to end.

And it was fucking _beautiful._

The cheering doesn't end until the Marauders are escorted, bowing and waving, from the Great Hall by a furious looking McGonagall.

* * *

 **A light-hearted and happy chapter, yay! I'm so happy with the progress of this chapter. I always saw the Marauders sixth year as a time when the war was brewing and people were dying, but it hasn't touched Hogwarts so much yet. Seventh year, of course, will be a different story. The next chapter will likely be split into many parts to highlight Lola's Christmas Holidays. I hope you guys like what I'm doing with Remus. I _hate_ it when people make him out to be shy and such a do-gooder. I feel like he was the level-headed one of the group, but he totally pulled off just as many pranks. Plus, I always saw him as this sarcastic, moody, total softie. **

**Firstly, I just want to say _thank you_ to the reviewers who give me such in depth reviews, they make my day! I read every single one of them, guys1**

 **Secondly, I changed the bio to highlight what the story is about a little more!**

 **Later dudes!**


	22. Lighten The Fuck Up

_These days, I strive to be a bitch, because not being one sucks. Not being a bitch means not having your voice heard_ \- **Margaret Cho**

* * *

 _December 19th 1976_

 _11:05 AM_

* * *

'Lola, I _know'._

I glower at my little brother, whilst Edith, Endrew and Brant stand behind me most likely rolling their eyes. 'No,' I say, putting a hand on my hip and pointing down at him. 'I know what you're like. It's like last year when you wandered off after we saw _The Rocky Horror Picture Show._ Just...just _stay put_ after you get off the train, alright? You'll _somehow_ end up lost-'

As Charlie stares at me with an annoyed look, Elliot and Jone flanking his left and right, I hear the tell tale sign of Potter and Black snickering somewhere behind me. 'Merlin, leave him alone, won't you?' pipes up Sirius. I turn to look over my shoulder, behind my friends, to see the four Marauders hanging back down the train corridor. All around us students are ducking into compartments for their journeys back home.

I turn back to Charlie, of whom gives me a pointed look. 'Bugger off, then,' I mutter, flicking his curly black haired head.

'You're an _arsehole_ to him-' starts Brant, to which Peter quickly interrupts with an obnoxious,

'Can we _please_ find a compartment?'

We do, quickly. Edith and I take the floor at either end of the compartment, and she quickly pulls out her game of Exploding Snap and tosses it to Brant and Endrew. I don't miss the sideways glance that Brant throws me when Black plonks next to him on the seat and begins talking animatedly to Remus about some girl he had seen look at Peter as they boarded the train.

'Reckon it was that one you got off with at Halloween, Pete,' Potter says, scooping a handful of _Bertie Bott's_ from the colourful packaging. 'She was _definitely_ a Gryffindor'.

'Oi, Zaveri, did you hear Vanity got kicked off the Slytherin team as Captain?' James says, pulling Brant's attention away from his and Endrew's game of Exploding Snap. Black leans back in his seat next to him, his black t-shirt beautifully rumpled. Whereas Edith sits cross legged, leaning neatly against the compartment door, I choose to sit below the window with my legs thrown out and crossed in front of me.

My hand rests neatly on the carpet, fingers splayed out near Remus's worn and holey black Converse.

'Oh, _yes,'_ Brant replies gleefully, as Endrew is hit the face with a dozen cards. 'Slytherin is fucked. They've got _Davies_ to be Captain instead. That idiot doesn't know left from right. Dunno why they booted her, anyway. Probably something to do with her dad doing what he did, and all'.

Whereas Potter raises his brow and nods knowingly, Sirius snorts. 'Good on him. _Some_ snooty Slytherin families are doing the right thing, anyway'.

I watch the conversation with interest, until Pettigrew pipes up from his place on the seat next to Edith and says, 'What happened with her dad? And Vanity's the pretty blonde one, right?'

Remus huffs out a sigh next to me and I look up at him. He's wearing a holey jumper that's the colour of his House, with worn blue jeans and a blue scarf hanging about his shoulders. 'Her dad's high up in the Ministry, Wormtail. He announced that, despite popular opinion, he doesn't hold any loyalty to You-Know-Who. Made her pretty unpopular with your lot, I'll bet'.

I don't realise he's talking to me until his foot kicks my wrist lightly. 'Huh?' I blink. 'Oh. Shit, yeah. I caught her crying down near the dungeons a couple of weeks ago, after she got kicked off the team. She seemed pretty beat up about the whole thing. The dorm is _uncomfortable._ Bulstrode and that are pretty much treating her how they treat me - like she doesn't exist-'

'I didn't see her sitting at the reject end of the table, though,' pipes up Endrew, slapping another card onto the deck. He glances up at me with bright blue eyes and cocks a pale brow. 'You know, your end'. I glare. Sirius barks out a laugh. 'Well done with that, by the way, you lot,' he chuckles, addressing the four Gryffindors. 'The look on Yaxley's face will forever be my happy memory'.

James puffs out his chest and grins. ' _My_ idea'.

'With the help of _my_ potion making,' butts in Sirius, kicking his leg over mine to nudge his friends knee with his foot. 'I forget you share a dorm with the snakes, Lola'.

I look away from Remus's grubby shoes and cock a brow at the black haired beauty. 'Where the hell else would I sleep, Black?'

Sirius shrugs with a cheeky grin and winks at me. 'I don't know, you spend an awful lot of time in _our_ dorm-'

'Under the influence of _firewhiskey-'_

'Merlin, will you two shut up,' grumbles Remus, yawning widely and nudging me in the side once again with his dirty Converse. As Black settles back into his seat and begins talking with Potter, Pettigrew attempts to start a conversation with the _single_ Edith, and Brant and Endrew go back to their game, I bite my tongue and tug lightly at the dark hair of his ankle. 'Ow!'

I snicker quietly and peer up at him, to which he cocks a brow and looks down at me. Whilst biting the inside of his cheek, he merely continues to look down at me as I brush my fingers once again against the skin of his ankle, over the white socks.

Of course, I don't let anyone _see_ me doing this.

* * *

 _December 19th 1976_

 _4:31 PM_

* * *

It as actually kind of...nice, to see how easily our two friend groups could get along. After a billion games of Exploding Snap, Brant tore himself away from beating Endrew and started speaking to Potter about Quidditch. Remus and Sirius started up a conversation about muggle movies (Sirius needed some serious educating on how TV's and such even worked) and Endrew and Peter worried about N.E.W.T's.

Remus fell asleep shortly after I started tickling the outside of his ankle, of which I quickly stopped to not get ridiculed by my dick friends. Instead, Edith shuffled along a little bit and pressed her small feet to mine and started talking about Divination, assuring me that she wished she hadn't listened to her mother and had instead taken the subject.

'Look, c'mere,' she says, climbing to her knees in the middle of the long legged boys and practically climbing on top of me. I quickly cross my legs to make room for her. 'Hold out your palm'. I do, cocking a brow and wondering how much of a crock of shit this whole thing was. The boys pointedly ignore us. 'Flatten it out. Okay, let me have a _look'._ Her light blonde hair spills about her shoulders as she studies my outstretched wand-hand, eyes identical to her brothers scanning the skin. 'Yours is pretty weird'. _Great._ 'You have a strong life line, but it breaks off in places. Maybe that means you'll encounter trouble? No...that's odd. I _think_ that has something to do with health, maybe? No, they can't be right, you health line is fairly strong...Your marriage line is strong too. Right here'. She points to a point below my little finger, where a strong line is about. _Marriage? Merlin_. 'It's long, too. A little wobbly. What's this one? Oh, I _think_ it's your fate line. That's...a funny one. You have _two'._

I blink at her bemused look and pull away my hand. 'Edith, babe, I wouldn't trust it too much. I'll trust the stars more than I trust my _hand'._

She smiles in response. 'I hope so. Mine and Endrew's palms aren't very promising at all'.

* * *

 _December 19th 1976_

 _5:03 PM_

* * *

Remus blinks blearily down at me as I climb to my feet and he stretches his arms high above his head. Around us, the others are slipping their shoes back on and yawning, thanking Merlin that we're _finally_ back in London, Kings Cross. 'Have a good sleep?' I ask, smirking at his mussed up hair and sleepy gaze.

'The best,' he yawns yet again.

'Oi, c'mon, Pads. Mum and dad are gonna be waiting. You ready, Moony?' James says, gathering his stuff together and pushing Sirius out the door. Peter has already gone and bid his farewells, adamant that his mother would not want to be kept waiting. 'I want to see if I can say hello to Mr and Mrs Evans again. They _so_ liked me, last year-'

'Until Lily told them what a creep you are, I'm sure-'

'Bugger off, Pads-'

'Oh, I can see mum!' trilled Edith, the brightest smile I had seen in a long time flash across her face. On the far end of the platform there was Mrs Bandini, with her shock of blonde hair and her wide dark eyes. She stood with her robes wrapped tightly around her, rings glittering on each of her fingers. I watched a few of the other parents look at her with sympathetic looks. 'We'll see you on the platform, Lo! Mum will want to say hi!' With that, she follows the others out of the compartment with her hand gripping Endrew's.

Brant stands there for a moment, slowly putting his wand into his pocket. Plonking onto the seat behind me, I go about tying my shoe laces as Remus wraps his scarf about his neck. As I stand and smile, there is an ever so slightly awkward silence as I realise the two boys had been sharing a look.

Finally, Brant looks away and looks to me. 'Right,' he starts. 'Oh. Look at that. My mum. I'll see you in a sec, Lo-'

I furrow a brow and look out of the window, across the tracks, to see if I can see the beautiful Mrs Zaveri. ' _I_ can't see her. What the hell are you on about, Brant? You're going bloody blind-'

' _In a bit, Lola'._

I blink at him as he darts form the compartment, amused at my best friends stupid antics. 'I think he's on something other than weed these days, you know,' I tell Lupin, throwing my bag over my shoulder and turning back to him. 'He's getting odder by the day-' I can hardly finish my sentence, though, as Lupin catches me by the wrist and pulls me gently toward him. There's a moment of hesitance in him as he looks at me, as if waiting for me to pull away, before he presses his lips softly to mine.

 _Huh. Okay, then._

It's so fucking _different_ from the full moon kisses. It's soft and nice and...a kiss. Just a nice kiss.

Sorry. I'm not very good at mushy stuff.

Still, the feel of his dry lips on mine have the words dying in my throat. I pat him on the chest after a few seconds and huff out a bemused laugh, hand still resting on his chest as I look up at him. 'You're giving me insanely mixed signals, you know'.

He looks pretty guilty at that, and a pained look crosses his face. 'I know...sorry'.

 _Tell him you know._

The thought flies through my mind and, for a second, I wonder if I should. Then I remember what James had told me and how Remus had reacted when he knew I had been so close to seeing his werewolf form, and I squash the idea. No, I'll wait. I'll be patient. I'll let him be selfish and I'll be selfish in return. 'Well, as long as we're like this...' I say, grinning wickedly. 'And considering I won't see you for a few weeks, I think I'm going to need my fix'.

I push my hands against his jawline and kiss him hungrily, all softness evaporating. He complies quickly, reaching sideways to yank down the blind that coveres the train window. Tinged in darkness, we push against each other, gripping at the warm clothing that wrapped up our bodies. It's nothing bad, anyway. Just a long kiss that probably went on just a little _too_ long.

'My mum and dad are going to be wondering where I am,' I gasp, pulling away from him and stepping back. 'Bugger'.

Remus smiles sheepishly, scars stretching and stubble having scratched my cheeks. 'Same here, to be honest. C'mon. We better get going'. Still, we don't. After a moment, he reaches forward and tugs at one of my many, many curls. 'I'm glad...' He coughs and throws me an awkward look. 'It's very fucking corny, but I'm glad you're in my life, Lola Leola'.

I fight a smile and pat him softly on the arm, fighting back a full blown grin. 'Remus,' I laugh, actually fucking _blushing._ 'I seriously regret letting you into mine,' I finish, smile vanishing entirely from my face and speaking with the utmost seriousness.

'You are a _git_ ,' he deadpans.

We exit the train quickly, taking our luggage as they are thrown our way and spying out our separate families. He hovers close to me until he points, finally, to a brown haired couple conversing with Potter, Black and what I assume is the Potter Parents. His mum _looks_ like a muggle, as mine does, with muggle clothing and eyes alight as she scans the heaving platform. He looks more like her than his dad, who has darker hair, a full beard and a kind face.

'Oh, my little ball of _evil!'_ I jump, mortified at my fathers loud shout across the platform. Face deepening to a shade of red that I'm sure doesn't even exist, I turn away from my family, who are grouped with Brant and his amused mother, and turn to a dumbfounded Remus. My father, apparently, has started waving manically across the platform to me.

'He's a, er, Gryffindor,' I reply, voice tight and lips pursed. 'He likes to make fun of me being in Slytherin. He's also an idiot'. _And I am going to murder him tonight. Oh, there's Yaxley and his delightful family throwing my murder looks. Fantastic. Just what I need. Thanks dad._

Remus suddenly breaks out in a wide grin. 'That's hilarious'.

'It really isn't,' I assure him. 'I better get going, before Brant tells them something he shouldn't. I'll, er, see you later then?'

Awkward. Brilliant.

He nods and fights a smile. 'Most likely'. He glances over his shoulder, to where James and Sirius are talking animatedly to Remus's interested mum and dad. When they glance over, he stiffens. 'I better get going too. Merlin knows what they're saying to my mum and dad'. Looking back at me, he smiles lightly. 'Is it okay if I write to you?'

I pull a face and roll my eyes. 'Of course it is, you fucking idiot'.

 _Try to not look too happy that he just asked you that._

'Okay. Good'.

'Good,' I grin.

'Have a good Christmas, Lola'.

'And you, Remus'.

* * *

 _December 21st 1976_

 _10:00 AM_

* * *

'Mum, Lola's eating all the bacon!'

'Oh my God, I am _not!'_

My father swoops into our blue and white kitchen, where there are more paintings and pictures of mountains and the ocean than a fucking museum would have. Plonking onto one of the large wooden chairs at the long counter, he grabs a fistful of surely burning hot bacon and shovels it into his mouth.

'Dad - what the _hell_ , dude!'

' _Daaaad!'_

My mother, who has surely locked herself in the upstairs bathroom, is conveniently silent.

It's a typical Saturday for our house, really. Located in the depths of countryside near a big ol' lake, _The Blue House_ was aptly named. My mum and dad had bought it years ago for the exact reason that it was a two story (with a basement) bright blue house, with colourful muggle decorations of butterflies stuck to odd walls. My mum had _loved_ it and my dad had _loved_ my mum, so they bought the funny little house.

There weren't many houses for miles, which was useful to my dad when he taught my brother Quidditch. There was a time in which he tried to do the same for me, but I told him politely to bugger off. The rolling fields and large lake were cover enough from any muggles who might come nearby. Just in case, dad had put up charms all over the place that worked on any muggle other than my mother and maternal grandparents.

I quickly nab the last piece of bacon and grin evilly at Charlie, who sits on the other side of the counter with a horrified look. 'Lola!'

'Gotta be faster if you want to go for Quidditch tryouts,' I pipe up, chewing happily on my greasy bacon. ' _Mmmmm_. Yum, yum, _yum_ -'

'Dad!'

Dad merely flips open that mornings copy of _The Daily Prophet_ and sends Charlie a pointed look over the top of the pages. 'She isn't wrong, son,' he drawls instead, chuckling when Charlie's face falls to one of utter disappointment. 'Looks like we'll have to go and practise this afternoon. How does that sound?'

The little shits face soon blossoms into a happy grin. 'Yeah, okay - oh, post!'

I look up, as I seem to do every time out mentally challenged barn owl comes swooping through the open kitchen window that sits above the sink. Despite the frost that seems to cling to every inch of our large green garden, mum insists on having the window open at all times. _Take in the smell of the outside, Lo._ I would consistently tell her that I would rather not. Still, the owl named Godric (favouritism, or what?) flies unsteadily through the chilly December wind, over our lone apple tree, and through the gap in the glass pane windows and lands directly on top of the greasy plate.

'Stupid bloody bird,' Dad snips, waving it away from the plate with a large hand as Godric ruffles his grey feathers and looks rather affronted. 'What have you got this morning, then? Oh, a letter from your Aunt, it looks'. Ugh, my Aunt Bea wrote to my Dad only when she was inviting us to some lame family party in her mansion in Ireland (she wrote some boring history book about Godric Gryffindor) 'One for you, Charlie,' he tosses the small letter to Charlie and I wait, ever so patiently. 'And none for you, my little snake-'

At that moment, a larger and darker barn owl comes hopping gracefully into the kitchen. In its beak, it holds a crinkled letter. I dart forward before Dad can even go to retrieve it.

'Brant changed his owl? Or is it the twins?' Dad grumbles, eyes flashing over the letter in his hand. 'When are you going to marry that Zaveri boy anyway?'

I glower at him as I pluck the letter from the larger owl's beak and throw some grain its way. Dad merely throws me an ever-amused smile underneath that stupid moustache of his. 'Dad, no. Ew'.

'She fancies this Gryffindor boy, anyway-'

I look away from the envelope with a furious, oh-so Slytherin snarl on my face. 'Charlie-!'

'A Gryffindor, hey!' my dad booms, suddenly very animated as he looks from my to the smirking Charlie with a shit-eating grin. 'Now, _that's_ what I like to hear. Who is it, then? Someone in your year? _Potter_ perhaps? The Potter's were always a good lot-'

'I'm going to my _room,'_ I snap, whilst dad booms out a laugh. 'I'll kill you later,' I warn Charlie, sliding from my chair and waggling a finger at him. Padding away from the kitchen and into the front hallway in my shorts and baggy shirt, I make for the stairs and read my name written in a block letter scrawl across the front of the crumpled envelope.

 _Oh, bugger. I think he's finally wrote to me._

I bound to my room with a quick hello to my mum as she exits the bathroom, hair wrapped in a towel. Slamming my blue painted door behind me and throwing myself onto my bed (with about a billion pillows on it, mind) I tear open the envelope and feast my eyes on the scrawling handwriting of Remus Lupin.

 _Lola,_

 _Sorry it's taken me so long to write. Mum thought it would be fun to have me working day in and day out on fixing up the chicken coop in our garden. My break has been riveting so far, as you can tell. How's your break been? Working hard at not being so shit at Charms, I hope._

 _If your parents saw that I would like to assure them that was a joke and I am actually a very nice person._

 _First things first, I want to say sorry again for what happened on the train. I need to stop doing that to you and I know I do. Regardless, thanks for putting up with my bollocks for the past term. It's much appreciated, and Padfoot has assured me you're a saint for doing so. I would also like to add that since he can now do magic outside of school, he is fucking unbearable._

 _Secondly, Prongs is having a New Years party coming up. He told me to invite you and your mates, if you didn't already have plans. Unfortunately, I won't be there (try not to be too distraught). My Aunt's ill and we have to travel to Manchester to see her._

 _Bugger. Gotta run. Mum is now informing me that the chickens have escaped my apparently abysmally made coop._

 _Remus._

I write back to quickly that I'm sure there's smoke coming off the page. _Your Aunt is ill, my arse..._

 _Remus,_

 _I don't forgive you. Not even in the slightest. You're a bloody tease. My parents saw that and not think you're a terrible human being and have forbid me from ever speaking with you again._

 _Only kidding._

 _You're forgiven. Who am I to complain, anyway? I get Remus Lupin kisses out of it, and they ain't too bad, I'll have you know. Still, I'll be honest, I thought I was the emotionally constipated one in our friendship. Are you ever going to tell me why you have your little apology sessions after touching up this hot bod? I'm gonna start taking offence soon, dude._

 _Unfortunately_ _, I also have an Aunt that I have to see. Considering how I avoided going to hers last New Years, I'm being forced to Ireland for the annual and oh-so fun 'Leola New Years Fiesta'. Edith, Endrew and Brant would most likely want to go, though. I take it other Ravenclaws are going?_

 _My break has so far consisted of ensuring Charlie does his homework properly (you Gryffindors are definitely brawn over brain), and trying to get my dad off my back about finally learning how to play Quidditch. A chicken coop, hey? Merlin, Remus, you surely have a glamorous existence. I can't complain, though. Brant's coming round tomorrow evening to save me from my mad, Gryffindor obsessed family._

 _As you saw, my dad finds it utterly hilarious that I'm in Slytherin._

 _Go look after you chickens, mother hen._

 _Over and out,_

 _Lola._

* * *

 _December 22nd 1976_

 _8:08 PM_

* * *

'I mean, a Marauder taking the time to actually _write_ to a girl says a lot, to be honest,' Brant comments, tossing aside the two letters Remus had written to me the night before. Plonking himself onto my black duvet, he kicks his socked feet onto my pillow shaped like a dolphin and grins at me, folding his arms behind his head. 'Black just screws them and Potter, up until last year, just got with girls in broom closets. Aside from Pettigrew copping off with girls at parties, I've never really heard of Lupin getting with anyone. I'll give him this, he is surprisingly suave'.

I plonk myself on my white painted desk chair and flop my feet to rest on the end of my bed. ' _Right?_ The transition from fifth to sixth year was _mega._ Don't even get me started on the transition from fourth to fifth. He went from skinny runt to floppy haired God-'

Brant pulls a face. 'I just can't see it. I _really_ can't'. I huff and he sighs. 'He was giving me mad guy looks on the train though. It's why I bolted. Take it you got some lovin' before departing for the holidays?'

I smile easily and grab a bouncy balls from my cluttered desk, throwing it from hand to hand. 'Oh, _yes._ Oi, do you think you'll go the party then? He said it's not just Gryffindors'.

'Sure, why not? Are you _sure_ you can't come?'

I nod grimly. 'Aunt Bea wants me there, because I ditched last year for _your_ little party'.

Brant huffs and rolls his eyes. ' _Lame._ Oi, wanna show me how to work a television again? It's _really_ starting to bug my sister that, whenever she visits, I have a new muggle toy'.

I hop from my chair and grin. ' _Anything_ to annoy Luella'.

* * *

 _December 25th 1976_

 _7:50 AM_

* * *

Our heavily decorated Christmas tree shines above us, glittering with lights and tinsel and everything tacky that my mother could get her hands on. Every family picture in the living room was surrounded by hanging green and silver tinsel, and I couldn't help but grin tiredly at the sight.

Charlie, to my relief, was over the moon with the collectable _Superman_ figurine I found for him.

Mum got weirdly teared up at the perfume Charlie and I got her.

Dad merely grinned and patted me on the leg when he opened his signed photograph that Charlie and I had managed to find and order from _Quidditch Weekly._

For myself, I was gifted a new pair of high-waited jeans from my mother ( _flared, Lo, because it's fashionable),_ a Remembrall by my father ( _you'd forget your own head if it wasn't screwed on),_ and a hand knitted green wand holder by Charlie ( _mum taught me how to do it. You like knitting, right?)._ From Brant, I got a bright red lipstick from some expensive brand that was charmed to stay on. From Edith I got a book on making _magical_ cocktails. From Endrew I got a lovely bottle of aged firewhiskey.

'Hold on a second,' Dad says, reaching for the bottle. I pass it to him with a apprehensive look, grinning in relief when he says, 'Blimey. This must have cost a bomb. We're having some of this tonight!'

Lastly, a round crumpled paper package and a shoddily wrapped square package lay at the back of the pile of unwrapped presents. 'They came last night,' Mum says, smiling lightly. 'You usually only get presents from Brant and the twins. Are you making more friends, finally?'

I pointedly ignore her.

 _Goodie. More gifts._ Unwrapping the first of the presents along with the letter charmed to stick onto it, I laugh at the sight of a light bulb and a messily scrawled words that say, _Lola, for you, on Christmas Day. Maybe now you'll lighten the fuck up. Love, the Marauders._ I laugh for a good minute before my dad snatches the letter from my hand and chuckles too, assuring me that these Marauders seemed like a funny lot.

Second, the crinkled and slightly ripped square package has only a note stapled to the side. _No magic._ To my delight and guilt ( _fuck, I didn't get him anything)_ I note the familiar stocky, plain handwriting to be that of Remus Lupin. As mum begins gathering the pile of wrapping paper and asking Charlie if he liked his presents, I tear into the square package.

It's a book. A book with a cover as black as night, with tiny little stars moving slowly about the black, and planets whooshing past every so often. _The Astronomers Guide to the Solar System: Of Stars and The Planets We Know._ I blink at the book, hand moving over the cover and watching as the stars move about my finger tips like they're avoiding my touch. _This must have cost loads. What the fuck, Lupin?_ I'm sure I wasn't the only one who noticed the fact that Remus dressed far less fashionably and tidily than his mates. Call me judgemental, but at sixteen that could only mean a lack of money.

'That's a pretty book,' Mum says lightly, as Dad clambers to his feet and announces the turkey won't cook itself. I throw open the cover. Each page depicts a different planet, the surface swirling and the words fading.

 _Holy fuck._

I nod dumbly and reach for the crumpled bit of parchment, my laugh causing Charlie to roll his eyes and mutter something about, ' _Stupid girls'._ For there, in his handwriting, were the words,

 _Lola,_

 _The light bulb was Padfoot and Wormtail's idea. This one was mine. Now you can enjoy your stars and planets without going out into the cold, you weirdo._

 _Merry Christmas,_

 _Remus._

* * *

 _December 25th 1976_

 _12:30 PM_

* * *

 _Remus,_

 _I DID NOT KNOW WE WERE DOING PRESENTS._

 _That being said, I am horribly grateful for your present. Don't take the piss out of me for being nice, but it was wonderful. Best gift ever. Who knew you were nice and thoughtful beyond that moody exterior? Thank you. I am mortified I didn't get you anything, so I will bestow you with the best fucking gift when we get back to school._

 _Merry Christmas._

 _Lola x_

* * *

 _December 31st 1976_

 _11:41 PM_

* * *

I stood outside with the rest of my family, cousins and Aunts and Uncles milling underneath the marque that Aunt Bea had hired for the event. With the duel effort of everybody, a big ol' heating charm had been put up around the garden. Charlie had run off to play with some of our younger cousins, and Jone had also joined us for New Years.

The group of adults I stood with (there was no one in my family my age) spoke quietly of the war that was brewing, and what Dumbledore was saying in the _Prophet_ on the matter. At the mention of Hogwarts being the safest place for me, Dad gripped my shoulder and smiled a little sadly as I blinked back at him. 'It is safe, Dad,' I murmur, knocking his shoulder with mine.

Mum can only look on, trying to understand the reasoning behind You-Know-Who's hatred for those like her.

Still, I couldn't help but look up at the sky and think it so fucking unfair that tonight, of all nights, Remus was in agony. Or had already changed into a werewolf. Either way, he got the shitty end of the stick.

As the full moon shone down at me, I thought for the first time of the unfairness of it all.

* * *

 _January 1st 1977_

 _10:48 AM_

* * *

 _Lo,_

 _The party was good. Endrew got off with McKinnon (finally). Edith stayed far away from Francis. Potter and Evans copped off at midnight, but she looked petty angry after._

 _Something bad happened. Long story short, I hung out with Pettigrew and Black. From what I can remember, after Pettigrew left us in the garden I, being my stupid self, tried to get off with Black. He pushed me over and called me some names. He seemed fucking angry. It was bad, Lo. Some seventh years saw it. Pettigrew did too. They called me a fucking fag. I wish you'd been there. I feel shitty and stupid and mortified. Can you come to mine via your Aunt's flu network? I'll connect you._

 _I'm starting to realise why there's no out people at Hogwarts._

 _From your pathetic best friend,_

 _Brant._

* * *

 _January 1st 1977_

 _10:59 AM_

* * *

I am going to murder Sirius Black.

* * *

 **Your reviews make me v happy, guys. Not far from 200 now! I'm glad SO many of you agreed with how I see Remus. I feel like the more he gets to know you, the more teasing and sarcastic he is. Other than that, he's quiet and stoic and considered a little moody.**

 **Now, I don't want anyone to think I'm going any Sirius hate here. Honestly, I don't see Sirius as being homophobic at all. You'll see that in coming chapters. I think that with drink and his own views that he's most likely trying to break out of (that his family put upon him. He may not be pureblood obsessed, but I'm sure the Black family had other shitty views) he might have been shocked at Brant's forwardness. Plus, it's the 70's. It as a time of liberal outbreak, but people were still shitty. Don't hate Sirius! He was drunk!**

 **Also, I'm trying to mega update at the moment because I've finished uni and it's summer (I got a 2:1) and other than drinking my life away, I have way more free time. You're welcome.**

 **My tumblr is qarlgrimes. Please review! Makes me jolly.**


	23. Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

_Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned_ \- **William Congreve**

* * *

 _January 4th 1977_

 _5:07 PM_

* * *

I have only been truly, _truly_ angry a handful of times in my life.

There was the time I found out my mum was pregnant with Charlie. For some reason, I had never felt so fucking betrayed by another person. Dramatic, I know. Stupid, too. Alas, the moment I saw that ugly, pink little thing that the nurses at the local muggle hospital called my brother, I was ecstatic. I loved him. Thought he was the coolest thing ever. Another time was when Brant, as we all know, informed me that I am bitch and that I should _really_ work on that. The other, when Remus Lupin told his friends what I said to him on that staircase at the end of fifth year. Finally, when Emma Vanity called my mother the filth of the Earth in second year, proclaiming that the dirt and stink of my mother seemed to have rubbed off on me and my blood traitor father. I remember throwing my wand to the ground and tackling her to the floor with my tiny fists curled tight.

Still, nothing quite compares to the fucking _rage_ I feel toward the lovely looking Sirius Black and the plain and chubby Peter Pettigrew.

After receiving Brant's letter, I had gone straight to his beautiful, ivy covered house in the Suffolk countryside and demanded to know what happened. He was never worried, my Brant. The fact that he was a hungover, pale mess only had my Slytherin rage coiling inside me all the more. He was mortified. Said the drink made him brave in the stupidest way, and with the way Black is (flirty, dirty) he tried to kiss him just after midnight.

Black had pushed him away, called him a fucking desperate idiot and said _nothing_ when Pettigrew muttered the word _fag_ and a few Ravenclaws (unpopular ones, albeit) had joined in on the laughter. Brant had gone to the fireplace, grabbed the floo powder and gone as far away from Potter Manor as he possibly fucking could.

I was mad. Furious. I replied sparingly to Remus's letters, bitter in the fact that I hoped he would voice my coldness to his friends and _they_ would tell him what had happened. I was almost looking _forward_ to going back to Hogwarts. The train journey back had been spent playing Exploding Snap, talking about Christmas, and assuring each other that Black and Pettigrew were a fucking idiots, and if _anyone_ said _anything_ to Brant, we would hex them.

I forget, sometimes, that no one really knew he _liked_ boys. Why was it so hard for him, yet somehow more accepting for me to like both dick and vag? The world never ceased to fucking disappoint me.

The Welcome Feast is a friendly affair, with Dumbledore welcoming us back and assuring us that the recent attacks on a muggle bridge construction _was_ the work of You-Know-Who, no matter what lies the _Prophet_ fed to us. _You fuckin' tell 'em, Dumbles._ I could see the looks shared down my table, stronger and more daring than before. I guess a trip back to their sheltered, Death Eater lives renewed the hate in most of my House.

The moment we are dismissed to go to bed, I slide from my bench and tell Jone I will see him later. He merely grunts in reply and answers, _'I sure hope not'._ In return, I pointedly ignore him. Vanity stands steadily from her place in the middle of the table, stuck between a group of first and second years. Without making eye contact with anyone, she ducks from the table and walks briskly for the exit.

I see the Marauders in the bustle of the Gryffindors, their heads grouped together as they walk quickly from the Hall. _Target acquired._ Merlin, I love this. The _rush_ of an impending walloping. With a wide smile, I take one last gulp of my juice and begin my steady walk through the thick of the students who make their way toward their respective Common Rooms.

Brant, Edith and Endrew are fighting their way to my side the moment I leave the Slytherin table. 'Lola,' Brant says gently, as if talking to a fucking child. 'Look, you don't _have_ to do this. You're going to make a _scene-'_

'Don't be an idiot, Brant,' Edith snipes, hugging a thick, glittery textbook to her chest and hurrying to walk in pace with me. 'Let her do what she wants. Lola' she speaks to me now, and I face her with interested glance. 'I give you full permission to obliterate them. And by _that_ I mean Pettigrew and Black. Potter and Lupin had _nothing_ to do with this. _Please_ don't ruin you chances of having a healthy relationship'.

 _Healthy relationship. He's a werewolf who's scared shitless of anything remotely like a relationship._

I smile brightly and nod. 'Duly noted, Edith. Now, you lot hurry back to Ravenclaw Tower. Brant, quit looking at me like that! I'm just going to _talk_ to them, alright? I can't risk getting into another duel anyway, can I?'

Brant narrows his eyes and flares his nostrils, as Endrew looks slightly put out at my plan. 'You promise? I'm _over_ it, anyway. Aside from those Slytherins on the train, no one's really said anything to me. It'll blow over. Just like when Filch caught you and Fabian in that broom closet last year. The _slut_ jinx tattoo on your forehead was gone within a day, and no one spoke about it again'.

 _There's_ my daily remind of why people in my House _sucks._ I think that tattoo had been the product of the lovely and graduated Lucius Malfoy. He was a _twat._

'Until _now,'_ I grumble, shooting him a glare. He's a fucking liar, anyway. He's not over it. I can tell. I know the idiot like the back of my hand, or my wand. He's embarrassed and angry and feeling stupid. Brant doesn't hurt much, but I can imagine _that_ hurt. Merlin, I thought witches and wizards were years ahead of that judgemental _bullshit_.

But Black is _cool._ He can't really think that way. He _doesn't._ He probably freaked out and did a dick, terrible thing. _Pettigrew_ on the other hand...I've heard what his mum is like. She probably forces her shitty ideas on him.

'I'm just going to _talk_ to him. He's my _friend._ I don't want to be friends with people who think like that, okay? Fuck, even a few Slytherins don't give a shit about that kind of thing. Be gay, sure. Just don't have muggle blood, otherwise you're _fucked'._ That earns a snort from Endrew. 'Look, fuck off, will you? I'll see you tomorrow morning in Potions'.

Brant just tuts, rolls his eyes and presses his forehead to the side of my head, and I lean briefly into the touch. After a moment, the three of them are darting away with Edith shooting me a wide, blue eyed stare that says _ruin them._

 _I'm just going to talk with them. Ha._ Merlin, it's like they don't know me _at all._

I dodge the Head Boy (a Gryffindor) and slink my way back to the Gryffindor Tower. I could still see the Marauders heads bobbing over the crowd of shorter students, a few of whom gave me funny looks. ' _What?'_ I snap, pushing my way through the crowd.

'You're a _Slytherin_ ,' a girl with with bushy blonde hair accuses.

'Well done, genius,' I shoot back, feeling ever so slightly silly for trying to make an eleven year old sound stupid. _Whatever._ I watch, with narrowed eyes, as Lupin is slung under the arm of Black, and Pettigrew and Potter laugh heartily at the sight. The smile that fights its way across my face is _not_ bloody welcome. You know what else isn't welcome? The sight of Charlie blinking up at me with Elliot at his side. 'Oh, _bloody_ hell-'

'Are you gonna talk to Sirius Black and the fat one?' he asks, as Elliot looks nervously my way. Dunno why, but the kid never seemed to warm to me...

I blink at my little brother and, slowly, smirk a little at his wide eyes. 'You little shit. You've been reading my mail again, haven't you?' At his sly grin, I thump him on the shoulder. He's been spending far too much time with Jones...'You're so annoying, brat. But yes, I am. You going to tell mum and dad?'

He snorts and ruffles his curly black hair. 'Hell no. From what a read, he doesn't sound nice _at all._ I like Brant. He brings me cool things whenever he comes round, like that Dragon bone'.

'Don't say hell'.

' _Don't_ tell me what to do'.

When he sticks his tongue out at me and clambers through the portrait hole with Elliot following closely, I smile at the confused looking seventh year who watches me climb through next. Merlin, I'd been here enough time, when was everyone going to stop being so shocked? I brush off my school skirt neatly as climb through the other end, once again envious of how comfy the Gryffindor Common Room was compared to my own.

' _What_ are you doing here, Leola?'

I blink and turn to look in shock at the exasperated face of Lily Evans. Her Prefect badge was shinier than normal...does she fucking _polish_ it? Stepping away from the steady line of Gryffindors clambering through the portrait hole, I eye the figures of the Marauders disappear up the staircase. Looking back to Evans, I shrug and sigh. 'I'm here to hex Sirius Black for pushing my best friend over, and likely do the same to Peter Pettigrew for calling him, and I quote, a _fag'._ I blink and smile. 'I thought we were on first name basis now, anyway. I'm hurt, _Lily'._

The look on her face is quite amazing, really. A shocked Lily Evans. How wonderful. Still, I feel like _kissing_ her when she lets a slow, easy smirk fall across her face and gives an easy shrug. 'Well, I can't seem to argue with that. And make it a _light_ hex please, _Lola._ Black has the ability to bitch and moan for _days_ about the smallest of things. Please, proceed'.

I gape at her for a moment, before grinning and slapping her on the shoulder. 'You and I are going for a fucking _drink_ sometime, Lily Evans. You are a _hoot._ No wonder James fancies you so much!'

With that, I spin on my heel and leave her blushing to her red roots.

By this point, the walk to the Sixth Year boys dorms is a familiar one. Ah, there's the place Remus and I got off...twice. Oh, and there's the place I fell over that one time. And _there's_ where I almost threw up when I was hungover. How lovely. I feel a little thrill as I hear the familiar voice of James Potter echo down the hallway of the boys floor - oh, I _love_ confrontation. The cunning of a Slytherin is _never_ wasted when it comes to a good ol' revenge argument.

 _Bugger. The doors open._

Only slightly, really. Maybe a foot. Anyway, I go super sneaky mode and press myself to the wall, sliding along it and ignoring the odd looks from the other boys who are going into the respective dorms. _Oh, bugger off._ Rather than paying them any mind, I sneak up until I am level with the crack in the door, and the anger I feel in the pit of my stomach turns to a cold, dead _rage._

'-Vanity looked pretty put out tonight. Did you see her sitting alone, again?' Remus. He sounded sad _for_ her. See? That's why I like this guy. Good person. Would recommend.

'-I heard her mum left her dad - couldn't take the heat from the other _Death Eaters,_ I guess. Not really getting the _inside scoop_ on all the 'pureblood gossip' since moving out, anyway'. Sirius. Bit of a dick. Would _not_ recommend.

'I was more looking at Lola'. Potter. Was he _laughing?_ 'She looked like she wanted to murder the two of you. Haven't you learned by now to not fuck with those Slytherin witches, Pads, Wormy? What? You _seriously_ didn't see her staring-? Well, I'd watch my back if I were you. She's pretty protective of Zaveri'.

' _You two_ are the reason she hasn't been talking to me much since New Years, you bloody _gits_. Why couldn't you just turn him down nicely, Pads?' Remus. So he _had_ noticed. Nice to know my passive aggressiveness hadn't gone to waste. 'Why the fuck did you have to shove him over? Wormtail told me what happened, don't look so bloody innocent!' There was a slam as he, presumably, shut his trunk.

'I'm with Moony on this one. Why _didn't_ you just tell him to bugger off nicely?' Potter. See? I liked Potter. Potter was a-okay in my books. 'I've never seen the poor guys look so screwed up. You were shitty too, Wormtail'.

' _What?'_ squeaks the little _rat._

Golly, this was _fun._ I should spy on people more often.

'Because I didn't want a fucking guy kissing me? And Wormtail called him a _fag,_ he's worse! I'd never say that!' There is, to my utter horror and blind anger, laughter in his tone. I mean, yes, I am sure Sirius Black did not mean to be as malicious as Pettigrew. I _know_ he's not that kind of person. He's _good_. He stands up for people. He stands up for _me._ But, he bullies people too. Snape. Some girls he's rejected. And now, my best friend was copping his shitty attitude like what was said to him was nothing but a _joke_. It seemed _someone_ had to knock him off his pedestal a little.

I suppose it was that gross _f_ word that had me smiling lightly, plucking my wand from my pocket, pushing my hair behind one shoulder, and then kicking their door open with a pleasant look.

To my utter _delight,_ I am faced with four equally _horrified_ expressions from the boys.

'Hello, _lads_ ,' I say brightly, letting a wide smile round my cheeks. 'See, Black, I _really_ don't like that word'. He opens his mouth to say something, his white shirt unbuttoned and his black hair a wonderful mess, but I instead raise my wand and shout, ' _Langlock! Flipendo!'_ Potter nearly trips over his own bed to get away from the form of Sirius Black choking on his tongue as it flies to the roof of his mouth and falling rapidly to the red carpet. 'It's fucking _rude,'_ I snap, taking a further step into the room.

'Now, _Lola_ -' Remus starts, holding up his hands and taking one step toward me.

' _Peter,'_ I trill, turning to the pale faced, chubby boy. 'Now, I _hear_ you have a fondness for a _certain word'._ Potter is actually staring down at Black, a look on his face that says _I told you so_ as his friend attempts to shout with his tongue glued to the roof of his mouth. 'I _also_ hear you called my _best friend_ this _word._ _Furnunculus!'_ At this, the Gryffindor boy yelps as boils begin spouting over every visible bit of skin.

Remus's hands drops to his sides as he gapes from me to Pettigrew. He looks like he doesn't know whether to give me detention, or laugh.

I glare at the boil covered boy who is wailing and slapping at the boils as if this will make them disappear. Black was clambering to his feet and yelling at me with garbled words. I turn my glare to him, so fucking _angry_ at his privileged little look. 'If I _ever_ hear you saying that word _ever_ again, or even _looking_ at Brant in anyway other than _friendly,_ I will sneak into this room whilst your are all sleeping, and I will fucking _bury you'._

With that, I lower my wand and smile brightly at Remus and James. 'Sorry about that!' I grin, stuffing my wand into my robes. 'I must warn you, I would be _very_ careful where I step in this room over the next few days. You never know what might be _slithering about-'_

'You put a fucking _snake_ in our dorm?!' Remus practically yelps, amber eyes wide and horror-struck. Uneasily, he looks to his two suffering friends when I shoot a stern look at him. '... _Never_ mind'.

'And don't bother going to McGonagall, or I'll tell her _all_ about your map, your cloak and the fact that at least _one_ of you'. I shoot a filthy look to the ill looking Pettigrew. 'Has been spreading rumours about the school and using slanderous language. I _think_ that's about it!' Sirius yells something that sounds suspiciously like an insult. 'Did _not_ quite catch that, Black. See you in Potions tomorrow!'

And with that, I turn neatly on my heel and ignore the gaping look Remus was sending my way.

Well, if anything was going to scare him off, it would be _that._

* * *

 _January 5th 1977_

 _9:06 AM_

* * *

'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, huh?'

I blink innocently up at Brant as he plops into the seat next to me, his dark brow cocked judgmentally. 'Don't bloody look at me like that. Even if I _hadn't_ heard the rumours flying about at breakfast about what happened in Gryffindor Tower, the fact that the bloody Marauders are giving you filthy looks is enough proof. Judging by the red patches all over Pettigrew, he was on the receiving end of your boil jinx?'

I snort and wipe my hand across my mouth, attempting to hide my smile. It was true, upon stumbling into Potions after oversleeping through breakfast, Black hadn't once let his glowering gaze leave me until I plopped into my chair at the back of the classroom. Like usual, the four Marauders spread themselves over the two tables to my left. 'They fucking deserved it,' I mutter, pushing my copy of _Advanced Potion Making_ to the far side of the desk. 'It was amazing. I've also managed to convince them there's a snake in their room'.

Brant blinks at me. ' _Is_ there?'

I snort. 'Fuck no'.

He fights a smile as he stares down at me, before turning away. 'Idiot,' sighs Brant, pulling out his own copy and plonking his bag onto the floor. I notice the way in which he avoids looking _anywhere near_ the Marauders. I _also_ don't miss the way his ears are tinged red. 'I love you, Lo. And thank you for...for being so _gallant,_ but you're an idiot. You've started a war now, you know that?'

'For a _very_ good cause,' Edith quips, sliding onto the desk in front of us with Endrew following soon after. 'Well done, Lola. Also, where were you at breakfast, did you oversleep again?' At my guilty look, she merely rolls her eyes and turns back to her desk and begins unpacking her bag. Next to her, Endrew sends me a very proud look. I go back to leaning on my crossed arms on the desk, blinking blearily at the blackboard at the front of the classroom.

'Black, you wanna stop with the stink eye there, mate?'

The most surprising thing of all wasn't that one of my friends was telling Black to stop being a prat, but that it was _Endrew._ Endrew, the dopey quiet one of the group who preferred to stay far away from conflict. I blink and raise my head, peering past Brant's frozen form to glare at the offending Gryffindor. He blinks back at Endrew as Potter rolls his eyes next to him. Pettigrew looks on behind them with a grumpy look, whereas Remus ducks over a piece of parchment, eyes frozen and quill still.

 _I may be hopelessly infatuated with him, but that doesn't change the fact he's a little bitch sometimes._

Edith elbows her brother in the side as Black snaps back quickly. 'I wasn't looking at _you,_ Bandini. More so the nutcase behind you'.

I merely flip him the bird and smile.

' _Leave_ it, Pads,' Potter says tiredly, patting his mate on the shoulder. 'You're both in the wrong, now let it _go_ , alright?' I smile prettily as Black turns away from Potter and glares back at me.

It's dumb. I don't _want_ to fight with him. I wanted to show him he was dick, have some time for reflection and then let it the fuck go.

Turns out Sirius Black wasn't great at letting things go.

'Look, I'm sorry, alright, Zaveri?' snaps Sirius after a second.

Brant, as more people mill into the classroom (Lily Evans looks onto our exchange with such interest that she nearly bumps into a pale Snape), looks coolly over to Sirius Black and gives a little one armed shrug. Remus, still, hasn't bothered to look up from the parchment that he had been staring _hard_ at. 'Apology accepted. You were _hardly_ the worst of it, though'. I want to fucking _kiss_ him for the flippant tone and _sass_ he is giving off.

Black blinks, nods, gives a tight smile, and then turns abruptly to the smaller, chubbier boy sitting behind him and next to Remus. 'Pete, say sorry,' he orders.

The boy in question blinks and pulls an annoyed face, looking from Black to Potter with an almost pained look. There is a very brief pause in which Remus actually looks up from his parchment, handsome face curious, and Potter turns tiredly in his seat and throws me a bored look. I merely cock a brow when he rolls his eyes as if to say _sorry about them._ It freezes, though, as Pettigrew's words. 'I didn't say anything _wrong,_ though. He _is_ a fa-'

Edith and I fly from our seats before the word can even leave Pettigrew's mouth, wands drawn and chests heaving. 'You disgusting waste of _air-'_ Edith practically _screeches._ Heads turn quickly, and I thank fuck Slughorn isn't here yet. Brant grabs my arm and tries to yank me back down as I go through every fucking hex I know to throw at him.

' _Wormtail_!' Potter snaps, an aghast look on his face as he stares at his friend. Even Black looks slightly put-out, his dark brow furrowed his mouth a little agape. Next to Pettigrew, Remus lowers his quill and blinks from me to his friend. He looks...frustrated. 'What the _fuck_ , man?'

' _What_ is going on here?'

Evans. Brilliant. I'm pretty sure she would like nothing more than to see a Marauders thrown under the buss. I voice up quickly, tearing my gaze away from the red faced Pettigrew, to the stern and pretty face of Lily Evans. 'Pettigrew is being a homophobic little shit _again_ -'

'Just _leave_ it,' Brant hisses, tugging on my arm yet again.

Lily looks at me for a moment, arms crossed, and then back to the smaller of the Marauders. Potter has straightened up considerably, and runs his hand through his messy hair a good six times in a row. ' _Detention,_ Peter,' Lily quips, uncrossing her arms. 'I'll inform Professor McGonagall. _Don't_ try and argue. I'm a _Prefect_ and I'm _doing my job'._

'At least _one_ of you is,' I snap, refusing to look in the direction of a certain werewolf. I don't miss his head snap toward me from the corner of my eye, though. _Good. Dick._

Slughorn walks in at that moment, proclaiming that today we would be doing theory rather than practical work. Lily swoops away with a fierce, green-eyed glare in the direction of the four Marauders, and a brief nod in Brant's direction. Edith and I flop quickly back into our seats, steely glares on our faces as we turn away from the Marauders, and they turn away from us.

The atmosphere in the room, after that, was _not_ ideal.

* * *

 **Hello! I want to, as always, say thank you for the reviews! They really are so helpful and in depth, so thank you! I know I'm taking a dangerous route with doing the cliche 'Peter's a dick' thing, but I've really tried to make it the opposite of that throughout the story. Still, I think he would definitely hold some prejudice toward people, considering what he ends up becoming and who he ends up working for. Plus, I really wanted to play on the fact that Lupin had a hard time standing up to the friends he considered himself lucky for having.**

 **I loved writing Lola's bitch fit, and I hope it lived up to your expectations. Thank you again and reviewwww!**


	24. I'm A Fucking Monster

_If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden_ ― **Frances Hodgson Burnett**

* * *

 _January 19th_ _1977_

 _11:45 AM_

* * *

Three weeks.

Three fucking weeks of glares and huffs and avoiding the Marauders.

Well, just under three weeks.

It's hardly a secret within the school that our two cliques were icy toward one another, with how Black sneered and Edith glared. I steered clear of them, despite Potter _begging_ me to just step forward and _talk_ to Pettigrew. After the little Gryffindor rat had stepped toward myself, Edith, Endrew and Brant a week after our Potions confrontation to apologise (and Endrew had practically melted him on the spot with the look he sent Pettigrew) the smallest of the Marauders hadn't tried to talk to us again.

'He wants to say sorry!' Potter had insisted to me, after tracking me down with that stupid Map of his. I sat in the library with Brant, a frown on my face and my arms crossed. 'He didn't mean what he said, Zaveri, honest. I wouldn't even be _friends_ with Pete if he thought like that. He just...he's just fucking dumb, really. That's it. We're the least prejudice group of people, Lola, _you_ know that!'

I did, that was true.

Brant had given Potter a funny look, before sighing. 'I agree with him, Lo. It's gone on long enough. It's been a fucking _week._ Plus, you're like a caged fucking cat with the way you're prowling about the school all _angry._ It's because she misses talking to Lupin, but she won't admit it,' Brant said to Potter, talking as if about a child. I turn and glare at him, face fucking _puce._

Potter had laughed. 'Moony's the same. Kill me for saying anything, but he's still totally pissed at Pads and Wormtail. That Prefect thing you said made him have a fucking meltdown when we got back to the dorm. He's stopped helping Pete with his homework and everything'.

I merely laughed nastily. In reality, I had been going over and over in my head what this meant. _He misses talking to me. Ha. I am likeable. I mean, of course I am._

That had been a week ago, and whilst I had maintained an icy exterior around Potter, on the inside I wished I _could_ just brush it aside. I had seen Black making more of an effort in Potions, from letting Brant walk in first, to allowing us to have the nicer of the cauldrons. Pettigrew had avoided us like the plague. Remus had avoided eye contact with me at _all_ costs. It didn't help that he was talking out more in class, raising his hand every five fucking seconds. It was surprising to even _me_ that I seemed to have a thing for the whole academic thing.

Apparently, I do.

Concerning Black, I can't help but feel like I had partly forgiven him. There was a part of them that hated him for acting so childishly, but another knew it wasn't _him_. Not really. Black was good. He was kind, when he wanted to be. He was just a...a _dick._

So, when I came face to face with him that morning after stepping out of the Common Room, I was stumped.

'I'm sorry,' he said finally, shoulders slouching underneath his _GO GRYFFINDOR!_ Quidditch jumper. 'Look, just, don't talk for two bloody seconds, alright?' I snap my mouth shut and glare at him, aware that Brant and the others were waiting for me at the Quidditch pitch. Today was the Slytherin vs Gryffindor game, and I was aptly sporting a green and silver scarf and a green hat of which my curls kept trying to explode from.

'I _know_ I'm an idiot. I should have been fucking _flattered_ that Zaveri was coming onto me - he's not awful looking, you know. I just...I'm sorry I acted like my family, Lola,' he said, grey eyes pleading at me as he wore that ugly, red jumper. He was... _pleading_. This is...this is quite nice. 'Prongs and Moony have fucking obliterated me with reminding me what an idiot I am. I'll tell the same to Zaveri, if you'll let me bloody approach him. It was _stupid_ of me. Peter...' I bristle. 'Just listen! Pete thinks the same, alright? He's bloody...he's an idiot, okay? He doesn't _mean_ half the shit he says, Lola'.

'He still _said_ it,' I remind harshly, before he can stop me. 'That gross word'.

Sirius sighs and pulls a frustrated look that doesn't look right on his handsome face. 'I _know._ I was...I would _never_ say something like that, but Peter has grown up with a _vile_ mother that _does._ He doesn't think like that - he _doesn't_! He's just so used to hearing it. Y'know, in first year, he accidentally let the M would slip. Didn't even realise _how bad_ the word is - doesn't even think that way. He just grew up with it being...the _norm. Always_ felt kinda bad for him, at least I was able to figure out right from wrong because of my Uncle and cousin. Wormtail didn't _have_ that'.

Oh, for fucks sake. Fucking hell. He's made me _feel_. It's not _fair_ of him to use the tragic backstory, for fucks sake.

I glare at Black for a full minute before I finally talk again. 'I _don't_ forgive him,' I say. 'Brant won't either, not really. He's fucking nicer than I am, though, so he'll make an effort to be pleasant. Not that you lot talk to him much, anyway-'

Sirius smiles in relief, letting his shoulders sag and that pathetic, pleading look fall from his face. 'That's fine! I just...I'm getting kind of sick of Moony's bitching, so can you come to the Quidditch stands with us? We're going with Marlene and that. You'll have to change, though. And Wormtail will be there-'

I frown. 'I never said yes'.

Black snorts. 'Sure, you'll turn down a chance to drool over Moony, right?'

My face flushes. I become icy once again. 'You're treading on thin ice, Black, remember that'.

He grins cheekily. 'So that's a yes, then?'

'...I'm not changing my bloody jumper or hat. And I'll come _only_ for the second half of the game. I promised my friends I would sit with them in the Ravenclaw stands'. That was true. Brant, after all these years, was still desperate to get me to enjoy Quidditch.

'...Whatever. It's your fault if you get filthy looks'. He pauses, eyeing me with an almost unsure look. 'Are we okay then?'

I shrug. 'Probably'.

'So...not yes?' He sucks in a deep breath and throws me a pointed look. 'I _kinda_ feel like you gave me my punishment when you hexed the life out of me in my _own_ room'.

I glower.

'Okay! Merlin. Also, can you just talk to Moony, Lola? He's being all...mopey'. I blink up at his tall form. I knew it had pissed Remus off a little that I had called him out, with the way he had been ducking away from me all the time. But...that bad? 'He's a fragile little peach, is Moony. Just...talk to him, okay?'

I don't answer. I merely eye him, before pushing past his red dressed form and start down the corridor.

'Hey! Wait up!'

* * *

'Are you sure you don't mind?' I ask, squished between Edith and Brant, with Endrew on Edith's left. The Ravenclaws around us were sporting various red scarves and hats, and I was a splash of green that ruined the picture. 'I can stay here. I _really_ don't mind, trust me'.

Brant elbows me in the side. 'You're _allowed_ to be friends with them, Lo'.

I frown and shake my head. 'Since when do _I_ forgive so easily? It feels...wrong. Like I should still be hexing them. Black said he's going to talk to you, give you a proper apology. I don't _care_ if you don't want it, just let him try, okay?'

Brant actually buries his face into his gloved hands. The air was icy that day, the January winds brisk and harsh on our cheeks. 'I've told you I've forgiven him! Pettigrew...not so much, but that's not a loss, is it? I never fucking speak to the little runt, he is _below_ me'. The three of us laugh at him. 'You obviously _want_ to go. I still can't believe you've actually come to a Quidditch game'.

I shrug and pull a face. 'Showing support for my shitty House, I guess'.

'By sitting with anyone _but_ your own House,' cuts in Endrew with a guffaw. 'Nice one, Lo'.

I see Edith stiffen as the tall and floppy haired form of Francis pushes through the mass people sitting in front of us, hardly even noticing his ex-girlfriend as he plops down with his seventh year friends, laughing. Idly, I give her a look and she replies with a small smile. Francis was hardly mentioned at all, most likely because it would bring back memories of the shitty fight of Halloween that we had, all, tried to forget.

'Look, half-time will be over in five minutes. _Go_ to your Gryffindor buddies. It's a fucking miracle you actually _have_ other friends'. I huff out an offended laugh as Brant nudges me in the side, urging me to stand. ' _Go._ We'll meet you after'.

I watch as Endrew and Edith are distracted by a fifth year falling over one of the benches to our right. 'I'm _worried,'_ I cut into Brant quickly, ducking to get him to hear me. 'I think I really offended Remus when I said that Prefect thing. What if I get there and they're all like...what the fuck are you doing here, _snakey?'_ I pull a rather offended look when Brant's laughs in my face.

'Merlin's balls, you're paranoid. Now fucking _go._ And, please, take _off_ that bloody hat. You're _asking_ to he hexed-'

'The hat stays on,' I snap, bidding a quick farewell to my best friends before ducking from the Ravenclaw stand, practically tripping down the stairs to get to the Gryffindor stand before half-time was over. So far, it was 15-10 to Gryffindor, and I have no idea how that happened. When I say I don't know Quidditch, I mean _I don't know Quidditch._

The moment I clamber up the Gryffindor stands, I am faced with a sea of red wearing fucking _nutcases._ They're milling about the stand, drinking butterbeer and singing about some fucking sword that Godric Gryffindor had. I blink back the shock, wondering once again if all Gryffindors were fucking insane. Pushing quickly through the crowd, my stomach twists a little when I see Black and Pettigrew standing in front of the one of the benches at the front of the stand, with Remus sitting next to them with his arms tightly crosses over that orange, frayed jacket of his.

I ignore the deadpan looks that I receive from various Gryffindors as I push through the students, shrugging and pulling a _what ya gonna do_ face when Marlene McKinnon and Lily Evans eye me and both say, ' _Really?'_ at my attire.

Fucking haters.

Finally, I reach the one boy I had been looking for (I mean, were we really believing I was coming to see the other two?) and plonk onto the seat next to him after sending a warning glare to the third year who sat there.

It takes a good ten seconds of me staring at the side of Remus's nice ol' head for him to finally turn away from staring hard at the frosty Quidditch pitch. When he does, he practically fucking blanches and jumps, eyes wide at the sight of me.

'Hel _lo_ ,' I quip. He just continues to blink at me, amber eyes wide underneath a furrowed brow. I roll my eyes. 'Now _you_ say hello back. It's called a _conversation,_ Remus'. Merlin, why is he still crossing his arms over himself like that, like I'm going to try and fucking attack him? With one quick glance over Remus's head, I see Black still engaging in an animated conversation with Pettigrew. Lazily, he throws me a quick wink and a smile.

'What the bloody hell are you _wearing_?'

I look back at Remus and actually _grin._ So he _is_ talking to me. How splendid. I tug at the hem of my green hat. 'Supporting my House. What's wrong with that?'

He, finally, lets his shoulders relax and sends me an exasperated look. 'I sometimes think you _ask_ for trouble'. I grin toothily. _I've missed talking to him._ 'What are you doing here, anyway?'

Letting _that_ slightly hurtful comment slide, I shrug and move a little more toward him to allow a Seventh year to clamber over the bench. Our knees knock. 'I wanted to come over. I spoke to Sirius, decided this feud has gone on long enough. I mean, I don't necessarily think Pettigrew and I will ever be buddies, but if Brant is cool with it then so am I. And I...' I pause, clear my throat, and then look back at him with a forced pleasant smile. 'I'm... _sorry'._

That word always seems to disagree with me.

There is a beat of silence in which Remus stares at me. His mouth twitches. And, for the first time, I notice the splattering of light stubble across his chin and cheeks. _Now you mention it, he hasn't shaved in a while. Funny, how I was the one who told him not to..._ 'That was painful to watch,' he drawls, brow cocking lazily. It is only then that I note _why_ there had been such a tense aura around him when I had come over.

It was the full moon tonight. I hadn't even _remembered._

I shrug and smile sheepishly, pushing my bare hands into the pockets of my black coat. 'I _am_ sorry though. I have slight...anger... _problems._ I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I mean, I know I wouldn't be able to throw detentions out to my friends if _I_ were Prefect'.

I think, for a moment, that it's over. This fight is over and we can all go back to normal, with myself hating Peter just a _little_ bit more. Maybe even throwing a few secret jinxes his way when no one was looking. Because, really, why _would_ this fight be prolonged? Remus and I were friends. _Good_ friends. It would be fucking stupid for him to back track over those months of friendship, right? To go back to stupid, self-hating Remus?

'Maybe we should just...keep things as they are'.

Not that stupid, then.

The words fall out of his mouth with a push. I watch, brow furrowed, as his eyes dart about to the crowd standing around us and his fists clench with his crossed arms. _He can't...he can't be serious, can he?_ But he is. I know this face well - it's the awkward Remus who isn't doing what he wants, but what is expected of him. _What he thinks is right._ ' _That's_ not going to fucking happen,' I quip, voice low and forceful.

He sighs and closes his eyes briefly. 'Lola - I don't want to do this here. It's just better for _you-'_

'Get up,' I order, standing quickly and nearly knocking over a first year behind me. Over a few peoples heads, I see Charlie bouncing excitedly with Jone and Elliot. Huh, Jone was wearing _red._ Little traitor. I look down at Remus, cocking a brow when he just stares up at me with a blank expression. _I don't want to lose him. I really, really don't._ 'Remus, _get up'._

'I'm watching Prongs play'.

'James won't give a fuck-'

 _'Lola-'_

'Please'. And, for maybe the first time with him, I let my shoulders sag and do what Lola Leola _does not do._ I _beg._

Perhaps its this alone that makes him stand slowly, a hard frown on his face as he waves away the curious looks of Black and Pettigrew. The latter looks slightly worried to see me there, apparently having not seen me arrive. I turn swiftly on my heel, hoping that he's still following me as I push through the crowd and start for the rickety, wooden staircase.

The moment my feet hit the cold and sodden ground, the crowds above us erupt into screams and shouts. With a quick glance toward the Quidditch pitch, I see the Gryffindor and Slytherin team making their way toward the centre of the pitch once again. With a sigh and a shiver, I look over my shoulder to Remus and nod in the direction of the grounds. 'C'mon'.

He does, always making sure to stay two feet behind me. I think and think as his heavy footfalls follow me, going over every little detail and, wondering, if I was about to do something really fucking terrible.

When we reach the Black Lake, I turn so suddenly on my heel that Remus nearly walks straight into me. I also _swear_ that I see a ripple of water from the Giant Squid. Face pressed into a confused and torn look, I stare hard at Remus who shifts awkwardly on his feet, hands stuffed into his pockets and shoulders hunched. His waves of floppy, dirty blonde hair blow lightly in the cold wind, and he shivers.

'I-' I cough and he shifts awkwardly yet again, an expectant look on his face. 'I thought we were over this, Remus. We're _friends-'_

' _Are_ we?' he snaps, shoulders slumping as he straightens his back and stares be dead in the eye. I blink, feeling anger boil in me. It dies, though, when he says, 'I don't know if I can be _just_ friends with you, Lola. And I _can't-'_ He swallows and huffs. ' _Don't_ want to be with you'.

I _laugh,_ pushing away the sting. 'Liar'.

He throws his hands up in the air and sighs, apparently beyond frustrated. 'Lola, you don't _understand-'_

I take a step forward and stare hard at him, aware of how stupid I must look in my bright green hat and bundled up scarf. With a grimace, I take a deep breath. 'Your name is Remus John Lupin. Your birthday is the 10th of March. And, with my in depth knowledge of Astronomy, I know that makes you a Pisces, meaning you're empathetic and kind. You have a muggle mum, like me, and a wizard dad'. I shift on my feet and look away from his curious, blank stare. _Edith would be proud - keep going!_ 'I know you like chocolate, that you're a moody twat and that you know muggle Television shows. You like Defence Against the Dark Arts, not only because you're good at it, but because you like the idea of fighting bad because you're just so bloody _good'._ _Where the fuck are you going with this?_

I look back to Remus, to see his arms have fallen to his sides and his amber gaze is burning on me. _He knows. He knows. He knows what I want to say._ 'You have a good sense of humour, and that's coming from _me._ You're one of the nicest, coolest people I've ever met. Still, though, you're a fucking stubborn _idiot._ You...you pile your books in alphabetical order next to your bed because, let's face it, you're a bit of a loser too. Despite your blase attitude about everything, you care a _lot_ about a _lot_ of things'. I breath out deeply and clasp my hands in front of me, chipping away the green nail varnish that paints my thumbnail. 'But...none of that _changes_ just because of...of what you are. You're still _you'._

I watch as his body sags, as if every last bit of air has left him. 'And what am I, Lola?' The dark circles under his eyes, the paleness of his skin, the tenseness in his shoulders. The full moon was taking its toll on him.

I swallow and straighten up and look him dead in the eye. The air seems thick between us in the moments leading up to me speaking. 'You're a werewolf, Remus'. I peer at him, watching his jaw harden and his fists clench at his sides. I speak quickly, desperate for him to hear me. 'I know it's the full moon tonight, and I know it's probably a shitty time for me to be doing this-'

He stares hard at the ground, tall form tense. 'So that's it then? Who have you told?'

His words are brash as he cuts across me, gaze trained on the dewy grass. I don't _mean_ for the words to slip from my mouth but, alas, they do. 'Are you a fucking _idiot_?' I snap, glaring harshly at him. At that, he looks up, surprise written across his face. 'I haven't told _anyone._ I've known since the beginning of October, Remus. I _wanted_ you to tell me - but I know you never will. Remus, I don't _care._ I mean, fuck, I _do._ But not in the way you _think_ I do-'

I start for him, only to have him catch me by my shoulder and push me away. With a tight frown, I tumble back. 'You _should,'_ he says harshly, face contorted into frustration and anger. 'You _should_ care. I'm a fucking _monster,_ Lola-'

I smack him on the arm, not caring if he tried to shove me away again. ' _Don't_ say that-'

'I _knew_ you knew. I just didn't want to _believe_ it. I should have _stayed away_ from you,' He practically whines, tugging at his hair and rubbing his forehead. 'Ever since I saw you with that bloody _book-'_ He cuts himself off and looks at me, a knowing expression falling onto his face. At that, I blush.

'I wanted to understand you more'. I shrug, voice low and embarrassed.

He stares at me, jaw slackening and eyes blank. I think, for a moment, that he's going to laugh at me. Actually fucking _laugh._ Instead, though, he does something _much_ better. He starts forward with one long stride, grabs me by the jaw, and kisses me full on the mouth. It lasts maybe a second, in which his eyelashes flutter against my cheek, until he yanks himself away from me, chest heaving.

'I can't,' he stutters, eyes wide and cheeks flushes.

With that, he turns around and stalks away.

I don't try and stop him.

* * *

 **...I'm just gonna leave that there.**

 **Thanks for the reviews!**


	25. You Aren't Horrendous, Leola

_Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness_ \- **Euripides**

* * *

_January 20th_ _1977_

 _6:00 AM_

* * *

'Have you not slept all bloody night, Leola?'

I jump, both shocked and angry to see Vanity poking her head through the drapes of my bed, her hair perfectly immaculate even after just waking up. There's bags under her eyes though; bags that seem to be perpetually stuck on her face, much like with Lupin. Remus, who had just spent the night as a fucking werewolf, whereas I sat in my room feeling sorry for myself.

'Why the bloody hell do you care, Vanity?' I snap back, perhaps a little more harshly than needed.

She blinks at me, light blue eyes narrowing to slits quickly. 'Because your bloody wand was keeping me awake all night'. Normally, Lola Leola would reply with a wink and a _oh really now._ Sadly, I am not in the mood. And, okay, that's my bad. I was up reading the Astronomy book Remus got me for Christmas most of the night with my wand lit in the darkness. 'And, Merlin, how many times do you think you huffed and sighed last night? A good fifty thousand, maybe? You are _very_ easy to read-'

'Again, I repeat, _why do you care?'_ I'm not in the mood for her shit. After leaving Remus the night before, I skipped lunch and dinner and dove underneath my covers, feeling like a fucking idiot for bombarding him like that on the day of the full moon. _Selfish idiot. Such a Slytherin thing to do. Doing something for your own gain._ I looked fucking horrified. _But he kissed you. But he's so fucking stubborn. He_ ** _hates_** _himself._

She actually pauses for a moment, voice still low as our dorm-mates sleep around us. 'Dumbledore spoke to me yesterday'.

I sigh, still tucked away under my covers with Remus's gift to me balanced on my knee. 'Fascinating, Vanity'. I was being an arsehole, and I was fully aware of that. I was just...so fucking _upset._

'He assured me that, in our House, _you_ were the person to befriend if I were feeling...lonely'. All thoughts of Remus are pushed from my mind as I stare at, aghast. 'Don't look so bloody horrified. I never said I _wanted_ to be your friend, Leola. You're a bloody moron-'

'Good _bye,_ Vanity-'

'No, I-' She huffs and draws the drapes open a little more, still clad in her silly, silk nightie. 'Bloody hell, Leola. Do you know how long it's been since I have spoken to anyone other than a Professor? A _week._ Only my father writes to me. My mother is _repulsed_ that I chose him-'

'You _chose_ to stay with your dad?' I blurt out, blinking in surprise. I would have _never_ guessed that. 'Merlin'.

'You befriended that little mudblood, didn't you?' She jumps when I sneer at her, a tired expression crossing her face. ' _Sorry._ But you did, didn't you? I just...well, in all honesty, you aren't _horrendous,_ Leola'.

...Is this fucking happening? Right now?

'What I am _trying_ to ask is...would it be possible for me to sit with you at breakfast and dinner? With you and that mu...ggleborn boy'. She shrugs and glares at my gaping mouth. 'You will catch _flies_ if you continue with that look, Leola. I have lost every ounce of my reputation, I may as well dive into the deep end. Being so alone all the time is...disconcerting and annoying'.

I continue to gape at her.

'Still, I will _not_ associate myself with those Gryffindor idiots as you do. I would rather _die._ I merely reacquire your company and conversation at dinner times'. She sticks her nose up slightly and huffs out a sigh. 'They are quite idiotic though, don't you think? They're in and out of that hospital wing every bloody _month._ And that _Potter_ is a complete _show-off-'_

 _The Hospital Wing._ Merlin, of _course. That's_ where he must go after every full moon! But...I couldn't go there. I wouldn't want to upset him. Unless he was sleeping...I could just see him for a moment, to see if he was okay...

'I've gotta go,' I pipe up suddenly, throwing my covers off of my form and tripping through the drapes. 'I'll probably miss breakfast, but you can sit at the reject end of the table at dinner. As long as you don't call Jone the M word and don't be _too_ much of a bitch, that is. Take it as my act of charity for the week-'

'Don't call it _charity!'_ Vanity gasps, watching me trip around the room and plonk a cardigan on over my sheep printed pyjama shorts and black t-shirt. Hastily, I trip and fall as I yank my Converse on. 'Where the bloody hell are you going?'

There is an annoyed groan from one of the beds.

'Er, sudden period pains. Gotta go and get a potion from Pomfrey. I'll see you at dinner! Have a good, er, Sunday!' I pause halfway to the door and backtrack, grabbing the present I had gotten _him_ for Christmas. A book titled _Practical Defensive Magic and its Use Against the Dark Arts,_ as well as a fat bar of Honeydukes caramel chocolate, both wrapped together under snowman featured wrapping paper. With that, I practically trip from the room in my haste. _Just a look. A quick look. To see if he's okay. To give him his Christmas present. That's it. I won't upset him. He won't even see me._

'Um, _bye,'_ snaps Vanity, watching me go.

I hurry through the deserted, green lit Common Room and catch the eye of the Giant Squid staring at me through one of the windows. And, I swear to fucking _Merlin,_ I see one of the Merpeople chasing it. Considering it's so early, it doesn't take me long to sneak through the corridors and avoid anyone who might be on patrol. All the while my stomach is flipping. _I'll just dump the book and go. It can be a little reminder to him; a fucking assurance that I don't care what he is._

Thing is, I don't count on all of the Marauders being there too.

I can see Pomfrey sitting in the office of the Hospital Wing, her back turned. It's this reason alone, I'm sure, that Sirius stalks away from the bed they are all grouped around and grabs my arm as I stand, struck, in the doorway.

' _What_ did you say to him?' He snarls, glaring down at me with fierce grey eyes. He shakes me a little and I push him away. 'What the _fuck_ did you say to him, Lola?!' I gape at him, blinking away the shock and thanking fuck when James limps over with a bruised cheekbone and his arm in a sling. I blink hard at him. 'Leave it, Prongs! He _said_ she said something, that she _knew-'_

I peak past the two boys, to the lump that seems to be wrapped tight in the white Hospital Wing blankets just three beds now. Peter sits on the chair to the beds left, face pale and eyes trained on the thee of us. 'I don't-' I stutter, book hanging limply in my hand. I suddenly feel very fucking stupid. 'Is he okay?' I breathe, looking back to Sirius with wide eyes.

Sirius opens his mouth angrily yet again, but James cut across him. 'Pads, she's known for months! Quit it!'

'I told him I knew, yesterday,' I stutter out, looking between the two of them. 'He freaked the fuck out. I _shouldn't_ have said anything - I'm sorry! Is he okay?' I repeat yet again, my voice a shrill whisper. Sirius blanches and James watches me with a hard frown on his handsome face. Behind his glasses, his hazel eyes look over every point of my surely tired looking face.

'You _knew_ she knew?' Sirius snaps, looking accusingly at his best friend.

'Oh, fuck off,' Potter snaps. 'I _thought_ she was going to tell him when he was more _comfortable'._ My stomach twists as he throws me a _look_. 'I didn't...I didn't think he'd react this badly, last night was the worst it's ever _been'._ Slowly, my eyes trail from his cheekbone to his obviously broken arm. _They were there with him when he fucking changed? Are they idiots?!_

'Wait...you didn't...you didn't freak out on him?' Black says slowly, frowning in confusion at me. 'But - with the way he was acting yesterday, I just assumed...' He looks at me with a concerned look. 'Fuck, I'm sorry, Lola. He was... _fuming._ More angry at himself than I'd ever seen him. Said you knew. I just assumed-'

I push past him, suddenly feeling oddly... _desperate_ to see Remus. Neither try to stop me, but I hear Black mutter something to Potter, to which the latter hums at. Despite my terrible appearance, I walk with purpose toward the bed, of which the curtains are half closed. Pettigrew watches me with an unsure, a hesitant look in his gaze. I ignore him, instead stopping dead in my tracks and looking down at the horrible state before me.

He looks awful. Only his arms and head were visible over the covers that are tucked tightly around him, but the scratches and bruises that litter his arms are enough to send my stomach turning in a way that I'm sure it never has before. His face is bruised, his lip split open with a cut and his eyelids fluttering frantically in his sleep. I feel _sick_ just looking at him, the revelation that _this_ is what he goes through every month hitting me like the fucking Killing Curse. Every inch of his skin seems to be glowing with a bruise, a cut, or even a fucking _bite._

'Lots of stuff effect him when he changes,' Potter says lowly, standing behind me now. 'I haven't seen him that bad since fourth year when his mum got ill. He was...he _hurts_ himself, sometimes'.

I drop to the chair by his head, on the other side of the bed to Pettigrew, and continue to stare at Remus with wide eyes and a fast beating heart. I feel _sick._ It astounds me how much the sight...breaks my _heart._ 'This is...he did this to himself because of _me?'_

There is an awkward silence. No one seems to want to voice _yes._

I rub a hand over my mouth quickly, surprising even myself when my throat tightens so suddenly my eyes _burn._ I sit for a moment, just looking at him, worried that if I speak they might know how close to tears I was. _Selfish fucking idiot. Look at what you did to him. You couldn't have just waited, could you? No, you had to be selfish._ 'You were all with him?' I choke out.

A hand rests on my shoulder. I think it's Black.

He clears his throat. 'We, er. Well, you've got to keep it a secret, alright? We...we're unregistered Animagi'. I tear my stare away from Remus, to blink up at Sirius with a slack jaw. 'Er, _yeah_. Moony is pretty obvious I guess. Wormtail is because he becomes a _rat_. Prongs is a stag. I'm a black dog. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs'. He shrugs and smiles uneasily. ' _Surprise_ , I guess. It was the only way we could be with him on the full moon'.

They're really not making it easy for me not to cry.

'Oh,' I say simply, turning back to Remus. 'I really don't care, you know. Do you think he'll believe that?'

'Thing is about Moony, he _hates_ what he is. Cares more about what it'll do to other people than himself. Once he sees _me_ , he'll shit a bloody brick'. James indicates to his broken arm and bruised cheekbones. 'All he cares about is what it could mean for you. I mean...you're different from other people, I guess. He doesn't care about people shunning him, or attacking him for what he is-'

'I'd like to see them fucking try,' I growl, and Pettigrew hums in agreement.

'- _But_ he would care about what it means to people in his life. He thinks he's doing the right thing by cutting you out'. James actually half grins down at me. 'I'm so bloody happy that you know and that you are _not_ letting him do that'.

I frown and sigh. 'Look what me knowing _did'._

 _'_ I can't believe we're witnessing you nearly _crying,'_ Pettigrew pipes up, voice low and disbelieving. I snap my head his way and glare furiously at him. '...Never mind'

As Potter plonks himself onto the bed next to us with a great sigh, I reach forward tentatively and touch one of the many old scars that littler Remus's tense looking face. He breathes out deeply in reply. Hastily, I retract my hand and jump. 'Blimey, you really bloody fancy him, don't you? You fucking better. If you hurt him, I'll end you, Leola'.

I look blandly up at Sirius. 'I could fucking smite you, Black. Shut up'.

James laughs. ' _There_ she is'.

Uneasily, I slide my book onto the table next to him and pat it awkwardly. 'Present. Belated Christmas one. I, er, should I come back later?' I look to James, the apparent voice of reason within the group. 'I don't want to...crowd him'.

Sirius still looks unnerved that I'm so emotional. Dick.

James shrugs with his good arm. 'You _could_. I imagine he'll be kept here a few more hours, now. Normally we take him back to the dorm after Pomfrey has seen him. She's good - the best, really. She picks him up from the Shack after we've left. Didn't ask any questions about this'. He points to his arm. 'He's messed himself up pretty bad. Just...you have to _promise_ to keep this to yourself, Lola. Zaveri and the Bandini's can't know. This is _Moony's_ secret-'

I shake my head. 'I know. I would _never_ '.

He nods.

'Could I sit here for a little?'

Sirius actually rolls his eyes. 'He's going to have a shit fit if he wakes up with you here, but go for it. Just try not to scare him. Anyway, I'm in mighty need of a shower, I don't know about you two. Shall we?' I blink around at the Marauders, only then noting just how ruffled they all look, and Potter looks particularly done in. He grabs for a vial of something on the table and nods.

'Let's. Be easy on him when he wakes up, Lola'.

Sirius squeezes my shoulder. 'Sorry for attacking you when you came in here. I keep expecting the worse, you being a snake and all - joking!'

I shrug. 'It's cool. I probably would have done the same, to be honest'. He smirks and nods, and Potter ruffles his hair tiredly with his free hand. Pettigrew hops from his seat eagerly, throwing me an uneasy nod as he scuttles after his best friends. _Sneaky fucks. I imagine Remus will be pretty pissed to know they left me alone with him._ I look back at the boy in question, gaze softening somewhat.

Bloody hell. Bloody _hell._ I had made a right mess of things, hadn't I? I stand slowly, making sure to be quiet, and tug the curtain surrounding us closed to provide some privacy for the Gryffindor. Soon enough, students would be milling about for their Sunday morning routines, and I did _not_ want to see anyone. Nor, I'm sure, did Remus. Settling back into my seat, I pull my cardigan tighter around myself and begin to regret not wearing trousers.

Oh, _well._

* * *

 _January 20th 1977_

 _10:04 AM_

* * *

Something tickles the inside of my wrist and I start awake, eyes blinking open and the blanket that had been draped over my lap falling silently to the ground. I blink blearily through the sunlight that filters through the large windows of the Hospital Wing, mortified to realise that I must have fallen asleep in the chair. With a quick glance to Remus, I realise exactly what had woken me up.

He's staring at me. The cuts have heeled down to light lines across his face, most likely thanks to Madam Pomfrey's many potions. His hand is outstretched to me, fingers poking lightly at my own. I catch a further glimpse of slowly yellowing bruises, healing far faster than they would without the help of magic. There's a beat of silence as I stare at him, still slouched in my chair.

He looks worried.

'I mean...you've seen better days,' I comment lightly, voice still scratchy from sleep. I wince obviously at my poor attempt at a joke and watch Remus closely, worried that he's going to freak out again. I mean, if he was _able_ to. He looked absolutely exhausted. 'Fucking hell, sorry-'

'Why are you here?' His voice is low and pained, like every word was hurting his throat. I move a little closer, wincing when he moves his hand back to the bed and grimaces. 'Can you get me some water?' He carries on, face colouring. _Why the fuck is he embarrassed?_ I practically fall out of my chair as I grab the empty cup and jug on the side, pull out my wand and mutter, _'Aguamenti!'_

As he sits up, I dump the water on the side and move to help him, becoming far too distressed at his grimacing face. 'Don't-' he starts, to which I snap at him to shut the fuck up and to let me bloody help. I touch him as little as I can, too worried to hurt him. He goes quiet after that, watching me carefully as he sits up and takes the water slowly from my hand. He glugs it slowly at first, then quickly downs the whole glass.

I have a full one pushed into his hands before he can even blink.

'You're being uncharacteristically quiet,' he comments lightly, his voice much smoother sounding now. The blue pyjama top he was wearing didn't hide the fact that upper chest seemed to be dotted with scars and bruises. I wince.

'I don't want to say...say something _wrong,'_ I murmur quietly, watching him closely. 'Yesterday kind of illustrated how often I do that'.

He narrows his gaze at that, placing the water back onto the tabletop slowly. He rests back against his fluffed pillows, jaw tight. 'You didn't do _anything_ wrong yesterday-' I cut him off with a shake of my head and a frustrated sigh.

'I _did._ I shouldn't have bloody _outed_ you like that,' I grumble, rubbing my forehead. 'The others said so too. They said...your transformation was quite bad'. It feels odd, to be talking about him being a werewolf so openly, after so long of keeping it so quiet. He seems to think so too, because at my words his amber gaze leaves mine suddenly. 'Remus, don't-'

'I didn't hurt any of them, did I?'

I snap my mouth shut, unsure if I should tell the truth. 'I...I think James has a broken arm. He was _fine!'_ I add hastily, startled at how quickly his face seems to pale. 'They're all fine! _Please_ don't look so bloody upset, Remus-'

'You don't know what you're talking about'. He says it harshly, more harshly than I have ever heard him speak before.

I swallow and force myself to speak with clarity. _Don't say anything fucking stupid._ 'I probably don't, no. I don't know much about anything. But I know people - I've been surrounded by the shittiest people for six years. You're not one of the, dude. Don't look at me like that. You're _not_ getting rid of me, not now that I know the reason why you were shutting yourself off. I mean, if you want me gone I'll _go._ But...I don't _want_ to'.

I feel so fucking _open._

He stares at me, brow furrowed. Feeling dumb, I edge to the edge of my seat slowly and cough awkwardly. With a clammy hand, I reach for his scarred fingers and link them with mine. After a moment of staring at our intertwined hands, Remus tightens his grip on me. My heart thuds in relief. I did _not_ enjoy being rejected. 'I'm not _safe,'_ he mutters angrily. 'I'm not an easy person to be friends with, let alone...' He trails off and shakes his head.

I shrug. 'Let's worry about that later. I just...I need to be _sure_ that you know how fucking okay I am with this. You can talk to me about _anything,_ you know that? Even if it's bloody... _fleas-'_

He snorts suddenly, and I grin. The relief that floods through me is like warm hot chocolate.

'You're the oddest person I know, Lola Leola. And it's _Padfoot_ who gets the fleas, not me'. He looks up at me suddenly, a questioning look on his face. _He really is quite lovely looking,_ I think. My chest feels all...fluttery. I smile lightly and roll my eyes, hand still clasped in his. 'They told you about that, then. Now you understand those bloody nicknames Prongs made up'.

I snort. 'I should have figured it was him'. There's a pause, in which I watch him slowly sit up straighter. 'Can I ask you a question?' He nods, eyebrows raised and blinking slowly. 'When were you...bitten?'

He pauses, thinking, and then says, 'I was four'. The horror curls tightly in my stomach, and it must show on my face. 'Let's, er, let's not talk about that now-'

'Yes, yes, of course!' He pulls a funny face, as if he was fighting a great laugh whilst also trying to look morose. ' _What?'_ I snap, indignant and self-conscious. He just shakes his head and I tighten my hold on our interlocked fingers, feeling a little thrill at the touch. My bare legs poke out from beneath my baggy, dark cardigan and my dirty Converse seem out of place in the squeaky clean Hospital Wing.

'You're just...you're just _funny,'_ he rasps, clearing his throat. 'Slytherin Ice-Queen and all that-'

'You too,' I snipe, smirking. 'I thought you were an arrogant dick. I was half right'.

'Lovely'. He pauses and looks down at our fingers. His larger, darker hand wove easily through my smaller, paler fingers. 'Thank you,' he mutters quietly, still looking down at our hands. 'For still treating me the same. For still being... _you_ '. He looks up at me and half smiles. 'By that, I mean a sarcastic _Slytherin'._

I snort and lean forward, seeking out his gaze. 'I'm not going to go easy on you _now._ No special treatment here, Lupin, trust _that'._

'Oh,' he says. 'I do'.

At that moment, Madam Pomfrey comes bursting out of her office, a scowl on her plump face and her hands planted on her hips. 'No _canoodling!'_ she snaps. 'I let you stay because you were sleeping, Miss Leola. Now, unless you have arrived with another _cracked skull-'_ I wince. '-I suggest you go about your day and let Mister Lupin have his potions! Go on, now! He'll be discharged by noon!'

I shrug and roll my eyes at the woman, to which she gives me a wide eyed, reprimanding stare. 'Yes, _Madam,'_ I drawl, throwing Lupin a look. 'I'll...see you later?'

He stares for a moment. Finally, he seems to come to a decision. 'Sit with us at dinner?'

I throw the woman a look that say _do a girl a favour._ Pomfrey rolls her eyes and throws her hands up in the air, before darting over to the potion store and loudly sorting through the clanking bottles. _That's a gal._ 'You sure?' I ask. 'Just because...I _know..._ it doesn't mean you have to-'

'Merlin, now you're _self-conscious?_ You're freaking me out, Leola'.

He grins up at me, split lip healing some and cheeks a little more coloured. Even with his hair a complete mess, his cheeks dotted with pink scars and his collarbones poking out from his baggy sleep shirt, I can't help but think that Remus Lupin is the best thing I've ever seen. And fuck it, I'm an emotional, corny mess, but who the fuck cares?

'Fuck you, Lupin,' I grin back.

* * *

 **I am FULL OF FEELS. I felt it was time to move them to the next stage of their relationship. I managed to write this chapter in between seeing my friends before going back home from Uni, and I am pumped. I feel like even though Remus is playing the okay we're cool thing, he totally isn't. I always had this feeling he kind of gets caught in the moment, then freaks out more and more later? Idk.**

 **Thank you for the reviews! Over 200! I love you guys, honestly. Also my tumblr is qarlgrimes, follow me!**


	26. You're Fucking Beautiful

_I can find something beautiful in everyone_ \- **Amber Rose**

* * *

 _January 20th_ _1977_

 _4:56 PM_

* * *

So, I pretty much slept all day.

A pretty unexciting end to an otherwise exciting morning.

I find Vanity quickly before dinner, practically tumbling out of the dorm and down the stairs in a pair of the jeans my mum had got me for Christmas and a v-neck jumper. I even combed my hair. Now _that_ shows that I'm actually trying with my appearance. She's sitting on the sofa when I find her, a book balanced on her lap and her shoulders hunched in a familiar way. _Yeah, that didn't work when I tried it with you in first and second year. It doesn't hide you from the bullies._

'Oi'. I poke her face as I lean over the back of the sofa, grinning when she jumps and glares haughtily at me. 'Hello, sunshine'.

' _What?'_

'You're reading an Ancient Runes book. Merlin, you're boring,' I laugh, folding my arms and, trying, to show that I am _joking._

'You're... _chirpy._ Where did you run off to this morning? You _never_ leave the dorm that early'. She rolls her eyes when I pull a face. 'We've shared a dorm for nearly six years, Leola. I notice things. You being lazy is one of them'.

'I'm _allowed_ to be happy, Vanity. We _have_ lived together a long time. I wonder if we've synced without noticing? Hey, you wanna partner up in Potions tomorrow? I can chuck Brant in the direction of this Ravenclaw girl who's always giving him the _fuck me_ eyes-'

'You are so _crude-'_

'Is that a _yes?'_

She glares over her shoulder, skin annoyingly fucking _flawless_ and blue eyes lined with thick dark lashes. Was she fucking made in a muggle _laboratory?_ 'That's a _yes._ I'm quite tired of being paired with whoever is left over in the class. Th-' She swallows and grimaces. ' _Thank you'._

 _'Holy shit,'_ I breathe, staring wide eyed at her.

'Oh, shut up'.

'Sorry...that was just _really_ weird-' I cough when she slams her book shut. 'How about we walk to dinner together, huh?' She looks at me with an distrusting gaze, to which I roll my eyes and pull away from the couch. 'Come if you're _coming,_ Vanity. I'm not going to wait for you-'

'I am _coming._ Why are you always in such a _hurry? That's_ the reason you're always tripping over yourself'.

Even in the short walk to the Great Hall, I find that Emma Vanity bitches and moans more than any person I have _ever_ met. She moans about me walking too fast, about the state of the stone floors of the castle, and _especially_ about the fact that I was forcing her to sit with some _weedy little first year. '_ Would you rather sit alone in the middle of the table, where you're far more likely to be on the receiving end of Bulstrode's snide comments? No? Then shut up, Vanity. Jone is my buddy too'.

She merely huffs in reply and walks airily into the Great Hall with me clunking along at her side. How was she so fucking _elegant?_ _And_ she was pretty tall, like me. How could you be _tall and elegant?_ Life was fucking unfair.

I only remember I was supposed to sit with the bloody Marauders when Black throws me a confused and put-out look as I settle at my usual end of the Slytherin table, this time with Emma Vanity on my left and Jone already sitting opposite me. I watch Sirius saying something to Lupin, who ducks his head in reply. James and Peter quickly dive across the table, passing pumpkin juice and food to their friend. _Oh, bloody hell. It probably looks quite bad that I've ditched him...Why are you so stupid, Leola?_

'Oi, Lola'.

I look to Jone, whose dark eyes are narrowed to slits as he looks from me to the haughty looking Vanity. The latter is spooning salad onto her golden plate as the Slytherins chat and laugh around us. 'Oh, what?' I ask, only half-listening to him. _Bugger. He's going to think I've changed my mind._ 'You got a piece of paper and a quill on you?' I ask Vanity.

She glowers for only a moment, before slowly placing her fork onto her plate and leaning slowly down, lithe hand disappearing into her small bag.

'Why is _she_ here?' asks Jone, dark gaze sliding once again to Vanity.

'Because she wanted to sit with us, Jone,' I reply calmly, snatching the quill and parchment from Vanity's hands. 'Thank you. Jone, stop bloody _staring_. Emma Vanity, this is Jone Chang. We're going to sit with each other at breakfast and dinner from now on, because everyone in our House hates us. Is that _okay_ with everyone?' Jone rolls his eyes. Vanity pops a cherry tomato into her mouth and cocks a brow. 'Good'.

I write the message sloppily on the torn piece of parchment, hasty to get it over to the boys quickly. 'What are you _doing?'_ Vanity whines, trying to get a peak. I glare, she huffs. _Not being a dick, sorry. Forgot Vanity wanted to join me for dinner at the Pathetic End of the table. I'll explain later. It's kind of weird. I'm trying to be nice. Say nothing to that, Black. L.L._ With that, I fold the parchment into a tiny little triangle, raise my wand and give a little flick.

I mean, it wasn't exactly _supposed_ to fly across the Great Hall at such a speed that I could hear Remus's gruff yelp of, ' _Ow!'_ from where I sat when it smacked into the back of his head. But, well, it _did_. Whoops. I watch his back as he unfolds it, and his shoulder move with a laugh. I sigh in relief, turning away as he throws the parchment toward James. _All good._ With one look toward Brant's questioning gaze from the Ravenclaw table , I give him a _look. I'll tell you later._ He nods. _Sounds good._

See? That was _far_ easier.

'Merlin, you're not courting _Lupin,_ are you?' Vanity practically _spits_ out, a leaf of wet lettuce halfway to her mouth. I turn toward her with a withering look, as Jone snorts and tears his eyes away from his copy of _Huckleberry Finn._

'She is, but she's won't tell the truth,' Jone supplies calmly.

I glare between the two, flabbergasted. _I have made a terrible mistake._ 'Um, no I am not? And I am not enjoying _this'._ I wave between the two of them with a pointed look. 'Just _no'._

Vanity raises her brow, going calmly back to munching on her salad. Jone, in return, casts his eyes back to the pages of his weathered book. I nod and reach for the bowl of salad myself, scooping it onto my plate generously.

'She _is_ ,' Jone mutters.

Vanity huffs a laugh into her palm.

'Oh, bugger off, you two!'

There's another beat of silence, and I watch from the corner of my eye as Vanity fights a smile and Jone returns coolly to reading his book and eating his chicken. The smile stays plastered on Vanity's face for a few seconds longer; only a small one, mind you. Pretty pathetic, really. I'm surprised it wasn't cracking that marble face of hers in half. 'Who the fuck says _courting,_ anyway?' I mumble finally.

Jone chokes on his chicken.

'Sod off, Leola'.

We talk sparingly after that, talking only of homework and assignments. Vanity briefly mentions that she's heard from her father that they might fire our most recent DADA Professor, Idlington, on the grounds that he didn't have the right N.E.W.T grades to continue to teaching. 'They're going to keep him until the end of the year, though,' she says. 'I swear, that job is _cursed'._

I roll my eyes.

When dinner finishes, we decidedly go our separate ways. Jone hurries over the Gryffindor table to see my brother and Elliot, whereas Vanity stands gracefully and announces she's going back to the dorm. 'I'll assume it's okay for me to join you tomorrow, as well?' she says, avoiding my gaze as I munch my salad slowly and gaze up at her.

I pause for a cruel amount of time. 'Yeah, whatever,' I chuckle. 'You're _allowed'._

She tilts her head, purses her lips and then turns swiftly away from me, her white button up shirt and dark flared trousers sticking immaculately to her body. _Well, goodbye then._ I finish up my salad quickly and move to the Ravenclaw table, and I've hardly even sat down beside Edith before she's grabbing my hand and insisting to know whether Vanity had cast the Imperius Curse on me.

'I am being _nice,'_ I snap back, as Brant and Endrew stare worriedly at me. Edith looks momentarily proud, her grip on me slackening. 'Anyway, sorry about yesterday-'

'When you _undoubtedly_ ditched us to spend time with your Marauder buddies all afternoon?' Endrew snipes, mock glaring from his place opposite me and beside Brant. 'It's cool, I'm only joking. Brant and I spent most of the afternoon and evening going over our Herbology essays, and Edith hung out with that flouncy fifth year-'

'His name is Gilderoy and he is _nice,'_ snipes Edith.

I catch Brant's eye. _Gay,_ he mouths, giving me a knowing nod. I choke on a laugh. 'Sounds fascinating. Hey, I've promise Vanity I'll partner up with her in Potions - don't look at me like that, douchebag! I might actually be able to change her into a normal, nice, functioning witch! She even _laughed_ at something Jone said then, and he's a muggleborn!' A Ravenclaw from down the table throws me a dirty look. I blanch. 'No, I didn't mean it like _that_ -'

Endrew ignores me. 'You want to turn her into a normal, nice, functioning witch? Wouldn't _you_ have to be one, then?' Edith giggles.

'So you're _ditching_ me tomorrow?' Brant breathes, shaking his head in mock surprise. 'No _loyalty_ , you snakes-'

'You can partner with that fit Ravenclaw. Her'. I nod down the table to said beautiful blonde, who was chatting happily with her group of friends. _How_ did I not know her bloody name?

Brant pulls a face that says _well, good point._ 'I am shockingly okay with that,' he grins. After a moment, he peers at me. 'So, you're all good with the Marauders now? You seem...very _happy_ today-'

'She _does,_ doesn't she?' Edith quips, trying to catch my eye.

'Did you _bone_ Lupin?' Endrew asks slyly.

'Yes, we are _okay._ Perhaps not myself and Pettigrew the Prick, but all _good._ And no, sadly, I have not'. _I'm just super happy that he's okay with me knowing he's a fucking werewolf. Normal stuff like that, you know?_ 'I am attempting to...' I swallow my words, close my eyes, and try again. 'I think I want to... _date_ him'.

Edith practically chokes on her own _breath,_ she gasps so fucking _loudly._ A few people from neighbouring tables look on with worry, including James Potter. 'Merlin, Edith, calm the fuck down,' Brant snaps, hand held to his heart. 'I thought you were _dying'._

'I'm just _happy,'_ she grins, clasping her hands. 'You're looking for a _relationship,_ Lola-'

'Okay. Nope. Moving on. I wish I had _never_ said anything,' I cut over her babbling, holding my hands up to silence her. 'Now, Brant, I recently had an idea that I _think_ you might enjoy. Weed _brownies-'_

'Yes,' he answers immediately. 'Next weekend. Picnic in the kitchens?'

'You read my mind. You two?'

'Duh,' mumbles Endrew.

'I suppose,' supplies Edith. ' _Only_ if you'll let me read all your palms'.

'Deal,' Brant nods.

'I'm starting to regret ever showing you that Divination book I found in dads study,' Endrew grumbles, shoving a mouthful of green beans into his mouth. 'You're a woman possessed'.

'She's _mystical,'_ I add, waving my fingers. Brant cracks a grin. 'Sorry to cut this short, but I can see Potter making the eyes at me to get out of here. I'll see you all tomorrow in Potions?' I add, clambering over the bench and looking at each of them. Brant salutes me goodbye, whilst Edith and Endrew mimic each others farewells. 'Dandy. Bye, guys'.

I don't miss Edith's muttering of, 'She's oddly... _chirpy'._

Why the fuck does everyone keep saying that?

James throws me an exasperated look that says _finally_ when I finally make for the exit to the Great Hall, nodding to his friends to stand also. Sirius waves for him to go ahead, I note, as he continues to converse with a pretty, dark haired seventh year. James merely pats him on the back whilst Pettigrew gives a small chuckle. I glower. _Little shit._ I brush past the Hufflepuff table, but not before a light and airy voice behind me says, 'Miss Leola'.

 _Oh, bloody hell. What have I done now?_

I turn, eyes wide and mouth clamped shut. 'Hello, Headmaster'. Dumbledore stands before me in all of his blue, periwinkle robes and half-moon spectacles. With twinkling blue eyes, he gives me a small smile above a _far_ to long beard. How the fuck did he reach me so quickly? I can't exactly imagine him _running_ across the Great Hall.

'I only want a moment of your time, I assure you,' he says, that bloody Mona Lisa smile still sitting happily across his face. 'I see your friends are waiting for you. James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Curious, of course. But, I suppose, not so curious at all'. He looks away from the group of boys that were surely waiting for me at the entrance to the Hall, eyes still twinkling.

'Erm, _yes,'_ I say, wondering what the fuck he was going on about.

'I would merely, Miss Leola, like to commend you on allowing Miss Vanity to sit with you,' he rasps, leaning forward ever so slightly. With a knowing glint behind his glasses, he adds, 'I understand it is hard to welcome, shall we say _past enemies,_ to ones table'.

My face fucking _flushes._ 'Oh, it was, er. Well, _nothing,_ really'.

He leans back and watches me, ever-pleasant and calm. 'I am sure some would say it was _everything,_ Miss Leola'. I don't really have anything to say to that, so I just stare back, mouth snapping shut. 'I will let you go now, of course. Be sure to remind Mister Lupin that he is on Prefect duty this evening, won't you?' He smiles once again, before bidding me farewell and starting once again for the teachers table.

By the time I reach the Marauders, my cheeks feel slightly less warm. They stand to the side of the entrance, curious gazes planted on me as I approach them. 'Don't even _ask_ ,' I tell the three of them. 'Is Sirius working his moves?' I glance away them, to the boy in question.

'Attempting to, anyway,' Remus drawls. I turn to him, half-grinning. Merlin, he looks _better._ His cheeks have a little colour to them, and the pink scars that lines his face had faded to almost nothing. Though I knew werewolf scars were permanent, no matter what magic was worked on them, I supposed the severity of the wound depended on how long they stay. I eye the fewer thicker, deeper scars lining his jaw and cheek. How much must _they_ have hurt?

'C'mon,' James says, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans and jutting his pointed chin toward the outside corridor. 'You're coming to our dorm for a bit'. I shrug and nod, too tired to even attempt with arguing. Despite the fact that I had slept most of the day, I was knackered. Pettigrew sticks by James's side, voicing up about the fact that Sirius had stolen his crush _again._

'You fancy _everyone,_ Wormtail,' Remus remarks plainly, turning to walk with me.

I wait for a moment, until James and Peter are fully immersed in their conversation, before nudging Lupin lightly in the side. 'Sorry I didn't eat with you,' I say, blinking up at him as he turns to look down at me. 'You look much better, you know'.

He cocks a brow and grins, looking down at his feet. 'I always look worse in the morning. Moony was pretty savage last night, anyway, but I'm sure you were filled in on that'. He half shrugs and looks back at me. 'James's arm is okay now, anyway. Skele-Gro is pretty painful, though. He was bitching all afternoon whilst I was trying to sleep'.

I snort. 'What a princess'.

He looks at me again, mouth puckered into a frown. 'You haven't run of screaming yet, then'.

I roll my eyes, ending with a grin his way. 'Sorry to disappoint, _idiot_. I'm sure there are other ways you can make me scream,' I say lowly, flashing him a smirk when he practically chokes on air.

His jaw tenses as he shakes his head, recovering quickly and narrowing his amber eyes. 'Only _you_ would be hitting on me after just finding out I'm a bloody _werewolf_ ,' he mutters, looking over his shoulder momentarily.

I huff. 'I've known since October, remember?'

'...Oh, yeah'.

'Idiot'.

I elbow him hard, again. The password to their Common Room is _mandrake,_ a far less disgusting one that _my_ current one. _Basilisk._ Most likely referring to the gross, mythical giant snake that Slytherin used to play fetch with. Fucking weirdo. Potter clambers through first, followed by Pettigrew. There's an awkward moment in which I wave Remus to go through, but he merely glowers at me and says, 'Let me be a bloody gentleman, will you? _Go'._

I snort out a laugh and clamber into the red draped Common Room, hurrying after the other two Marauders. The Common Room was fairly quiet, aside from a few others who had left dinner early. For once, no one throws me a curious look. _Must be getting used to me being here._ Upon entering the Marauders dorm, I kick off my shoes and almost fucking _shit myself_ when a bright flash of light _bangs_ from underneath Black's bed, where my shoe disappeared to.

'What the _fuck?!'_ I yelp, voice horrifyingly high as I jump back into Remus's chest. He chuckles a low chuckle and grabs my shoulders to steady me, as Pettigrew and James openly _laugh_ at me.

'That's _your_ fault,' James points out idly, dropping onto his bed and kicking off his shoes. Aside from Sirius and Remus's beds, the others were messy, draped with clothes and underwear. _Lovely._

'They're traps for that that bloody _snake,'_ Pettigrew grumbles, reaching into his bedside table and yanking out, to my utter delight, what look to be a bag of weed and some papers. _Oh, jolly. He's a dick, but yay._ 'We're guessing it must have _slithered_ out'.

I blink for a moment, drawing myself away from Remus as he closes and locks the door behind us. _Snake? What?_ Suddenly, I remember what I had threatened them with, and burst out laughing, my hands flying to mouth as snort and laugh. 'Oh!' I gasp, realisation dawning. I continue to laugh as James pauses in untying his shoe laces and Remus mutters something behind me. 'Oh, I _forgot_ about that! I was...I was totally fucking with you guys. Oh, man. There _was_ no snake'.

There is a beat of silence.

'We set up traps under each of our beds,' James says slowly, dropping his shoes to the floor and staring at me with a blank expression. 'Do you know how long that took us?'

'...A while?' I supply, eyes watering as I fight my laughter.

'Padfoot is going to bloody kill you,' Remus says, walking past me and flopping onto his bed. ' _Actually_ kill you. He hates snakes. He couldn't sleep for four days after you said that. That's...I mean, that _is_ pretty brilliant'.

Pettigrew looks like it is the opposite of brilliant as he stares at me, mouth agape and full of chocolate.

'Close your mouth, Wormtail,' James quips. 'And get rolling'.

I purposely walk to Remus's bed and perch on the end of it, by his feet, and ignore the rolling of Potter's hazel eyes. 'So,' he starts, watching Remus as he rubs his eyes tiredly. 'You know about Moony's furry little problem'.

I turn to look at Remus, brow quirked. 'They don't _really_ call it that'.

He folds his arms behind his head and looks at me with a deadpan expression. 'They really do. Everyone in our House seems to think I have a rabid rabbit, or something. Lily is always asking if I need advice on how to _tame_ it. Says she had a litter growing up'. He pulls a baffled expression and I snort.

'She's so _nice,'_ James breathes. 'She spoke to me and dinner, you know, Lola. Even asked what was wrong with my arm earlier. She _cares'._ The other two loudly groan in reply, to which I can't help but laugh at. 'She _does'._

'I'm sure she does, James,' I reply calmly, leaning back with my hands planted on Remus's mattress. Hyper-aware of his presence, I feel the light pressure of his toes pressing against the small of my back. In return, I fight a smile. James lumbers over the bathroom, proclaiming that he needs a _piss,_ and Pettigrew busily goes about rolling a joint that _stinks._

I turn to Remus, to find him already looking at me. 'Do you feel shitty?' I inquire, genuinely interested. The book always said the recovery was dependant on what the transformation was like. 'You seem more...tired that you usually do the day after'.

He blinks slowly. 'It's kind of creepy you know that,' He remarks in mock-seriousness, then cracks a half-grin. 'And I'm a little tired and achy, yeah. It's to be expected'. He glances away, and I know then he's lying. He's likely a lot more than _achy._

'Sod off,' I laugh, slapping the bottom of his socked feet. As per-usual, they're covered in holes. 'I should have got you new socks for Christmas,' I murmur, poking one of the holes with a frown.

'Oh, fuck. The present,' he sits up quickly, eye level with me and colour blossoming across his cheeks. 'I forgot to say thank you'. He pauses, winces and then grins. ' _Thank_ you. I've wanted that book for _ages_ '.

I snort. 'You're welcome, Remus'.

'Done!' shouts Pettigrew, just as James swings open the bathroom door with a grin and a flourish. 'Good roll, too, if I do say so myself'. I turn, a half-glare on my face that I try to hide. Hey, at least I don't voice the fact that Brant could roll one _waaaay_ better than that.

See? I'm _trying_

* * *

 _January 20th 1977_

 _6:24 PM_

* * *

'Can you fuck off, please?' I snap, which all in all isn't very effective because I'm fighting a smile at how much Potter is laughing at me. We're sitting in a circle, with James and Pettigrew leaning against one bed, and Remus and I the other. I am _far_ too attracted to the way Remus looks smoking, too. Like, what the fuck, right? Anyway, he insisted he was okay to smoke, proclaiming that it would help him relax.

'You are born,' James reiterates, coughing on his drag and eyes as red as the devils dick. 'On _Valentines Day._ You. _You'._ Remus lets out a short laugh next to me, and I whack him on the knee.

'It's not that _funny_ '.

Pettigrew giggles. 'It _is'._ Fuck off, _rat._

'It is,' agrees Remus, smiling down at me with red-rimmed eyes. 'Everything about you seems to go against what you _should_ _be like._ Valentines Day. That's ridiculous. You're the worst Slytherin ever'.

'So I've been told,' I grumble, leaning over the take the joint Potter passes me.

James is practically throwing up he's laughing so hard at this point. Peter, on the other hand, is inhaling his chocolate. I turn to Remus and shove the joint his way. 'I think it's _cool_ my birthday is then,' I defend moodily.

'I'm sure you do,' he smirks, taking the joint and taking a short drag, eyes trained on my own. I'm 100% he doesn't miss the way I stutter on my breath, because his eyes darken and the smoke falls from his mouth his a gush.

The door clicks and slams open, revealing a smarmy looking Sirius Black. 'Guess who got some arse!' I grimace, whilst Peter whoops. 'Oh, fuck, Lola-' He sniffs all of a sudden and swings the door shut with a glare. 'Well, if I knew you were _smoking_ I would have fobbed off...what's-her-name. It smells like a _drug den_ in here-'

Lupin holds out the joint with a look that says _you're a fucking idiot._

'Who was the girl?' I inquire, drawing my legs to my chest as Sirius slips his black shoes off and shrugs his jacket from his form. 'Was it the dark haired girl? I think Endrew copped off with her last year'.

'Her name is _Lee Sewell,'_ interjects Pettigrew moodily.

Black shrugs. 'Shit, yeah. Sorry, Pete'.

I resist a smirk.

'Did it in a _broom cupboard,'_ Sirius brags, plopping on the floor between James and I. ' _Fantastic_ , it was, Pass the roll, will you?'

Pettigrew huffs.

'Better than _Marlene?'_ Potter coos, rolling red eyes and fidgeting with his feet. I honestly could say with confidence that I _loved_ James Potter when he was high. He was such a fucking...dork.

Black takes a long drag and smiles dreamily. 'Marlene can do things _no_ other woman can - no, I can't _talk_ about this with her here!' He yelps, colour actually _rising to his cheeks._ 'It feels _weird_!'

'What?' I laugh. 'Why _not?'_

'Because you _are_ a girl!'

The smile drops from my face, but due to my high state it still twitches there as I stare at black in horror. 'I'm a... _what_?' Remus snorts loudly next to me, and the grin splashes across my face at the sound.

'You're a fucking loser when you're high,' Black snaps, passing the joint over the circle to Pettigrew. 'And _don't_ encourage her'. He waves a finger in Remus's direction and, upon turning to him with a grin, I see him blinking blandly back at Sirius. Very slowly, he flips him the bird with a look of utter seriousness on his face.

I cross my legs and smile serenely. 'You know, I think Sewell gave Endrew the clap when he was seeing her'. I burst out laughing when Sirius practically chokes on his own spit, hands flying to his crotch in horror as he whips his head toward me. 'Oh my God, I'm _joking._ Don't _cry!'_

Potter is practically on the floor at this point, tears streaming down his face. Sirius tells me very politely to go and fuck myself. 'Moony, _please_ keep her around,' James pants.

'I'm not a _dog,'_ I cackle out.

'No, I am,' Black says, and Pettigrew cracks a high laugh. Remus merely huffs and rolls his eyes. ' _You_ are a bitch,' Sirius quips with a cheeky grin. 'And _very_ high. Did Wormtail roll the joint? It's packed'. At Pettigrew's smug smile (I barely contain a grimace), Sirius snorts. 'Of course it is'. I ignore the conversation as it turns toward Wormtail, who was quietly sullen at learning Black had banged his crush, I wobble to my feet and announce I need to pee. I do _not_ miss the way Remus's hand graze my back as I stand and, apparently, neither does Potter.

'Whipped,' he coughs.

I ignore them, but smile secretly as I close the bathroom door and hear Remus snap, ' _You_ can't talk, Prongs'. The bathroom is a fucking tip, which is always delightful. I grimace and tiptoe around the balled up rolls of toilet paper and grimace at the mysterious toothpaste stains splattered against the mirror. I only realise I've been staring at my red eyes and frizzy hair for a good minute when I hear a loud laugh from the boys. Hastily, I begin peeing and roll my eyes when I'm forced to _accio_ the toilet paper from the other end of the bathroom.

By the time I've washed my hands and stepped back onto the lush, red carpet of their dorm, I'm hurrying over to where Pettigrew, Sirius and James are grouped around the open doorway with red eyes and slack jaws. Remus stands by his bed, wand in hand for some odd reason. 'Where are you going?' I ask, oddly worried. I get so _weird_ when I'm high.

'Kitchens. Hungry,' Potter practically grunts, holding the door open as Pettigrew slides away from me through the open doorway. Sirius pats me on the head with a wink, whilst Potter fucking _slithers_ away as he closes the door and mouths a _stay here_ in an incredibly creepy manner.

I blink after them, confused and stoned.

Turning to Remus, I am practically smacked in the face with the sight of him standing there with his socked feet pressed against the carpet and his jacket discarded onto his bed. I'm not entirely sure why the sight of him in white t-shirts continues to ruin me, but the way it clings to his ever slim form makes my blood run _warm._ It's also not exactly a secret among my friends that, sometimes, I get _horny_ when I'm high. Brant, back in the days of our hormonal fourth year, had been on the receiving end of many of my desperate kisses after passing around a joint.

Remus blinks at me, and _why_ is the sight of him with his eyes hazy and hair a mess such a fucking _lovely sight._ 'Stop looking at me like that,' he says, voice a tense waver in the sudden silence of the every-so-slightly ruffled looking room.

Words have a habit of forcing their way out of my mouth without my consent when I'm stoned, and that moment is no exception. 'Sorry. You're just looking fucking _fit_ right now'.

I blink.

He blinks.

Then, suddenly, he's dropping his wand to the floor carelessly and stalking toward me with dark brown eyes and a tense jaw. I haven't even a moment to yelp before he's slamming me against the door and pressing his mouth to mine. He presses himself against me with a sureness that hadn't been there before, and it literally _takes my breath away_. _Yes, yes, yes._ I almost purr when his warm fingers curl around the hem of my jumper, yanking it up and throwing it aside without a moments hesitance. I arch against him, never having felt _this much of him._ Fucking hell, every nerve feels like it's... _glittering. This_ is why I like weed.

Remus breathes, face flushed as he looks down at me clad in only my black bra. 'You're fucking _beautiful_ ,' he murmurs. I almost fall over. _No one_ had ever said that to me before. Never like _that._ Not with such a fucking rough sounding voice and eyes that dark and calloused fingers gripping my bare waist. I feel like I'm going to _die_ from how fucking turned on I am.

I grab a fistful of his hair and pull his mouth down to mine again, lips moving against his almost desperately. He tastes of smoke and pumpkin juice all rolled into one. I press firmly against him, desperate to feel every inch of him against me. 'You shouldn't,' I gasp, pulling away from him and breathing in his breath. ' _Exert_ yourself-'

He blinks at me like I'm mental, more undone that I have ever seen him. 'I could be _dead_ and I wouldn't care,' he shoots back, lips wet and cheeks flushed.

' _Ew_ ,' I laugh and grin.

He kisses me again, moving in step with me as I push him toward his bed and fall lightly on top of him when the backs of his knees hit the bed frame. I crawl on top of him, ever so lightly _apprehensive_ as I sit above him, topless and flushed. He grins up at me, scars stretching, and suddenly energy zooms within me. I want to make him feel _good._ I lean down again, lower halves pressing tightly together, and kiss his neck and jawline and grin against the stubble.

When my hands go to the hem of his jumper, he freezes for only a moment before allowing me to tug it up. I try not to stare, I do, but I can't help but let my eyes wander over his pale, lean torso and the many scars, long and short, and thick and thin, that litter it. With one glance up his blank, flushed face, I duck, dark curls spilling around his face, and kiss him soundly on the mouth.

The skin of our stomachs stick together with sweat, and I press ever closer to him, breasts swelling from where they push against his chest. His hardness presses against me in the most fucking _tantalising_ manner, and I grind against him, hips rocking and sliding up his slimmer thighs.

He stutters and grabs me tightly by the butt. ' _Fuck_ ,' Remus groans, and I feel a swell of satisfaction in me. _I did that._ I urge him to guide me, as I lean back and press my colder hands against his freakishly warm ones, still rocking back and forth.

'Tell me what you want,' I murmur, still looking down at him.

He just presses his fingers harder into my skin. 'Y-you,' he groans against, hips rising to meet my movements. ' _Merlin-'_

 _'_ Well, _obviously_ ,' I grin, tentatively pressing one hand to his hot chest and feeling the dark stray hairs there. 'I-' I choke, startled to feel him moving suddenly. For a split second, I think he must be freaking out, realising exactly what is happening. To my utter delight and shock, he pushes me to lie flat on the bed with him hovering above me, resting between my hips. I haven't a moment to even fucking _breathe_ before he's attacking my neck with that fucking mouth and that fucking _stubble._ I swear about a billion times, toes curling and heart racing.

With my fingers playing across the expanse of his back and feeling the sure bumpiness of scars, I breathe in loudly when his fingers dance across my bare stomach and land at the hem of my jeans.

'Yes?' He asks gruffly, face still buried in my hair.

'Jesusfuck _yes_ ,' I blurt out, still arching into his erection. _Fucking finally. I have waited far too long for this. It's your reward for being a patient sun of a bitch, Leola._ He leans away to look down as he undoes my button and zip, snorting lightly at the sight of my bright blue panties that are covered in happy looking clouds. 'Fuck off,' I laugh, breathy. Hands splayed out next to my head, I urge him to kiss me with a slight incline of my head as his rough fingers disappear beneath the fabric of my underwear.

It takes him _more_ than a moment to find what he's looking for, but when he does...he _does._

He retracts himself from our slow kissing and even with my eyes shut, I can tell he's looking at me. He feels amazing. Better than Brant or Endrew or any fucking girl I knew, and that was saying a lot. _It's always better when you care about them,_ my mums voice rings in my head. He moves his fingers slowly against the bundle of nerves, hot breath splaying across my face and neck. It builds slowly, and he peppers kisses over my throat and chest.

His fingers are fast suddenly, and I only realise he's replying to the fucking _loud_ noises I'm making when he leans down, chest pressed against mine, and murmurs, 'You gonna come for me, Lola?' In that fucking _voice._

And, you know what? I fucking _do._ My back fucking _arches_ into him. It's _that_ good. And here I was thinking only _I_ could do that to me. And as I lie there, suddenly sleepy and I'm high and I'm opening my eyes to smile up at his lazy grin, I half laugh and say, 'I totally forgot to say that Dumbles told me to remind you about Prefect rounds'.

'Oh, _fuck_ '.

* * *

 **Hello, beautiful people! Thank you SO MUCH for the reviews, you're all amazing. I'm giving you a long chapter because it might be a fair few days before I can update again. Also, some fluff before the storm that's brewing. The first wizarding war was, notoriously, pretty fucking savage. Remember that!**


	27. You're Not Going To Piss On Me, Are You?

_Oh darling, don't be bitter. It's the first instinct of the weak_ ― **Sarah Dessen**

* * *

 _January 26th_ _1977_

 _12:04 PM_

* * *

'Mum wrote and said it was a _complete_ raid - the windows were busted and the door looked like it had been burnt down-'

'The owner and her kids were found _dead._ Bellatrix Black has been cleared of charges, but people _swear_ they saw her there-'

'It's Bellatrix _Lestrange_ now. She got married to that twat a couple of months ago-'

It was the usual, terrible news from the outside, but so much worse. The deaths _had_ been muggles and families of students (the latter lesser so), but the latest attack had been on a Muggle shop located at the quiet end of Diagon Alley, of which sold muggle jokes, vinyls, clothes and even children's toys. I had been in there the summer before Sixth Year with Brant and Charlie, insisting that we would buy my little brother anything he wanted for his birthday.

A silence settles between Brant, Edith, Endrew and I as we lumber toward Hogsmeade, grim and speechless. You-Know-Who had purposely targeted a muggle store in the hopes of sending a very poignant message. _Muggles are scum, as are those who support them._ Almost gently for him, I feel Brant reach for my arm with his gloved hand and give it a small squeeze. He knew my worries for mum and dad.

'I fucking _hate_ people sometimes,' I mutter, scowling at the sleet that drifted from the heavily grey sky above and noting the large footprints left in the snow were Hagrid's. The Half-Giant lumbers ahead of us, taking a different turn and wandering toward the grimy and small Hogs Head.

'I can second that,' Endrew spits, kicking the wet ground as we walk. Edith hums and brushes a hand over his shoulder, concerned blue eyes darting up to his in a way that has me looking away. It wasn't often that their dad came up, but in times like these we were all reminded of what had happened to Mister Bandini.

We elect to stay far away from the shops that day (despite Endrew's grumbling that he needed more chocolate), instead drifting through the warded village of Hogsmeade that bustled with heavily clothed students and residents to protect themselves against the shitty, chilly wind of late January. Have I mentioned how much I fucking hate winter?

We bustle into The Three Broomsticks with our noses red, grouped together like a load of penguins. Brant immediately orders Endrew and Edith over to one of the few free tables, proclaiming that he will buy the first round anyway. The twins thank him and bustle over to the table by the staircase, between the table occupied by Lily and her Gryffindor friends and a table of Slytherin third years. Brant and I wander over to the bar, and with a quick glare from me to the fourth years meandering there, we push to the front.

Whilst he flirts with Rosmerta, the busty and curly haired owner of the pub, I chew on my lip and look idly about the crowded pub. When Remus walks in with the Marauders following him, cheeks red from the cold and in the midst of laughter, I can't help the smile that breaks out across my face, no matter how hard I bite my cheeks. He blinks over at me, mid-laugh, and gives a smug little smile.

Remus...yeah, _that's_ something you were likely wondering about. After my mind-altering orgasm in the Gryffindor Tower, thanks to him, I was escorted quickly back to the dungeons by him as he hastily changed into his robes and pinned his Prefect badge to his chest. 'This is _your_ fault,' he had told me, still pink in the face and hair an utter mess. 'You're too bloody distracting'. I had, in return, lounged on his bed with a lazy smile, still utterly topless.

When he left me outside the Slytherin Common Room ('I can't believe you walked me back. You're so fucking _gallant')_ he had planted a solid kiss on my mouth and hurried away with a wolfish grin to meet his rounds partner. After that, he had snickered at me when I partnered with Vanity in Potions that Monday morning like everything was _normal,_ and I was so fucking _thankful_. On Tuesday, he met me after dinner and asked if I wanted to join him in the library, his friends grinning behind him. On Wednesday, he pushed me behind a tapestry after breakfast and kissed me breathless before my Charms lesson. On Thursday, he acted funny in our Potions theory lesson, and I pinched his arm hard after cornering him in the ingredients cupboard and told him I _still_ did not care about his _furry little problem._ On Friday, he told me he was going to Hogsmeade with his friends the following day (they had told him they _needed_ a Marauders day), but would I like to join him afterwards for a walk?

I had told him he was corny as fuck, but yes, I would.

I look away when Sirius slaps him on the arm and mutters something in his ear, only to be met with Brant's sullen stare when I turn back around. 'What?' I ask stuffily, straightening up and dusting off my black coat and green scarf.

'Stop fawning over him. It's _gross_ ,' he whines, punching me lightly on the arm. 'Merlin, why aren't you two together yet, anyway? After last weekend, I _assumed_ he would have popped the questions already. I mean, he must know how high he's punching-'

I snort and whack him on the arm, not wanting to raise the question of _why_ Remus and I weren't _together. Because he's a werewolf with slight commitment issues, and I am trying to be patient and understanding about that. Trying being the main word in that sentence._ 'Shut up. Drinks are ready, cupid'. I nod to where Rosmerta had slid the four butterbeers onto the bar with a flirtatious smile at Brant, which causes me to gag dramatically when she turns away. 'Paedo,' I scoff.

'Shut it. She can't help that she loves a bit of chocolate,' Brant shoots back, grinning. 'Are we still on for the kitchens tonight, or are you going to ditch us for Lupin?'

'Have I ever ditched you?' I whip back, gathering two of the butterbeers and frowning up at him as we walk toward the small table Edith and Endrew were grouped around. Edith had started a small conversation with Lily from the other table, and Endrew was making grabby hands at the drinks in mine and Brant's hands. I drop the drinks onto the table, attempting to sneakily spy out where the Marauders had sat themselves over my shoulder. _Ah, at the other end of the pub. Away from Lily and I. Most likely Sirius's doing._ I watch as the boy in question, and James, wander off the to get drinks as Pettigrew and Remus bow their heads and converse quietly.

Merlin. My stomach feels all funny at the sight of him. He's wearing worn blue jeans, grubby Converse, and a black sweatshirt that looked to be Sirius's, simply for that fact it didn't have holes in the sleeves. Fuck, he looked _good_ in it. Do you know how happy I was that muggle fashion had started to wiggle it's way onto the younger magical folk? _Very_ happy.

I look away quickly and settle into my seat, sliding Edith's butterbeer toward her as she turns away from her and Lily's conversation about some Divination Club they were both eager to start. 'You're a dork,' I comment lightly, after nodding to Lily as she turned back to Marlene, Lavier and Dorcas Meadowes. 'Are you really going to start this club?'

'Professor L'aDeer said that Dumbledore is talking about scrapping the subject, and she's taught Divination for years!' Edith says frostily, taking a long sip from her drink. 'Lily took it as a N.E.W.T, something of which I _wish_ I had done. We both want to get people more into it - I don't understand _why_ so many think it's a useless bit of magic. There's so much proof it's all real! Don't look at me like that, Brant, you _git._ Endrew believes in it, too - oh, Lola, isn't that _Fabian_ over there?'

I whip around, still wiping the foam of butterbeer from my top lip. Sure enough, there is a tall, red haired young man with a slightly crooked nose, wearing wizards robes standing in the middle of the hubbub of the pub. He looks up from his watch, brown eyes narrowed, before spotting me staring at him with a gaping mouth. Immediately, the brown eyes widen and the frown on his face blossoms into a large, very Prewett like grin.

I laugh in surprise and plonk my butterbeer onto the table and nearly spill it, ignoring Brant's tired sigh at the mess. Tripping out of my chair, I fly into his waiting arms and snort at the wet, messy kiss he plants on my cheek. 'Lola Leola!' he shouts, pulling away to gaze down at my face, arms wrapped around my waist. 'I was wondering if I would see you, beautiful!'

I snort and wack his arm, grinning up at him. 'Still a fucking charmer, I see, Fabian. What the hell are you doing here, you giant?' I hadn't seen him since he graduated school last year and proclaimed he was going to work for Ministry in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes alongside his twin.

He scoffs and roll his eyes. 'Ever the way with words, La'. He loosens his hold around my waist. 'Gideon and Molly _still_ bloody talk about you, you know. _Insist_ I should have stuck a ring on your finger-'

'I was _fifteen,_ Fabian'. I tut and roll my eyes.

'-Pureblood families have gotten engaged far earlier,' he points out. 'Anyway. Obviously couldn't tell my _darling_ sister that we weren't _quite_ in a relationship - it might have given her and mum a heart attack'.

I laugh out loud at that. From what I had gathered from Molly, it probably _would_ have. 'Again, _what_ are you doing here?'

He shrugs and lets his arms fall from around my waist. 'I'm meeting Hagrid here in a few. He has some book that my nephew, Charlie, would kill to borrow. Some very rare book about dragons. The kid is mad for them'. He peers over my shoulder and gives a low whistle. 'Is that Edith? She is looking _good-'_

I whack him once again on the arm. 'Good _bye,_ Fabian. Are you sure Hagrid wanted to meet you here, anyway? I could have sworn I saw him wandering over to The Hogs Head, and he isn't exactly hard to miss, is he?'

Realisation dawns on his handsome face, and he gives a loud laugh. 'I'm a bloody idiot, aren't I? Of _course_ he said The Hogs Head. You know, people aren't wrong when they said Gideon got the brains'.

'I know, don't worry'.

'Still funny, aren't you?' He smiles down at me, brown eyes warm and freckles splattered across his nose and cheeks. 'Ah, I better get going then. I don't want to keep him waiting. It was good seeing you, La. You look _good._ I'll write to you, alright?' He leans down, and I quickly lean into his hug, the large smile splashes across my face faltering when I circle my arms around his neck, go onto my tiptoes, plant my chin onto his shoulder...

...And note the glare Sirius Black is sending me, and the blank, hard look Remus has planted on Fabian's back.

Oh, fucking hell, what's wrong with me? Why the _fuck_ would I take Fabian's jokey, sloppy kisses and big hugs and flirtatious banter in front of _Remus,_ the self-hating werewolf who I am _kind of_ seeing? Because I am a fucking idiot, that is why.

I trip my way back to my table after bidding Fabian goodbye with one last smile and squeeze, glaring at Brant when he pipes up, 'Well, Lupin look about ready to knife Fabian. How was he, by the way? He looks _fine'._

'I'm a bloody idiot,' I mutter, staring hard at the table. 'That was bad, wasn't it? Not really the kind of thing that you should do in front of the guy you're currently seeing, right?' I look up at Edith with a helpless expression. 'I'm fucking _awful_ at this relationship stuff, Edith - oh my God, _what_?' Her expression has altered to one of amused pity, to startled amusement.

Beside Edith, Endrew rolls his eyes, blue gaze sliding to me. 'Lupin is coming over. Looks like you're ditching us _again -_ oh, I'm fucking joking, you baby'. He takes a hasty sip of his drink as Brant lowers his head and lets out a gruff laugh, and I feel the looming presence of Lupin hover behind me. I turn, quickly, and grin happily up at him. Perhaps a little _too_ happily.

'Remus-' I begin to greet, ignoring the not-so-subtle way Edith is kicking me underneath the table.

'Would you like to go for a walk?' He looks tense, and it's not even near the full moon. Maybe he _is_ pissed. _Well, it's within my right to tell him that we're not even fucking together...no, that would be childish._ He stuffs his hands awkwardly into the worn pockets of his jeans and blinks down lazily at me, mouth pulled into an awkward half-smile.

I practically fall over I stand so suddenly, slightly irked that I'm having to leave a half-full pint of butterbeer behind. 'I'll meet you guys in the kitchens as eight?' I ask, wrapping my green scarf hastily around my neck and eyeing each of them. Brant merely looks up at me with an amused, tight-lipped smile and gives a silent little nod. ' _Lovely_. Bye!'

I edge toward Remus, who gives me a hard stare before stalking quickly from the pub. James peers at me over the top of his butterbeer, cheeks rounding into an amused smile, and I note that Remus too had left his butterbeer unfinished. _Oh, what? Maybe they're not annoyed._ The moment we make it out into the frigid air of the Village, Remus grasps my hand with his (I actually fucking _blush)_ and yanks me hard down the alleyway next to the pub. 'What the _fu_ -'

He kisses me, already pushing me hard against the cold stone of The Three Broomsticks. It's a bruising, sudden kiss that leaves me literally _breathless._ He presses himself to me, hand hovering next to my jaw and feet knocking against mine. My hands, which hang limply at my sides, slide up slowly to grasp the front of his jumper. He pushes harder, tongue sliding into my mouth and teeth knocking with mine.

I pull away, desperate to fucking _breathe._

I watch, dumbstruck, as his amber eyes flutter open and his wet mouth puckers into a barely there half smile. And, feeling pretty stupid, I reach up and cup the side of his face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone where the worst of his facial scars was. He blinks slowly down at me, a muscle in his jaw twitching at the touch. 'Sorry,' I murmur, surprising even myself with the tenderness I feel toward him.

He shakes his head and sighs, warm breath casting across my face. ' _Don't_ be. You're allowed to _hug_ whoever you fucking want, I just get a little... _territorial_ sometimes. _Especially_ with him'. He looks momentarily embarrassed by the confession, and I wonder if this is Remus attempting to be as honest with me as I had begged him to me. I mean, it wasn't exactly a secret that Fabian and I banged all over the school last year.

I bite back a smile and attempt to look up at him with a serious look. 'You're not going to piss on me, are you?'

He laughs, breaking the calm between us. With a smile on his face, he reaches around and pulls me to his chest, chin resting heavily atop my curly headed head as his arms wrap around me. With a large grin I am glad he can't see, I wrap my arms around his waist and sigh. 'How about that walk then?' I ask, voice muffled against the thick fabric of his jumper.

He complies by pulling away from me and nudging me down the alley, and the silence that settles between us is _chill._ We weave easily through the students, and I only realise when we leave the outskirts of Hogsmeade that he's taking me toward the Shrieking Shack. I huddle closer to him, the chill more apparent now that we've left the surroundings of the shops and people.

We stop on the edge of the hill that overlooks the old and dark Shack, and suddenly this feels very much like a _date._ I struggle not laugh in panic, literally _swallowing_ the smile that threatens to break across my face as Remus shifts beside me and stares out over the cold hill, to the lone and creepy looking building. He looks briefly around us, and I blink up at him in curiosity.

Finally, he settles his gaze ahead again, as if deciding that we were alone enough, and clears his throat and rubs his mouth. 'That's, um, that's where I transform'.

I practically get whiplash I look at him so quickly. _He's talking to me about werewolf stuff. Okay. Cool. Chill. You got this. Act cool._ 'Oh,' I reply, rather eloquently. _Nice one._ And slowly, very nervously (Lola Leola is fucking _nervous,_ call the press) I reach for his limp hand, the cuff of my coat too long for my arm. The moment my fingers slip through his, he stiffens, relaxes, and then speaks again.

'I was bitten when I was four. My dad...' He frowns and sighs, hand tightening in mine. I knew full well that it wasn't the story that upset him so much, but the fact that he was having to _tell_ it. 'The Werewolf Registry was badly run when my dad worked in the Ministry. Still is, really. Werewolves...they live in _packs_ , so they can avoid being registered, sometimes. There was this one werewolf... _Fenrir Greyback_. He'd been brought in for questioning about the deaths of these two Muggle kids. He said he was a muggle tramp, but my dad _knew_ what he was. He tried to make it so he was kept in for twenty-four hours, until the next full moon. Could prove what he was then, right? They laughed him out, and my dad said some... _things_ about werewolves he says he doesn't think anymore'. He shrugs and clears his throat. 'I don't know. It _kills_ him, I can tell'.

I stare at him, eyes travelling from his long nose to his furrowed brow.

'Anyway, they let Greyback go, who told his _werewolf_ friends what my dad had said about their _kind_. I think it was just a little bit before my fifth birthday. I _think._ He came through my bedroom window - I can barely remember it now, really. He turned and attacked me, or that's what dad says. Mum doesn't really like to talk about it. She's a muggle, and it took her a while to even get what was happening, dad says'. My heart was fucking _hammering._ I was sure that my hand was sweaty in Remus's. 'The older I got, the worse the transformations. My...other form got _bigger_. We had to move around a lot, in case people figured out what I was and told. Before I turned eleven, Dumbledore came along and said I could go to Hogwarts. _Insisted._ I came here, and he set up the Shack for me to transform in. I think he kind of eggs on the rumours that it's haunted, mostly because all the screaming that people hear there is _me._ There's a little tunnel underneath the Whomping Willow that I use to get there without being seen'. He continues to stare forward, hand an almost bruising grip over mine. He speaks of it with such a _factual_ air. I feel _ill._ 'James, Sirius and Pete figured it out pretty quickly, really-'

I'm reaching for him, tugging his head down to mine and kissing him before he can finish speaking, so adamant that he has to know how _grateful_ I am that he told me. 'I'm sorry,' I tell him, pulling away and looking his slack face dead on. I grasp his jaw and stand on my tiptoes, our noses brushing. 'I know you don't _want_ pity, but I'm sorry regardless, Remus'.

And I am. It's so fucking _unfair_ that it had to happen to him, of all people. _Thank fuck for the Marauders._

He shrugs, eyes darting away from my intense gaze. Finally, they settle back to me, as his dark brow furrows and his arms hang limply at his sides. 'You still haven't run screaming,' he mutters, a rueful smile appearing on his face.

I huff and plant a solid kiss on his closed mouth. 'I mean, maybe _one_ day you'll realise that _isn't_ going to happen, idiot'. He snorts and moves, arms suddenly encircling my waist and pulling me flush against him. I yelp and glare at him, that glare turning into a radiant smile when I look up at his lovely face and decide to take the plunge. 'Remus, do you want to be my boyfriend, or what?'

He falters, smile slipping for a split-second, before he laughs and shakes his head, eyes rolling. 'I mean, not _really -_ ow, don't _hit_ me, I was joking!' This time, the smile slips for real. '...Are you _sure?'_

I sigh and nod, deciding that the fucking _glee_ filling me from top to bottom was a sign of my sureness. ' _Very._ Does this mean you're _actually_ going to pee on me now?'

I am silenced with a soft glower and a kiss to shut me up.

* * *

I fucking skip down from my dorm, face still split into a large smile, despite Vanity's sharp question of, ' _What the bloody hell are you smiling at, weirdo?'_ And it's fucking weird, because I _can't_ stop smiling. Remus Lupin is my _boyfriend._ Ha! What the fuck? And, despite the qualms he would always fucking have and the ways of which I would have to grow used to _what he was,_ we were _working on it._

My boyfriend. Lola Leola has a _boyfriend._ What the _fuck?_

I'm so fucking stupidly happy and grinning and fucking _skipping_ (I want to punch me too, don't worry) that I don't notice the younger Black sibling hanging by the stairways, three thick books balanced in his arms. Of course, they go fucking _everywhere_ the moment I bash into him and swear loudly, knocking back onto the staircase and landing painfully on my butt.

Regulus Black, the annoyingly good looking fifth year and Sirius's brother, glowers down at me with his short black hair ruffled and his grey eyes narrowed. He was certainly more _Slytherin_ looking than his older brother, that was for sure. We Slytherins tend to carry ourselves in a way that was annoyingly pompous, and he had _mastered_ that act. 'Leola,' he drawls, grimacing as he gathers his books into his arms, dark hair falling about his face.

'Oh, _bugger_ , sorry,' I say, rather unhelpfully as I clamber to my feet. 'My fault'.

He cocks a dark brow and straightens up, an ever-so-slightly amused look falling across his pretty face. 'Yes, I know that'.

'... _Right'._ I pause, nod, and then start to walk away.

'You're one of Sirius's friends,' he says suddenly, voice low, and I stop, nearly shoulder to shoulder with him. Those in the Common Room who had rolled their eyes at my clumsy act begin to turn away, back to their reading and games of chess. 'You've gotten _closer_ to him. It's like you're _asking_ to be hexed on a daily basis, do you know that?' He peers at me, nearly a head taller.

I glare and draw myself to my full height, my inner snake rearing. 'Is that a _threat?'_

He cracks a small smirk and shrugs, one eyebrow quirking slightly. Fuck, he is the opposite of his brother, yet so bloody similar. It's _weird._ 'It's a _fact._ You ought to be more careful. The more powerful the Dark Lord grows, the more dangerous it is for witches like _you_ stuck in a pit of snakes-'

'I _am_ a snake,' I cut across him furiously, voice cold. 'I'm just not a fucking _Death Eater'._

He swallows his words with an easy smile. 'You _are_. I forget. Just as Slytherin as me, despite your blood. Oh,' he breathes in deeply and stares me hard in the eye, grey eyes like steel. 'Watch how you and Vanity brew your Potions in class over the next few days. I've heard Bulstrode is quite adamant that she will pull some heinous _prank_ on the both of you before the week is out. See you later, Leola'.

With that, he brushes away from me and quickly ascends the boys staircase, leaving me stumped and clueless.

And that, right there, is the beginning of the odd friendship between myself and Regulus Black.

Alas, that comes later.

* * *

 **Hello! I can't believe the reviews, you guys are amazing! They're together, yay! But will it last? And what does this truce with Regulus mean? This is going to be a _long_ story, ladies and gents, keep that in mind. I'm already planning a sequel. Thank you for reviews again, keep 'em coming!**


	28. I Want To Blow You - So Let Me

_Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light_ \- **Helen Keller**

* * *

 _January 26th_ _1977_

 _7:30 PM_

* * *

After Regulus had left me at the bottom of the stairs with a slack jaw and a quizzical expression, I had shrugged and walked idly through the Common Room, slipped through the portrait hole and brushed myself off. _How fucking weird. Why would he even bother to warn me?_ I got as far as the end of the dimly lit corridor before a hand was darting out of the darkness to yank me behind one of the many tapestries that lined the walls, telling the story of Slytherin himself.

And that leads me up to now.

I glare up at Sirius, James and Pettigrew, face colouring from the great yelp I had given. 'What the fuck are you three _doing_?' I snap, pressing myself up against the wall as they surround me, leering grins on all of their faces. Fucking hell, even the _rat_ looks gleeful.

'Moony told us'.

'You _asked him out'._

'And he said _yes'._

James looks right about ready to fucking _wet_ himself. His hair was an utter mess, and the smile on his face was both happy and amused. Sirius looks smug, of course, with his leather jack clad arms crossed over his chest. Pettigrew merely wore a knowing little smirk, and I have to refrain from gagging at the sight of a love bite on his neck. I fight a smile as I cross my own arms and, instead, attempt to glower. ' _And?'_

' _And_ ,' Sirius drawls dramatically, planting one hand on the wall next to my head. 'We're here to warn you that if you _ever_ hurt him, we will hex you everyday until we _graduate'._

'Not mundane little hexes, either,' Pettigrew pipes up, voice cracking and expression a little _too_ confident. I turn my glower to him, wishing that it could melt him on the spot. The air between himself and Brant was less thick, but there was _no_ contact between the two wizards. Because of that, my dislike for him burnt bright.

'Oh, _no_ ,' James cuts in, grinning slowly. I turn to him, my glare softening somewhat. ' _Creative_ hexes. And we know some _good_ ones. Plus, we've got _Peeves_ on our side when it comes to pranks. We can make your life a living _hell,_ Lola Leola-'

I roll my eyes and cross my arms even tighter. 'Don't _threaten_ me, or I'll inform _Remus'._ I grin at Sirius's narrowed gaze. ' _Slytherin_ , remember? And don't worry about _that._ That idiot is my _one_ weak spot-' I cough and cut myself off, cheeks colouring as James grins even wider, hazel eyes mirthful and wide. 'Bugger off. Just... _don't worry._ Worry about _him._ I'm half expecting to meet him tomorrow and have him make some self-deprecating little speech about what a _horrifying_ prospect being with him is-'

'It _will_ be, though,' Sirius cuts in, a frown taking over his handsome face. It was softer looking that Regulus's, I note. Happier. Pettigrew bows his head a little at Sirius's remark, whereas James takes in a deep breath and nods. I look to him sharply. 'Realistically, if people ever find out, Remus will be shunned. He doesn't talk about it much, but he worries about jobs and all that shit once he leaves Hogwarts. If you're in this for the long haul, keep that in mind, Lola. Moony is a _werewolf._ Not everyone is as accepting as us-'

'Way to scare the shit out of her, Pads. They starting going out _today-'_ James cuts in, a rueful look on his face.

I swallow the fear ( _I knew this. I knew this. Don't freak out now)_ and nod, brow furrowed and fists clenched. 'No. I _know_. I've... _thought_ about it all'. I shuffle and sigh. 'Just chill, okay? I've got this. Thank you for the _talk._ I am sufficiently warned. I'll treat Remus like a _proper lady_ -'

'From how much he was grinning after his rounds last week, I bet it was _you_ he treated like a lady-' I cut Sirius off with an affronted look and hot cheeks. As James and Pettigrew laugh, I reach forward and give the eldest Black a solid slap on the chest. He rubs his chest and laughs at me, grey eyes narrowed. 'Ha, she's blushing! Go _Moony-'_

'I am _leaving,'_ I inform them, pushing away from the wall and flipping them all he finger. 'I will see you _later,_ you fucking nerds. Tell Remus I'll meet him outside your Common Room at one, okay? Near the grand staircase'. I snort. 'Like Cinderella, or something'.

'What the fuck is Cinderella?' Sirius asks, as James pulls out the map and adjusts his glasses. Pettigrew looks equally dubious.

'It's a muggle fairy-tale...never _mind._ Bye, idiots'.

I slip from the tapestry, leaving behind a very confused Sirius Black who turns to his friends and asks what the hell a _Cinderella_ is. I snort and hurry down the dark corridor, shivering against the cold. I can't fucking believe they came to give me the bloody _talk._ I mean, it was kind cute, but also a little fucking annoying. Had I not _proved_ how all in I was? I mean, sure, the prospect of being shunned by people was slightly terrifying...but who knew if we would get that far? I didn't have a great track history of relationships. I wonder if I could even tell my parents of Remus's affliction...

 _But it's Remus, isn't it? It's different._

I huff and shuffle up the stairs, careful to avoid any signs of Mrs Norris. The Bloody Baron drifts passed me sullenly, the silver blood across his chest shimmering in the torchlight. Idly, I wonder if Remus was _already_ having doubts. _At least he didn't tell the others about your little love-fest in the Gryffindor dorms last week. That makes a change. I guess he learnt his lesson._

I slip quickly through the portrait hole and into the kitchens after tickling the pear, grinning when I clock the sweet smell of weed brownies. The house Elves bustle around my three best friends, anxious to clean up the horrendous mess they had made. The long counters were strewn with flour, chocolate powder and grains of weed, and I couldn't help but grin at the small batch of brownies that were plonked onto the middle of the smallest of the tables.

Brant, who sat beside Endrew, bit happily into his and waved for me to sit. 'Milady'.

I hurry over to them, slipping into the seat beside Edith and noting the crumbs sticking to her fingertips. _Yes! I love high Edith._ 'Good sir,' I greet in return, giggling when he passes me a still warm brownie. Around us, the House Elves chatter happily and scrub the used baking trays. 'These look _delicious'._ I take a bite and grin, mouth full of brownie. 'And taste it,' I mumble.

'Where the hell _were you?'_ Endrew asks. Huh, he doesn't look high. Must still be kicking in. 'We haven't seen you since you wandered off with Lupin at the Broomsticks. That was _awkward,_ just so you know _. Really_ awkward'.

I swallow my bite of mouth watering brownie and, slowly, grin. 'I asked him out'. Edith practically falls off of her chair, she turns to me so quickly. 'He said _yes_. I just came back from the rest of his posse giving me a very _frightening_ 'if you hurt him' talk. It was... _funny'._

'He's your _boyfriend?'_ Brant asks, grinning slowly. 'Holy _fuck_ '.

Next to me, Edith is practically hyperventilating.

'I never thought I would see the day,' Endrew says, an impressed look on his face. He bites his brownie and sprays crumbs everywhere when he says, 'Go Lupin. Who would have thought _he_ would be the one to strap down Lola Leola'.

Brant snorts. 'Don't give her ideas'.

I grin slyly.

'I'm so _happy!'_ Edith finally spits out, hitting me excitedly on the arm. 'And so proud of you, Lola! A _normal_ relationship! With someone who _cares_ about you!' I smile and laugh at her happy blue eyes, only thinking one thing.

 _It's as far from normal as you could get, Edith._

* * *

 _26th January 1977_

 _9:06 PM_

* * *

'No,' Brant insists, shaking his head and slapping the table with vigour. 'What would she do, right - would we should do is _build another Common Room._ Like...somewhere they won't find it. Magic can do stuff like that, right?'

I nod.

Endrew drools over his plate of pasta.

Edith holds her head in her hands and stares at Brant in wonder. 'But...do you think that could ever happen? _Imagine._ We could make a _new_ House. _Slytherclaw!_ Oh my God, we've cracked the code. _This_ is the way to end House feuds. Lola!' she gasps. 'You're dating a _Gryffindor!_ You're the _key_ to this new, wonderful world-' Brant cackles, nearly toppling off of his chair. 'No, I'm being _serious,_ Brant!'

'I wouldn't,' I cut in, chin resting on my hand. 'He's a dick'.

She pauses, thinks, and then laughs madly. 'Ha! That's funny! But seriously'. Her pretty, pale face flattens to a dead serious look. 'Let's build a Common Room. A Ravenclaw and a Slytherin one. We would be _unstoppable-'_

'A winged snake. What a horrifying thought,' Brant muses. I laugh and snort. 'Oi, Lola, what's with you and Vanity, huh? You two still all buddy buddy? Why didn't you drag her along tonight?' He focuses those bloodshot, brown eyes on me. Endrew actually looks up.

'Yeah,' says the male of the twins, mouth full of sweetcorn and pasta. 'She's fit, she is'.

I blink slowly at the three of them, though Edith looks a little put out that no one was taking her Slytherclaw idea seriously enough. 'I don't know,' I reply slowly. 'I just...I just figured you wouldn't want her here. She's growing on me...like a _fungus_. She's a bit of an acquired taste. Jone has finally taken a liking to her, though'. That much was true. Every breakfast and dinner they would take turns in ripping me to shreds with their biting comments and sly little grins.

'Well, so are _you_ , but we get on with you,' Brant drawls. I flip him the finger, to which he laughs at. 'Oi, so I had an idea. I got my cousin - you know Hilda? She graduated when we were in fourth year? The one you fancied Endrew? Yeah, her. Anyway, she works in this magical tattoo studio in Camden. She _obviously_ comes from my mums side. My sister _hates_ her. Well, she told me about this muggle trend that's going about. It's called a Stick 'n Poke tattoo'.

I immediately look up, a slow grin spreading across my face. No _way._

At my look, Brant bites back a smile. 'It's this home tattoo thing. They last a pretty long time, but with some _magic_ I'm sure we could stop the fading. Anyway, you guys wanna do it?' At that, he yanks his shoulder bag up from underneath the table and reaches into it, revealing a small box with various designs printed across it. 'She's says it's pretty dangerous, but with the whole muggle rock scene that's going on, people are _loving_ it'.

'Let's fucking do it,' I grin. _Do I make bad choices? Yes. Will my mum kill me? Yes._

Edith and Endrew are hesitant at first, insisting that it might fuck up and that muggles were notorious for making silly, needless thins that no one needed. _Racist,_ Brant points out, to which Edith throws him a confused, red-eyed look. In the end, they comply, once Brant tells them the simple idea that he will draw upon their skin. Brant insists that he will do all of ours, as he empties the box and sorts the ink, and that I will do his. I look over the contents of the box, from the black ink bottle to the funny little needle pen.

'Ready?' Brant asks, and I realise he wants me to go first.

'Fuck that,' I laugh. 'Endrew can go first'.

He does, pulling back his jumper to reveal his shoulder. Brant, with a wide grin and shining eyes, pushes him onto the table and nearly knocks over the brownies. Edith watches, eyebrows furrowed, as Brant paints the ink onto the back of Endrew's shoulder with narrowed eyes and tight frown. It takes longer than a usual tattoo would, I'm sure, considering the simplicity of it. Endrew whines the whole time, insisting that it is fucking _painful._

Edith goes next, her slim and pale shoulder revealed. She insists the same, but holds her tongue. When it's done, she grins and asks how it looks. I tell her it looks fucking _cool._ When I go, I understand the fuss. With my front pressed flat on the table and the skin of my shoulder revealed to the cold, I swear at Brant and tell him he's a fucking idiot, as he _impales_ my skin with that stupid fucking needle.

'You better have cleaned it,' I warn him, gritting my teeth.

'I did about one hundred spells,' he grumbles back, breath hot against my back.

I do him next, perhaps pushing the needle a little deeper into his skin that I should, over and over again. The dark skin swells and reddens around the tattoo, a sure sign of how much all of ours would hurt in the morning. I think of how funny this is, how we will laugh at this memory in the years to come. _Remember that time we got high in the kitchens and then gave ourselves home tattoos?_

When we're done, we each inspect each others work with grins and bare shoulders, laughing at the fucking ridiculousness of it all. Still, the four, two centimetre long lines that decorate the back of each of our shoulders would forever be a reminder of _us._ They were the size of a fingerprint, hardly even stand in a row, all identical and all the same length. Shocking, considering how _high_ we all fucking were.

'You lot are my ride or die bitches,' Endrew proclaims, grinning as he pulls his jumper back over his pale shoulder. Around us, the House Elves look a little traumatised at what they had just witnessed. 'That was a fucking cool idea, Brant'.

I laugh and nudge my shoulder against Edith's. 'That wasn't so bad, was it?'

She shakes her head and giggles, cheeks pink and eyes heavy. 'No! I can't believe I have a _tattoo._ Mum is going to _kill us_ if she sees, Endrew. You know that, don't you?'

He merely laughs.

An hour later, we all grumble that we should probably get to bed. I bid them all farewell, knowing that _something_ had changed with us all tonight. It was dark around us, the shitty world, and that push to do something so fucking _daring_ together would forever hold us together in the most physical of ways. 'I'll charm it,' Brant says, grinning and thinking quickly as we sneak through the dark hallways. Edith trips over her own feet and giggles. 'Hilda knows loads of tattoo charms. I'll get her to teach me some. _Cool_ ones. By next week, we will have it _sorted'._

The twins stumble away, happier than I have seen them in months. Brant snorts and hurries after them, but not before giving me a hard hug and a soft, 'I'm happy for you, Lo'.

I call him a prick and he laughs.

I go toward the Gryffindor Tower without really meaning too, mind only slightly boggled still by the brownies. I feel warm and happy and that makes me want to see _him._ Merlin, is this what a relationship is - wanting to see them and spend _time_ with them? How _odd._ I usually only ever wanted to see my Ravenclaw best friends. The moment I arrive at the Fat Lady, I glower at her affronted look.

'You're out past bedtime,' she points out haughtily.

'Yes, I _know_ ,' I reply, starting to become aware of the stinging on my back. 'Is there any way you could get Remus Lupin out here?'

She sniffs and looks down on me, her painted face bland. 'Of _course_ not. You are not a _Gryffindor_ student, therefore you have no right to ask me any kind of favours. Run along and go to _bed-'_ I roll my eyes and let out a loud, rather annoying moan. ' _Please_ do not make that noise again,' she snaps, pulling her hands away from her ears. I glare up at her portrait. 'Nasty House, you come from. Always _glowering,_ you Slytherins-!'

'Er, we are _not-''_

 _'_ You are,' she insists, chin wobbling. 'Always such a haughty, nasty lot. You _snakes-'_

' _That's_ rude,' I point out, planting my hands on my hips and trying not to let my eyes droop. Merlin, those brownies make you _dopey._ 'And you're... _discriminating_ against my...my _people-'_

 _'Merlin,_ Moony. I take it you didn't go for her because of her wit and charm'. I whirl around, nearly falling over in the process, and stare blankly at Sirius Black and, my _boyfriend_ , Remus Lupin. Boyfriend. That sounds weird. Huh, considering I had only seen him that morning, the sight of him in his black jumper and worn jean has be staring dumbly at him. 'Christ, Lola, are you high?'

I merely pull a face at him, knees going all fucking wobbly when Remus cracks a half-smile. 'Where _have_ you two been?'

'Sorry, mum,' Remus replies seriously, climbing the rest of the steps to peer at my gaze. 'You're _very_ high. I take it that was your mess in the kitchens? The poor House Elves looked beside themselves'. I peer round Remus to Sirius, who is rolling his eyes and stuffing a silky looking cloak into the pocket of his trousers. 'What was all that _ink_ everywhere?'

'I gave myself a tattoo,' I reply brightly, standing straight again and looking away from Black to grin up at Remus.

He blinks. The Fat Lady gives a hearty gasp. Sirius merely swears lightly, slaps Remus on the shoulder as he passes and says _he'll_ give 'Wormtail' the bloody cookies he was craving. 'On second thought...here you go, too. Have fun. Prongs won't mind,' he pulls the cloak from his pocket and pushes it into Remus's arms. I bid him farewell with a middle finger and a moody glower. _Idiot, how dare he judge me._

'You got a _tattoo?'_ Remus asks, peering down at me with an amused look. The portrait hole swings shut behind Sirius. 'I only saw you a few hours ago! Honestly, I don't know how you manage it-'

I cut him off by practically climbing on top of him and planting my mouth against his, hands finding his jaw and feet arching into tiptoes. He tastes of chocolate and smells like the outside; like rain. Breathless, I drop down onto the flats of my feet and grin sheepishly. 'Sorry, I just really wanted to do that. Sorry. I'm high and that makes me...' I swallow and pause. 'Fuzzy'.

He honestly looks like he doesn't know whether to drag Sirius back to laugh at me, or help me.

'I-' He swallows. 'I honestly don't know what to say to that'.

'The once brilliant youth of the world are dying out, slowly but surely,' the Fat Lady comments lightly from behind me, a glimmer of sadness in her dramatic tone. I turn and throw her a furious glare, cheeks warming. _You **are** acting like a bit of a pillock, Lola. _

'I probably shouldn't have come,' I state factually, looking back up at him with a frown. 'I'm coming across as _very_ clingy. I'm not, really. I just don't know how to do relationships. And this tattoo is _hurting._ Brant did it with this Stab 'n Jab kit, or whatever the fuck it was called. His cousin told him about it-' I slam my mouth shut and breath out through my nose. 'Weed makes me chatty'.

 _You're going to fucking scare him away. See, this is why it's so much easier to be the emotionally constipated Lola Leola. The real one is a fucking blabbering, weird wreck of a witch._

Remus's expression changes from one of utmost amusement, to one utter...oh, well, I guess it's _affection._ Yeah. I guess it was _that_. 'I'm glad you came, you idiot. You're oddly insecure, you know that? It's actually quite refreshing. Without it, you'd be terrifying. Now, come on, let's go sit somewhere and let you sober up. I _do not_ fancy getting a detention tonight'. With that, he flaps out the Invisibility Cloak and splays it over us, chuckling in a an exasperated manner when I blink up at the shimmering material that is draped over us.

With that, he reaches forward and clasps his hand in mine. I blink and return the gesture, feeling all warm and...nice. Merlin, it was bloody odd. A _Gryffindor._ A fucking _Gryffindor._ My dad was going to be over the moon.

He leads me away from the gaping Fat Lady, down the Grand Staircase that changes as we walk, down the corridor on the second floor and to a secluded area near a few empty classrooms. 'C'mere,' he mumbles, edging me in first as he pushes the door open, looking over my head to spy out any movement down the dark and silent corridor. 'This is _not_ how I expected to spend my Saturday night'.

'Sorry. This place is fucking _creepy_ at night,' I mumble, a little _too_ happy to be pressed so close to him. He was always fucking warm, did he realise that? Like a walking bloody heater.

With one last look down the corridor, Remus backs us into the classroom and yanks the Cloak from us. Ignoring me as I stand there dumbly, he pulls out his wand and mutters a few Silencing Charms in the direction of the closed, large door. With that, he turns to me in all in his frumpy, lanky glory. I blink at him, a glower settling on my face when he rubs away the amused smile.

'What?' I mutter.

He plonks the Cloak onto a nearby table (I _think_ we were in one of the old, less used classrooms of the second floor) and approaches me. 'You didn't really get a tattoo, did you?'

I grin wickedly. 'I _told_ you Brant, Edith, Endrew and I were going to hang out tonight earlier-'

'That doesn't usually equate you getting a _tattoo,_ Lola,' he remarks drily. 'Go on then, let's see'.

I stall for a moment, eyes narrowed, before turning my back on him and tugging down the top of my jumper, on the left side where my still stinging tattoo lay. Brushing my curly hair aside, I peer over my shoulder and blink. 'I feel kind of fucking dumb now. It's just four lines'. _At least we didn't attempt to tattoo fucking dragons on us like Endrew wanted._

I feel his warm presence behind me, and I just about stop myself from turning around and planting another ever so slightly aggressive kiss on his face. I _really_ need to reign that back. 'It's not too bad, actually,' he remarks slowly, and I feel the warm end of his fingertip brushing around the hot area of my still aching tattoo. 'I've never heard of them before'.

I shuffle. 'They're new. Muggle thing'.

Remus hums, before egging me to turn around slightly with a push at my waist. Idly, he looks down at me with a tight jaw and warm brown eyes. The light, barely there stubble that lines his chin makes me smile. 'Prongs told me today that he knew _you_ knew about my furry little problem,' he says, hands coming to rest on my hips.

I blink, processing the information. My mind was still a little slow form the brownies and the way he was holding me. 'Oh. _Yeah_. I'm sorry. I just...it was after I kissed Endrew, and I didn't know how else to get passed him to go and see you-'

He cocks a brow and frowns. 'I was a dick that night - I forgot. Sorry. Merlin, I come across as a jealous arse. Pads was right. He was ready to fucking punch me in Three Three Broomsticks today with how I was glaring at Prewett'. For some reason, this news has my stomach flopping and heat rising from my feet to my abdomen. _Jealous. He was jealous. Yum._

I shrug. 'I'll take it as a compliment. I was jealous of Lily Evans for a bit at the beginning of the year, 'till I realised she fancied the pants off of James. _Then_ there's that Gryffindor fifth year who gives you the eyes at breakfast and dinner everyday - oh, come off it. You _must_ have seen her. The one with the short black hair and freckles. Merlin, you're fucking oblivious'.

He grins. 'But _you_ did'. Smarmy git. Still, I can't help but appreciate how fucking _nice_ it is to see him so open with me. The rawest form of him - happy and joking and _okay_ with showing me affection.

'Of course I did. It's not often I fancy people, Remus. Brant says I would stare at you like a fucking psychopath at dinner times'. I pause and purse my lips. 'I don't know why I said that. That was a bit weird'.

'I'll choose to be flattered and not horrified'.

'Okay. Good'. I lick my lips. 'Do you _really_ get super horny around the full moon?'

He blinks at the words, hands stiffening on my hips, before his smile breaks into a full-out grin and he scoffs. 'Merlin, Lola. _Yes,_ I do. Sometimes. I thought...thought at first _that_ was the reason I was so...attracted to you. I mean...' He coughs, cheeks reddening. 'After you gave that speech on werewolf rights last year, I was pretty hooked on you. Fit, funny and apparently cool with me being a werewolf? I fancied the _hell_ out of you'.

I grin. 'Well, _duh'._ He rolls his eyes.

'Ever since you kissed me at the end of year party and told me you wanted to _screw_ me, I was a fucking hormonal mess around you every time the full moon came about. Plus, I mean, I'm a teenage boy. _Look_ at you. Don't look so smug - _you_ were no better'. He bumps his forehead against mine, but I act quickly. With deft hands, I reach up and yank his tall form down by the scruff of his jumper, mouth hot against his.

'I _think,'_ I say. 'I said I wanted to _fuck you,_ actually'.

And, just like that, he is goop in my talented hands. I work quickly, kissing the edge of his jaw to the underside of his neck, grinning toothily against his Adams Apple as a loan groan resounds there. 'You know,' I tell him. 'Every time I left you after kissing you in those early days, I was _so_ fucking turned on'. I reach down, lips hovering against his as I blink up to his half-closed, amber eyes, and start undoing his belt. 'You used to me _kill me_ when you would run off - and now you're _all mine,'_ I sing happily, dropping to my knees and pushing him against a neighbouring desk.

' _Lola_ -?'

'Sh,' I admonish. 'I want to blow you - so _let me'._

* * *

 _January 27th 1977_

 _9:30 AM_

* * *

'Fucking Christ Almighty, this is a _difficult_ Potion to make,' Brant complains next to me, dark face sweaty as he peers into his own softly bubbling cauldron. 'And it _stinks_ of weed and... _cologne_ \- don't you think?'

I lean down over my own potion, brow wrinkled as I take a long whiff of the steam. Slughorn stands happily at the head of the classroom, moustache twitching and hands clasped. He had proclaimed that he wasn't going to tell us _what_ we were brewing until the end of class, and that if anyone figured it out sooner (Lily), could they _please_ keep it to themselves. 'Nah...mine smells like rain and, I don't know, _pine trees-'_

'Oh,' Brant says suddenly, dropping his ladle into the cauldron and blinking hard down at it. ' _Oh._ For fucks sake'.

I finish stirring mine and do the same, the smell of trees only growing stronger. And there was a _hint_ of library books in there, like the smell of an old, worn book when you crack it open. 'What?' I ask, frowning at him. Around us students buzz about, sweating over their potions. It was probably the hardest one we had ever had to make. 'Have you figured out what it is?'

'Can't tell you,' Brant says, going back to stirring his potion with a hard frown on his ever so slightly pale face. He glances up to the matching blonde twins in front of us, both of whom were talking to each other quickly in what Brant and I had dubbed as 'twin speak'.

I shrug. 'Whatever'.

With a quick glance over to the Marauders, I spy out Remus looking down at his own potion with a furrowed brow a small smile. James, on the other hand, was looking from Lily Evans to his own potion, fighting a large grin. Said girl had her head grasped in her hands, her red hair a frizzy mess atop her head. She looked...quite _horrified_ , really. Vanity was stirring her own potion, face blank and brow quirked. Pettigrew and Sirius...well, they both were sniffing their potion so much I was surprised they hadn't inhaled it.

' _Oh!'_ I gasp suddenly, realising exactly _what_ we were brewing. Of _course_ mine smelt like rain and trees. 'Oh, _right'._

'Figured it out?' inquires Brant, voice a little less excited than it had been before. I wondered, briefly, _who_ we knew that smelt so strongly of weed and cologne. It couldn't _still_ be...

'Yup!' I reply brightly. He grumbles and nods, and I turn once again toward Remus. My _boyfriend._ He's looking to me, too, and as his half-smile, I can only assume (or fucking hope, otherwise I will _kill him)_ he is smelling me in his cauldron too.

'That'll be all, ladies and gentleman!' Slughorn booms from the head of the classroom. 'Now, can _anyone_ tell me what it is I have had you brewing for the lesson - _anyone?'_ He looks about the classroom to the numerous raised hands with a frozen smile, looking half put-out that his favourite, red haired prefect wasn't raising her arm eagerly. '...Well. Mister Zaveri?'

Brant lowers him arm, the swot, and says, 'Amortentia, Professor. The most powerful love potion in the world'.

Slughorn beams. 'Excellent. Ten points to Ravenclaw!' With that, he beams at the sudden buzz as student who hadn't figured it out stare in wonder at their potions. 'Now, can anyone else tell me an interesting fact about this complex potion?'

Remus's hand slowly flies into the air and, once again, Slughorn looks away from the stoic Lily Evans. The girls appears to be having some kind of breakdown as Marlene rubs her back slowly. With one sly look toward James, I note that he's staring at her back with a quizzical expression. _Two guesses what hers smells like._ 'Yes, Mister Lupin'.

Remus speaks slowly, as he always did in public. 'It smells of what, or _who_ , you're most attracted to, Professor'.

' _Brilliant_ answer, Mister Lupin! Ten points to Gryffindor! Would you mind sharing with the class an _example?'_ Slughorn grins, and I watch the calm look on Remus's face slowly melt to one of embarrassed annoyance. The news of our odd relationship had spread quickly throughout our year, and I had received filthy looks that morning at breakfast from my Housemates. Sirius snorts from behind him, breaking James from his stupor. The two, very maturely, begin to giggle with each other like idiots. 'Er-' Remus coughs, as the class shuffles and laughs. ' _Sure_. Mine smells like...er, firewhiskey...books...and, um, floral perfume. Like orange blossom'.

I grin slowly and look down at my desk, as numerous eyes seem to fly toward me. _Don't fucking blush. Merlin, he is ruining your rep._ _Aqua Manda_ perfume. Muggle made. The main ingredient: orange blossom. Next to me, Brant snorts and mutters, 'Quit grinning, you loony. You look soft'.

Class is dismissed, and I pause only to peck Remus lightly on the stubbled cheek and tell him, 'Mine smelt of rain and trees. And _books_ , too'.

A few classmates pass us with horror stricken looks (A Gryffindor and a _Slytherin?!)_ but we pay them no mind. The Marauders merely wander passed us with slick grins and whispered words. 'Me, I hope?' Remus drawls, cocking a dark brow.

'No,' I quip. 'Some Hufflepuff seventh year I fancy'.

He rolls his eyes and pushes me toward the classroom door whilst slinging his bag across his form 'You are _not_ funny'.

'Be _nice,'_ I murmur, nudging him in the side as we prepare to go our separate ways, to our separate groups of friends. 'Or I won't give you a night like last night _again'._

* * *

 ** _Hello!_ The reviews are, as always, amazing. I'm so enjoying this build of their relationship. I am so in love with this story. Thank you everyone who is reviewing every chapter, I can't believe how quickly they're coming in! Happy belated 4th July to all the Americans out there! Also my tumblr is qarlgrimes - come and say hello! Also, thank you to the Tumblr user who gave me the idea of using a Stick 'n poke tattoo in this story!**


	29. We Protect Our Own

_You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life_ \- **Winston Churchill**

* * *

 _February 5th 1977_

 _3:45 PM_

* * *

It was...odd.

Over the last week, Vanity had taken to waiting for me after any class we shared, a bored expression on her face and her brow quirking when I, undoubtedly, wandered out late. On the days that I shared a class with my Ravenclaw friends or Gryffindor boyfriend, she would disappear, dragon hide back swinging at her side. Sometimes, I would leave Brant and the twins with an apologetic smile, or Remus with a solid kiss to the mouth and a promise that I would meet him in the library later. _Just_ to catch up with her.

Today, though, I've decided to ask her why the hell she's such a stand-offish weirdo whenever my friends are present. We leave Defence (a class we share with a majority of the Ravenclaws), and I leave Brant, Edith and Endrew with a promise to see them tomorrow afternoon in Potions, if not _maybe_ later. The class was pretty buzzing as we all milled out, mainly because we had started learning the theory of the Patronus Charm. Apparently Dumbledore was pushing for us to learn it faster.

'Oi'. Vanity turns, halfway down the corridor, and I hurry up to the beautiful Slytherin. 'Wait up, will you?'

She complies, but immediately starts walking again once I catch up to her. The Slytherins and Ravenclaws go their separate ways at the end of the corridor, and I hear Endrew loudly proclaiming that his Patronus is probably going to be a _fucking slug or something._ 'I didn't think you would want to join me. It _is_ a free period now, you know. Your friends have one too, Lola'. She gives me a sceptical, sideways glance.

I, in return, throw her a _filthy_ look. 'I'm not a fucking idiot, Vanity-' I stop, blink, and then look away from her to blink straight ahead. There is a beat of silence as we walk, the soft hum of our Housemates buzzing around us. 'You called me Lola'. I look at her from the corner of my eye. _Well...well._

She looks momentarily perplexed herself, but quickly, changes the expression on her face to one of arrogance. Huffing, she says, 'I _know._ We spend enough time with each other now, _don't_ we? We are practically _friends._ I would permit you to call me Emma, if you so wish'. She sniffs and adjusts her bag, dark skirt swishing about her knees. Of _course_ she would keep it regulation length.

I practically choke on my own tongue. 'Okay... _Emma'._ She inclines her head slightly, face a mask of sternness. '...Would you like to come with me and my friends? We'll most likely just sit in the Great Hall and play Exploding Snap, or something dumb like that-'

She nods and stops. 'That sounds agreeable. I don't really know where we were walking to, anyway'. Around us, our fellow Slytherins overtake us. 'I don't really enjoy spending time in our dorm or the Common Room, during the day. It's just _asking_ for the duller, stupider ones in our House to hex us, or worse. Shall we?' I nod dumbly and turn on my heel with her, as we make our way toward the Great Hall where, undoubtedly, my friends had wandered off to. 'Are you still with that Lupin, then?'

I roll my eyes. 'Yes, Van... _Emma_. You've asked me everyday since you found out. The answer isn't likely to change for a while. You and Jone are as bad as each other, you know'.

She throws me a smirk and I realise my mistake quickly. ' _For a while._ So, you don't expect the relationship to _last_ then?'

I sigh very loudly, attracting the attention of a few Gryffindor fifth years who are running late to their next lesson. At the joint glare of Emma and I (I won't _ever_ get used to calling her that), they throw us a few nasty looks. 'I never _said_ that. Unlike most of the girls in our House, I don't start planning my bloody wedding the moment I get with a guy-'

She actually quirks a small, teasing smile then, as we round the corner. 'Ah, but I know you've never _had_ a boyfriend. There was that _Prewett,'_ she says the name with a small amount of distaste. 'The one you would _screw_ all over the castle. And then, of course, the not-so-secretive fumbling you and Zaveri used to do in third and fourth year. At least _he_ comes from a good background. I suppose Lupin is at least _intelligent._ Still, he does hang around with Potter, Black and that _drooling_ Pettigrew. I swear, every time a girls leans over her desk and exposes even the tiniest bit of their chest, he's practically _hyperventilating_ -'

I laugh out loud at that. 'Pettigrew _is_ a dick. Don't worry, be as harsh about _him_ as you want'. I catch her curious look and offer an explanation. 'He was... _unkind_ to Brant-'

' _Oh._ Of course. I heard about you charging up to their Gryffindor dorm and jinxing the lot of them. Something about a rumour spreading about Zaveri?' I nod and huff, to which she clicks her tongue and looks straight ahead once again. 'I honestly don't know what he sees in _Black_. Our families knew each other growing up, from the various _galas,_ and he's an arrogant little twerp. His younger _brother_ is no better-'

'But still _good,'_ I push, pressing my elbow lightly into her side. 'He _tries_ to be good - to be unlike his family-'

'I _know,'_ she presses. 'I'm... _trying._ Father is, too. I think seeing what the world is turning into, and what hatred towards people like _you_ can bring...it scared him. Scares _me._ I wouldn't want you to _die_ because of your blood, Lola'.

I stare at her, slightly taken aback. _What the fucking shit. This is bloody weird._ 'Well...thanks, Emma'.

She nods once.

When we enter the Great Hall, there's a small smattering of students spread about. I head over quickly to my three best friends, Emma at my side, and throw them a large, shit-eating grin when they all look up from their textbooks. Endrew looks bloody _flabbergasted._ 'Hi,' I greet, settling onto the bench beside Brant, as Emma slides in easily next to me. She looks slightly intrigued to be sitting at the Ravenclaw table.

'...Hello,' Brant says slowly, giving me a hard look. 'We're revising'.

Edith, from the other side of the table, tuts at Brant and leans away from her Transfiguration textbook. 'Hello,' she greets calmly, looking past me to Emma. _Thank Merlin for Edith._ 'I'm Edith Bandini, I don't _think_ we've ever actually spoken?'

Emma folds her arms over her chest, back straight and legs crossed neatly beneath the table. 'We haven't, no. You _did_ throw a Bat Bogey Hex at me in fourth year, though. And _you're_ Endrew Bandini. You sent a Tripping Jinx at me last year'. She pauses and watches their faces colour slightly, a slight smirk fighting its way across her face.

'Not like you didn't bloody deserve it,' I snort. 'Stop being a bitch'.

She sends me an affronted look at her. 'I am _not-'_

'You are,' I cut in. 'Now-'

And then, Brant cuts in. My beautiful, lovely saviour of a best friend. Leaning over the table slightly to look at her over my form, Brant addresses my Housemate and newfound...friend. 'Hey, Vanity. I'm sorry to hear about you being cut from the Slytherin team and everything. Bloody unfair that they pushed you off like that. It was obvious Slughorn didn't want you off-'

Emma, eloquent as ever, nods lightly in reply, her long blonde hair falling like a curtain over her shoulders. Endrew practically faints at the mere sight of her, still probably reeling over the fact that she knew his _name_. 'It was easier, I suppose,' she drawls. _Slytherin. Never one to show weakness._ 'They would have most likely pushed me _off_ my broom if Slughorn hadn't chucked me from the team. I was a shitty Captain this year, anyway'. She had told me this already, the week before. From her teammates ignoring her requests, to Slughorn advising her that, for her own safety, he would have to scrap her from the team.

Brant, ever the calm one, nods and shrugs. 'All the same, I'm sorry. They're suffering without you'.

Emma actually leans forward a little at that, her interest piking. 'I saw. The fact they lost to _Gryffindor_ says a lot. Wood is a good Captain, and all, but Slytherin was aimed to win this season. _You lot_ might even win, if you play your cards right'.

Endrew and Edith watch the exchange with slack jaw and wide, blue eyes. Stuck between Brant and Emma, I quirk my brow at the twins in a manner that says _see?_ In reply, Edith merely smiles a small smile and goes back to her book, whereas Endrew stares at Emma Vanity like she is the most beautiful, exotic thing that he has ever seen, and he seems _annoyed_ about this fact. Huh, maybe he didn't enjoy fancying a _snake._

I think that's the beginning of when our four slowly starts to become a five.

* * *

 _February 6th 1977_

 _6:01 PM_

* * *

'Do I really smell like _Firewhiskey_?' I inquire, sitting cross legged on the bed opposite him, my wand in one hand and a thick textbook balanced on my lap. The thick red drapes surround us like a canopy, and I thank Merlin that Remus had cast a Warming Charm within the confines of it. With a slick smile his way, I had _then_ cast a Silencing Charm.

Just in case.

Remus looks up from his own textbook, gaze hooded and topping heavy, tired bags. His own shorter wand was grasped in his fist, as he muttered slow incantations under his breath. A teasing half-smile graces his face and he lowers his wand. 'Most likely a reminder of every time I saw you, before I actually started to talk to you, you would be _drunk_ -'

'I was _not-'_

'I mean, first year doesn't count. We were _eleven._ Third year there was that party for Wormtail's fourteenth - you came in that stupid red dress and lipstick'. He snorts at my mortified look. I had thought I was so _grown up_ in that short _monstrosity_. 'You and Zaveri drank a whole bottle of Firewhiskey between you, and then spent the whole time throwing up in seventh year dorms-'

'Yes, I _remember,'_ I snap, cheeks burning. Merlin, I was a fucking _embarrassment._ Then again, I would likely look back on my actions of being sixteen (mostly my drunken rambling to Remus) and feel mortified all over again. 'But _really?_ The smell that is supposed to represent your utter _attraction_ to me, and it's fucking _Firewhiskey,_ Remus?'

He continues to smile at me, legs crossed and sandy hair a disarray. It's getting longer, I notice, and curling around his ears and over his forehead. 'I think it's quite fitting, really'. Idly, he adjusts his baggy jumper on his shoulder and throws me a moody look. 'What about you? I smell like _rain._ How masculine is _that?_ You're so bloody _corny-'_

'And books,' I grumble.

At that, he blinks and holds his smile. 'And you'.

After a moment of us blinking at each other with equally nauseatingly mushy smiles, I snort and glance down to my book. 'Stop looking at me like that, idiot'. He merely scoffs in return and goes back to looking at his own book. 'Have you started learning the Patronus Charm in Defence, yet? I'm honestly scared mine is going to end up being a _fish_ or something-' I look up, only to find him half listening/half looking distressed as _fuck. '_ What?' I ask sharply.

An entirely flippant expression is slapped onto his face as he blinks back at me. 'What?'

I frown. 'Don't pull that shit with me. What's wrong? The moment I mentioned my Patronus, you went all weird-' I cut myself off and narrow my hazel eyes. 'Have you already _cast_ yours?'

Remus looks at me like I'm an idiot. 'Merlin, _no._ Pads, Prongs, Wormtail and I have practised a bit...Not a _corporeal_ ones, anyway...'

I actually laugh in shock. 'What! We've only just started learning the _theory_ of a Patronus, Remus! _When_ the bloody hell did you guys start practising this?' He blinks and actually fucking _blushes._

'...Last year'.

I shake my head, amazed. 'And you're almost casting a full one? Let me _see_ '.

He begins to protest, a panicked expression whipping across his face, and I almost let him not do it. _Why is he being so fucking weird?_ At my pestering, he sighs and raises his wand a little higher, breathes in deeply, before casting it in a straight line and saying clearly, ' _Expecto Patronum!'_ A silvery, white mist shoots from the end of his wand, shimmering and dancing across the expanse between us in our little red alcove. I blink at it, watching in interest as it flickers, a half-mass shape forming between us, the size of a dog but _so_ faint, before disappearing.

I let out a deep breath. I had only ever seen my Dad's Patronus before, and that had only been a few times growing up. His was a large Brown Bear, probably the coolest fucking Patronus _ever._ But seeing Remus's...it sounds tacky as fuck, but it was an imprint of his _soul._ Seeing it, ever unfinished, had been...fucking _cool._ 'Wow,' I mutter, gaze flickering away from the empty space and back to him. 'Why do you look so fucked _off_ about it?' I ask gently, frowning at him.

His looks _angry._ With a deep sigh, he drops his wand onto the bed and huffs. 'Pads and Prongs have cast corporeal ones, you know that? Pete hasn't. Can't even get a wisp out. Prongs has a Stag. Sirius has a dog. They're brilliant - don't look _so_ surprised. Smartest in the year, probably. I thought, for a bit, that mine looked like a dog or something, but...' He sucks in a deep, frustrated breath and casts his dark, amber gaze on me. 'Pads pointed out that it looks like a wolf'.

I breath in at that. _Fuck, that's why he looks so angry at the prospect of his Patronus._ 'A wolf?' I repeat, biting the inside of my cheek in thought. Remus stares hard back at me. 'So...not a _werewolf?'_

He sighs and throws me an exasperated look. 'Lola-'

I throw my hands in the air. 'No, I'm trying to _not_ be a dick! It's just...wolves are _cool._ Edith's into all of that symbol and _meaning_ shit, and aren't wolves supposed to be all family, loyalty, bravery, and spiritual shit? I mean, Remus, of _course_ I know why you hate it. But you _shouldn't._ Because that's _you,_ isn't it? Fierce and gentle and all of that-' I sigh in frustration, close my eyes, and then open them and stare back at him with a hard look. 'What I'm trying to say is, you don't _know_ what it is yet. The fact that you're casting an almost _corporeal_ Patronus is fucking _metal_. Only _good_ can cast a Patronus, so _stop_ thinking you're this epitome of _evil-'_

He shakes his head, eyes sad. 'It'll draw attention to me. A fucking _wolf,_ Lo-'

'Whatever attention is drawn to you in _any_ manner concerning your furry little problem, the others and I will weave the most brilliant lie'. I shuffle onto my knees, the bed moving underneath me. The book slides from my lap onto his red sheets, complete with a red blanket I assume his mother must have knitted him. 'I am a _Slytherin._ We protect our own, despite popular opinion, and I'll be fucked if any small-minded _shits_ will hold you back from being as brilliant as you're supposed to be because you go a little nuts once a month. I mean, I do _too_ '.

He blinks and smiles and my heart fucking _breaks._ 'You have an oddly brilliant way with words, despite your horrendous language,' he comments lightly, uncrossing his legs and catching me by the wrist to tug me forward.

I giggle (fucking _giggle)_ and shuffle along to bed so that I settle, after a bit of fumbling, on his thighs, my calves either side of him. Pressing a kiss to his long nose, I pull away and rest my bum on his crotch. With a smile, I watch his eyes darken in that _lovely_ way. 'It's true, though. I know that Sirius, James and Pettigrew have been telling you the same for years'.

'You could call him _Peter'._

I frown, face just a little higher than his. '...Eventually'. He huffs out a sigh. '...You have some freckles, don't you? I never really noticed that'. I press a painted fingernail against one of the light freckles that sits near his scar. I frown, finger trailing it. With sharp eyes, he watches my expression. 'I might tell my parents about us next week, when I write them. Is it okay if I tell them about... about Moony?'

He practically takes in all of the air in the room, he takes in such a _deep_ fucking breath. I lean back, hands resting on his chest, and chew on my lip. His expression flits between utterly panicked and frustrated. I frown even deeper when his hands tighten on where they held my waist. 'I don't...' He coughs and, without seemingly meaning to, reaches one hand up to brush a wiry curl from my face. I flush at the contact. _All this affection is going to bloody end me. Normally Fabian and I would have a quickie somewhere and be done with it. I'm not used to this._ 'Are you sure you _want_...to?'

I pull a face. '...Well, I wouldn't have bloody asked, would I?'

He drops his hand back to my waist. 'I mean...do you _want_ to...' He struggles again, Adams Apple bobbing and eyes dropping from my face to his lap. I go cold with mortification, my own hands dropping from his chest.

'Oh'. I blink and, as per-usual, feel the same anger that builds up in me when rejected. It's a pretty bad part of my personality, truth be told. Probably a little bratty. Oh, well. 'You're worried we won't last that long. No. Right. Stupid of me. I mean, if you're having doubts then of _course_ you don't want needless people knowing about your furry little problem. I assumed too quickly-' I go to move off of him, face burning and _merlin you're stupid you're so stupid that was far too much of a step to take._

He grabs me quickly, hands tightening on my waist and pulling me closer to him. My school skirt rises at the act. 'I'm not talking about _me_ , you daft idiot!' He snaps, seemingly actually _frustrated_ with _me._ 'You _still_ haven't run yet!'

For sucks sake, is that phrase going to be our _thing?_

I groan _loudly,_ head lolling back as I roll my eyes to the fucking heavens. 'For _fucks_ sake, Remus-!'

'I know, I know - _you say you won't._ But do you _really_ want to introduce me to your _parents-?'_

I whack him on the chest and glower. 'I am the product of two very cool, very _accepting_ people. My mother is a muggle and most likely won't understand what the fuck you are, and will comfort the situation by offering you a beer or some other alcoholic beverage or _lots_ of food. My father will act like he's _so cool with it_ that it'll actually make the situation _uncomfortable_ after a while. My brother will most likely want to ask you every question about werewolves _ever_ -'

He shakes his head, face mystified an angry. 'I'm sure they will be _completely_ okay with their daughter spending so much time with a monster who could _kill her-'_

I, once again, push his chest. 'Could you? Go on then, Remus. Try and hurt me. _No?_ Oh, _that's_ a fucking shocker. You _won't._ Because you're not a fucking _werewolf_ all of the time! I don't _care_ what people think! If my parents take a while to come to terms with it, then fuck them! I mean, they _won't._ They'll probably be shocked, but I'm not sure anything surprises them concerning me anymore,' I add hastily. 'I _want_ you to meet them and know that you deserve a normal life, dude. Fucking hell'.

His shoulders slump and he nods. '...Okay'.

I frown and peer at him. 'I won't tell them if you don't want me to, Remus. I can wait. I _really_ don't mind'. I sometimes wonder what my friends would say if they could see me being like this with him. I even surprised myself with how patient I was; with how much I fucking _cared_ about him. I mean, sure, sometimes I wanted to fucking _slap_ him for being so self-deprecating. 'Yeah?'

With a frown, he gazes at me and nods. 'I'll _meet_ them, of course. I mean...my mum can't bloody _wait_ to meet you. Pads started yapping about how much I fucking fancied you to her on the Platform at Christmas'. I go fucking _maroon_ at that. _Merlin. Meeting parents. Gosh. Fuck. That's...terrifying. '..._ You don't mind?'

I roll my eyes. 'Of course I fucking don't. Now, come here. First fight and all'. With that, he grins and complies to the kiss I plant on him his lips, hands curling more around my waist and pulling me flush against him. I smile and shift on his lap, earning a small groan from him as I swallow it whole, eager to get as close to him as I could. I'd waited bloody _months_ to get to this point with him, where he would allow me to kiss him without running away. Maybe, _finally,_ I could get in his pants-

'Moony! Lola!'

I pull away from him and huff, as he sighs and rests his forehead against my chest in defeat. ' _What?'_ I snap, to who sounds like James Potter as he slams open the dorm door.

'Silencing Charm,' Remus grumbles in reminder. I huff and clamber off of him, waddling across the feather bed and poking my head through the red drapes. As Remus _adjusts_ himself behind me, I give the red faced James a pointed look as he pants in the doorway of the boys dorm. There's a slight pop in my ears as the Silencing Charm that once surrounded the bed is broken.

'Wormtail and Pads are in detention, but guess _what?_ Lily said she _loved_ the present I got her for her birthday!' He practically sings the words, hands running frantically through his straight, sticking up hair. I actually pull an impressed face at his announcement. ' _Loved_ it! You know, the First Edition copy of To Kill A Hummingbird-'

'It's To Kill A _Mockingbird_ , dumbo-'

Remus scrambles over to me and pokes his head out also, except he's crouched beneath me. I practically fall off of the bed at the speed of which he crawls to crouch beside me. 'You actually _got_ her that?!' He snaps, cutting me off.

James looks slowly from my face, down to Remus's. '...You _told_ me it would be a good present, Moony! If you hadn't had your tongue shoved so far down Lola's throat, _maybe_ you would have seen her reaction when I _gave_ it to her on her _birthday._ She just came up to me now, in the Common Room, to thank me again-'

'I _was_ there. _Padfoot_ was the one getting off with Sewell-'

'Oh, yeah-'

'So, she liked it?' I inquire, opening the drapes and giggling when Remus nearly tumbles off of the bed. ' _First Edition?_ That must have cost you a bomb'.

'Why would it cost me a _bomb?'_ James asks in return, eyeing me as I hop off of the bed in my loose school shirt, skirt and bare feet. Behind me, Remus huffs and moves to sit on the bed, legs hanging off of the side. 'I don't _own_ any bombs-'

Remus loosens his red and gold tie and chucks it onto the bed. I attempt to not do a double take at the sight of him with two buttons undone. _You've seen him topless, you mess. Control your boner._ 'It's a muggle saying, Prongs. It means it cost you a lot'.

'Oh'. I roll my eyes and begin sliding my shoes onto my feet and search for my school jumper and robes. The copious amounts of socks and boxers causes my stomach to fucking _turn._ Boys are gross.'Oh, well. _Anything_ for the future Mrs Potter'. I roll my eyes and refrain from telling James that he's being all kinds of creepy. 'Hey, Lola, is Vanity available or what?'

I plop onto the bed beside Remus and begin pulling my found shoes and socks on. With a dubious stare at James, I narrow my eyes and ask, 'She is. _Why?'_ Remus quietly snorts and prods my sheep covered socks, to which James looks slowly back and forth at us again with a slightly ill expression on his face. _Oh, fuck. I am not going to be the gross couple._ Sobering slightly, I plant the ever-common Lola Glare on my face and ask again, ' _Why,_ James?'

He shrugs idly, blinking away the look. 'Wormtail wanted to know'.

'Ha. _That's_ not going to happen'. I drop my feet onto the carpet and stare up at James with Remus beside me. 'She's getting better at _not_ being a judgemental _Slytherin,_ but she will _never_ date or screw a Gryffindor. Let alone _Pettigrew'._

James sighs and rolls his hazel eyes, arms crossing. 'Would it kill you to call him Peter?'

' _Probably_ ,' Remus interjects, stretching his long legs out. I throw him a withering look, to which he merely grins at.

'Anyway, since yesterday, she's staying far away from _anyone_ other than myself, Jone, Brant and the twins. There's word of some nasty prank coming our way, and it's made her paranoid as hell'. I roll my eyes and fight a yawn. 'She keeps putting up these mental wards around our beds before we go to sleep and the others get back to the dorm. It's kind of _nice,_ when you think about it-'

'A _Slytherin_ prank?' cuts in James.

At the same time, Remus snaps, 'What _kind_ of prank?'

I shrug idly. _Men. Why are they so fucking quick to get all panicky and aggressive? Actually, not just men. **Gryffindor** men. Brawn over brain, these lot. Fucking idiots._ 'I dunno. Regulus Black warned me-'

 _'He what?'_ James interjects harshly.

I look at him and blink with a slow, bored look. 'He warned me'.

'I'm not one to jump to conclusions,' Remus says quietly beside me, hand coming to rest on my thigh. I throw him a bland look. _There's his softly spoken, I am being slightly patronising tone._ ' _But..._ Slytherins like Regulus can't be trusted, Lola. We _know_ him-'

'You shouldn't say Slytherin like it's an _insult,_ you know,' I point out. 'I _am_ one. There was nothing _sinister_ behind him warning me, so quit looking at me like that, James. I'm not an idiot. I've lived with them for the past six years. And, in all honesty, not once was Regulus one to throw a hex, jinx or curse my way. He's one of the... _half_ alright ones-'

'He's a fucking Death Eater in the making, is what he is,' James says roughly. 'He never stuck up for Padfoot _once_ when his horrible mother-' He cuts himself off at Remus's look, and I automatically feel stupid. Of _course_ Regulus was a dick. How could I try and defend him, even though he had warned me of impending pranks? And... _nothing_ had happened since he had warned me. Perhaps it was a ploy, to make me paranoid so he could watch Emma and I suffer. I _had_ pulled the same trick on the Marauders. 'Just...don't trust him'.

I frown and nod. ' _Okay_ , dude. I won't'.

Remus smirks. 'Good girl'.

'I'll _smite_ you,' I snap, earning a loud snort from James. 'C'mon, I've gotta go and meet Emma. Hey, James, do you think you could run into my Charms class as your stag tomorrow so I don't have to do this _boring_ theory work'.

'Hell _yes-'_

'Prongs, _no'._

How wrong I had been. About Regulus Black, I mean. Sorry, that was pretty unclear. Anyway. There would come a time, only a _short_ time from now, where I would trust every word that poor, lost boy told me.

But it would be too late.

Time would interfere in the worst of ways.

* * *

 **Hello from dreary Wales! I miss uni :'( Thank you so much for the reviews, guys! I can't believe we're almost at 300! Anyway, I hope you don't think I'm blagging on the werewolf thing, but I can't help but feel Remus would forever be paranoid about it. And, whilst Lola is fast moving and overly confident everything will be fine, he's adamant her parents won't accept him. Which, y'know, is fair. He's expecting hate.**

 **And the Regulus foreshadowing, _whaaaat?_**

 **Tumblr is qarlgrimes, come and say hello!**


	30. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOLA!

_No one was my master – but I might be master of everything, if I wished, if I dared -_ **Sarah J Maas**

* * *

 _February 14th 1977_

 _8:45 AM_

* * *

'Happy _Birthday!'_

Almost every fucking head in the Great Hall turns as I wander in with Emma at my side, flushing a very lovely shade of red from both anger and embarrassment at Brant's shout. He's sitting on the end of the Ravenclaw table, for once, nearest to the entrance to the Hall. Edith and Endrew sit either side of him, grins splashed across their faces. Opposite them, looking very small, is an annoyed looking Jone.

Emma quickly leaves my side to sit beside him, most likely to comfort him and assure him that, yes, Lola's Ravenclaw friends _are_ fucking mental.

I grin and start for table, having already spoken to Remus the day before as he helped me with my Defence essay on Patronuses (I was fucking _struggling)_ and explained that it would be difficult for me to spread my time between my friends, so what if we spent my first free period of the day (second period, then I had Charms, _then_ I had another free. Fucking _groovy)_ and celebrate together. In a corner. Where we could make out.

He agreed, funnily enough.

'Happy Birthday _and_ Valentines Day, cherub,' Brant says, grinning as he dumps a square package on the table. Edith and Endrew quickly do the same and, to my surprise, Jone and Emma dump their own pristine wrapped package onto the table, avoiding the eggs and bacon. I shift under the attention, never one for shouting about my Birthday, and unwrap Brant's first.

'Mirrors,' I deadpan, holding the two, small square mirrors in my hands. Emma raises an impressed brow. _Am I missing something?_

'So you can see how ugly you are,' Brant says seriously, before grinning and shaking his head. 'Nah, only joking. Their _Two-Way Mirrors._ I got the idea from Black and Potter. I can see you, and you can see me. We can talk to each other when we're at home, or over the holidays. Or when you _undoubtedly_ get detention. I saw Black with it and asked what it was. Turns out him and Potter hair a pair-'

'I thought you weren't talking to that douche,' Endrew cuts in, light brow furrowed.

Brant shrugs. 'He said sorry, didn't he?'

' _Mine_ next,' Edith presses, throwing Endrew a pointed sideways glance. I thank Brant quickly, still stumped at how _brilliant_ his gift was. I unwrap Edith's small present and roll my eyes, grinning and thanking her for the Spell-Checking Quill she had got me. Endrew's gift was a little less serious: a book on every spell to do now that I was of age, and what mayhem it could cause. I laugh and tell him I would be testing most of them on _him._

I take the present from Emma and Jone with a worried expression. Merlin, what if she had got me something entirely _weird_ and pureblood? Jone insists quickly that he didn't help choose it, but his parents had sent him some money to contribute. As I unwrap it, Emma watches me with a blank expression, but I note the way she fiddles with her perfectly manicured fingernails.

'Oh'. It's a small, circular thing, encased by a golden strap and stand. I had seen it before, in Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment, and had fallen in love with it. 'The Globe of the Moon'. I look up and blink at her, nearly laughing hysterically at the dust of pink that coats her cheeks. 'This is brilliant, Emma. I've wanted this for ages, how did you-'

She shrugs daintily. 'I always see you looking at that moving book - the one with the stars and planets on it. And, of course, you're utterly besotted with Astronomy, no matter how much you try to hide it. It tells you of lunar activity, apparently, and the phases of the moon. You see the shadow cast over it? I mean, it's not very big, as there's a full moon in a few days. I thought you would find it... _interesting_ -'

'More than! Holy shit, _thank you'._ I swallow and nod to Jone also. 'And you, twerp'. He grins toothily, albeit a little sarcastically, and starts proclaiming loudly that the Ravenclaw spread of food was _far_ better than the Slytherin one. Emma nods in reply and reaches for the bowl of boiled eggs, whilst Edith sends her a happy sideways glance.

'Seventeen,' Endrew comments, stuffing his face with bacon. 'Mental. That'll be Edith and I in May. You lot are so lucky,' he grumbles to Emma, Brant and I. 'Oh, Lola, post'.

I catch the parcel that is dumped onto my lap by my less than intelligent family owl, and the letters too. There's some from my distant family and Aunt, and a rather sappy one from my mother and father saying how proud they are of me (it's spattered with tears, and I'm quite sure that's because of my dad) now that I'm of age. I grin happily at the present - my late paternal Grandmother's small, sliver watch. It was usually wizards who got them on their seventeenth birthday, but Grandma Elsa had said fuck it to _that_ and bought herself a rather fancy, magical watch that was decorated with stars. Now, it was _mine._

'Oooh, _pretty,'_ Edith coos, leaning over the table to look at the silver watch. 'Brant, help her put it on!'

At the end of breakfast, I'm greeted by the large grins of the Marauders as we leave the Great Hall at the same time. Emma, much to my amusement, huffs and hangs back to walk beside Edith, who looks quite startled to be talking to the Slytherin. _Man, she really hates Gryffindors._ As we exit the Great Hall, with Remus planting a kiss on my cheek and Sirius shoving an arm over my shoulder, I cringe at the hundreds of pink and red frilly decorations that decorate the corridors. Fucking _Valentines Day._

'Happy _Valentines Day,'_ Remus grins, walking by my side to the dungeons.

' _And_ , Moony?' Sirius pushes, grinning wolfishly over to his friend.

' _And_ Birthday. My, aren't you a spoiled _witch,'_ Remus says, a smirk on his face and his skin just that little but paler. The full moon was coming, that much was easy to see. I huff at him, and just catch the sight of James walking up to Lily Evans, giving her what looks like a muggle card, and then smiling and walking away. Huh, that was pretty different from any other year, when he would make a bouquet of flowers burst from her goblet and nearly scare the shit out of her.

'You're like _Aphrodite,_ the Goddess of _love_ and _beauty-!'_

'I will _literally_ kill you, Sirius,' I snap, shoving his arm off of my shoulder and joining my hand with Remus's. After a few weeks of going out, I was _totally_ starting to get this couple thing, you know.

'So, Moony,' Pettigrew asks, scurrying to walk beside Sirius. 'How does it feel to be dating an older woman?'

Sirius bellow out a laugh. 'Hey, Prongs! Wormtail made a funny!'

As the boy in question joins us, I look desperately over my shoulder to where Brant and Endrew walk, who are apparently quite interested in the fact that Emma and Edith are having a full blown conversation. The two duck close together, interested amused expressions on their faces as they watch Edith struggle to keep up with Emma's vocabulary.

It's quite nice to see Edith flustered, to be honest.

'Do you still want to spend second period together?' Remus asks, tugging me a little to the right to lean more against him. His hand is warm in mine, and I whip my head around to look up at him with an expression that says _duh._ As Sirius pats James on the back for not doing some stupid display of affection for Lily Evans, Remus smirks. ' _Okay,_ then. Would you _also_ like to partner up with me in Potions?'

I think for a moment, then shake my head. 'Nope'. He rolls his eyes. 'I _suppose_ I can. Edith can go with Emma, and Brant can go with Endrew. Hey,' I add quietly, finger intertwining tighter with his. 'How are you feeling today?'

Three days until the full moon.

He shrugs, head dipping and shoulder hunching. I swear, he just _kept growing_. 'Wired. Didn't sleep much last night. But that _doesn't matter._ Today is about you. _Cougar_ ,' he grins.

'I am a _month_ older than you'.

'Whatever you say, Grandma'.

I hit him solidly on the arm, to which he merely laughs at.

Our Potions lesson is a bit of a bore, with Remus shifting next to me about every five minutes, and Endrew and Brant accidentally setting their table on _fire._ We weren't even making a potion, just so you know. They're just fucking _idiots._ Sirius and James sit idly behind us, poking me every so often and promising that they and Pettigrew had got me a bottle of Firewhiskey that Remus would give me when we went to the dorm in our free.

'We'll, er, go to the _library_ or something,' Sirius says. James aims a very large wink at Remus, who merely sighs and turns away with a bland expression. I fight back a smile at the look.

'I _saw_ that,' I say, throwing them an incredulous look. 'You are _not subtle'._

I can practically _feel_ the tension radiating off of Remus during the lesson, as Slughorn bangs on and on about Felix Felicis and it's many ingredients. We were most likely going to be making it next week, something of which I fucking _dreaded._ It sounds harder than the love potion had been, and _that_ had nearly broken Brant and I.

Growing more and more bored, I find myself watching Remus write with his standard quill, as I test out my Spell-Check Quill. Halfway through writing my notes and misspelling almost every word on purpose, only to have the letters fly across the page to correct themselves, Remus leans toward me and I murmurs, 'Are you even paying attention?'

I throw him a bored look and shake my head. It was my _Birthday._ I was _allowed_ to not pay attention, okay? Also, I was half wondering what Remus could have possibly got me. Hm. Maybe there was something under those _robes_ he was going to present me with. Merlin, how could one person look so ridiculously fucking attractive just _writing_? I was turning into a fucking hormonal _mess_ with him. Screw Fabian's hotness, all I wanted was the lanky, scarred and moody looking Remus Lupin-

' _Stop it,'_ he grinds out. I blink, realising I had been staring at the side of his sandy haired head practically _drooling. Good God girl, get a grip_. To my utter delight, his quill was pressed so hard against his parchment that there was a large, black stain blooming next to the word _and._ He throws me a look, eyes darting to my lap, and I realise to my utter fucking _mortification_ that he can _smell me._

I squeeze my legs involuntarily and Remus stiffens, his amber gaze illustrating how much he probably wants to fucking throttle me. Slyly, I grin and kick his foot lightly underneath the table. In return, he ducks his head and turns ever-so-slightly away from me, his sandy curls dipping about his face to hide my gaze form his.

 _The full moon was coming, and so was super horny Remus._

I stretch and scribble idly, smiling when Marlene and Lily catch my gaze and mouth _Happy Birthday_ to me. I nearly fucking _blush_ and nod, throwing them a thankful gaze. That is, of course, until I catch the disdainful glare of Snape as I catch him leering at Lily. _What's that about?_ I blanch and look away quickly, not entirely fond of looking at the little creep for too long.

Slughorn sets us the task of preparing to brew the super duper lucky potion next lesson, and soon everyone is practically fighting their way out of the dull lesson to _freedom._ I hardly have any time to gather my things and stuff my textbook back into my already full bag (Emma's present was taking up a lot of room) before Remus is dragging me past my friends and the Marauders with a determined look on his face.

'See you in Charms!' I shout to Emma, who merely rolls her eyes and goes back to her conversation with Edith. I'm not so dumb that I don't catch the way the Marauders all grin at each other as Remus clasps my hand tightly in his, long legs taking me from the room. 'Quit _sprinting,_ will you?' I snap, tugging him to slow down. 'I have long legs, but not nearly as long as yours, _Ichabod_ '.

He actually slows down, but still sends me a grim look as we walk swiftly through the busy corridors, hands clasped. 'You're a shit sometimes, you know that? Don't _laugh._ I'd like to see _your_ reaction if you got an erection in _class-'_

'Well, I mean, considering I have a _vagina-'_

'You _know_ what I mean-'

'Stop being _mean._ It's Valentines Day _and_ my Birthday. I am _untouchable-'_

He tugs me closer to him and whispers hotly in my ear. 'You are going to be _anything_ but untouchable as soon as we get to my bed, Lola'.

I blink dumbly at him as he pulls away and walks swiftly along, my mouth dry and my face flushed. How could he do that so easily? Go from moody, to awkward, to fucking _hot_ in ten seconds flat? I yank him harder after a pause, a smile fighting its way across my face. 'Yeah, you're right. Let's hurry, shall we?' He laughs at that, allowing me to pull him along as my heavy bag swings at my side.

The moment we get through the portrait hole after Remus practically shouts, ' _Banana fritters!'_ (which has me snorting at the ridiculousness of such a _Gryffindor_ password), and we're halfway up the boys staircase, Remus spins me around, causing me to almost fall down the stairs, and kisses me breathlessly on the mouth.

'Would it be completely cheesy of me to remind you that this is where we first kissed?' He murmurs against my mouth.

I roll my eyes and hold his school jumper. 'You're such a _Gryffindor'._ All the same, I tug him back for another warm kiss, still not entirely sure how I came to have a _boyfriend_ on _Valentines Day._ He was getting _better_ at kissing, and that thought alone had me dragging him to the Sixth Year dorms and slamming the door behind me. The moment I do, there's a large bang and I fucking _screech_ as three words scatter themselves across the dorm in sparkling, golden letters.

 _HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOLA!_

'Padfoot's idea,' Remus says, hand on my waist as he stands behind me. 'I can't really take credit-'

Still, I turn around, drop my bag and grasp his jaw, kissing him with all that I have, grinning against his mouth when he leads me back onto the bed with his hands gripping my hips. The moment I land softly on his pristine made bed (the whole dorm is a whole lot cleaner, actually) he crawls on top of me and kisses every bit of available skin, his breathing laboured and his skin scorching.

I comply easily, grinning when he yanks his wand from his pocket and aims a Locking Charm at the door, before lobbing his wand to his bedside table. He's warm above me, tense and moving at a mile a minute to touch every inch of me that he can. I was starting to understand what he was like around the full moon, now, and the only word that I could use to describe it was _wired._

He allows me to tug loose his Gryffindor tie, yank his jumper over his head and then go about unbuttoning the _copious_ amount of buttons that litter his school shirt. He looks down at me as I do so, our legs tangled and my heart racing in my chest. Once I am face to face with the familiar red and pink scars that litter his chest, I pull him down roughly for yet another kiss, not even attempting to move on top. If there was one thing I had learnt about Remus, it was that _he_ liked to be on top whenever we made out.

I undress quickly after that, practically tearing my jumper and tie from my body as he laughs at my eagerness, only stopping when I nearly tumble off of the bed. 'Merlin, Lola,' he laughs, leaning down to press his mouth against my breast, just above my black and green striped bra. I hold onto him, pressing my lower half close to his and practically finishing right there when he lets out a little growl against my chest.

'Did you just _growl?'_ I whisper, to which he merely tells me to shut up with a blush rising over his neck. I laugh and kiss his hair and his cheeks, hands gliding down his hard chest and stomach, past the hair there and cupping him through his school trousers. 'Can we take those off, please?' He complies quickly and I grin cheekily, helping him kick them off the bed and onto the floor, joining my own shirt and jumper. With that done, I slip a hand underneath the elastic strap of his boxers and watch his eyes flutter shut, light and long eyelashes dusting over his cheeks.

The moment I begin moving my hand, legs rising to rest on hips, he stops me with a half-smile and eyes so dark I can hardly see the brown. ' _Your_ Birthday,' he reminds me, seeking permission as his hand dances down and yanks up the hem of my skirt, before dipping underneath and finding... _there._ I arch against him, body on _fire_ and mouth snapping open. He _attacks_ me then, reigning kisses from my neck to my covered breasts as I gasp beneath him. 'Can I...?' I edges down and, to my utter delight, I realise _exactly_ what he is suggesting.

'Holy fuck, _yes,'_ I breath, watching him with hooded eyes and a wet mouth as he scoots a little down the bed, dragging my skirt down my legs with him. I wiggle free of it and watch him lob it onto the floor, a grin flashing across my face when he eyes my underwear with a somewhat apprehensive look. I don't _think_ I've seen anything more fucking _sexy_ that Remus Lupin kneeling before me with dark eyes, swollen lips, completely shirtless with a massive boner. I really think I want a fucking oil painting of this sight.

He kisses my thigh first, and I throw my hands up to cover my face when he pull down my underwear and I feel his hot breath flush against my inner thigh and then...yup. Oh, _yup._ He kisses my centre, before his tongue and his mouth...and... _holy shit._ I arch and moan - _loudly._ 'Jesus, Remus'. He grips my thighs tighter, and I laugh lowly, half moaning at the feel of him moving his mouth all the more eagerly against my core. 'Are you good at _everything?'_ I ask breathlessly. When he nips me lightly (something _no one_ had done before) I nearly fucking _die._

Like everything he does, he becomes more confident the longer he does it. After ten minutes of him kissing and licking me fucking _wet,_ he's practically _dragging_ me down the bed as I press myself closer to him, _biting my fucking hand_ to stop the moan from coming out of my mouth. Because, _fuck,_ Remus is fucking _brilliant_ at eating a girl out.

Like, _really_ fucking good.

I am _aching_ at this point, and saying all kinds of gibberish. So, the moment I drawl, hands clasping his hair, 'I _really_ need you inside of me, Remus', he pulls away from me, mouth wet and eyes darker than I had ever seen them, and grins a grin I had _never_ seen grace is face. 'Fuck - _now,'_ I moan, sitting up and unclasping my bra quickly. As it falls away, I watch him kneel, swallow and then crawl over to me as I drag him over.

The room is _boiling_ and his skin sticks to mine, and the feel of his harness pressing through the fabric of his boxers against me is driving me fucking _mad._ 'Are you sure you wanna do this?' I gasp, pulling away from his kiss as he grinds against me, breath laboured against my face. 'I mean, if you're not ready-'

He looks at me like I am the stupidest person in the world. 'Are you _mental?'_

'Oh, thank God,' I breathe, dragging him back to the kiss and raising my legs, using my feet to push his boxers further down his hips. His erection springs free immediately, and with one perfect angling of his hips and one dark look down at me, he pushes into my entirely. I'm sure he says about a million curses as he buries his head into my hair and thrusts once as I rake my fingernails lightly over his back.

It doesn't take long for me to climb on top, of course. I move quickly, knowing full well that he wouldn't last long. He scrambles to grab at my hips, eyes screwed shut and fucking _worshipping_ the ground I walk on. I fucking _moan_ in return, hands pressed against his chest as I move my hips in any way I fucking _can,_ desperate to meet the build of friction that was rising up in me. This was nothing - _nothing -_ like being with Brant or Fabian. The feel of Remus inside me was fucking _golden._

When he comes, he digs his hands so far into my hips that I'm sure it'll bruise. Hi eyes screws shut and the tension in his shoulders falls away; it's fucking _beautiful._ He wastes no time in pushing me back onto the mattress with eager eyes and a wolfish grin to return the favour, though. I assure him its fine, but he merely pushes my legs apart and says, 'Don't be _daft,_ Lola. I could eat you out for hours, anyway'.

I think I fucking _love_ this boy.

I come quickly, wet and hard and I have to drag him up to me so I can muffle the moan with his mouth. I am fucking _sated,_ and it's only now that I truly understand the meaning of that word. Sleepily, I drag him to climb underneath the covers with me and roll onto my stomach, chin resting against his slim and scarred chest. 'Well,' he says, looking down at me with a satisfied look. 'That was...'

'Bloody brilliant,' I say, grinning up at him. 'I'm going to be sore for hours - are you _sure_ you were a virgin, Mister Lupin?' He looks _far_ too proud after I say that. 'Climb off your high horse, idiot,' I mutter, slapping him lightly on the chest. 'Remus?' I inquire lightly, watching as he absentmindedly goes to touch the top of my head and grasp a frizzy curl.

He hums and adjusts the pillow beneath his head.

'I...um. I love you, y'know?'

He actually stalls, eyes widening and mouth opening as he looks down at me. I mean, fuck, I wasn't _in love_ with him. Probably not, anyway. I don't know. I just...loved him, I guess. _Adored_ him. Finally, he laughs. 'Shit. I never thought _you_ would say it first'.

'Fuck off,' I laugh, raising my head to look at him properly.

He grins and pulls me up so that my head rests on the pillow near him, and I am hit with the scent of pine trees and books. 'I love you too, I _guess_ ,' he replies, snorting when I throw him an affronted look. 'I was joking! I let you _deflower_ me. Of course I _love_ you, Lola. As terrible as you are, you're _amazing._ I was a mere blushing virgin before you-'

I laugh in a mortified manner and shake my head. 'Merlin. No. _Never_ call it that _ever_ again'.

He laughs in return, before making a little surprised noise and holding me to him as he lean down the other side of the bed, a grin rounding his still flushes cheeks. 'I nearly _forgot,'_ he mumbles, leaning back onto the bed heavily and presenting me with a package wrapped in brown, ripped paper. 'Shoddy wrapping - _sorry._ It's not... _amazing._ Not nearly as cool as the stuff Zaveri got you. But, still-'

I yank the present from his grasp and kiss him sloppily on the stubbled cheek. 'Be quiet, stupid. I'll love whatever you get me'. I unwrap it on the space of bed in front of us, throat tightening when I see exactly what was in the small, square wrapped package my stupid, werewolf boyfriend had presented me with. It was a picture. Taken, I assume, by Sirius just a week ago. He had nabbed Marlene's camera as I hung by the Black Lake with a few of the Gryffindors, after Remus insisted that they wouldn't mind me joining them.

I had, after some pushing, gone with them.

I hadn't even known Sirius was taking a photo. _That_ shows in the picture, when I _do_ realise he is. It's myself and Remus. We're wearing horrible, bundled up clothes to protect us from the cold as we stand in front of the Black Lake, and, very briefly, James pops into the frame as he calls something to Remus. Remus, in reply, entirely ignores him and instead continues to speak to me, our gloved hands joined and our heads pressed close to one another. I'm grinning up at him with a cocked brow, whereas he is tugging at a curl of my wiry hair.

As I grin, I look toward the camera and stall, face colouring and my middle finger flying up to Sirius. Remus, in return, presses his mouth to my hair and mutters something to me. I remember what it was. It was, 'Can't let them see you soft, oh terrifying one'. The smile blossoms on my face once again.

'Oh,' I say, very intelligently. 'Oh. Remus'. I lower the green and red frame and look up at him, our faces pressed close together on the pillow. 'You're...such a fucking dork. Oh my God. This is _amazing._ No, don't pull that face. I _love_ it'.

Pressing my mouth to his, I show him _just_ how much I love it.

* * *

 _February 18th 1977_

 _8:01 AM_

* * *

I elect to miss classes that day, having already run to the Hospital Wing the night before feigning _terrible_ period cramps and wearing the pale make up powder that Bulstrode used, the ghoul. _Hopefully_ she wouldn't notice that I had taken it, anyway.

Instead, I had gathered the Astronomy book that Remus got me and taken my latest _mile long_ essay work on to Gryffindor Tower. Thing is, it was the full moon. Meaning I'd had the Gryffindor Dorm to myself _all night._ I had begged Remus to let me see him in the morning, to which he had, after ages of insisting I wouldn't want to see him, complied. True to Black's departing words, as the boys and a haggard looking Remus left me in their dorm just an hour before the moon was set to rise, I _did_ end up enjoying lying in Remus's piney smell all night.

That leads us to _now._

The boys walk in, all tired looking and all helping Remus stumble into the room. I rise quickly off of the bed and chuck his worn copy of _Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring_ onto his pillow, gaze concerned and head all jittery. My Astronomy work had lasted well into the night. 'How is he?' I ask quickly, hurrying over to Remus and ignoring his moody look at my appearance. 'Quit with the glaring, you baby'.

He stumbles onto the bed rather ungracefully, clad only in a baggy jumper and jeans. He looks _awful._ Skin slick and pale and bruised. Sirius leans heavily against the wardrobe and yawns. 'It wasn't too bad. He just wanted to _play_ all bloody night. Prongs copped the worst of it, because he's the biggest of all three of us'. I crack a smirk at that, causing Sirius to grin. 'Don't be _filthy_ , Lola'.

James stumbles into the bathroom with a, 'She only laughs because it's true!'

Pettigrew, on the other hand, goes about gathering up his school robes and mumbling that they should get changed, because breakfast would end soon. I turn away, standing before Remus and lowering my head to be level with his. Pressing my palm against his cheek, I jump at his sudden flinch. 'Sorry,' I mumble, turning away from his dark gaze. He looks grumpy, and the fact that he was an utter wreck didn't exactly help anything at all.

'You shouldn't _be_ here,' he grumbles, sliding his shoes off of his feet and wincing the whole time. He didn't look half as bad as the month before, but it still fucking _shook_ me how _weak_ he seemed. A stark opposite from how he had been just a few days ago. I hum in reply to his empty words, knowing full well that the moon was playing with his emotions. ' _You shouldn't,'_ he says more forcefully.

I sigh and look back down at him, trying not to show how surprised I am to see how hateful his eyes look as he stares up at me. 'Okay, Remus,' I reply, shuffling up the bed and throwing the covers back. He follows my movements. 'After you get into bed I can _leave-'_

A hand flies out to grab my wrist as I peel back the bed I had so perfectly made early in the morning as I awaited their arrival. ' _No'._ I look in surprise at him, taking in his desperate wide eyes and his scratched up wrist, before looking slowly over my shoulder. Sirius and Pettigrew stand with their school shirts half buttoned up, whilst James hovers awkwardly in the bathroom doorway.

'Er - we'll get going in a sec,' Sirius states awkwardly, as if they're encountering a very _intimate_ moment.

I blush and cringe at how _soft_ I am being, and then look stonily back to Remus. Cautiously, I twist my wrist in Remus's hold and let the bed covers go. Taking his hand loosely in mine, I throw him an amused smile. 'Well, I _obviously_ wasn't going to go, was I?' I murmur.

It doesn't take long for the Marauders to sleepily throw their clothes on as I keep my back turned to them, standing back as Remus shuffles up the bed and throws his legs onto the mattress. As they leave, Sirius grasps my shoulder and presents me with a very un-Sirius like smile. With a nod my way and a light kick to Remus's bed that I assume is some kind of male goodbye, he follows James.

'I'll bring you back some chocolate cake from the kitchens later,' Pettigrew promises.

'Cheers, Pete,' Remus rasps, already slowly sliding down the bed with half-closed eyes. I wince out a spasm of a smile to the chubby boy in return. At that, he nods, pauses, and then trips from the room to follow his best friends. 'That was kind of you,' Remus mumbles sarcastically, and I turn back to him with a quirked brow and a small frown. At that, he grimaces and sinks deeper into the bed.

'No, come on,' I insist, rounding on him and going to tug up the hem of his baggy jumper. 'You need to get _comfy._ I don't think I have _ever_ said these words before, but today I am at your beck and call,' I grin toothily at him as he sits up and allows me to tug his jumper over his head. That grin falters the moment I clock the scratches and deep bruises lining his rib-cage.

'Pretty bad, huh?' he drawls, watching me carefully.

I shrug and fold the jumper, worrying my bottom lip. _Every month. Every month. Every month._ 'Trousers,' I order, giving him a pointed nod. In reply he winces and undoes the button of his jeans, before kicking them off his feet as I help him. How could it have only been a few days ago that he was doing the same thing, but in such a different manner? 'Okay. Sleep?'

He hums and slides under the covers, cheeks reddening and gaze averted. 'You can go if you want. You didn't have to pretend to be ill today. I was being _stupid_ before-'

'You're being stupid _now,'_ I snap, dumping the folded clothes on his trunk, and then rounding the bed back to him. 'Is there enough room for the two of us?' I inquire, already halfway out of my jeans as I waddle back to his side of the bed. 'I brought my pyjamas - I'm a slob, sorry. Total day pyjama person. Anyway, I don't want to hurt you? What potions did Pomfrey give you? Do you-'

'The others don't believe me when I tell them you're like this,' he announces, leaning against his headboard with his wiry chest bare and the covers pulled up to his waist. 'There's enough room for both of us. How about...' He looks about the room, before his gaze lands on the Astronomy book. 'How about you read me some of that? It's the one I got you, right?'

I nod and yank on my pyjama shorts, before pulling off my jumper and crawling into bed with him in just my white bra. 'Are you sure?'

'It'll help me sleep,' he nods, wincing as he winds an arm around my waist and rests his head against the tall, mahogany headboard. 'Tell me about the _stars and planets and stuff,_ Lola'.

I rest my shoulder behind his, turn to him and stick my tongue out, before giving him a swift kiss on the nose. 'Prepare to be _educated,_ Remus Lupin,' I announce, reaching for the book and planting it on the red covers in front of us. I fight a smile as he rests his head tiredly against mine, and he _reeks_ of the outside. His shaggy hair tickles my cheeks, and I smile.

'I can scarcely wait,' he mumbles, in such a way that make me think his eyes are already sliding shut.

I crack open the book, landing on a page where the constellations move and line up with each other before me. ' _Ahem._ It might look like all the stars are out there, all by themselves, but many come in pairs...'

* * *

 **I couldn't resist writing this chapter. Right. It's gonna get serious form now on. Ish. Kind of. I'm going to start bringing in other story lines, anyway. Sixth year is going to go pretty quick, now! Anyway, how's everyone doing? Once again, stuck in dreary an rainy Wales here. Thank you so much for the reviews, and those who have followed me on tumblr! It's qarlgrimes, by the way!**


	31. The Evans Seal Of Approval

_Think what you want, but I'm nobody's fool_ \- **Victoria Aveyard**

* * *

 _March 12th 1977_

 _4:15 PM_

* * *

I blink back at Slughorn, my stomach clenched and my cheeks hot. 'You...you owled my _father_ and got him to get me a placement in the Muggle Liaison Office this summer?'

Slughorn, ever the optimist, beams back at my with red cheeks and a twitching moustache. I honestly wonder what the punishment would be if I punched him in the face. Surely they wouldn't _expel_ me? 'Just for a week, Miss Leola! He seemed quite taken aback at your interest toward becoming an Unspeakable! Have you not told your father _anything?'_ He doesn't give me a moment to answer before he's ploughing on. 'Although the Department of Mysteries is a highly secretive Department within the Ministry, it's best to get an in where you can, my dear. Better to have a Plan B!'

...Surely Dumbledore would believe me if I told him I tripped, and that my fist happened to land on the Potions Masters face? _Surely?_

Slughorn shifts in his large chair as some foul smelling potion bubbles behind him. He, apparently, is not noting the dull glare I'm sending his way. 'Now, I _have_ asked the contacts that I have within the Ministry about how one could pursue a career as an Unspeakable, though many have merely stated that _high grades,_ a keen mind and keeping one foot in the doorway is the _best_ way. Your father seemed very keen to have you in his Office for one week over summer. Perhaps you may be able to poke about in other Departments?'

 _Be nice._ I lock my ankles together and claps my hands, the smile that spasms across my face near _painful._ I didn't want to work with my dad for a _week_ over summer. I wanted to relax in my last summer before Seventh Year! If not that, then I wanted to find my _own_ way to getting some work experience at the Ministry that didn't involve working with my bloody _dad._ Still, I plaster on that frozen smile and give Slughorn a small dip of my head as I sit before him across the desk. 'That sounds...very good, Professor. Thank you _so much'._

Slughorn beams. 'I only wish for each of my House to do well, Miss Leola'. _For your own gain, yeah._ 'I understand that your Charms grades are doing _far_ better with the help of Mister Lupin. Professor Flitwick informed me that your last grade was an _O._ A wise choice keeping the smarts of the Gryffindor lad close to you, my dear'. With that, he sends me a wink that has me blanching.

I do _not_ fancy talking about my relationship with Slughorn.

'Oh... _yeah_ ,' I choke out a laugh.

'Now, now - I will let you get back to your friends! It is Friday night, after all, and I have _many_ a paper to mark from my Seventh Years,' he stands steadily from his chair, hands planted against the table, and I practically fall from mine in my haste. Before I can even hurry out a goodbye, he says, 'I must condone you and Miss Vanity for your change in attitude toward one another. It is a pleasant thing to see such a thing in our House. Us Slytherins look out for our _own_ , you know'.

I tuck my chair under the desk and actually throw the Professor a half-grin. 'We do indeed, sir'.

The moment I step out into the hallway, Edith and Emma are hanging outside the Office. 'Apparently I'm spending the week working in the Muggle Liaison Office with my father this summer,' I greet to them, a sullen look on my face.

Emma merely lets out an annoying, short laugh. 'How unlucky it is to be _you'._

Edith, on the other hand, beams. 'Oh, that's wonderful, Lola! You'll get so much experience! Do you _finally_ know what it is that you're wanting to do with your life now-'

'Nope'. A lie, of course. I just not enjoy _sharing_ my ambitions and stuff with the world in the likely or unlikely even that I fail. Plus, Edith is _annoying_ when I share such things. Emma might start rolling her eyes if I do, anyway. It's her _favourite_ thing to do. Brushing aide Edith's deadpan look at my blatant lie, I push for the two of them to start walking. 'Where did Brant and Endrew go? They were here when I left'.

Emma adjusts her school bag and shrugs lightly. 'They made up some story about going to the library. I highly doubt that's true, of course. I can only imagine Zaveri has dragged the dimmer twin off to some corner of the castle to smoke a joint-'

'I'll elect to take that comment as a compliment, Emma,' Edith says with a laugh in her voice, throwing Emma a sideways glance. It was still a fucking shock to me that Edith had taken such a shine to Emma's terrible way of addressing people and cold exterior. Still, I suppose she _did_ put up with me for six years. 'And they could be anywhere, really. They'll find us a dinner'.

And find us at dinner, they did. Whilst Emma and I sat with Jone at the far end of the Slytherin table, I watched with narrowed eyes as Endrew and Brant strutted quickly into the Great Hall and slid in either side of Edith, who spoke quietly with some seventh year boy of whom I _knew_ she fancied. When Emma let out a small snort beside me, I ask her what the fuck she was laughing at, to which she merely replied, 'Nothing, you ogre. _Please_ don't speak with your mouth full'.

Jone, in reply, could only laugh.

It was only in that moment, in which I turned slowly to glare at him, that I caught the eye of a certain Black looking down the table at me. You see, it wasn't exactly often that any of our Housemates looked our way. Since my duel with Bulstrode months ago, the nasty insults had been demoted to glares and snide comments. So, to see the pale and cool face of Regulus Black peering my way from his place among the Death Eater 'babies' (the Fifth, Sixth and Seventh years of our House) had me stalling and snapping my mouth shut.

In return, he merely turns away coolly as if he hadn't been looking my way at all.

'Your boyfriend is coming. Merlin, could he not _attempt_ to look slightly more groomed?'

Squashing down the feeling of surprise at seeing the Fifth Year looking my way, I sneer momentarily at Emma at instead look forward to where I can see Remus walking along the House Tables and toward my own one. _Oh, bugger. He knows to stay away from my table. Even Brant, Edith and Endrew know that one._ Anyway, I don't know what the fuck Emma's talking about. The next full moon wasn't for another week - Remus looked _tasty._ He'd elected to go for the prim and proper Prefect look that day, with his school tie done up neatly.

I trip from my seat in a slight panic at him coming near my delightful classmates, politely telling Emma to shut up and that I would see her later for bed. Remus watches from the other side of the table in slight amusement as I hurry round to meet him, warning eyes shot toward the Slytherins who wrinkle their noses at a Gryffindor coming their way. Not only that, but a _Marauder._

'I _told_ you that they will _eat you alive,_ Remus,' I mumble to him, hand joining with is. I note with a light blush that McGonagall dips her smile into her napkin as she sits at the Teachers Table. Remus, in reply, sighs and tugs me down the aisle between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables. 'I'm serious! James and Sirius haven't exactly given the name _Marauder_ positive connotations with my House'.

'With _any_ House,' Remus grumbles in return, as I wiggle my fingers in hello to my Ravenclaw best friends. 'How was your meeting with Slughorn?'

I wave a hand. 'I can tell you later. Long story. Are _you_ okay, anyway?'

We walk swiftly from the Great Hall, hands joined, as Remus replies. 'As good as can be. I'm glad it's Friday. About tonight...' He trails off and I blink curiously up at him. We _had_ planned to sit by the Black Lake now that the weather was getting just a _little_ less terrible, and munch on chocolate and drink old Firewhiskey. His seventeenth Birthday had been just two days ago. Although I had given him the gifts of a groovy as fuck trunk from the Gladrags shop in Hogsmeade (with his name and initials printed on it in little gold letters - cost me a _bomb)_ and a hasty blowjob in both of our free periods in a broom closet, we hadn't had the chance to celebrate properly.

In other words, I wanted Birthday sex. For _him,_ of course.

Ahem.

'...We might have to leave it for tomorrow night. Padfoot's Uncle died last night'.

I immediately feel guilty for thinking only of boning Remus. 'Oh, _fuck._ Is Sirius okay? Did he...did he _like_ his Uncle?' I think of Regulus, and the long look he had given me at dinner. Did _he_ know? He hadn't looked too upset.

We wander down one of the corridors, watchful of the students that mill around us and head back to their Common Rooms. Remus gives a small shrug. 'He always had a soft spot for Sirius, I think. Pads has always spoken highly of him. He got blasted off the Family Tree too. Oh,' he says, at my confused look. 'Apparently they have this Family Tree painted in the house in London. Sirius got burnt off by his lovely mother last summer, and Uncle Alphard a little before that. He left Padfoot a lump of money and nothing for them, apparently'.

I pull an impressed face. 'Merlin. Poor _Sirius_. You tell him I'm sorry and that I can throw some Firewhiskey his way if he needs it, won't you?'

Idly, he leans against the open window that overlooks the darkening courtyard of the school and pulls me to stand in front of him, a calm smile upon his scarred face. Despite the fact he's sitting, his amber eyes come almost level with my hazel ones. I shuffle between his open knees as his hands play with the hem of my skirt. 'I will, lovely'.

My heart just about drops out of my butt at that comment. Hands freezing against the lapels of his robes, I slowly grin. '...Thanks, _lover boy_ -'

'Oh, for Pete's sake-'

'Or would you rather Snicker Doodle? Or Perhaps Sugar Pie Honey _Bun_?'

'It was a slip of the tongue, Lola-'

I grin and shake my head, leaning forward to press my lips quickly against his. 'I was only _joking,_ _love._ Love. I kind of like that. See? I can be all affectionate _too'._ I kiss him once again, only to have my lips caught by his the moment I pull away. A group of first years grumble at the sight. To my mortification, I see Charlie ducking away from the sight with a red face as he hurries down the hallway.

'Prongs doesn't want our _Sirius Cheer Up Session_ to start until six, anyway. He's managed to scrounge a study session with Lily in the library. Sirius was _adamant_ that he go'. His fingers curl tighter around my waist, and all the breath is practically sucked out of me as he edges me forward. 'We have _some time-'_

I sniff in reply. 'Using me for _sex,_ are we? You _dog,_ Remus Lupin. Oh, I'm _joking'._ I laugh, stepping once away from him as the Arithmancy teacher hurries down the corridor with her wand drawn and a displeased look upon her face. Probably some first year trouble. 'You don't know how _much_ I would like to comply, _especially_ right now, but Aunt Flow has come a'knocking and she's a _bitch'._

His mouth snaps shut so quickly, I may as well have told him I was currently bleeding jelly beans. After I throw him a cocked eyebrow and pray to Merlin he isn't judging _me_ for _my_ monthly, he stands so quickly I have to stumble back a step. Before I can even ask him what the hell he's doing, he's throwing me a smarmy smile and locking his fingers with mine.

'Come on, lovely'.

Throwing aside my dubious stare, I shrug and grin. 'Okay, _love'._

When he presents me with a broom closet on the second floor after much hurrying and shushing from him, I sigh and throw him an exasperated look. 'Whilst I am _perfectly_ fine with sorting _you_ out, don't you think you're being a little _selfish-'_ I am, of course, cut off my him pressing me against the door of the broom closet with a hot mouth and a tall, solid form against mine. From the mere way he presses his hard on against mine, I know _full well_ he's thinking something different from me.

Still, I was horny and on my period. I wanted to see where this was _going._

It's only when he pushes me into the dusty and musty broom closet and presses his mouth on my neck and and his knee between my legs that I _truly_ understand his way of thinking. ' _Remus_ -' I start, actually fucking _blushing._

His only reply is to shut the latch on the door and cast a quick Silencing Charm over his shoulder. Apparently having clocked on just a few months into our relationship that I was a sucker for a dirty mouth, he holds me tightly by the waist and murmurs hotly against my throat with a low voice, 'You help me out on _my_ monthly, lovely. Now I wanna see _you_ cum when you need it'.

All thoughts of my summer work experience and Sirius's loss fly from my mind as Remus presses his thigh between my legs and trails warms kisses over my neck. 'O _kay,'_ I agree breathlessly, wondering what the fuck I did to deserve a boyfriend like Remus fucking Lupin. In reply, he laughs against my neck and pushes forward his leg, I comply by making a move to press myself against his pretty prominent hardness. 'One second,' he mutters.

And then he fucking _pushes me up the wall_ and balances me on his leg and I am fucking worried I'm going to _break him._ But _then_ he draw my skirt over my tights and presses himself against me, so fucking _hard._ It doesn't take long for me to me a moaning wreck in his arms and drag his face to mine, kissing him hard as I shift my thighs against his, desperate for that _release._ It builds and builds as he drags me closer to him, urging me with a shift of his hips and a a push against my behind.

With his fingers pressed against my behind and my legs hooked around his skinny thighs, I cum breathlessly in his ear to his light urging. 'Merlin,' I gasp, dropping to shakily to my feet. 'Only _you_ could make me enjoy dry humping that fucking much. Stellar idea, my love. I fucking love you'.

And with pupils blown and his erection pressing neatly against my stomach, he grins and tells me he loves me too.

* * *

 _March 24th 1977_

 _9:10 AM_

* * *

'I thought we, and by we I mean _I,_ would pick pairs for the brewing today! Now, no arguments, please!' Slughorn stands at the head of the warm classroom, his arms spread and his moustache twitching. 'It has been decided. When I call your pair, go sit in that pair! Now, James Potter and Margaret Bulstrode!' I looked over to see James cringe, as Remus, Pettigrew and Sirius stifle laughter into their hands. It wasn't exactly a secret that James and Bulstrode hated each other, since he had hexed her now graduated brother when we had been in fourth year.

'Frank Longbottom and Marlene McKinnon!'

'Emma Vanity and Severus Snape!' I watch as Emma stiffly turns to the boy sitting behind her, before sliding from her seat and glaring at the Ravenclaw girl next to him to _move._

'Alice Lavier and Endrew Bandini!'

'Remus Lupin and Edith Bandini!' _Bugger. There goes three people I was hoping to be paired with._ I watch sullenly as Remus slips onto the seat where Endrew sat, as the latter plods across the room to the Gryffindor girl.

'Sirius Black and Brant Zaveri!' Brant huffs out a dry laugh from beside me, to which I throw him a wry smile and watch as he moves to the desk across from our own, to sit beside the awkward looking Sirius Black. In front of me, Remus gives his friend a hard stare, whereas Edith turns to look over her shoulder and presents me with a very dry look.

I don't miss the alarmed look Endrew projects across the classroom.

'Peter Pettigrew and Corban Yaxley!' Pettigrew looks right about ready to wet himself as he approaches the sour looking Slytherin. I am _far_ too filled with glee at the sight of the chubby Gryffindor wandering to the other end of the classroom with a nervous glance James's way. The boy in question was too busy leaning as far away from Bulstrode as he possibly could from his place at the head of the classroom.

'Lily Evans and Lola Leola!'

 _Oh, bugger._ I match Lily's radiant smile as she turns to look at me and slides easily from her seat, her red hair bouncing about her shoulders as she comes to join me at my table at the back of the classroom. Fuck. Why did I have to be paired with Lily Evans? She was bloody brilliant at Potions. Although I wasn't _terrible,_ I knew either way that I was going to mortify myself in front of her. It was bad enough that on the occasion Remus and I partnered together, he completely whooped my ass.

Turns out we're making the Wiggenweld Potion, the opposite of the Draught of Living Death. Shockingly, we get on quite well with the brewing of the Potion. I sort the ingredients, whereas Lily adds them slowly to the mixture and stirs the cauldron when needed. In front of us, I note how Remus and Edith are talking sparsely to one another, too caught up in their own potion making.

'You're very good for Remus, you know,' Lily says lowly, sprinkling a few lionfish spines which, in turn, causes the potion to turn a bright yellow. I turn away from unclasping the small bottle of flobberworm mucus, my brow arched and my hair thrown into a messy bun. From across the classroom, I hear the tell-tale sign of Bulstrode snapping loudly at James. Lily looks away from the potion briefly, green eyes amused as they look over my expression. 'He seems much happier. It's been so obvious he fancies you'.

 _Holy fuck. I have the Evans seal of approval._

I look idly to Remus's back, noting the way his sandy hair is frizzing in the heat of the room. He's too distracted to hear; his sleeves were pushed up to his elbows as he and Edith looked over their potion. He was looking better than he had a few days ago, when the full moon had hit. I had, much to his embarrassment, found myself in Gryffindor Tower after classes finished and presented him with a bog ol' tray of Honeydukes chocolate.

Honestly, James had looked about ready to weep.

I shrug and crack an awkward smile. 'Trust you to notice something like that,' I murmur, shooting her a light smile.

In return, she flashes those green eyes my way and tugs a rueful smile at the corner of her mouth. 'I notice a _lot_ of things, Lola. Just know...I'm pleased to say that you surprised me. When you gave that speech about werewolves last year...' she trails off and shrugs, going back to stirring the potion. 'I never clocked you to be someone who would _care-'_

I decide not to to take offence, and instead snort in amusement. 'Yeah, I know,' I say, passing her the flobberworm mucus, watching distractedly as it turns orange as Lily adds it slowly to the bubbling mix. Still something she said struck me...'What did you mean,' I start quietly, staring at the desk as I fiddle with my roughly painted nails. 'When you said you notice a lot of things?'

I look up to her, watching as she continues to stir the potion and sends me a serious sideways glance. _Oh, God. She knows. She knows. She knows._ 'You're very good to Remus,' she repeats quietly.

 _She knows._

'You need to give James a chance,' I say suddenly, reaching for the small vial of honeywater and shoving it her way. The panic that coils in me is surprising, even to me. I understand, finally, the horror that Remus must have felt when I told him I knew about his furry-little-problem. _She wouldn't tell anyone. Lily Evans is good._ 'I can tell that you're starting to fancy him'.

She goes such a bright shade of red that it nearly matches her hair.

 _That shut her up._

We leave the lesson on good terms, smiling and waving goodbye and, in the most subtle way that I can, I loop my fingers through Remus's and drag him from the classroom before anyone can even look our way. He grumbles at me, of course, asking what the _hell_ I am doing. I shake my head at him, mouth clamped shut as I drag him to the nearest tapestry and push him behind it, ignoring the curious look some students send us.

'I think Lily knows,' I say breathlessly, turning on him and registering his miffed off look. 'About your _furry-little-problem_ '. He adjusts his school bag and shifts awkwardly, his hand flying up to pat down his sandy coloured hair as his gaze flies away from my face. I narrow my gaze at him and take a step forward, peering up at him and catching his gaze. 'You knew she knew'.

'She's smart,' he shrugs, looking at me. 'I assumed she'd figured it out when she started being kinder to me around the full moon when we had rounds together. Bringing me chocolate and such. She's never said anything to me, but I trust her not to say anything...why are you looking at me like that?'

Honestly, I don't _want_ the roar of jealousy that comes through me to appear, but I am _pissed_ all of a sudden. 'So you didn't cut _her_ off when you thought _she_ knew? Good for Lily Evans, I guess,' I snip, sniffing and turning away from him. 'I'm going to library for my free - _alone._ Don't _look_ at me like that-' Gross. I'm jealous. I'm being _pathetic._ But why can I not stop that annoyance that trills through me at knowing he had trusted her far more than he had trusted me?

That she had given him chocolates long before I had?

'Lola!' he sighs, grabbing my arm and yanking me back. He sounds _annoyed._ I whirl on him and frown, my cheeks probably flushed from both anger and embarrassment. 'You're being bloody ridiculous. Lily's been one of my closest friends for _years-'_

I sniff and groan. 'I _know_ I'm being stupid!' I snap, frowning hard up at him. He replies by rolling his eyes and dropping my arm. 'Oh, bloody _hell_. I just want to fume in the library _alone_ , I'll be fine later, alright? You've just...' I wave my hands in his general direction. ' _Annoyed_ me'. I cluck my tongue. 'I love you,' I tell him moodily, to which he sighs and takes a step forward as I take one back.

'My reaction with you was worse because being with me would _change your life-'_

I poke him hard on the arm. 'Don't make me feel guilty!' In return, he merely laughs and huffs out yet another sigh. 'And do not _laugh._ My God, do you not know women at all? I'm going to the library, Remus. Good _bye'._

As I slip from the tapestry, I hurry down the corridor and wonder what the _hell_ made Lily so much more welcoming than me? I mean, yes, she was an all together warmer person, but I told him a billion fucking times how much I fancied him! And, er, _hello -_ the werewolf speech of Sixth Year? _You're being fucking dumb. He's with you. James fancies Lily, not Remus._

I fucking _know that._

As I round the corner that leads to the library, silently cursing myself for ditching Remus when I _really_ needed help with my DADA revision, I walk smack bang into a tall and dark figure with a yelp. As I right myself and look up with a glare, I have a moment of thinking it is, to my horror, _Snape._

It's not Snape, though.

It's Regulus Black.

With a frown, he adjusts his bag and throws me a bland look. 'Watch where you're going, Leola, will you?'

 _Boys suck._

I curl my lip at him and attempt to walk by him, my glare only becoming all the more furious when he catches my arm and peers at me with an amused expression. 'What - let me guess. Trouble in _paradise_?'

I wrench my arm from his grasp with a bewildered expression. 'Quit being a _prick,_ Regulus - don't you have a class to get to, or a _cult_ to join?' Rather than taking offence, he merely turns on me and stares me down with those grey Black eyes. ' _What?'_

Slowly, a smile spreads across his face that is neither kind nor nasty. 'You're rather _pretty_ when you get mad, you know-'

I cut him of before I can even continue, with a punch to his arm and a furious, 'Shut _up,_ will you?' I don't expect him to wince as heavily as he does, nor to grab the offending arm and take a step back from me. I stare at him in bewilderment, not knowing what the hell to do. _What a fucking pussy,_ I think, frowning hard at him. _That'll teach him to fuck with me. I am **buff-**_

And then I realise.

His left arm

He was holding his _left arm._

Well, his left forearm to be exact.

With a snide look and a rueful smile, he says to me, 'You look _surprised,_ Lola'. He then turns away from me entirely, his school robes billowing behind him in the afternoon sunlight that filters through the school windows.

 _Not surprise,_ I think, staring after him, eyes wide, and forgetting all about Remus. _Pity._

* * *

 **I'm back! I can't believe we've hit 300 reviews, thank you so much guys! I appreciate every single review that I get, so thank you!**

 **I'm also glad I put in a little argument that, one that, I think, is very much Lola's stubborn and angry personality shining through. She is not perfect, at all. She's a jealous Slytherin who looks at Lily Evans to be what everyone urges her to be like, but who she will never be. It's pretty common for women to get shamed for their anger, and I think that's why I let Lola's shine through so much.**

 **Anyway, all will be resolved next chapter. Luvvvv uuuu allll xxx**


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